December 2018 Moms

First appointment later than I thought...

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Re: First appointment later than I thought...

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  • To branch off of @maureenmce's comment...if you have a question or something for the symptom thread that you just have to get typed right now but don't have a ton of time to chat, you don't have to read the whole post and all previous comments before you can post. Just make your comment, then come back later. If you want to go back and read others comments, do it. Or not. We tag people in comments so it's easier to know "oh, this comment pertains to my question" or "oh, this isn't for me, I can skip it". I agree, I don't understand the excuse of "no time" for structure. 
    DS1 born 2/28/16
    DS2 due 12/12/18

  • @CecilB93 Excellent point! Thanks for explaining that!

    And @PensiveCrayon (and @runrinserepeat and anyone else who wants to) please snark away! I love snark and want to see more of it here! I'm just bad at it, haha. :)
  • @PensiveCrayon I'm actually LOL'ing that you have an AE! 
  • I’ll cast one more vote for slightly less structure. I’ve never understood the argument about organization limiting repeat questions. If anything, drive bys are more likely to scroll the headlines of the last few posts and see their question addressed than find it digging through old week-long question threads. So you get drive by repeat questions either way. And I do find it hard to follow the eight page long threads at times. It’s hard to tell who’s responding to what question, especially on a small phone screen. 

    I’ll also say say even though drive bys are annoying, the dog pile that always seems to greet them (on the bump in general, not this board which is so new) has always had a tinge of cliquey-ness to me. But I understand it’s a fine line between being cliquey and just wanting to form a community and finding that balance is tough. 

    Anyway, not my revolution and I’m happy to conform with whatever the culture is. 
  • Back in the day, there used to be no BMBs. Now that was CHAOS and repetitive. It also wasn't for the faint of heart. Spell a baby name wrong? You'd get 60 responses on how you were illiterate. Vent about family drama? You'd get 100 responses on how you were the problem with zero empathy. (That happened to me. I cried. I was wrong, but 20 and pregnant with all sorts of emotions.)

    The BMBs really helped to reduce a lot of that and then it was a board by board basis. However, a lot happened when members were mods/admins and there was a lot of fall out there. I also know there have been a few times when long time members had a mass exodus and that helped remove the drama and snark, but a piece of TB left when they did. Needless to say, there IS blood on the walls (pun totally intended.) 

    I'm not against structured posts at all. Especially right now when many will make one post and ghost on us for the rest of the time. But I do think as time goes on and the board unifies, it is okay to have some flexibility. I know I said it before, but my 6/11 group was a unicorn and amazing. There is still about 150 of us that chat daily. We've been through so much with pretty minimal drama and that community can be possible and is worth it! 

    DD1 | Jan 2009
    DD2 | June 2011
    DS1 | Oct 2013
       ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
    DS2 | June 2016
    DS3 | Dec 2018

    Due with baby blob August 2021


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • texas_t said:
    The issue isn't as much people posting a singular repetitive question as much as it's their response when someone kindly directs them to maybe post in a thread already referencing that subject.  
    Totally agree. 

    DD1 | Jan 2009
    DD2 | June 2011
    DS1 | Oct 2013
       ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
    DS2 | June 2016
    DS3 | Dec 2018

    Due with baby blob August 2021


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • edited April 2018
    My A15 board was about 300 snarky women and we all absolutely loved it. Honestly it was all in good fun and when all our babies were born we made a FB page and still talk shit to eachother. 
    Always hold on to hope ❤
  • nurse_goodnurse_good member
    edited April 2018
    I will address that many of these comments are directed at me, and that’s fine.  I stand by my response to someone I felt was condescending and inconsiderate, even if she was trying to answer my question in the process.  And so many of you can tell me “oh it wasn’t meant that way...so and so is awesome and great...” but trying to tell someone else how they should feel is like a rocking chair (gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere).

    Again, I am new here.  Unlike many of you (it seems), not only am new to being pregnant, but am new to the bump.  I will continue to read posts and comment when I feel like it is warranted, but I feel like from the get-go I didn’t get a feeling of “community” like you are all preaching.  Maybe it’s my lack of time here or maybe it’s because you are all a little more of a clique than you want to see.  All I truly know is my own perspective and that’s what I’m seeing/feeling.

    I’m sure you’re all lovely, kind people in the real world, I’d like to think so anyway.

    I’ll keep doing me, you keep doing you.  But again, being a newbie, these boards (let alone being pregnant for the first time) can be scary, exciting, and completely overwhelming.  I’ll try to better navigate the boards without stepping on so many people’s toes.  
  • maureenmcemaureenmce member
    edited April 2018
    @Gwyneddlesliegrace Wow! The pre BMB days sound crazy! I mean, I'm 37, so I am probably too old for that kind of chaos or drama, but I don't think that's what you're advocating - you just want things to loosen up a bit after we have our core group and people have been posting a couple months, right? I think that will totally happen naturally! Also, for what it's worth, my very non drama J16 group is also still very close and keeps in touch on Facebook daily as well. I don't think there's any one right way to build a community that's close - I think we just talk it out and see what balance ends up being right for our group of ladies. :)

    Also, for you and the other people who want a bit less structure - what do you really want to be posting that you feel like you can't in our current structure? I find this confusing because I feel like everything I want to post either fits in one of the threads we have, or I could start a post about it because it would apply to more than just me. But I definitely could be missing something, or maybe I'm just so used to the structure I don't see it - so tell me, what's holding you guys back and what do you want to be posting that you feel like you can't?
  • With my first two pregnancies I had ultrasounds between 5-6 weeks, but things have changed with the office now and with this one my first u/s isn't until 8 weeks 4 days. The wait is so hard, but I am glad the baby will look more like a "baby" when I see it and less like a little speck.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @Gwyneddlesliegrace Wow! The pre BMB days sound crazy! I mean, I'm 37, so I am probably too old for that kind of chaos or drama, but I don't think that's what you're advocating - you just want things to loosen up a bit after we have our core group and people have been posting a couple months, right? I think that will totally happen naturally! Also, for what it's worth, my very non drama J16 group is also still very close and keeps in touch on Facebook daily as well. I don't think there's any one right way to build a community that's close - I think we just talk it out and see what balance ends up being right for our group of ladies. :)

    Also, for you and the other people who want a bit less structure - what do you really want to be posting that you feel like you can't in our current structure? I find this confusing because I feel like everything I want to post either fits in one of the threads we have, or I could start a post about it because it would apply to more than just me. But I definitely could be missing something, or maybe I'm just so used to the structure I don't see it - so tell me, what's holding you guys back and what do you want to be posting that you feel like you can't?

    @maureenmce, I am  pretty sure I was in that BMB for a hot minute. 

    I am so not advocating for drama, though it did provide entertainment during a boring work day! I guess I all I am saying is that if my dog dies, I might want to make a post about it and not feel like I have broken "rules" because it's not posted in the right place. 

    I don't think it needs to be this deep or complicated. I love BMB to begin with and will adapt my "back in the good ol' days" ways. 

    DD1 | Jan 2009
    DD2 | June 2011
    DS1 | Oct 2013
       ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
    DS2 | June 2016
    DS3 | Dec 2018

    Due with baby blob August 2021


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • With my first two pregnancies I had ultrasounds between 5-6 weeks, but things have changed with the office now and with this one my first u/s isn't until 8 weeks 4 days. The wait is so hard, but I am glad the baby will look more like a "baby" when I see it and less like a little speck.
    Thank you for the input!  I didn’t really know what to expect, I guess I just assumed I’d see somebody before they are saying I will.  I’m counting down the minutes until my ultrasound at 8 weeks.  I think seeing (and hopefully hearing) something will make it all click that I am really pregnant.  
  • @maureenmce, I am  pretty sure I was in that BMB for a hot minute. 

    I am so not advocating for drama, though it did provide entertainment during a boring work day! I guess I all I am saying is that if my dog dies, I might want to make a post about it and not feel like I have broken "rules" because it's not posted in the right place. 

    I don't think it needs to be this deep or complicated. I love BMB to begin with and will adapt my "back in the good ol' days" ways. 
    Ah, I see. Totally get it and I do think that things will relax a bit once we're all here and have been posting for a few weeks and we get to know each other. I'm already getting to know people who are regulars and that's awesome. And once we all know each other better, (or honestly, even now!) I really, really doubt that anyone would snark on or redirect a post of a regular poster sharing a thread that her dog died or something that someone felt they really needed to talk about or get support on. (I could be wrong, but everyone seems pretty cool and understanding here so far.)
  • edited April 2018
    @nurse_goodEveryone was new once. It was intimidating when I made my first post on the nest and got my ass handed to me. Stick around, contribute in the regular posts, and you'll start to see the community that the rest of us are talking about. 

    also, I'll be over here jealous about your 8 week ultrasound. My first appointment is at 8 weeks, but I won't be getting an ultrasound until 20 weeks, so at least there's that! 
    Pass the sheet cake.

    BabyGaga
  • @maureenmce (just speaking for myself) it’s not so much that the structure limits me personally from posting new topics, it’s that I can’t really tell whether I have something helpful or interesting to say in existing discussions because so much content is hidden deep in threads.

    For instance, I appreciated the STM to FTM thread because I could tell right away that was one where I might have something to say/add since I am a STM. I just wouldn’t mind more topic-specific threads.

    But again that’s just me and I can tell it’s not the culture which is totally fine!
  • @maureenmce, I am  pretty sure I was in that BMB for a hot minute. 

    I am so not advocating for drama, though it did provide entertainment during a boring work day! I guess I all I am saying is that if my dog dies, I might want to make a post about it and not feel like I have broken "rules" because it's not posted in the right place. 

    I don't think it needs to be this deep or complicated. I love BMB to begin with and will adapt my "back in the good ol' days" ways. 
    Ah, I see. Totally get it and I do think that things will relax a bit once we're all here and have been posting for a few weeks and we get to know each other. I'm already getting to know people who are regulars and that's awesome. And once we all know each other better, (or honestly, even now!) I really, really doubt that anyone would snark on or redirect a post of a regular poster sharing a thread that her dog died or something that someone felt they really needed to talk about or get support on. (I could be wrong, but everyone seems pretty cool and understanding here so far.)
    Oh! My old BMB does "bat signals" sometimes if we're ever in quick need of advice or if we're super upset about something. Maybe we could agree on something like that for here? I think something like a dog dying is big enough to warrant its own thread, I know when we put mine down I was super upset and still crying for days after. I don't want people feeling like they can't post a new thread, but also we don't need 5 new posts in one day regarding "Is this normal???" when it's literally one of the most "normal" (if you can ever use that in regards to pregnancy...) or common things that happens. (Also, not attacking anyone at all with this example, it was the first repeat topic that popped in my head)
    DS1 born 2/28/16
    DS2 due 12/12/18

  • @maebyemby Gotcha. I do think as we continue to post here, and as we move further along in our pregnancies, there will for sure be many more specific threads! I think we're still in the getting to know everyone, everyone getting to know the board phase for now. I know with my J16 BMB (and even the A18 BMB that I was briefly a part of) as our pregnancies progress things get more focused/specific and they get more personal, because everyone knows each other better.
  • @kristah2 : I have never said “I hate you”, I feel like that would be childish.  I don’t even know you.  I don’t know that I hate anyone.  Except Hitler.  That dude was pretty bad.  Trump ranks pretty high on my possible hate list as well.  But I digress.  

    I feel like we are all beating a dead horse.  I don’t really like talking in circles.  I feel one way, which I’m entitled to, and one or more of you feel another.  It is what it is and I don’t feel like there’s a point in continuing to moan about it.  I made may peace a long time ago with not being liked by everyone I encounter.

    I’d love to move on.  I tried commenting on a response geared towards my original post and somehow the thread moved back in this direction.

    So again, no hard feelings towards anyone.  We’re all adults and we’re all pregnant adults which makes controlling our emotions a little more difficult.  

    I wish nothing but peace and happiness to everyone in this group. 

    I’m really hoping this point can be moot now.
  • Wow, things have changed since I was last on here. I'm old school. We were a Real Couple back in 2005 and I left the boards after my first kiddo b/c who had time to be on here with 2 under 2.  Forget it, I'm sticking to my trail running boards. I can't deal with all these insane rules.
  • What is a Real Couple?

    DD1 | Jan 2009
    DD2 | June 2011
    DS1 | Oct 2013
       ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
    DS2 | June 2016
    DS3 | Dec 2018

    Due with baby blob August 2021


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Oh nooooooo! Don’t leave!

    **June Siggy Challenge - P.I.L.Fs**
    httpsstaticboredpandacomblogwp-contentuploads201702best-dad-ever-chris-hemsworth-thor-589aec291b80c__700jpg
  • Does it make me a drame queen if these posts give me LIFE.....ok disappearing back into the shadows
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