Weekly Questions week of 5/13/18

rooonilwaazlib

@olivemomma Thank you for bringing this up...I was going to do a similar post.  I understand the difficulty of the position you're in.  Our two best friends are another lesbian couple who have been trying to get KO for over a year, and are probably moving onto IVF soon after a long battle with IUI and some bullsh** from health insurance companies.  They knew we were trying too, and that it's our fourth try that we most recently did.

I think what we'll do is send them a text saying something like: Hey, so we toyed with how to tell you this - we are pregnant!  I'm texting you rather than face-to-face telling you because as much as we know you'll be happy for us, I understand how it can be painful for you too.  We want to give you both the space to feel all your feelings, no pressure to put on a certain face if you're just not ready.  We love you both so much and hope to see you whenever you want to see us. xoxoxoxo

Not a final draft, but the general idea! Will soften but not over-fluff it because I feel like initially all they'll take from it is we're pregnant and they're not.  So why overdramatize it?

lulu1180

*dirty lurker*
@olivemomma I would definitely suggest texting her as PPs said so that she can react appropriately and also you aren't upset if her first reaction via phone isn't what you want it to be.  Also, I would suggest not telling her when you know she's at work so that she doesn't have to sit through the entire day trying not to lose it at work before she can go home and fall apart.

KariAnn323

@olivemama Please for the love of everything do not tell her in person or over the phone like some have suggested. I know that telling her via text feels cold and impersonal, but no matter how happy she is for you, she is going to be sad for herself. It's going to remind her that her body is failing her on a monthly basis. Give her the space to react how she needs to. Also please try to make sure she gets the text message while she's at home like some others have mentioned. Nothing's worse than having to sit at your office desk pretending everything is alright when all you want to do is curl up in bed and bawl your eyes out.

olivemomma

Thanks ladies! I think texting is definitely the way to go. Luckily she works from home so I don’t have to worry very much about surprising her at the office. I appreciate all of your thoughts.

texasmommie

Sooo... how much blood is considered too much "spotting". Just went to the bathroom, wiped, and a good amount of blood was on the toilet paper. It wasn't bright red like a period, but a lighter red/pink, and a good amount of it. I am on progesterone suppositories... and I've had the brownish discharge they said would be a side effect of the suppositories, but today is the first day I had this much blood spotting. Now I am getting nervous. 

olivemomma

@texasmommie are you cramping at all? If it’s not bright red, no cramping, and not filling a pad they say not to worry. However, always call your doc if you need to! They will either reassure you over the phone or bring you in for a quick check

texasmommie

@olivemomma Thanks.... I didnt want to jump the gun and call the doctor. Second time mom, you would think I would not be such a nervous wreck. I am monitoring it, and will call the doctor if it continues to be a large amount. I am cramping, but I take Metformin and that stuff kills my stomach sometimes, so I am sure it is just that. 

green_olive

@sweetyjenj Your comment just gave me such a perspective shift. Thank you for putting it in a way that speaks to the beauty of it all and the  intuitiveness of our bodies. Also very nice to hear that everything went back to normal not too log after. Will keep your words near during this transition! 

sweetyjenj

@green_olive I'm glad my thoughts could help! It was something that helped me early on, and even this time around I've had to remind myself. I think it's harder in this transition phase where our body is just starting to change, since mostly you look the same and don't have a big bump. Once you have a big belly it's a very easy reminder why our bodies have changed.

justaplainbagel

Has anyone had spotting? I just had some light brown discharge and have slight worry. I'm supposedly 6+1 today. 

melly-melly

@nottodaysatan I’m 5 weeks today and I think so far I’ve had 4 days without spotting. I had the same thing last pregnancy too. For me, it’s just a normal part of it. 

justaplainbagel

@melly-melly yeah I'm not too too worried, just slightly. I read that it could be placenta implantation or possibly the pelvic exam I had on Monday. I'll keep an eye on it the next few days. I'm going out of town tomorrow so I hope everything is normal lol.

CoastieGirl79

I am super nauseous and the smell of my prenatal vitamins makes me green. Just looking at them makes me want to hurl. I bought a chewable version that I can stomach but it has folate in them as opposed to folic acid. Any ladies getting their folic acid from sources other than prenatal vitamins, i.e. from food sources? 

beachmama14

@CoastieGirl79 Folate is actually the natural form of the vitamin and is preferable. You don’t need to also take folic acid  https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/folic-acid-vs-folate#section5

CoastieGirl79

@beachmama14 thank you! 

sweetyjenj

S+TM's: anyone else gaining weight faster this time around??

 I've been gaining a pound a week the last 3 weeks, but there's NO WAY I've eaten an excess of 3500 calories each week! I haven't changed my eating at all, I eat healthy, and I've been working out still. 

emmaaa

@sweetyjenj If I'm being honest, I haven't even weighed myself because I KNOW I'm gaining pretty fast. However, that's how it was for my pregnancy with DD as well. I gained all my weight during the first tri because It was all about survival based on what I could eat that was actually good. Once I started feeling better, I ate better, exercised, had more energy etc. I ended up losing weight during second tri and not gaining during my third.

BitterBetty12

@sweetyjenj I am gaining faster (I lost first tri with DD) but I'm attributing it to water weight!

gorgeousariel

@julesf817 I found out yesterday that I have a " larger than normal" SCH. I was cramping and bleeding so they brought me in for a viability scan. I have my regular appt. Scheduled for next Friday when he's going to do another scan to see the progress of the SCH. I was put on pelvic rest until next week ( at least). I am still bleeding but it has turned to brown spotting. If I'm still bleeding by next week ( 8+1) I will have to get the rhogam shot because I'm negative blood type. I'm praying everything works itself out and we all  have a healthy babies!  

luckymay2x

@julesf817 and @gorgeousariel - fingers crossed those SCH resolve themselves soon! It must be very stressful to be bleeding. My friend had a large SCH and bled a bit on and off her whole pregnancy, and she delivered a very healthy little boy right on time. But I remember how worried she was because of the bleeding