Really grumpy with DH - sorry this is long! He said he was going to poke though the birth book I brought home to see if he was up for being my birth coach. He was going to go though it while I was working early evenings these past 2 weeks. He hasn't touched it. Didn't mention it to him, but a birth class starts next week for 12 weeks and I would love to get into it with him if he is willing to take on the job of my coach. There is another session but if we do the first one we are allowed to come to any/all of the second one for free so um yeah, let's do it now.
another one, at like 6:30 last night I asked if it would be enough food to share my leftovers for dinner. DH said no but he would find something. We had nothing else so I told him I was going to do the grocery shopping so we could have dinner. I left and when I got home he helped carry stuff in and then he left the kitchen. I started dinner. it of course was an easy meal but seemed to be taking forever. I get it done and let him know it is done and I eventually hear. Thank you but I am going to pass. And I had to walk to the bathroom. Hormonal cry sob fest. composed myself and walked out and (at least I thought) kindly asked that next time I say I am going to shop for dinner and he doesn't want it to please let me know before I go. I would have stayed home and eaten my leftovers vs being a hungry cranky pregnant lady when he said no. OR to let me know when I got home that it was too late for food. He said he didn't hear me say I was going to get food to make dinner (but he heard i was going to the store) and he thought I was in the kitchen making food for lunch the next day. I was shocked and had previously been crying so I am sure he could tell that but I said. Ok, whatever there was a misunderstanding and went back into the kitchen to eat something myself and clean up from cooking dinner as well as put it away. I was ok at that point as misunderstandings happen and we were good. He turned into major grumpy husband and pretty sure he was still grumpy this morning. Um, pretty sure this was worked out and I go over my hormonal breakdown before talking with him and i was ok as I was cleaning up. not sure why he needed to stay grumpy when he was the one that didn't hear me say what I was doing.
Dear insurance companies....fuck you. Just give me a straight answer as to what's covered. 'It depends' is not an answer and I don't want to wait to do it, have my doctor code it just to find out you don't cover it.
I didn't mind cleaning up or making it. I was pissed I didn't get to eat until later but thankfully I wasn't nauseated. Once I realized it was a misunderstanding (or he didn't care to admit he knew what I was doing and decided he didn't want to eat that late) I was good. have no clue why get got all grumpy and that ticked me off. I did not want to ask why he was grumpy when I did all the work etc because I am sure I would have been crying again with hormones and well that is exhausting. we will see in a few hours if he is still grumpy! AND this was all after sharing the news with his side of the family. nice way to end a fun day.
@SweetSweetTooth my husband gets grumpy any time I get upset with him and it's a big circle but he seems to like being upset whereas I'd like to just move on so I feel you
@kiwi2628 I looked at my husband after flushing yesterday and said "I don't know why...but I still feel like I need to pee." And that's because I did. That's because I always do.
@Sammierose464 Yep! 2nd time momma here, and I STILL had to/have to lean forward to fully empty my bladder...almost 3 years after DS1 was born. On the upside, if you get pregnant with another child later, all the peeing feels normal! Caffeine definitely exacerbates the problem!
Family drama sucks. I would elaborate (I had it all typed out) but I can’t put it all out there on the internet, even if it is anonymously. There was no outright drama, it was more about who was invited, who showed up and who didn’t on Easter.
I ended up being unable to control my emotions and stayed upstairs crying at the party yesterday. I just could not get it under control - thanks hormones. MH told everybody I wasn’t feeling well & was resting upstairs, which was true too and I had mentioned not feeling well to a cousin before I couldn’t handle things, so at least it didn’t look like I was a giant toddler having a tantrum (I hope). I love MH’s family and one of the things I loved about it is how close everybody was. It’s something I always wanted and never had as a kid and now I’m watching it all fall apart. Hard on a normal day but apparently impossible when I’m pregnant.
I am so frustrated. I was told today that if I had medicaid genetic testing would be covered but because I have bcbs it probably won't be because I am not 35. I am glad people who need help can get it don't get me wrong, but I also have friends who have completely abused it and I bust my ass every day for my crap insurance. Ugh tears.
@ninji15 If it makes you feel any better, I work for a large national health insurance company. I've been here just over a year and have the worse health insurance coverage I've ever had. Also, I'm AMA and qualified for the NIPT. My insurance covered $21.86 of the bill.
@ninji15 did you call the lab who does it directly? I have a high deductible (CDHP) plan through BCBS and was told it would be covered (and I'm not over 35). I haven't gotten my bill from Sequenom yet though.
@KFrob ugh that’s terrible!! I don’t understand why Insurance is so screwed up.
@sammierose464 that’s my next step to see what I can do and how it will be billed. I haven’t received all the information I need to call yet. I am hoping it’s not as bad as I am picturing the cost being.
My bf is directed at the MFM office. The Dr prescribed me insulin pens last Wednesday but forgot to send the prescription for the needles. I got 2 sample packs on Wednesday when i went for my teaching. The pharmacist told me he'd call and see of he could get the dr to send it over. That didn't happen so I called Thursday and left a message for the Dr & mfm nurse. They were closed on Friday as it's a Catholic hospital. I wasnt able to start the insulin until yesterday bc I didn't want to start and stop it. I called the dr office today and they still cant get me a prescription bc the MFM nurse, which is the person you need to go through for just about everything at this office, only works Wednesday through Friday. Not to mention the instructions the Dr gave me during my consult are different than the ones in the prescription and I can't seem to get help with that either!
Today was beyond exhausting at work. I got there late because I was negotiating with a tiny terrorist. Then from it was non-stop all day long. I left with about a 2 inch stack of work I’ll have to complete tomorrow. I’m glad to be home, but I have to go in early tomorrow and I just don’t want to deal with that crap.
I had my ten week appointment today and it was such a waste of time! They want you to get there 30 min early which I did and then my apt was 25 min late. Only to be told my BP and pee are fine and if I don't have any questions I can leave. Waited an hour for a 3 minute visit. I really wanted to hear baby's heartbeat, but they said they don't try until week 12. I was holding off telling people until I heard the heartbeat again today (saw it on ultrasound at 6wks), but now I don't have another appointment for 4 weeks! Frustrating.
@kaylalani21 That's super frustrating. I get the point of the monthly check ups right now, but I feel like there's nothing going on. My 8 week was basically my yearly exam and my 12 week was more about my personal/family history. My dr did find the HB at the 12week (I was actually 11w5d), but other than that he just gave me some more info to read on optional blood tests.
I'm anxious for my appt at 18w which will be the anatomy scan. I'll have one at 16 weeks which will just be another basic check up.
I got snippy with DF for getting snippy with me about 4 toys DD left out and DF had to pick up when he got home from work. I made a snarky comment about him having to clean up 4 whole toys. It blew up into this big Capital-T Thing because he misinterpreted my comment as implying that he doesn't work hard all day. Which turned to him saying he'd love to take my place and stay home all day while I went to work. May have lost my shit because I'm not just a stay at home parent, I'm a work at home parent with a kid who isn't in school. I pointed out to him that when he goes to work, he's not expected to do anything but focus on his job. Me, however, I have to do my job at the same time I'm taking care of DD, making sure she's keeping up with her lessons, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the household, and taking care of the animals. So while his job may be exhausting, I don't have it easier just because I'm at home. We ended up making up about it but I'm still seething about the whole thing.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@mytrueloves I totally get that. I work from home 1 day a week, and sometimes DH makes me feel guilty if I don't get house stuff done while working. Um. I actually still have to do work all day.
@sammierose464 the chores not being done is a huge deal for him. He says the mess affects his mental health. But I don't know how he expects me to keep things clean to the level he wants it AND do my job. @SawyerRichardson The part that gets me the most is that I have never ever said his job was easy or said that I would like to take his place, never made any comments about how he literally does none of the household chores, and have always told him how much I appreciate him and sympathize with how busy he is and how hard he works. So this sudden tantrum felt like a huge slap in the face.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@sammierose464 the chores not being done is a huge deal for him. He says the mess affects his mental health. But I don't know how he expects me to keep things clean to the level he wants it AND do my job.
You guys should sit down and talk about this at some point soon when neither of you is upset about it. It is only going to get more difficult when baby arrives, and if you haven’t sorted things out, it is going to be a rock in your shoe for a long time. Even if you previously agreed to always try to keep the house clean to a certain level, things have changed because you are pregnant, and you need to renegotiate your household responsibilities.
Also, this is going to sound terrible- but he is responsible for his mental health, not you. Your mental health is just as important as his is and should be a bigger priority to you than his.
This would really bother me. I do a lot of the household work, because it bothers me more than my hubby. We have an agreement that outside (shoveling, mowing, dog poop) is his responsibility and inside is mine (cleaning the bathroom, laundry, sweeping/mopping/vacuuming). However, there are some things we both do: dishes, folding laundry, feeding/watering the pets, general pick up.
It's not fair for you both to work (even if his job is "harder") and for you to still have to do all the chores. And what are you going to do when the baby comes? Are you going to be responsible for all of that too?
We have a white board in the kitchen that I write down chores that I really want done that week. I'll put things we will both do on it.
@mytrueloves I’ve had the mental health/house must be clean fight a thousssand times. My H needs the house cleaner than I care to keep it. It’s obviously true that a messy house stresses him out, but you know what? Keeping the house immaculate stresses ME out. We decided a couple years ago that if he needs it cleaner than it is when he gets home, I’ll hang with the kids and he can clean. I do my best to keep the house in order but I’m not making myself insane. And I don’t work from home. I can’t imagine how much shit you have to do already. DF definitely needs to be a little more considerate.
@sammierose464 I'm stealing your whiteboard idea. MH is a tornado, I clean the house and within 20 minutes he walks through with boots tracking sand and dirt and empties the contents of his truck on our kitchen table. Like you all suggested, balance is key. Definitely sit down and have a convo when not upset. I've learned that if I tell MH I need help or give him suggestions on how to prevent messes he is responsive.
@cagncoo12 It's been a life saver for us (rather a fight-stopper). When I start getting upset about things not getting done, DH reminds me about using the board. I am apparently the only one who ever notices the animal water jug is empty, so I have to write it up there to remind him. We use it mainly for things like dishes, folding laundry, dog baths, or changing sheets.
Last night I had gotten up out of bed to adjust the sheets. When I stood up I ended up doubled over in pain from RLP. I think thats the worst I've had and the first time my husband has seen me have it.
SweetSweetTooth
member
Re: Monday BF 4/2/18
another one, at like 6:30 last night I asked if it would be enough food to share my leftovers for dinner. DH said no but he would find something. We had nothing else so I told him I was going to do the grocery shopping so we could have dinner. I left and when I got home he helped carry stuff in and then he left the kitchen. I started dinner. it of course was an easy meal but seemed to be taking forever. I get it done and let him know it is done and I eventually hear. Thank you but I am going to pass. And I had to walk to the bathroom. Hormonal cry sob fest. composed myself and walked out and (at least I thought) kindly asked that next time I say I am going to shop for dinner and he doesn't want it to please let me know before I go. I would have stayed home and eaten my leftovers vs being a hungry cranky pregnant lady when he said no. OR to let me know when I got home that it was too late for food. He said he didn't hear me say I was going to get food to make dinner (but he heard i was going to the store) and he thought I was in the kitchen making food for lunch the next day. I was shocked and had previously been crying so I am sure he could tell that but I said. Ok, whatever there was a misunderstanding and went back into the kitchen to eat something myself and clean up from cooking dinner as well as put it away. I was ok at that point as misunderstandings happen and we were good. He turned into major grumpy husband and pretty sure he was still grumpy this morning. Um, pretty sure this was worked out and I go over my hormonal breakdown before talking with him and i was ok as I was cleaning up. not sure why he needed to stay grumpy when he was the one that didn't hear me say what I was doing.
Granted, I've had a cup of coffee, a can of V8, and 52 ounces of water...but...come on.
Yep! 2nd time momma here, and I STILL had to/have to lean forward to fully empty my bladder...almost 3 years after DS1 was born. On the upside, if you get pregnant with another child later, all the peeing feels normal! Caffeine definitely exacerbates the problem!
Edit bc of baby brain typos
I ended up being unable to control my emotions and stayed upstairs crying at the party yesterday. I just could not get it under control - thanks hormones. MH told everybody I wasn’t feeling well & was resting upstairs, which was true too and I had mentioned not feeling well to a cousin before I couldn’t handle things, so at least it didn’t look like I was a giant toddler having a tantrum (I hope). I love MH’s family and one of the things I loved about it is how close everybody was. It’s something I always wanted and never had as a kid and now I’m watching it all fall apart. Hard on a normal day but apparently impossible when I’m pregnant.
@sammierose464 that’s my next step to see what I can do and how it will be billed. I haven’t received all the information I need to call yet. I am hoping it’s not as bad as I am picturing the cost being.
I'm anxious for my appt at 18w which will be the anatomy scan. I'll have one at 16 weeks which will just be another basic check up.
We ended up making up about it but I'm still seething about the whole thing.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
@SawyerRichardson The part that gets me the most is that I have never ever said his job was easy or said that I would like to take his place, never made any comments about how he literally does none of the household chores, and have always told him how much I appreciate him and sympathize with how busy he is and how hard he works. So this sudden tantrum felt like a huge slap in the face.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
Also, this is going to sound terrible- but he is responsible for his mental health, not you. Your mental health is just as important as his is and should be a bigger priority to you than his.
It's not fair for you both to work (even if his job is "harder") and for you to still have to do all the chores. And what are you going to do when the baby comes? Are you going to be responsible for all of that too?
We have a white board in the kitchen that I write down chores that I really want done that week. I'll put things we will both do on it.