@highsteaks : I am someone who's always scared of annoying people by venting too much, so it's not a natural habit. Yet I might have to, for my mental health's sake! Thank you
...and I just realized I forgot to add a ticker. It's done now! I am 17 weeks today
@EvilRaccoon Pfft... girl you are in GOOD company Please don't let that keep you from posting. That's 1/2 of the reason to post here, get it off your chest and don't make yourself crazy keeping it to yourself. It's like 50% commiseration 50% celebration up in here
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
Ive been on and off lurking for awhile but Ive been a tad gun shy I guess. I bumped 3 years ago when I was preg with my daughter, there was a ton of drama but I met some incredible women that I still keep in contact with. I was excited to bump again this time, but theres a lot more rules and regulations now. To be honest, the constant policing of the board turned me off. I know, I know, thats def an UO. Any time theres snark or disagreement the threads get shut down. I kinda miss the freedom to have some fun dialogue and healthy disagreements. It just seemed like if I couldnt be my honest self, maybe there wasnt a point?
@emjohn517 i understand what you mean about the policing, but i’ve really come to appreciate it. as a frequent poster, it’s hard to go through a ton of post titles to find specific threads, and keeping one-off posts to a minimum (ESP when there are already threads that will suit the comment/question that get a heavy amount of traffic) helps keep the board running efficiently. and if you do venture into those threads, there’s a ton of fun dialogue going on. i don’t think one-off threads get shut down officially by anyone, just that they fizzle out because ops never come back to respond or even thank anyone for responding. ...which is part of the reason why some ladies have lost their patience with that sort of thing—nobody wants to feel used without reciprocation, ya know?
i lurked briefly on the bmbs right around the time of the great implosion (are we even allowed to mention that? please don’t ban me bump-powers-that-be), and i had no interest in joining because of the cattiness. i felt it was way less welcoming back then.
@highsteaks I’m not talking about the one offs, because those are super annoying. But there have been times where I’ve felt certain questions and topics warranted their own threads. Going through the specific “questions” thread and going through all the responses was just a bit chaotic. I would have elaborated on a few questions but once 10 more questions and answers are added and trying to reply and tag multiple people in a post, by the time I tried to keep it all straight with my toddler running around and needing her 10th snack, I kinda just let it go lol. Just throwing my own two cents in, and why I haven’t exactly felt compelled to jump in. We had a ton of drama back in the day, I have no desire or energy for that anymore lol, but I also don’t want to have to walk on egg shells for fear that every time I disagree I’ll get a warning.
@emjohn517 Just in case you don't know, it's not us who shuts down the threads, it's the admin who does it. It really is too bad that a lot of threads get shut down with any sort of drama, instead of letting us handle it like adults and talk to each other. You will definitely not get a warning for disagreeing with someone. People mostly get warnings when they are downright rude or use gifs to make fun of someone, so as long as you avoid that, you'll be fine. You won't be banned as soon as you get a warning though; I think you can get three before you're banned. You're right that some of the questions would be fine as their own threads. Some people are a bit more picky about that than others. The rule of thumb is to ask yourself "will this benefit the whole group if I post it?" and see what the answer is. Although in some cases, threads specific to one person can also be okay as their own post ( see the German measles thread and workplace concerns thread from today...those are very specific and are probably okay as their own thread, but that's just my opinion). Please come hang out with us!
@emjohn517 you’re not wrong. and yes, i do think that some questions are really are not given their due/own thread (probably out of fear of not following “the rules”) when it would probably be ok. but, like some of the pps have mentioned above, we’re ok with new discussions if you aren’t being a special snowflake, and we’ll probably move towards that once the early feeling out period calms down.
but really, imo it’s ok to jump back to tagging/answering a question with a differing response if you want to no matter how the old the question is... i’ve yet to see anyone get called out for it on this bmb. sometimes, just responding (others be d*mned) is the only way to get into the groove of things. i know sometimes i feel like i might be stepping on toes, but sometimes i’m surprised that there’s others who agree—really fuels me to keep trying to participate and work out my presence.
lordy, this is getting long winded, i’m sorry.
ALSO i hear you on having a toddler running around; many of the other ladies here understand too! i’v only been able to post so much this week because dd is with her grandparents right now. she comes back this weekend, and i fully expect to not be able to keep up like i have been doing.
ONE LAST THING (for now): you said you want “healthy disagreements” and then you said you have no energy for drama. well, i’ve been being my annoying honest self, and i’ve managed to avoid any drama so far. these ladies are really forgiving on difference of opinion and straightforward on what is just unsafe, period— and really, that’s the best i could ask for.
Alright, well you ladies convinced me to be more active lol. @highsteaks we used to get warnings left and right last time for the littlest things. Sure some were well deserved but, ya know
Re: ATTN: LURKERS ~ why don’t you post?
...and I just realized I forgot to add a ticker. It's done now! I am 17 weeks today
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
i lurked briefly on the bmbs right around the time of the great implosion (are we even allowed to mention that? please don’t ban me bump-powers-that-be), and i had no interest in joining because of the cattiness. i felt it was way less welcoming back then.
You will definitely not get a warning for disagreeing with someone. People mostly get warnings when they are downright rude or use gifs to make fun of someone, so as long as you avoid that, you'll be fine. You won't be banned as soon as you get a warning though; I think you can get three before you're banned.
You're right that some of the questions would be fine as their own threads. Some people are a bit more picky about that than others. The rule of thumb is to ask yourself "will this benefit the whole group if I post it?" and see what the answer is. Although in some cases, threads specific to one person can also be okay as their own post ( see the German measles thread and workplace concerns thread from today...those are very specific and are probably okay as their own thread, but that's just my opinion).
Please come hang out with us!
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
but really, imo it’s ok to jump back to tagging/answering a question with a differing response if you want to no matter how the old the question is... i’ve yet to see anyone get called out for it on this bmb. sometimes, just responding (others be d*mned) is the only way to get into the groove of things. i know sometimes i feel like i might be stepping on toes, but sometimes i’m surprised that there’s others who agree—really fuels me to keep trying to participate and work out my presence.
lordy, this is getting long winded, i’m sorry.
ALSO i hear you on having a toddler running around; many of the other ladies here understand too! i’v only been able to post so much this week because dd is with her grandparents right now. she comes back this weekend, and i fully expect to not be able to keep up like i have been doing.
ONE LAST THING (for now): you said you want “healthy disagreements” and then you said you have no energy for drama. well, i’ve been being my annoying honest self, and i’ve managed to avoid any drama so far. these ladies are really forgiving on difference of opinion and straightforward on what is just unsafe, period— and really, that’s the best i could ask for.