FFFC 4/6

WorkinWeezel

Selfishly started!  Let's here 'em, ladies!

WorkinWeezel

I don't even want to "waste" babysitter time with my husband right now because I feel like I cannot even enjoy myself when we go out.  I can barely eat, cannot drink, feel frumpy, and would rather save up some babysitter funds for when I'm no longer pregnant.  Is that weird?

paytonpedro

I’m laying in bed feeling LO move while my son has been awake, probably destroying his room, for 10 minutes. I just don’t have the ambition to move. Ok. I’ll get up now...

WorkinWeezel

@paytonpedro 5 more minutes.... 

paytonpedro

WorkinWeezel said:

@paytonpedro 5 more minutes.... 

literally still laying here  haha. 

Also, I don’t think I’d waste the babysitter funds now either. I also like taking DS out with us so that makes it a little easier. Last time we were out alone was vday and I missed him. Lol. My mom is watching DS tonight so we can go to a meat raffle for my husbands firehall though. I don’t plan on staying late. Unlimited beer and no food, meh. 

wildtot

I feel like a bad mommy. DS turns two in less than 2 weeks and we have no plans for a play date or party. The only thing we have done is take the day off (a Wednesday) to do something as a family. We don’t even know what yet! I really wanted to do something with other kids but DH hasn’t been into it. What do you do with a two year old with the CO bipolar weather?!

wildtot

@WorkinWeezel I’m actually the one to opt for a sitter but DH doesn’t like to. Only reason is because if it’s eating out I’m the one sharing my food and dealing with DS while DH gets to eat calmly. It can get frustrating for me especially if i start to feel anxious. But we still rarely do sitters unless it’s a special occasion (like once a year). I think we should though because we need to get back to our one on one bonding time. DS will be fine, it’s the sitter i worry about lol hoping he’s nice to them. 

WorkinWeezel

@wildtot we don't really get them, ever, except our parents (who each live over an hour away).  We've actually relied a lot on friends and we will take each other's kids all the time, but I haven't taken advantage with dates (usually just if my kids are off from school and I need someone to watch them) because I know they will be offering a lot of support when this LO is born.  

I just want a night to go out, get drunk, binge eat, come home, and enjoy my husband ALONE!!!  Few more months... 

runsomewhere

@WorkinWeezel I kind of feel the same way. We are fortunate in that my parents take DD over night once every month or 2 but recently I've been kinda meh about going out. Our wedding anniversary is this month and we can't do any of the adventurous stuff or wine country stuff we'd normally do. 

@paytonpedro being in bed sounds so fabulous. It's dark and rainy here and I'm at the office wishing I was in bed.

@wildtot you're a good mommy and a family day out will mean a lot to DS. Do you guys have any indoor trampoline parks near by? A toddler friendly bowling alley, aquarium or if you're near Colorado Springs (I think you're in CO) stay a night at the Great Wolf Lodge! I've never been but every toddler mom I know who has raves about it. 

wildtot

@runsomewhere we were thinking the zoo, bumper cars, and i proposed bowling. I think he’s still under the height for bumper cars. DH thinks bowling is weird. So it might be the zoo. We’d love to do a night away but pets ugh. The springs are like an hour away so maybe a day trip, I’ll take a look. Thanks!

SmashJam

@wildtot I second bowling if you can get DH on board. We did that for DS'S second and what's great is you can make it go quicker by bowling for him if he gets bored lo. My son did ok.

cseley321

@runsomewhere I was checking up on great wolf lodge and reallllly want to go, but my husband just isn't into it I guess. If you can go on a weekday or Sunday the rates weren't bad at all!

TalesOfASocialIntrovert

I'll probably get flamed for this but it's been a rough morning (and pregnancies, really). **Possible TW below**

FFFC: I take a step back from the board at times when the whiney comments about normal pregnancy stuff really start to get to me. Even the GD threads are too much to handle some days. DH and I planned for my high risk pregnancy for over 5 years before we started trying. I'm T1 and with that comes a host of possible complications to me and LO (read: basically everything you could think of (fetal death, maternal death, heart defects, spina bifida, premature birth, etc etc etc)). The last 24 hours have been pure shit for my diabetes control, despite doing literally EVERYTHING RIGHT (not one but TWO equipment failures have contributed). I've lived with this disease for over 22 years so I know it more than I know life without it. AND IT FUCKING SUCKS. When someone with GD is bummed about a "high" fasting number of one-oh-whatever, I simultaneously roll my eyes and relate to them. But hey, your GD goes away and you'll likely only have a big baby as a result. Meanwhile, I'm praying my impossible control isn't permanently harming my child. I'll forever have a plastic needle under my skin to deliver insulin, a metal rod under my skin elsewhere to detect bloodsugars, and multiple finger pokes everyday (sometimes upwards of 12 times) for LIFE. Literally, for life (forever) and for life (to sustain my existence).

And all that also makes me feel guilty, bc pregnancy and life are hard for everyone regardless of the obstacles.

ETA: This is by no means directed at anyone specific. Straw that broke the camels back this morning - I actually have a friend that had a breeze of a pregnancy and at 7 days PP, is fitting into her size 10 jeans. Bc basically "if you just get up and exercise during pregnancy, you'll be back to perfect health immediately!"

wildtot

Great Wolf looks amazing! We could do a weekday stay for less than $170 (not themed, boring) but we’ll see since we would have to board the dog. 

WorkinWeezel

@TalesOfASocialIntrovert I need to hear this from people like you who put it in to perspective for people like me.  While I've never had GD and this is my first time dealing with it, I was most bummed about feeling like I was doing something wrong.  A friend told me to keep it in perspective, and she's right; and with all you're dealing with, it makes me realize I need a smack in the face sometimes that this is ALL I have to deal with.  I get to walk away when it's over.  I've already had big babies, I can deal with another one, if that's the case.  I am NOT a pregnancy complainer, I actually enjoy most parts of it (besides the not drinking), but I think it's important for people to recognize that not all of us have it that easy.  

So I, for one, appreciate people putting it in perspective!!!!  If I get whiny, PM me and tell me to STFU- trust me, I won't get offended!  I hope all continues to be ok with your LO and there are no more equipment failures!!!

zande2016

@TalesOfASocialIntrovert sorry you're having a tough time. I can't even imagine having T1 and how hard that must be, especially during pregnancy but also in general. I feel like you're probably referring to me with the complaining about a 10-something fasting thing, and that's fine, you're entitled to feel the way you do, but you don't necessarily know the struggles others are having or other underlying medial or life issues others face. We all have struggles, some way greater than others, but we all feel them regardless of how much someone else might be struggling more, and we're all entitled to seek support and advice for our struggles without having to worry about feeling judged. I get how you feel, just saying, we all need support. 

TalesOfASocialIntrovert

@zande2016 It isn't directed at you or anyone specific. I actually really like most everyone here (can't think at the moment of anyone that really bothers me). And the fact that I feel this way and know full well that everyone has their own struggles only contributes to the conflicting emotions of high risk pregnancy. And I totally understand everyone needs support! Half of me highly relates to a lot of pregnancy issues and wants to offer support. But some days are just too hard and make me step back. I have another friend that had GD with 3 pregnancies and it was nice to talk to someone IRL that could relate on a certain level what I'm going through.

All I'm saying is some days are harder than others and acknowledge that it goes that way for everyone. I just can't handle the board some of those days.

zande2016

@TalesOfASocialIntrovert I totally understand. Pregnancy just fucks with your mind in general, and with all the added stress and complications, I can't imagine how difficult it must be (are we allowed to curse on here?) You are a warrior and superwoman even if you don't feel like it most days. 

TalesOfASocialIntrovert

@zande2016 I'll let you know if I get a warning for my swearing 

stillcozy

We just bought a new mattress without trying it out first. I am nervous about it but the reviews for the Puffy Mattress looked really good. Also we have 101 nights to try it and return it if we need to. Just hoping it works out haha we never just buy like this 

stillcozy

also I made an individual portion of safe cookie dough and ate it this morning and let dd lick the bowl haha it is one of those days 

wildtot

@TalesOfASocialIntrovert it’s good to put things in perspective but i agree with @zande2016 that we all probably have our own challenges that we don’t speak about. Putting a perspective shouldn’t try to minimize the worries and struggles others have. It’s like telling me suck up my anxiety because there is always someone else dealing with something worse. We shouldn’t try to valid what is a legit struggle, just support each other. You unfortunately have a history with It, in return your a great resource to provide guidance and advice. 

WorkinWeezel

@zande2016 and @TalesOfASocialIntrovert I've never got flagged for cursing... which I do a lot!

hillbillywife

@lindsayleigh1989 looking up recipes for that right now because I NEED that lol

zande2016

@lindsayleigh1989 we need a new mattress badly and I've considered ordering one of those Casper ones without trying first. I figure if it sucks it has a risk free guarantee so why not give it a try. 

wildtot

@zande2016 we were thinking Casper too!
or that purple one 

acunamatada

@zande2016 we got the ghost bed last Memorial Day I think? It came with three free pillows too as part of a promo. No complaints here! But our last mattress NEEDED to go, so we didn’t have much to compare it to. 

@wildtot I wanted the purple! DH wasnt convinced it would be comfortable so we went with the ghost bed instead 

runsomewhere

@wildtot and @cseley321 we haven't been but my DD is a huge water park nut so I think she'd love it and I've heard so many good reviews. The closest one to us is in Southern CA (we're in the Bay Area) but we are thinking of going during the week while I'm on maternity leave.

@wildtot bowling can be super fun for little ones, some places have fun lights, ramps and really light balls. 

@TalesOfASocialIntrovert wow, I have no idea you were going through that. I am fortunate enough to know nothing about diabetes and I had no clue it was so serious. I totally understand where you're coming from.  

Slightly off topic but your feelings are kind of why I never complain about pregnancy IRL. I have friends who have had losses or struggled for years to conceive so I'd feel like an a-hole complaining about some minor discomfort.

@zande2016 we just got a tulo mattress for DD's new big girl bed and it's super comfy. I'd definitely be open to getting one for myself. The tulo is very similar to casper, same concept and manufacturer. 

gingerbride26

@wildtot I'll help you with 2 year old Bday if you help me with 30 year old Bday... DH won't freaking give me a clue about what he wants and his birthday is in a month.  I second zoo - maybe build a bear? Kid play zone?

@TalesOfASocialIntrovert I understand where you are coming from; I don't have T1 but a couple of our aunts do and I've seen just how hard and terrifying it can be second-hand.  I can relate on the high risk/chronic illness side and how on a bad day when your anxiety is at a 10 and you feel like ass it's hard to be empathetic, so I back off those days from people until i'm me again. I didn't read that as you taking away from others, though, just having tougher days relating. Honestly, the friend's comment about just exercising would piss me off.  Every body and every pregnancy is different.  With my first I left the hospital in pre-pregnancy jeans being loose and i was NOT a fit mom- not bragging, that was just how my body did that pregnancy.  I also was wearing stilettos full term.  This time I'm 2x the size I was when I delivered and can barely walk at 23 weeks.  I had a friend who would call to "catch up" every couple weeks to month while we were both pregnant - I was a lot sicker during our actual pregnancy with more labor scares and weird things, she was a total Brooklyn Decker from "what to expect" movie who didn't have MS or a single BH - until labor.  Mine was atypical but easy/uncomplicated and her's was emergent induction that was long and rough on her.  I haven't heard from her since my daughter was born besides the odd passive-aggressive comment on FB because she wasn't winning any more - so stupid. Different isnt better or worse...just different.  Ok wow...hormonal rant over.

wildtot

@gingerbride26 for my 30 we did Korean bbq (lots of fun!) but DH turns 30 in May. At first he said he didn’t want to do anything. But now he says he wants to but idk what. I get worried with taking DS to places with trampolines because i read something about that their bones are still too fragile to take that sort impact at this age. 

cseley321

@runsomewhere as someone who spent a lot of time going through IVF and other treatments and half a dozen losses, it is much appreciated. I didn't mind it when reading through the bump when I was actually pregnant and could relate or offer advice, but when I was going through treatments and mourning losses (all privately), it was a lot to handle when someone was whining to me about how she got KU with her 6th kid while she was half asleep. I mean, yeah, I feel for her, a surprise  pregnancy is always scary, but a random conversation like that would kill me a little on the inside.

You never know the path someone else is travelling, so I try and be gentle when it comes to subjects that could trigger someone.

morethanamama

100%  what @gingerbride26 says but may I also add the perspective of someone who's had a very uneventful pregnancy so far that it is really, really annoying to not be able to talk about your pregnancy at all because all you get is "oh you're lucky, just wait until this hits" or "don't get too comfortable something will happen". I'm not talking about this board but this is what's happened to me in real life and lately it's getting to the point where I won't say anything when some people ask me how I'm feeling because saying " I'm feeling really good thanks" is apparently bragging. They literally go through a list of symptoms and when I say no to all of them it's like they have to find something to "get me". So if you can't be happy for me because I'm feeling good I don't think you really care about me anyways.
I clearly don't advertise how good I feel to the world everyday but if I'm asked I'm going to be honest.

hillbillywife

I really hate it when people say “you can’t complain about something in your life that’s really hard because someone else has it worse than you.” I’m not a nasty person and wouldn’t ever want to hurt anyone’s feelings purposefully. But I don’t think it belittles someone else’s struggles to have struggles of your own. but I also don’t think it’s okay to complain to your bff about how much you hate pregnancy when she’s been struggling with infertility etc because that’s pretty rude.  

@TalesOfASocialIntrovert this isn’t aimed directly at you. You just brought up the subject and I hear about it from lots of people. I think it’s hard to take a step back even though it’s helpful and I totally don’t fault you for not participating if you’re bugged. I’m sorry you’re going through all the stress of pregnancy with an illness. I wish this endeavor was easier for everyone. 

gingerbride26

i agree 100% with @kissableviv 's addition - I'm getting that way about talking about my 2 year old "oh just wait until you hit 3's" or if you are honest about legit issues you get called a drama queen and if you say everything is great you are bragging (talking IRL not this board). I also just smile and nod and say as little as possible to everyone.  Pretty sure DH's family thinks i'm a bitch but it's easier than trying to have a real conversation about uncomfortable topics people don't want to take time to try to understand.

TalesOfASocialIntrovert

Just to add to the conversation - I never want someone to NOT talk about something difficult or joyous for them. My struggles are my own and someone else's experience only affects me bc of my own situation, not theirs. That's why I'd never ask someone to stop talking if it helps them. All I really wanted to say is that sometimes when I walk into a room and hear something hard for me, the easiest thing to do is leave for a bit. I think anyone here, or IRL, could appreciate and relate to that. I wasnt trying to, in any way, say that "woe is me and everyone else has it easy", more that today is hard and sometimes being here makes that struggle harder in the moment. And not bc of the people or the issues, just bc that's how life works sometimes.

wildtot

@TalesOfASocialIntrovert I’m sorry your having a rough day! I hope tomorrow will be better, but i get what your saying and i don’t think anyone took it personal. *hugs*

zombiehoohaa

I should be drinking water however the ice cream man just drove by so Im going to scoop myself up some cookies n cream ice cream in a cup...it's in a cup and turns to liquid, so it counts as fluids, right?!

wildtot

zombiehoohaa said:

I should be drinking water however the ice cream man just drove by so Im going to scoop myself up some cookies n cream ice cream in a cup...it's in a cup and turns to liquid, so it counts as fluids, right?!

It also counts towards your dairy intake 

zande2016

Speaking of dairy...is it true that dairy increases mucus production? I thought I read somewhere once that that's just a myth. Asking for a sick pregnant lady....

gingerbride26

@zande2016 according to our ped it does - water thins and milk/dairy thickens mucus - when DD has a cold the ped always tells us to try to cut back on the milk

zombiehoohaa

@zande2016 frozen dairy can actually help soothe sore throat and provide calories you otherwise may not eat while sick.