So I found out I’m knocked up over the weekend. I’m super excited and based on my last period, I’m 4 weeks and 3 days.
I talked to my OB’s nurse today and she said that she wouldn’t see me for my first appointment until I’m 9 weeks and that my OB typically doesn’t see new moms until 12 weeks. She scheduled an ultrasound during my 8th week. But that’s it.
I’m a little disappointed that I have to wait so long. I’m only 4 weeks, and although I’m starting to have some symptoms (fatigue, increased urination) I just don’t “feel” like it’s really real yet. I’m just anxious and impatient to get started.
Anyone else dealing with or dealt with this kind of frustration before?
It's common. I don't have my first appointment until 10+2 and I don't have an ultrasound until week 18-20. Trust your OB knows what they are doing. Most of the ladies who have a million appointments right off the hop are because they have a history of loss or they are high risk. Count your blessings that your OB does not put you in that category.
ETA: if you want support / want to stick around, considering introducing yourself in the introduction thread pinned at the top. Then you can jump in and post these type thoughts in weekly randoms, weekly questions or weekly appointments thread.
With both of my former pregnancies they didn't want to see me until between 8 and 12 weeks. They recently went through some changes in their office so when I called this last time they said I needed to be at least 6 weeks which seemed weird to me. However, all they did was a urine culture and paperwork. Really there won't be much to see or do before the 8w mark which is why I think so many offices have you wait. It's definitely frustrating but they'd rather you wait than go in so early and not detect a heartbeat yet or not be able to see it well and have expectant moms freak out for another 4 weeks. That's what they told me anyways.
Very common. My DR won’t see anyone until they’re 8/9 weeks. They’ll do the ultrasound and blood work then. Then you usually go monthly after that until you reach a certain point.
We have a planned parenthood type non profit agency that does ultrasounds if you schedule them and another company that does ultrasounds for a cost that some people choose to do.
Editted for spelling
Me (28), H (30) Together Since 04/21/2009; Married Since 05/29/2013
This is my 5th pregnancy. All medical offices have their own time frame for everything. But for my doctor's office it has always worked like this in the beginning - 1st appointment which includes ultrasound is at 8-9 weeks pregnant. Then a 12 week appointment with ultrasound. At 14 weeks I pay around $100 to find out the sex of the baby from an ultrasound place that is not related to my doctor's office. 16 week appointment sometimes with ultrasound. 20 week appointment and anatomy scan (where they count all fingers and toes etc. and you can find out sex).
Bobby Llewellyn born September 29, 2012 Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015 MC in February 2017 MC in November 2017 Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
I apologize in advance for how I’m about to respond to you. I’m not normally the type of person who would even say anything back, but I took your reply personally and you came off as rude and condescending. Maybe you don’t realize that’s how you came off. Maybe it wasn’t your intention. But regardless, I posted looking for insight from people in a similar situation, not judgement from a complete stranger.
I DO trust that my OB knows what he’s doing. I have just read others posts about seeing their OB sooner than what I was told. At least for blood work, or to confirm the pregnancy.
And I AM counting my blessings, 1. Because I was able to get pregnant at all, 2. Because I am relatively healthy overall and am hoping for a healthy pregnancy as well. Please don’t tell me to “count my blessings” because you don’t know me and you have no idea what my conception journey has been.
And I DID post in the introduction thread...yesterday. I’m sorry you missed it. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel the need to post a passive aggressive response to a person you don’t even know. I didn’t realize I needed to follow a certain set of rules before posting a question. Good thing you’re around to set people straight and tell them what to do.
Thank you everyone else for you helpful replies. I will try not to stress too much until my first appointment. I’m just excited and 4 weeks is a long time to wait!
I apologize in advance for how I’m about to respond to you. I’m not normally the type of person who would even say anything back, but I took your reply personally and you came off as rude and condescending. Maybe you don’t realize that’s how you came off. Maybe it wasn’t your intention. But regardless, I posted looking for insight from people in a similar situation, not judgement from a complete stranger.
I DO trust that my OB knows what he’s doing. I have just read others posts about seeing their OB sooner than what I was told. At least for blood work, or to confirm the pregnancy.
And I AM counting my blessings, 1. Because I was able to get pregnant at all, 2. Because I am relatively healthy overall and am hoping for a healthy pregnancy as well. Please don’t tell me to “count my blessings” because you don’t know me and you have no idea what my conception journey has been.
And I DID post in the introduction thread...yesterday. I’m sorry you missed it. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel the need to post a passive aggressive response to a person you don’t even know. I didn’t realize I needed to follow a certain set of rules before posting a question. Good thing you’re around to set people straight and tell them what to do.
Hi there @nurse_good ! I think maybe @kristah2 (who is awesome and a long time poster!) assumed you hadn't posted on the intro page because usually when people post there they also read the "Read This First" thread that sort of explains how the board is set up and all the different threads we have. The December board is less strict than others with organization, but we do still tend to try to funnel questions like this into the weekly Question thread, otherwise the board would be incredibly clogged up with one off posts from everyone. (We have a lot of December ladies! If we all posted threads for random things, it'd be pretty crazy!)
In addition to the weekly Questions thread, we have Symptoms, Appointments and Randoms (which is kind of a catch all for things that don't fit in the other threads, plus a fun way to get to know everyone as they post little bits about their daily lives.) We also have a bunch of great weekly threads like PGAL (pregnant after a loss) and FTM or STM check ins. If you haven't already, it would be good to read the Read This First thread (it's pinned toward the top) to find all the places to post and connect with everyone.
Sorry if you were upset by Kristah's post and that you found it condescending, but I think if you re-read your reply you'll see that your reply was pretty hurtful. I'm glad you're here and you're excited! But maybe it would be good to take a breath and reengage in a more positive way. (Not meaning this to be condescending - I am 100% being genuine here.) Hope this helps and is taken in the positive way it was meant!
People like @kristah2 put in a lot of effort to keep these boards orderly. There are a lot of people who come in and post before reading the Read This thread that@maureenmce mentioned, and it just gets frustrating for those of us who are following the structure.
We are THRILLED for everyone here, but everyone could enjoy it more if we were all considerate of the forum.
Congratulations on your BFP and I hope the next few weeks fly by for you!
@nurse_good I don’t think @kristah2 was being rude. She was just giving her perspective on how appointments work, and I think she answered your question from her experience. As you said, some people are having earlier appointments, and as she pointed out many of those are due to complications, which of course thank goodness you (hopefully) have not experienced. No one is trying to alienate anyone else or make you feel unwelcome. However, as @maureenmce explained thoroughly, this board is organized a certain way with reason. Many of us are here for the long haul (God willing) and are trying to build a true community of support, which in most cases does include following the general “rules” (for lack of a better word). I do hope you stick around, and give and get support for these next months. I think we can all use it!
Thank you for your response. I didn’t realize there were so many rules for the message boards. I am new to all of this and just found out on Saturday that I am pregnant. I have never been pregnant before and a friend told me to use this app because I’d find support and help with any worries and questions. I will re-read the intro thread and try to only post where appropriate from now on.
I realize my response to @kristah2 could have come off hurtful, but I was pissed off and annoyed by her less than helpful response to my post. I truly don’t ever even respond to people like that, but she genuinely rubbed me the wrong way and I felt I should say something.
I consider myself a very positive and upbeat person and I felt like she was trying to “put me in my place” rather than try to be genuinely helpful.
@nurse_good sorry you found my response so rude. I didn’t mean to come across as such. I had given you my experience with my appointment dates from both of my pregnancies. And since I remember feeling the same way as you during my first pregnancy (when I wasn’t seen until 8 weeks and only had an ultrasound at 10 weeks that time due to severe pain) I thought I would clarify as to why so many of the women on this group do have appointments and ultrasounds earlier in pregnancy. So I gave my shared my experience and some facts on early appointments, thinking I answered your question. But instead I rubbed you the wrong way. Sorry I missed your intro and sorry I pissed you off. But also be aware your response was very rude (on purpose). That said, we don’t have to be friends.
One more word of welcome to you, @nurse_good Glad you’re here! It took me a minute to really lurk and figure out how things run around here. Hope you’ll stick around and hope your first few weeks fly by. Another word of support to @kristah2 It’s hard too read tone through text, but I assure you kristah2 did not mean it the way you took it. Stick around and you’ll find out she’s pretty awesome.
Thanks for the welcome! I don’t know that I will stick around honestly, because I haven’t felt welcomed. If I do keep this app, will probably lurk more and post less.
Thanks again for the kind words. I hope your pregnancy is going well, too.
Thanks for the welcome! I don’t know that I will stick around honestly, because I haven’t felt welcomed. If I do keep this app, will probably lurk more and post less.
Thanks again for the kind words. I hope your pregnancy is going well, too.
I wouldn’t blame you for just lurking. These boards are so uptight now it is kind of off-putting. Also I guess I’m old school and don’t mind one off questions (so long as people search their question first in the group) because I don’t want to read 637 questions in one thread.
Also I guess I’m old school and don’t mind one off questions (so long as people search their question first in the group) because I don’t want to read 637 questions in one thread.
@hazeldagarr That used to be the policy on my old bmb but you would be shocked at how like, 90% of people didn't search first. And yes, I get that the questions thread can get overwhelming (maybe it's better to do more than one per week like we do with randoms? One on the weekend and one through the week?) but it also gets super irritating to read the 5th thread about someone having a UTI or the 3 millionth thread on what type of stroller to get. But everyone's different w preferences! Oddly, I think this board is probably one of the most laid back and friendly on the whole site these days! But your mileage may vary.
@good_nurse You're welcome! And whether or not you decide to contribute or not (I hope you do!) just want to point out that multiple people actually bent over backwards to be nice and welcoming to you and explain the rules of the board, even after a rough start. I mean, no one can make you feel welcome if you don't, but multiple people certainly tried!
@maureenmce I think one question thread a week is plenty. I'd rather answer the same question multiple times within that thread than have to keep up with another new thread.
Not to keep this going too long...but...I think the whole idea of these boards is to help build community, not just a place to drive by with your questions to a group of strangers. So keeping up with 637 questions in one thread is kind of the point. You don’t just use the community; you contribute, too. It’s give and take. If any of that makes sense? Again, not trying to build drama here. Just throwing in my two cents.
Thanks for the welcome! I don’t know that I will stick around honestly, because I haven’t felt welcomed. If I do keep this app, will probably lurk more and post less.
Thanks again for the kind words. I hope your pregnancy is going well, too.
I wouldn’t blame you for just lurking. These boards are so uptight now it is kind of off-putting. Also I guess I’m old school and don’t mind one off questions (so long as people search their question first in the group) because I don’t want to read 637 questions in one thread.
I’ve been a member of TB for 10+ years and have never had a board with restrictions like this. Although, I know a few years ago there was a big overhaul. I do miss the random posts and not having to scroll threw 8 pages on the same post.
DD1 | Jan 2009 DD2 | June 2011 DS1 | Oct 2013 ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001) DS2 | June 2016 DS3 | Dec 2018
Not to keep this going too long...but...I think the whole idea of these boards is to help build community, not just a place to drive by with your questions to a group of strangers. So keeping up with 637 questions in one thread is kind of the point. You don’t just use the community; you contribute, too. It’s give and take. If any of that makes sense? Again, not trying to build drama here. Just throwing in my two cents.
There’s been literal years of single posts like this with amazing community...
DD1 | Jan 2009 DD2 | June 2011 DS1 | Oct 2013 ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001) DS2 | June 2016 DS3 | Dec 2018
Yeah and years ago, attitude from drive bys like this to someone like Kristah, who’s been participating regularly, would have taken a lot more heat. God I miss the snark.
I get it. I’ve been around for a long time too and I bitched about this a few weeks ago. But then I decided that I’d go with the flow or gtfo.
And I have to agree with @littlewhitecottage on her point about give and take. If you don’t want to read through the questions the rest of us have had, why would we want to read your question?
Agreed. I was on here 3 years ago for my son and loved the bump community. I looked at my birth month board religiously for my whole pregnancy and a year after. These rules seem too uptight and confusing. I don't live my life on these boards but I like to pop in when I have a few minutes to spare to connect with other mommas.
This isn’t directed at any one person, but I guess I don’t get what’s so bad about things being organized. I think it’s way easier to just follow one thread of questions than to scroll through pages and pages of individuals asking/complaining/starting topics about the same stuff over and over again. I think it’s essier to carry a conversation with multiple people this way. I also think it’s nice to have the more individualistic threads like pgal to connect with moms who are going through the same thing as you and check in on those people weekly, daily, whatever.
I agree with you, @rosebud332. I am totally new to The Bump and have found the organization to be incredibly helpful, and not the least bit uptight, rigid, confusing, or any of the other negative adjectives people have thrown out. Like most of life, rules generally exist for a reason (although there are always exceptions). I cannot imagine the chaos if everyone started their own thread for every little question. Funneling everyone to the same thread helps everyone get to know each other and helps build a community. Plus, it's just more effective. You are likely going to get more answers by joining one thread that everyone is already following, rather than everyone starting hundreds of individual threads.
I mean. I guess we could go back to the way things used to be and let people post where ever and when ever they want and all of us the enjoy spending time on here actually talking about pregnancy stuff can spend our time reanswering the same question eleventy billion times. Sounds like a blast.
This isn’t directed at any one person, but I guess I don’t get what’s so bad about things being organized. I think it’s way easier to just follow one thread of questions than to scroll through pages and pages of individuals asking/complaining/starting topics about the same stuff over and over again. I think it’s essier to carry a conversation with multiple people this way. I also think it’s nice to have the more individualistic threads like pgal to connect with moms who are going through the same thing as you and check in on those people weekly, daily, whatever.
OK so for me, it's kind of the equivalent to being at a party. And someone in the living room starts talking about politics, when the host rushes over and says, "Oh, NO! We don't talk about politics in the LIVING ROOM! That's a KITCHEN conversation. Please make your way to the kitchen"
Generally, conversations are more organic than structured the way the forums try to make them these days. And I'll admit I have been having a hard time keeping the Randoms, Questions, and Symptoms threads all straight. But.... it's also really not that difficult to adjust, because typing up discussions and responses IS more structured than just blurting out whatever is on your mind. I guess I never had a problem with the way it was before, but if someone decided to make a change, they must have had their reasons. And it seemed worthwhile to me to give it a shot instead of dismissing the board as uptight and rigid out of hand.
OK so for me, it's kind of the equivalent to being at a party. And someone in the living room starts talking about politics, when the host rushes over and says, "Oh, NO! We don't talk about politics in the LIVING ROOM! That's a KITCHEN conversation. Please make your way to the kitchen"
To me, it's more along the lines of, "Everyone in the kitchen is already talking about politics and are covering the exact topics you just brought up! And you will probably have a more enriching and productive conversation if you join them!"
@rosebud332 I agree. I was on March 16 and we had organized threads. It's so much easier than multiple threads with questions or random stuff! I don't feel like organization is synonymous with strict.
And I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticed the lack of snark!!
@runrinserepeat I definitely get where you’re coming from. On the flip side of that, I guess the way I see it is you walk into the middle of a party and just start yelling “I hate Donald Trump!” And someone walks over to you and says, “Hey, we’re already over here having a conversation about how much he sucks, you should join us.” I just see it as a way of funneling like conversations towards each other. Anyway, you know what I mean. And I’m glad you’re sticking around despite it not being your favorite way of doing things.
I like rules that scare away other people. High standards aren’t bad
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@runrinserepeat I definitely get where you’re coming from. On the flip side of that, I guess the way I see it is you walk into the middle of a party and just start yelling “I hate Donald Trump!” And someone walks over to you and says, “Hey, we’re already over here having a conversation about how much he sucks, you should join us.” I just see it as a way of funneling like conversations towards each other. Anyway, you know what I mean. And I’m glad you’re sticking around despite it not being your favorite way of doing things.
Re: First appointment later than I thought...
I don't have my first appointment until 10+2 and I don't have an ultrasound until week 18-20.
Trust your OB knows what they are doing.
Most of the ladies who have a million appointments right off the hop are because they have a history of loss or they are high risk. Count your blessings that your OB does not put you in that category.
ETA: if you want support / want to stick around, considering introducing yourself in the introduction thread pinned at the top. Then you can jump in and post these type thoughts in weekly randoms, weekly questions or weekly appointments thread.
We have a planned parenthood type non profit agency that does ultrasounds if you schedule them and another company that does ultrasounds for a cost that some people choose to do.
Editted for spelling
Together Since 04/21/2009; Married Since 05/29/2013
Baby Boy born 11/30/16
Baby #2 Due December 4
Kade Wayne born July 23, 2015
MC in February 2017
MC in November 2017
Oliver Dean (Ollie) due December 17, 2018
I apologize in advance for how I’m about to respond to you. I’m not normally the type of person who would even say anything back, but I took your reply personally and you came off as rude and condescending. Maybe you don’t realize that’s how you came off. Maybe it wasn’t your intention. But regardless, I posted looking for insight from people in a similar situation, not judgement from a complete stranger.
I DO trust that my OB knows what he’s doing. I have just read others posts about seeing their OB sooner than what I was told. At least for blood work, or to confirm the pregnancy.
And I AM counting my blessings, 1. Because I was able to get pregnant at all, 2. Because I am relatively healthy overall and am hoping for a healthy pregnancy as well. Please don’t tell me to “count my blessings” because you don’t know me and you have no idea what my conception journey has been.
And I DID post in the introduction thread...yesterday. I’m sorry you missed it. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel the need to post a passive aggressive response to a person you don’t even know. I didn’t realize I needed to follow a certain set of rules before posting a question. Good thing you’re around to set people straight and tell them what to do.
In addition to the weekly Questions thread, we have Symptoms, Appointments and Randoms (which is kind of a catch all for things that don't fit in the other threads, plus a fun way to get to know everyone as they post little bits about their daily lives.) We also have a bunch of great weekly threads like PGAL (pregnant after a loss) and FTM or STM check ins. If you haven't already, it would be good to read the Read This First thread (it's pinned toward the top) to find all the places to post and connect with everyone.
Sorry if you were upset by Kristah's post and that you found it condescending, but I think if you re-read your reply you'll see that your reply was pretty hurtful. I'm glad you're here and you're excited! But maybe it would be good to take a breath and reengage in a more positive way. (Not meaning this to be condescending - I am 100% being genuine here.) Hope this helps and is taken in the positive way it was meant!
We are THRILLED for everyone here, but everyone could enjoy it more if we were all considerate of the forum.
Congratulations on your BFP and I hope the next few weeks fly by for you!
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
Thank you for your response. I didn’t realize there were so many rules for the message boards. I am new to all of this and just found out on Saturday that I am pregnant. I have never been pregnant before and a friend told me to use this app because I’d find support and help with any worries and questions. I will re-read the intro thread and try to only post where appropriate from now on.
I realize my response to @kristah2 could have come off hurtful, but I was pissed off and annoyed by her less than helpful response to my post. I truly don’t ever even respond to people like that, but she genuinely rubbed me the wrong way and I felt I should say something.
I consider myself a very positive and upbeat person and I felt like she was trying to “put me in my place” rather than try to be genuinely helpful.
Thank you again for your input.
I had given you my experience with my appointment dates from both of my pregnancies. And since I remember feeling the same way as you during my first pregnancy (when I wasn’t seen until 8 weeks and only had an ultrasound at 10 weeks that time due to severe pain) I thought I would clarify as to why so many of the women on this group do have appointments and ultrasounds earlier in pregnancy.
So I gave my shared my experience and some facts on early appointments, thinking I answered your question. But instead I rubbed you the wrong way.
Sorry I missed your intro and sorry I pissed you off. But also be aware your response was very rude (on purpose). That said, we don’t have to be friends.
Thanks to @maureenmce @texas_t and @Rosebud2587 for having my back and knowing im actually a nice person!
Another word of support to @kristah2 It’s hard too read tone through text, but I assure you kristah2 did not mean it the way you took it. Stick around and you’ll find out she’s pretty awesome.
Thanks for the welcome! I don’t know that I will stick around honestly, because I haven’t felt welcomed. If I do keep this app, will probably lurk more and post less.
Thanks again for the kind words. I hope your pregnancy is going well, too.
@good_nurse You're welcome! And whether or not you decide to contribute or not (I hope you do!) just want to point out that multiple people actually bent over backwards to be nice and welcoming to you and explain the rules of the board, even after a rough start. I mean, no one can make you feel welcome if you don't, but multiple people certainly tried!
DS2 due 12/12/18
it certainly appears that way to me as well.
DD2 | June 2011
DS1 | Oct 2013
ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
DS2 | June 2016
DS3 | Dec 2018
Due with baby blob August 2021
There’s been literal years of single posts like this with amazing community...
DD2 | June 2011
DS1 | Oct 2013
ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
DS2 | June 2016
DS3 | Dec 2018
Due with baby blob August 2021
I get it. I’ve been around for a long time too and I bitched about this a few weeks ago. But then I decided that I’d go with the flow or gtfo.
And I have to agree with @littlewhitecottage on her point about give and take. If you don’t want to read through the questions the rest of us have had, why would we want to read your question?
(But seriously. I 100% agree with you, @littlewhitecottage.)
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
DD2 | June 2011
DS1 | Oct 2013
ADD3 | Oct 2014 (April 2001)
DS2 | June 2016
DS3 | Dec 2018
Due with baby blob August 2021
Also I’ve been waiting on snark like,
“Where am I? Is this The Bump?”
This bmb is way tamer than most.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
Generally, conversations are more organic than structured the way the forums try to make them these days. And I'll admit I have been having a hard time keeping the Randoms, Questions, and Symptoms threads all straight. But.... it's also really not that difficult to adjust, because typing up discussions and responses IS more structured than just blurting out whatever is on your mind. I guess I never had a problem with the way it was before, but if someone decided to make a change, they must have had their reasons. And it seemed worthwhile to me to give it a shot instead of dismissing the board as uptight and rigid out of hand.
And I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticed the lack of snark!!
DS2 due 12/12/18
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018