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runrinserepeat

@PensiveCrayon and @coco2787 I *lived* on countdown to pregnancy for a week and a half, posting pics of my hpts, constantly checking to see what people had voted, and voting on other people’s tests. I was honestly mildly obsessed. Because, you know, whether internet strangers think my test is positive will totally make a difference in whether it really is or not. 

katy0990

@whitneyb89 Happy belated birthday!

whitneyb89

@katy0990 Thanks!

katy0990

This is dumb, but I’m too scared to add myself to the spreadsheet, even though I have been active on lots of the discussions. I feel like it will jinx me. Which I realize is 100% crazy and irrational.

morgantu

@katy0990 i totally get it- i havent added mine either. It feels so official. 

runrinserepeat

I haven’t added my info to the spreadsheet because... I don’t understand why?

whaat

The thought of going outside right now to play with my kid is already exhausting me. I literally don’t know how I’m going to do it.

breadit124

@runrinserepeat same here. I’m not opposed to it obviously but can someone explain the purpose of the spreadsheet?

tumbleweed-1

@runrinserepeat , @maebyemby I added my info to the spreadsheet because it’s fun for me to see who else is in the same boat as me: “due” the same day as me, also a FTM, my age, or lives in the same part of the US as me, and will be exciting to see who has babies assigned male and female later on. I personally think that kind of stuff is fun/interesting, but I don’t know if the spreadsheet serves a purpose beyond making those kinds of comparisons. 

maureenmce

I think (?) it's a holdover from when bmb's used to have due date buddies, but I'm not entirely sure that it has a real purpose now, other than just a place to see who's due when, etc. As @tumbleweed-1 said, I think it's fun to see who's due near me, but otherwise no big point of it (that I know of anyway.) 

runrinserepeat

eh, I feel like I just reference the tickers instead of having to check the spreadsheet all the time. Plus... we’re all due near each other. Near enough, anyway, if we’re all on this board

for real though, I just try not to share too much personal information on open forums like this, so uploading all my deets to a spreadsheet that anybody and their mom could open and read just isn’t my style. I figure if I interact with you all enough here, you’ll get to know me and won’t need a spreadsheet for info on me. And if I don’t, then putting it in a spreadsheet probably won’t matter much anyway. 

CecilB93

@runrinserepeat I know for me watching the tickers doesn't work, I only bump on mobile. I need to log into a computer and add a ticker I guess. Not even sure what my siggy looks like honestly, or if anything is even there lol

tumbleweed-1

@runrinserepeat fair enough on the stranger danger part. When I clicked on our dec 18 spreadsheet, it brought me to google docs & I realized that my old may 17 bmc spreadsheet was in there (clearly I don’t use google docs often). I opened it (just out of curiosity & to confirm what it was before deleting it) and I realized that since May 2017 was quite a while ago, most of the usernames included what each person goes by on Facebook! Which is usually real first and last names, so yikes.

I didn’t want access to that. I certainly don’t want any internet stranger to have access to that. I’m pretty sure anyone can come on tb and read what we write? Or do you have to have an account at least to see the month boards? I don’t remember. If some of us move to fb later on, let’s not add real names here if possible plz? I wouldn’t share half of what I have been if the “safe” feeling of anonymity didn’t come with my username. 

runrinserepeat

@tumbleweed-1 anyone can read what we write here. But posting it throughout threads as we talk and get to know each other would be a lot to keep up with for an internet stalker at least that’s the way my crazy mind rationalizes it. I just don’t want to do all the grunt work and hand every person who happens upon our board my life story. Make em work for it

CecilB93

@tumbleweed-1 when my March 16 board moved to FB we had one or two designated people that we would send a private message to on here with our email address and they'd send an invite to the private group on FB. I definitely think we can move to FB without revealing anything here when that time comes!

AGK2015

That's how we did it as well, CecilB93.  

@tumbleweed-1 maybe I'm just a bad person, but if that spreadsheet is still open for editing I would absolutely delete that column. Whatever use it was one has surely run its course by now, yikes.

mhobbes

I’m also afraid of the spreadsheet, both for privacy issues and because it sounds official! Today my sister in law gave me a gift for the baby, and I freaked out inside, because in my head it’s too soon (I’m 9 weeks). Hopefully in a few weeks I’ll be less scared! 

kadeephd

The spreadsheet doesn't really ask for much personal information imo.  I've revealed way more in single posts, like the introduction post.  I like looking at where people are from and who is due near me, but I don't see a purpose beyond that.

Gwyneddlesliegrace

Since FB group came up, I highly recommend NOT making one until babies are about 6 months old. That will weed out a lot of the crazies and at that point, whoever is left will have a nice, small, solid group.

maureenmce

@Gwyneddlesliegrace If I'm remembering correctly that is almost exactly when my J16 Facebook group started and the timing was awesome. We have an awesome group and no crazies/catfishers/etc!

CecilB93

I think we started one around 7 months pregnant with my last BMB. We've removed a few people for lack of participation, but otherwise no crazies! I'll go with whatever the consensus is of course, but just wanted to throw out that we did it before birth and were fine.

mckcak23

My last bmb we created a private group here on the bump for the regular users at like 5 months so that we could get to know one another better without fearing the public seeing what we write but still maintaining our real identification .then we moved to FB right as babies were born. I like the private group to get to know one another better before dropping all of our guard. 

PensiveCrayon

In my BMB one was created early on but it was kind of crappy and the cool regs had too much stranger danger to go over. Then fairly shortly after all the babes were born (maybe a month or two) we all made the migration to a new group. It’s been smooth sailing since then. 

whaat

N16 made a fb group about a month before the babies were born. I resisted for awhile but the format is so much better and more conducive to conversation. We weeded out the last crazies when the kids were about 6 months but I don’t regret moving to fb “early”. We were past the point of people pretending they had medical issues so that we’d send money. These were just people who loved somewhat harmless drama.
I do hate TB so I’m just hoping I can make it to the fb group.

AGK2015

I feel like only the very most dedicated crazies would be willing to move over to FB (it's one thing to have an anonymous online identity, and another thing entirely to have to fake a real life one), and they're not the sort of people who are going to be discouraged no matter when you make the jump.

A16 started a FB group early (like, in the first few months) that I believe grew pretty large, but the regulars migrated into a smaller group at about 7/8 months. It was only ever mentioned on the Randoms thread (this was back when randoms was just one looooooooong thread that ran through the entire pregnancy, so by that time casual visitors to the board weren't bothering to read it) and it was a "message X or Y if you want the invite" thing. We started with I think 33, culled to 30 pretty quickly because of inactivity, and are down to 28 now (one drama llama, one for whom it just wasn't a good fit anymore). It's definitely a better format for discussion, and it was nice to have a group of women who were (a) just as eager to post 80000 newborn pictures per day as I was (something I wouldn't do on my main facebook timeline, and definitely not something I'd ever do in a public forum like this) and (b) ready to chat all day and allllllll night throughout our collective maternity leave about things that were a lot more private than we'd necessarily get on here. 

maureenmce

I liked when my old BMB did it, but I have no exact timeline preference as far as the facebook jump here, though I think at least somewhere in the third tri would be good, so we have a chance to get to know each other pretty well first. (Not so much for fear of catfishers/weirdos, just because it would be nice to be a pretty tight knit group when we make the switch!)

And @AGK2015 - I LOVE that you can post so many more baby pics than you'd feel comfortable posting on your own feed. We still do a photo of the day sometimes in my old BMB and it's so fun to watch everyone's babies grow up.

PensiveCrayon

@AGK2015 Totally agreed on the baby pic thing. I hate being that mom on social media, so I tend to avoid posting many pictures of A, but it's been great to watch our kiddos growing up on the D16 Facebook group. We even have themed threads like Meltdown Monday that are fun to participate in.

Also I love that we're discussing this as when it's going to happen rather than if it's going to happen. It's really an inevitable switch. Thanks for connecting us all, Bump, but the mass migration to a more private space is the next logical step.

Luthy

I don't even remember when the official group for my daughter moved to fb, but about 40 of us made a smaller one when we were about 7 months pregnant. Five years on we're down to 37 now (there was definitely some drama) I think but it's been pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me. We've all hung out with each other in real life now and are all pretty much besties. It's great. We got really lucky.

orangecrush29

ohhhh I love the idea of a FB group... am I cool enough to join in? My due date club from my middle son's pregnancy 9 years ago made a facebook page after the babies were born and we still have it and are all so close! 

also, add me to the list of the wine drinking club. I had glass at dinner this past weekend with my girlfriends.  . Why is it I'm totally ok with drinking wine occasionally but I'm terrified to eat sushi? I want it SO bad!

PensiveCrayon

@orangecrush29 stick around for the next 9ish months and I’m sure you’ll make the cut!

pickle-chips

Oh man, the Facebook threads on my last bmb were my fave. It would usually be a random drive-by and then all kinds of people would emerge from obscurity asking to join. As if they had some kind of Facebook thread early warning system.


We did migrate to Facebook after the babies were born, but it was not without a touch of drama. 

wickedtiny

oops, replied to the wrong post and I can't delete .. only edit.    

Ok so I'll add mine then .... Uh early on I put a few quirts of wine, from a boxed wine, into my seltzer.  I also ate sushi.  I imagine if heaven had a taste it would be exactly what that wine and the sushi tasted like.

krob

@ay-eff LOL a touch??? I think no matter how vigilant we are or when we ever decide to do it there will be either a weirdo or drama. 

Our last BMB was pretty viligant about waiting to start the group and being very selective on who was “allowed” to join and still DRAMA. at least it was entertaining 

PensiveCrayon

We haven’t had any drama on ours! But we were always a super chill BMB. 

wickedtiny

Speaking of groups ... My June 2007 BMB originally started on FF; we eventually moved to a private SMF board that was admin'd by one of our members and moderated by a few of us others.  Now we're all in a private FB group; our June 2007 "babies" are turning 11 soon, and we have annual meet-ups.  Our last big meet-up was in SC, last summer, and we had one June '07 Mom come all the way from Australia. The year prior we met at Disney and a few of us ran the Princess Half Marathon. (We never even bring our kids, not even to Disney! ha)

wickedtiny

We've definitely had some drama over the years ... but it's par for the course, having so many women in a group like this.

katy0990

@wickedtiny That’s awesome that you are all so close!

coybig

The two FB groups I've been a part of seem to be opposite ends of the spectrum.  The more recent one had some early blow ups because there's always a few that hold the crazy in until the migration, but now there is very little drama.  The first one however, was drama central.  As soon as one episode would finally die down, the next would flare right up and be even bigger.  It's still going, but I bailed after about two years.

echo-charlietango

I wish DH would let me drink a tiny bit! Luckily he's being a sober sally with me, so that's easier. I was really hoping that being pg was going to turn off my love of booze -it hasn't. Last weekend at a wedding DH grabbed our champagne for the toast...and drank half of mine before handing it to me. I only got like two ounces of champagne I think I'm going to sneak a GLASS of wine when I'm out of town next week. Just one.

tumbleweed-1

I’m so confused why there is drama in the fb groups? (Multiple groups, like it’s a reoccurring issue) Who gets off on that? I can’t imagine having the emotional capacity to start and maintain drama for fun.
Is it “benign” drama- like just a sensitive mom or two who try to control the fb discussion and don’t take criticism well, or is it the mean, rumor spreading type? Just trying to wrap my head around the whole concept.