October 2018 Moms
chyvie
member
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Infection Update
chyvie
member
Update: I spent another day at the hospital trying to figure out what the infection is and game plan. I saw my surgeon first at 9am and he apologized for his residents not addressing it sooner and dismissing it twice. I then saw the infectious diseases center and they assessed it and told me to come back at 3 pm to see the main Dr. as it's
serratia marcescens infection and difficult to get rid of because it is "sticky"
During the time I had to waste I popped in on my OB to give her an update and she said to treat me like I wasn't pregnant and make sure the infection is gone asap as it is the greatest risk at this point to me and the baby. The risks associated with surgery or antibiotics are minor compared to me going septic.
I then saw the Dr. at ID and he said he thinks that the only way to get rid of the infection completely is to remove the hardware in my shoulder and clean out the entire area. He also wants to see if it got to my bone or not.
So right now they have me on more targeted antibiotics for 2 weeks and I will have a follow up with each of them to asses next steps. Surgery likely won't happen for 3 more weeks or more until I'm at least 23 weeks and the baby is viable.
serratia marcescens infection and difficult to get rid of because it is "sticky"
During the time I had to waste I popped in on my OB to give her an update and she said to treat me like I wasn't pregnant and make sure the infection is gone asap as it is the greatest risk at this point to me and the baby. The risks associated with surgery or antibiotics are minor compared to me going septic.
I then saw the Dr. at ID and he said he thinks that the only way to get rid of the infection completely is to remove the hardware in my shoulder and clean out the entire area. He also wants to see if it got to my bone or not.
So right now they have me on more targeted antibiotics for 2 weeks and I will have a follow up with each of them to asses next steps. Surgery likely won't happen for 3 more weeks or more until I'm at least 23 weeks and the baby is viable.
Not great news and I'm not prepared to go through the pain of surgery / recovery again but it looks like my best option.
Will keep you all updated and I truly appreciate your thoughts and prayers.
Will keep you all updated and I truly appreciate your thoughts and prayers.
Me 33 DH 41
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Infection Update
DD 3/15/12
DD 6/3/14
#4 Due 10/26/18!
I need to now have faith in the team of Doctors and this will be taken care of before anything serious happens. I just have to stay positive and calm.
Luckily DH is finally communicating how stressed and worried he really is and he just handles it differently. One more day of solid packing and we will be done that stressful part and can focus on getting better!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
I went back to your original comment, and realized what was bothering me. The relavent bit is this:
I have two thoughts on this. Obviously, you know your husband and relationship better than I do, so, again, please disregard if they feel wrong for your situation.
1) It disturbs me that your husband was potentially drinking to cope with a source of major stress in his life. He knew you were at the ER, and presumably that you would need a ride home, but he put drinking in front of taking care of your needs. (I apologize if I am reading too much into this, but I’m a bit sensitive about alcohol issues.)
2) This is totally a personal experience, but early in my former marriage, my ex went to the hospital for a suspected heart attack and didn’t tell me until later that evening, after he had been released. By not giving me the option to be there with him, I felt cut out of his life and like he didn’t want me or value my companionship. Yes, I would have sat around the hospital twiddling my thumbs for several hours, but it would have been with and for him.
Again, I hope I’m not butting in where I am not wanted. I just think these are some things you might want to think through in the context of your own relationship.
I knew it was going to be a long wait and we had a busy week with all the packing so to make him wait with me and not work would have been counter productive. He wouldn't have been able to be with me the other two days if he missed the first day of work as he had a huge deadline.
In regards to his drinking he does drink most evenings a beer or two. It is his way of decompressing. He has never been an alcoholic in my eyes. He doesn't let alcohol get in the way of his life nor does it make him angry or agressive like some men get. It actually calms him. He used to smoke weed (only a bong hit) every night but he quit that when we starting trying for a baby and didn't start again. He also quite drinking while we were trying because we had difficulty and he thought it might help. So he doesn't reply or need it completely.
But if he needs a beer to help him relax then so be it. I know you might think or say it got in the way of his life that night to not come pick me up from the ER but we live somewhat walking distance to the hospital so he really didn't think I would want to be picked up and could take a cab.
I appreciate your concerns but he really is a great guy and we really don't fight or have many issues. We have traveled together for three months straight day in and day out and didn't even fight. I sometimes just get upset when he shuts down and gets a little selfish once and a while. This time around I didn't recognize that he was very concerned and stressed because his actions weren't how they normally were. He also said he was protesting the whole packing thing because he knew we were both stressed and it was adding to it. So I think it was just a big stressful week on both sides and we didn't communicate the way we normally do and it blew up in our faces. Emotions and hormones didn't help!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Edited because it ate some of my words
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
I also think it's hard not to ask the question and I appreciate @knottieamusements concern and for checking in on me because reading it back I did make it sound a lot worse! I was upset and stressed and it came out wrong. Plus like I said before this texting/ online messages are totally new to me. I'm not the best writer and sometimes forget to explain myself hahaha. Thanks for checking in
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
I’ve been in a few flame wars for saying very similar things in other groups. I don’t regret asking the questions or making the observations, but it always makes me a bit sad that rather than saying “Thanks for the comment, but fuck off”, people get nasty.
(Seriously- when some of the other group members complain about our group being too polite- they aren’t exaggerating. This is one of the nicest, most accepting online forums I have ever been a part of.)
I’m super glad to hear your Dh acknowledges he was stressed and not handling things well lately. It seems like he’s open to having further conversations if it continues (which of course I hope it doesn’t, but I’ve found pregnancy can really screw with both people involved and at least for me, has meant I can regress to old habits).
Not meaning to project on anyone in this group at all either, just thought I’d share my experience if helpful. I value that my partner is good about calling me out (supportively) when I’m falling into old habits or going into my shell.
ETA: like @knottieamusements I’m prone to extra sensitivity around alcohol issues so if I am reading too much into any of it I apologize. Even though I love beer, I hate the culture of “mama needs wine to deal with her kids” that everyone finds so cutesy. I get weirdly ”triggered” by it. Probably should go in the UO thread lol.
Married 07/2012
DD born 07/2014
DD2 born 10/2018
DS born 10/2022
IF history:
TTC #2 since January 2016
June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN
Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis
Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing
Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018
FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks
FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
I only commented once, maybe about 6 months ago I had noticed that his nightly beer consumption was creeping back towards college level and it concerned me. Again, it never cause an issue, but he’s my husband and I don’t want him to have drinking related health issues. He legit started drinking seltzer water the next day and cut down to like 2-3 beers a night. I think as long you feel comfortable with what he does and it’s not hurting himself, others or getting in the way of responsibility it’s totalky okay.
The video games is on his phone or iPad so luckily I still get to watch TV and spend time with him ahhaha he knows it will have to stop when banb comes as time will be revolving around the baby!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada