My first son was circumcised and if we have another, he will be as well. Just our personal choice. I definitely understand both sides and don’t judge anyone for deciding not to. I think it’s fine either way. For those of you who want to circumcise, but might be concerned about your child’s reaction, I want to share our experience (obviously different babies can have different reactions). In our experience they gave my son a couple drops of sugar water, did the procedure, and he didn’t cry at all of have any reaction to it. Afterwards, his penis was pretty red, but all we had to do was put Vaseline on it for a little while. I can remember how long. It never seemed to bother him and I didn’t ever see him react in discomfort or pain. It definitely made the experience easier for us.
I didn't want it done for DS but I told DH it was his decision (as I dont have a penis) and he would have to take care of it while it healed. I mean of course I did too but I wasn't too thrilled by it. We had the ring method done (not sure the technical term for it) and it was fine. He wasn't bothered by it and I feel it made the process easy.
3rd boy here and here will be circumcised. There was really never any discussion about it- DH was and he never even offered a different way when DS1 was born.
Personally, all penises are ugly to me. I wouldn't say female genitalia are any prettier Lol but I definitely personally prefer circ ones if I "had to choose"
Wow! This discussion is so civil! Way to be mature adults! I'm pretty sure this topic on my last board turned into some serious drama!
In having a girl this time so definitely no circumcision! My first is a boy and we chose not to circumcise him. My husband is not and felt very strongly about it so I was on board after he shared some resources with me. I had always been of the mind that I would do it, but some reading changed my mind. "Adam Ruins Everything" has an interesting video on the topic, you could probably find it on YouTube.
I know men and boys who are and who are not and everyone seems perfectly fine. I think either decision is a good decision if it's what you and your partner truly believe.
For DS, we were on the fence. Didn’t see a need, but didn’t want him to be the odd man out either. We asked our pedi during the interview what percentage of their patients are vs aren’t. I don’t remember the number, but the overwhelming majority still get it done. So we went ahead and had it done. I was nervous about caring for it while it healed, but it wasn’t a big deal. I’m sure we’ll do the same again, though we haven’t specially talked about it.
Random, but related. DH is a PE teacher and a year or so back he had a student with a doctors note that basically said the child had been circumcised. The kid was like 8, I can’t imagine. The poor kid couldn’t sit on the ground.
We didn't get DS circ due to DH coming from somewhere where you only did it if you are Jewish, which we are not. My MIL showed me how to clean him properly and he has never had an issue. If this one is a boy, we won't circ.
Our friends have their son circ, and it wasn't traumatic and he healed fast. We've never argued our choices and respected the other's choice.
This thread is so much more civilized than I'd expected!
I had an ex who wasn't circumcised, ended up having a lot of issues and got circumcised as an adult. Again just anecdotal but I remember it being a big deal for him. DH is circumcised so DS will definitely be circumcised. I didn't want to have to think about this either but it appears this baby has a Y chromosome so we had to have the talk.
Another thing that I just thought of for those of you who plan to have your son circumcised: I was taking with a woman during a hospital tour and she said that her pediatrician recommended having the hospital pediatrician do the procedure and to not go to your regular clinic for it unless your pediatrician has a lot of experience with the procedure. If your insurance covers circumcision (sometimes they will only cover it in the clinic, not in the hospital setting) but her ped said to have it done in the hospital even if insurance won't cover it. Her pediatricians rationale was that the hospital staff has much more experience and might do the procedure 100(s) times a month, where the clinic dr's typically perform them less often and therefore don't have as much experience. We had it done in the hospital last time, so didn't think about this, but I thought it was good insight when she told me.
I don’t love the idea, and if it were just up to me we wouldn’t be. But alas, DH has very strong feelings about it and each doctor we’ve asked (two OBs and a pediatrician) have all been pro-circ and making my case harder to argue. I’m trying to come to peace with it because it’s not my hill to die on, but mehh.
@koala1107 what are DHs main reasons for wanting one? Does he have any research or pros and cons besides that he is? Maybe have him watch some videos of the procedure being done and give him your reasons behind not doing the procedure
@mamabearcj he’s very traditional and thinks not getting him circumcised is just another one of my crazy hippie ideas. He’s afraid he’ll be teased for it and develop health/hygiene problems. He also wants it for religious reasons, we’re Christian but technically it’s in the Old Testament as part of the covenant with the Jews that he believes still pertains to us. I’ve shown him all the literature, I’ve had him ask several doctor’s, made him watch the procedure, but there’s no budging. It’s really important to him and is the norm in our circle, so it’s very hard to persuade otherwise. I’m still working on it, but it’s not worth our marriage so I'm considering it a battle lost for now.
@koala1107 my dh is uncircumcised and he wants son if we have one to be circumcised because he was teased. I am hoping to research more to see both sides. I do feel that kids will tease over anything so that shouldn't be the only reason to circumcise. I also feel uncircumcised is becoming more popular so hopefully he won't be the only one. It also bugs me that kids are all getting naked together but maybe that is an UO lol
DH has the penis, so I’m letting him decide. We haven’t gotten a clear shot of our LO’s sex, but they were leaning toward boy. We are trying the AS again at my appointment next month. Everyone in both of our families is circumcised, so DH is leaning toward having LO circumcised for that reason and cleanliness.
@koala1107 If part of it is religious and related to the Bible, you can inform him that the Biblical circumcision was symbolic and they didn't take the whole foreskin, only a small part. That was how Jesus would have been circumcised and it didn't change until hundreds of years later. And it was never the full foreskin until routine infant circumcision was introduced in the late 19th century.
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Wow, I am so impressed at the conversation in this thread. Thank you all for being awesome. And I’m glad I don’t have to make this decision until kid #2 (maybe).
DS was circumcised and this one will be if it's a boy. I did a lot of research before DS, so 2 years ago. Mostly it wasn't overly helpful because you can find pros and cons to both. I've known several who are/were uncut that either had issues or never did. And those who were circumcised that had issues or didn't. The most influential thing to me was a slightly higher rate of sti's/yeast infections in those uncut in 1st world countries. I also researched methods and pain management during, and decided which ones I would not do (most of those aren't frequently used now anyway.) Shared everything with H who learned towards it after info (no leaning before.) He agreed to go with DS and said it wasn't any big deal at all. He slept through it, but they did a nerve block too. His was the plastibell method which I like the best. I've also heard the least problems with that one as well. The pedi in the hospital did it, which I was also told was the smartest idea by several nurses when I was researching.
Again some of this may have changed as it was 2 years ago. But I feel if nothing else as if we've set a precedent now. Plus unless it radically changed most of the research leaves you up to your own decision anyway.
I'm also super impressed with how civil this conversation went. In my last BMB there were definitely those that were like "You're a monster if you circumisce, I don't care you're reasons" and "You're cruel if you don't, who cares about the science behind your decision." I love giving everyone access to real, legit reasons to circ or not circ, but at the end of the day you have to do whatever you're comfortable with.
@krzyriver exactly. The thing that makes me crazy, and the reason we’re still on the fence, is that it seems like there are *slight* risks of complications either way, and there’s no way to guess which is less likely to cause problems down the road.
I confirmed with my OB today that he does the procedure. He did my brother's and has been in practice for at least 30 years (because he delivered me and I'm 28). That made me feel better about it too. My mom said my brother's was fine. I trust him and his experience so I feel our chances of complications or botched procedures is less.
We found out that Squish is a boy today! So now I need to figure out who will be doing the circumcising. I’ll talk to my OB tomorrow since I’m with a new OB for this pregnancy and then my daughter has her 18 month check up next month so we’ll talk to our pediatrician as well.
My son is circumsized and ladies remember to keep pushing the skin around the head down. My son is almost 8 months and the doctor had to push the skin down really hard to expose the part of the head that started an adhesion. It started to get red so we took him to the ped and they pulled it down so hard he cried. We cleaned his stuff really good but because he has so much skin toward the shaft area is started to try and grow back around. Not a good thing. Its still a little red now a week after they pulled the skin back down.
From the other side of @momoflogan20’s point, make sure if you choose not to circumcise, you DO NOT retract the foreskin (and don’t let anyone else do it either, some doctors who aren’t familiar with intact boys don’t realize this). Pulling it back will cause pain and bleeding. The foreskin will naturally separate from the glans as boys get erections. They often don’t fully separate until adolescence.
We live in Seattle and while doing research for DS, I was surprised to learn that less than half of boys born here now are circumcised. We asked my OB about it and she said she wouldn't tell anyone to do it and they wouldn't even do it at the hospital after he was born and that I would have to find a pediatrician that would do it. After being on the fence either way, we ended up not doing it, mostly because it sounded like it wasn't an option anyway unless we pushed really hard to make it happen. He's 2 now and did have one infection around 8 months, but it cleared up quickly with ointment. We will do the same with DS2 when he is born. Talking to friends in the area it seems close to 50/50 of babies getting circumcised vs not, so I'm not concerned about any locker room teasing, seems like it's pretty normal these days...at least in my area.
have not researched how legit the info is on this site, but after @stephpl posting the rate is low in WA I was curious how different it is by state... https://www.mgmbill.org/statistics.html seeing the links on the left side of the page it seems the site is against circumcision so everyone is aware regard of their opinions
Michigan seems to be in the top 5, which explains why my doctor seemed confused when I inquired about not circumcising Z. Makes me feel better about the fact that I did it too, since my biggest concern was having a pedi who was not familiar with uncircumcised boys. I heard many horror stories about that.
We found out last week at the anatomy scan that we are indeed having a boy. Today at my checkup my doc asked if we had talked about whether or not we’ll circumcise. I told her we decided no, and she looked super relieved. She said it’s a cosmetic decision and that it’s decreasing in popularity. Her reaction made me feel really good about our decision!
All 4 of our boys are. If this one is a boy he will be too. I remember a few of my relatives having to get it done in high school due to infections or what not and they were literally in agony. I honestly think of circumcising as one of those parenting decisions that there will always be one person who will judge you or give their harsh opinions either way. So just do what’s best for your family and stick with the decision! I don’t really believe there is a right or wrong choice in this case.
We just found out we're having a boy... We had already discussed this in the hypothetical, but DH is Jewish and even though he's more agnostic these days, it's still important to him. I can respect that, so have agreed that we'll circumcise the little one.
have not researched how legit the info is on this site, but after @stephpl posting the rate is low in WA I was curious how different it is by state... https://www.mgmbill.org/statistics.html seeing the links on the left side of the page it seems the site is against circumcision so everyone is aware regard of their opinions
good lord. I mean nice to see the statistics, but their anti-circ ranting is a little extreme, and pretty embellished. I’m pretty sure objective studies have shown there’s no effect on sexual sensation.
What a polite discussion! We found out last week that we are having a boy so I brought up this topic with DH. He is 100% set on circumcising. I knew he would be, but I'm still not convinced. It's really good to read all of you saying your sons didn't have issues with the procedure. I will probably defer to DH at the end of the day because he is the one with the penis, so it definitely makes me feel better to hear that it's not such a big deal. I still plan to talk to our pediatrician about it though. I know the science and I would personally lean towards not fixing what isn't broken, but I have a feeling we will end up circumcising this boy because DH feels so strongly about it.
Re: The Circumcision Thread
Personally, all penises are ugly to me. I wouldn't say female genitalia are any prettier Lol but I definitely personally prefer circ ones if I "had to choose"
In having a girl this time so definitely no circumcision! My first is a boy and we chose not to circumcise him. My husband is not and felt very strongly about it so I was on board after he shared some resources with me. I had always been of the mind that I would do it, but some reading changed my mind. "Adam Ruins Everything" has an interesting video on the topic, you could probably find it on YouTube.
I know men and boys who are and who are not and everyone seems perfectly fine. I think either decision is a good decision if it's what you and your partner truly believe.
Funny video about the topic
I was waiting with the popcorn and have been so surprised!
If this one is a boy, we won't circ.
Our friends have their son circ, and it wasn't traumatic and he healed fast. We've never argued our choices and respected the other's choice.
I had an ex who wasn't circumcised, ended up having a lot of issues and got circumcised as an adult. Again just anecdotal but I remember it being a big deal for him. DH is circumcised so DS will definitely be circumcised. I didn't want to have to think about this either but it appears this baby has a Y chromosome so we had to have the talk.
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my dh is uncircumcised and he wants son if we have one to be circumcised because he was teased. I am hoping to research more to see both sides. I do feel that kids will tease over anything so that shouldn't be the only reason to circumcise. I also feel uncircumcised is becoming more popular so hopefully he won't be the only one. It also bugs me that kids are all getting naked together but maybe that is an UO lol
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That is all.
The most influential thing to me was a slightly higher rate of sti's/yeast infections in those uncut in 1st world countries. I also researched methods and pain management during, and decided which ones I would not do (most of those aren't frequently used now anyway.) Shared everything with H who learned towards it after info (no leaning before.) He agreed to go with DS and said it wasn't any big deal at all. He slept through it, but they did a nerve block too.
His was the plastibell method which I like the best. I've also heard the least problems with that one as well. The pedi in the hospital did it, which I was also told was the smartest idea by several nurses when I was researching.
Again some of this may have changed as it was 2 years ago. But I feel if nothing else as if we've set a precedent now. Plus unless it radically changed most of the research leaves you up to your own decision anyway.
seeing the links on the left side of the page it seems the site is against circumcision so everyone is aware regard of their opinions