Baby shower dilemmas! — The Bump
Baby Showers

Baby shower dilemmas!

This shower subject has been making me nuts! We have a few dilemmas to work out. My husband and I decided we wanted to have a joint shower. 1) I feel weird about inviting my stiff relatives on my moms side who aren't party people to a more fun, laid back shower- could I just send them announcements with a registry link instead? 2) I don't have any friends, and his sisters/mom haven't offered to throw us one (my parents want nothing to do with this), so I'm not sure if we should just plan it ourselves. 3) Our house is decent but not laid out well for having more than a few people at a time, and we don't want to shell out any money to have this party somewhere else. If we decide to just have a regular party with friends, would I be able to say we just didn't have the space if anyone else asks about it? 4) Am I allowed to tell people we won't be opening any gifts in front of guests? I don't know anyone with a baby and have no idea how these things work!
dufferoo

Re: Baby shower dilemmas!

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  • I’m super confused about how you “don’t have any friends” but want to “have a regular party with friends.” 

    A shower is thrown for you by family or friends out of the kindness of their hearts (because as you mentioned, it costs $). If nobody offers, you don’t get one. You can hope your family and any “friends” that may or may not exist ask for registry info or buy you gifts just because, but please only offer registry info if someone asks. 
    Bringmemylongswordho
  • mud or not, i love this so much! op: just skip the shower, and save your bucks to shell out on diapers n onesies instead :)
    neverblushedwishiwaspreggo
  • Wow people are super harsh on here. I'd say skip the shower and send announcements once baby is born. Most likely people will want to send gifts once they receive the announcements anyway, but a formal shower may not be in the cards for u. 
  • kellig16 said: mo
    Wow people are super harsh on here. I'd say skip the shower and send announcements once baby is born. Most likely people will want to send gifts once they receive the announcements anyway, but a formal shower may not be in the cards for u. 
    Not harsh - reality.


  • Lark2013Lark2013
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    member
    edited July 8
    This is going to be a super UO and I'm late on the uptake here (like a year late), but this is something I see people dealing with now and will in the future, so here goes:

    1) I get not wanting to invite them, but you never know how people act in different situations until they are in them, so they may not be stiff at the shower.  And if they feel awkward about it, too, they won't come.  It's better to have them there and it be kinda odd than have the tension of them finding out they weren't invited.

    2) I don't get why people say you can't plan a shower for yourself.  As adults we put on our own birthday/holiday parties all the time and nobody thinks a thing about it.  A baby shower is no different, and especially if you are a FTM, people know that you need things and are generally more than happy to gift you those items.

    3) Having a small party sounds great if that's all the space you have.  You could also just have several smaller get-togethers, if you have the time.  Friends this weekend, stiff family the next, and so on.  If you do that, though, don't do it as a baby shower, per say - it's just a celebration of your growing family.  Depending on when you have your shower, you could do it in a park that has a covered pavilion to get everybody in at once.  You may have to pay to reserve the space, but it'll be cheaper than a formal venue.  

    4) I hate opening gifts in front of people - it's so awkward to have everybody intently looking at you while you ooh and aah, even if you are like "what's this?!?!".  If you don't want to open gifts in front of people, don't.  If somebody really wants to you to open theirs, do it privately, otherwise it will snowball.  I know it's expected that we open the gifts with everybody around, so if you feel you have to, make it a game.  Give everybody a blank bingo card and have them fill out what they think you will receive.  They can check off the items as you open them, and then it's more about the gifts and game than watching you.

    In summary, don't worry about what society says is supposed to happen or not.  It's your baby, your family, and  you have to do what you are comfortable with.  If people have an issue with it, they can either get over it or not participate.  Good luck!
    firsttimemomma83
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