I was rearended a few weeks ago by a jerk who didn’t have insurance and got away with it. So I have to pay our deductible which is only $200 luckily because we have uninsured motorist coverage.
But lucky me! On the freeway the rental I’m in gets 3 giant rock chips in the windshield we will now have to pay for. I’m so annoyed and frustrated. I broke down and ugly cried today.
@hfooter I would have ugly cried too. That seems
totally unfair on top of having to get your own car fixed.
@hezzer78 Let us know what your doctor says, but
hopefully it’s just an unfortunate side effect of being on your feet all day.
My BF is my friend. All she does is complain about
her husband, and I’m getting tired of listening. We meet to get coffee every
morning with another friend, and it’s been nonstop bitching for the last few
months. The latest is that her DH wants to get his real estate license in
Florida. They live in VA. Apparently he wants to be able to sell houses in both
states, but I’m pretty sure that means he’s going to be traveling to Florida a
lot and they have two small children. And she acts like, well that’s his plan
so I just have to go with it. It frustrates me that she continues to martyr
herself. Plus, I feel like a bad friend because it makes me not want to talk to
her.
@derbysquirrel feeling any better with the flu? Hope you have been getting some needed rest!
@hezzer78 I've been having a lot of the same issues with swelling (not unevenly between legs though). Hope you get an answer from the doctor. I'm working on elevating in the evenings, wearing compression socks, and watching my sodium. No more Easter ham for a while I think! Also, my DH has been waiting on me a little more than usual to give me a chance to keep my feet up... I will take it!
@doctormom33 I'm feeling comparatively better, but still down. I'm getting crabby now from being a shut in. All the fun activity of the last week really crash landed into a week of basically bedrest. I got really excited to get to go to the doctor and pharmacy just to have an excuse to get up and move yesterday. I was totally exhausted by the time I got back home. I'm lucky that I have no real obligations right now. I was telling DH that I don't know what I'd do if I also had to care for an infant or toddler while feeling this badly. I don't know how single parents manage!
Me:32 DH:45 DSD: 20 DSS: 18 Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
If one more person tells me "Oh my gosh you're getting so big already" or " You're so big" or anything along those lines I will throat punch them. Especially next to my coworker who is 3 weeks behind me and she gets the "Ohh you're not even showing" and "you're so tiny". Throat punches to all of them. /end rant.
@lolog531 - throat punches are not only a totally acceptable reply but also highly encouraged! WHY do people comment on anyone's body?!? I'm sorry you're dealing with insensitive assholes.
@mrsbubbles-2 I know most of them aren't saying it like "you look horrible you're so big" and they say it with a smile, but it's still just a shot to the self esteem when I'm already on the struggle bus with it. Glad you agree about the throat punches!
@lolog531 - I get comments like that from co-workers that I don't see very often. Sigh. I know they're trying to be nice but c'mon. I'm sitting right next to you on the struggle bus.
Maybe the throat punches can serve as a deterrent? Like, person A says something about a woman's body, pregnant or not and gets throat punched. Well, then he goes and tells his friends B and C that hey, maybe it's not our place to talk about how someone looks otherwise you get the throat punch. Then B and C tell their friends and on, and on it goes...
I hate that I can't tell if I've liked someone's picture. Sometimes I like and unlike it several times before giving up. I don't want to have to refresh the page to tell if I already gave you a love tit! So, sorry to the bumps that I didn't love today. I tried, and now I give up.
@logo531 and @mrsbubbles-2 I am on the bus as well. I hate when people say "Are you sure there aren't two in there!" Thanks for saying I am twice as big.
@lolog531 I would throat punch them too! I had a coworker say to me that come August I will be so huge, also the way she said it was like I can’t believe you are going to get even bigger then you are now. It was a few weeks ago and I’m still thinking about it
@melissaf22 that is so insensitive of her, does this woman have children of her own? I feel like these type of comments usually come from people who have never experienced pregnancy for themselves so they have no idea. Not that that’s any excuse, but don’t let it get to you/ linger in the back of your mind.
I just need to rant on MIL a bit. She got this baby a bunch of stuff for Easter, which included a bunch of preemie outfits. Her reasoning behind this being that DH’s cousin’s baby was swimming in her newborn-sized clothes so she got her preemie clothes and they fit perfectly. (Side note: DH’s family is extremely small; it’s only him and his cousin since his brother passed away. His cousin’s daughter was the first girl in the family and everyone made such a huge deal about it. It was ridiculous, but that’s a whole other story)
I’m just annoyed because I don’t know why she’s comparing my child to theirs. And I want to scream that “hello! Your own grandson was a preemie! I know about preemie clothes!” Like, the amount of time she’s focused on their child when she has her own grandson is just so irritating to me.
I know part of it is just pregnancy hormones making me sensitive. But with DS’s birthday coming up, it just brings me back to him being early and going through the NICU stay, and even four years later it’s still a little upsetting for me.
@melbel0824@doctormom33 Thanks ladies - my feet feel better today but I still called to check in this morning. Doc doesn't think it's anything to be worried about, but wants to do a doppler on my legs to make doubly sure. I know I'll just worry about it until I go, so may as well do it
The swelling for me has officially started. My feet look like damn elephant feet AND I'm 99.9% sure I'm going to have to have my wedding rings cut off.
I'm headed to the jewelry store at lunch and they said they'd do everything in their power to avoid cutting them - but I've already tried everything on the internet and nothing is working
Also I got a letter in the mail last week from the mortgage company saying that our house payment was about to go up $300 extra a month because of some stupid class rating with our local fire department/homeowner's insurance so I'm having to figure that out.
ANYWAY - I hope all you ladies have a FANTASTIC rest of the week, and hopefully we won't have too much to bitch about next week
@khugs15 Ugh! Did you try the "dental floss trick"? The nurses at the cardiac ICU did that when my dad's hands swelled up so bad last time and it worked like a charm. On the other side, I had to take mine off months ago because they kept falling off. When I dropped one walking through the grocery store, I realized that it was time to just put them away.
@khugs15 Ugh! Did you try the "dental floss trick"? The nurses at the cardiac ICU did that when my dad's hands swelled up so bad last time and it worked like a charm. On the other side, I had to take mine off months ago because they kept falling off. When I dropped one walking through the grocery store, I realized that it was time to just put them away.
Yes!! DH and I tried EVERYTHING last night - from Windex, to butter, to the floss around the ring/finger, elevated hand with an ice pack wrapped around it... the thing just would not budge. I just got back from the jeweler and they cut it off for me Luckily it's a super small cut and is easily fixable! Now I just have to wait until LO gets here and my hands & feet go back to normal and I can get them re-sized and fixed!
I took my rings off a few weeks ago, just to be on the safe side. DH got me a silicone ring to wear for now, because I didn’t like the feeling of not having a ring on. I’m a big fan!
I never post here but I think I need to. DH and I are going through really hard times and it’s gotten to the point that I’m questioning whether or not I want this to work. He has always been sarcastic, it’s who he is. But it’s gotten to be directed towards me on a daily basis to the point where I feel like I’m walking on eggshells so I don’t have to hear anything from him. He works long hours (I work FT as well) but he rarely takes care of the small things at home. Yesterday he asked if I could drop some clothes off at the cleaners but I forgot. This morning, he was super pissy and sarcastically said “Hey, thanks for taking my clothes to the cleaner!” So I responsed with “Hey, thanks for washing the dishes last night!” Because he hardly ever does it. He laughed in my face and walked out the door to work.
Our issues stem from lack of sex but it’s not pregnancy-related. He had a slip up a few years ago and ever sinc then, I just see him differently. Our relationship isn’t the same and I just miss how it used to be.
Sorry for the rambling, I’m just in a bad place right now.
@msmonalisavito hugs, I'm sorry he's being such a butt to you right now. Have you two talked about it at all? Roles and expectations definitely shift across the board, maybe he is having a tough time adjusting too? The sarcasm thing would piss me off, especially over something so trivial. I'm sorry
@msmonalisavito sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like you are resentful and have not fully forgiven him for his slip up? If that is the case the best thing to do is to identify if it is something you are willing to forgive him for. If not then that will continue to impact your relationship. Just something to think about. Good Luck.
@msmonalisavito I'm sorry you're going through hard times right now on top of the pregnancy. You should not have to walk on eggshells in your marriage, but I understand that you're too exhausted to try and 'fix' it. Maybe try to have a heart to heart with him, see where his head is at, if you can find a common ground and work on communicating a bit better. Counseling is a big step, but maybe something to consider in the long run. Hugs!
Thank you for the replies, listening, and offering amazing advice. I haven’t told anyone IRL about this and it’s been lonely trying to figure it out on my own. You ladies are amazing and I’m so happy I have someone to talk to.
Our communication has never been very good. I love to talk and figure out whatever issues we are having but he shuts down, to the point where we will go days without talking. He absolutely hates to discuss anything serious and we once went 3 weeks without speaking, unless it was kid/bill/House related. To me, that’s unacceptable and I want it to change but everytime i bring something up, he gets defensive, mean, and blows it off. Counseling may be the only way to fix it but I feel like it’ll have to be me to push it. Ugh, why can’t marriage be easy?!
@msmonalisavito can’t say more than what previous ladies have but just thinking of you. It’s a tough enough time being pregnant and preparing for a baby to add in.
@msmonalisavito - oh sweetie. That sounds so stressful. I'm just like you, I need to talk about the problem right then and iron shit out.
Is there any way you can take some time to yourself this weekend? Maybe just a few hours to get away from the situation and really be able to think about what you want to do. Sometimes it's hard to think clearly when there's so much tension around. Even just to have some time to catch your breath might help a bit.
I do have a kids birthday party on Sunday but I’m close friends with the mom so that may count as my break. But yeah, I’d like to have a chance to be by myself and think.
Actually, sitting at the Starbucks in Barnes and Noble sounds pretty amazing right now. I may do that tomorrow.
@msmonalisavito I'm a huge proponent of counseling. When we first moved in together when we were dating, DH made a poor decision at a friend's wedding, which I found out about a few weeks later. We knew three things- that what he did was not okay, we wanted to move on from it, and we were not going to move on from it without help. We ended up going to talk to my therapist, who also works as a family and marriage counselor. She has helped us get through some really challenging times, including my husband's deployment and our struggle to get pregnant. We both had major work to do on communication and compromise, and it hasn't always been easy, but I think working with her has made our relationship so much healthier and has helped us overcome a lot of challenges. We aren't perfect (we had a big argument today, and after yelling for a few minutes we were able to calm down and talk in a way that would make my therapist proud and now it's resolved), but we're way better off than we were and I think it's set us up to be a strong team as parents.
Definitely feel free to PM me if you just want to chat or talk about therapy. I definitely know what it's like to struggle and feel like I have no one to talk to, so I'm always here to chat!
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 6/2016 TTC #1: 12/2016 Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
@msmonalisavito I'm so sorry to hear about your relationship troubles, and I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said by one of the other girls. But I think if the "slip up" is something you think you can forgive him over and you would like to try to work it out (if he has other redeeming qualities), then I would recommend marriage counseling. You can't have a successful marriage without open communication or a successful marriage with only one person trying to communicate how they feel. So I'm not sure what his deal is, but I'm certainly not going to walk around on eggshells in my own home just to avoid being picked on, because that sounds horrid. Either he needs to grow the fuck up and take some responsibility, or something else. But something would have to change. But we're here to listen and give creepy hugs. ♥
@msmonalisavito I'm sorry you guys are going through a rough patch. Have you tried counseling already?
Honestly, I feel like I don’t even want to try that. I’m not sure what that says about me, but I’m exhausted. From everything.
I am so sorry you're feeling this way. Reading your initial post gave me all the feels, that's a lot like my relationship with my ex husband and a very large part of why he is my ex. I was always walking on eggshells, I was worried about what I can and can't say, I worked more than him and made WAY more money, like I paid for everything for our whole family all the time, and yet I was still expected to also maintain a perfect household, get the kids to and from all appointments, school, etc. If you ever want to chat with someone who has BTDT I am always open to talk. I understand how hard it is and how hard the decision can be to stay or leave.
Re: Weekly BitchFest starting 4/2
But lucky me! On the freeway the rental I’m in gets 3 giant rock chips in the windshield we will now have to pay for. I’m so annoyed and frustrated. I broke down and ugly cried today.
@hfooter I would have ugly cried too. That seems totally unfair on top of having to get your own car fixed.
@hezzer78 Let us know what your doctor says, but hopefully it’s just an unfortunate side effect of being on your feet all day.
My BF is my friend. All she does is complain about her husband, and I’m getting tired of listening. We meet to get coffee every morning with another friend, and it’s been nonstop bitching for the last few months. The latest is that her DH wants to get his real estate license in Florida. They live in VA. Apparently he wants to be able to sell houses in both states, but I’m pretty sure that means he’s going to be traveling to Florida a lot and they have two small children. And she acts like, well that’s his plan so I just have to go with it. It frustrates me that she continues to martyr herself. Plus, I feel like a bad friend because it makes me not want to talk to her.
@hezzer78 I've been having a lot of the same issues with swelling (not unevenly between legs though). Hope you get an answer from the doctor. I'm working on elevating in the evenings, wearing compression socks, and watching my sodium. No more Easter ham for a while I think! Also, my DH has been waiting on me a little more than usual to give me a chance to keep my feet up... I will take it!
I'm feeling comparatively better, but still down. I'm getting crabby now from being a shut in. All the fun activity of the last week really crash landed into a week of basically bedrest. I got really excited to get to go to the doctor and pharmacy just to have an excuse to get up and move yesterday. I was totally exhausted by the time I got back home. I'm lucky that I have no real obligations right now. I was telling DH that I don't know what I'd do if I also had to care for an infant or toddler while feeling this badly. I don't know how single parents manage!
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
Glad you agree about the throat punches!
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
Maybe the throat punches can serve as a deterrent? Like, person A says something about a woman's body, pregnant or not and gets throat punched. Well, then he goes and tells his friends B and C that hey, maybe it's not our place to talk about how someone looks otherwise you get the throat punch. Then B and C tell their friends and on, and on it goes...
A girl can hope, right?
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
I’m just annoyed because I don’t know why she’s comparing my child to theirs. And I want to scream that “hello! Your own grandson was a preemie! I know about preemie clothes!” Like, the amount of time she’s focused on their child when she has her own grandson is just so irritating to me.
I know part of it is just pregnancy hormones making me sensitive. But with DS’s birthday coming up, it just brings me back to him being early and going through the NICU stay, and even four years later it’s still a little upsetting for me.
I'm headed to the jewelry store at lunch and they said they'd do everything in their power to avoid cutting them - but I've already tried everything on the internet and nothing is working
Also I got a letter in the mail last week from the mortgage company saying that our house payment was about to go up $300 extra a month because of some stupid class rating with our local fire department/homeowner's insurance so I'm having to figure that out.
ANYWAY - I hope all you ladies have a FANTASTIC rest of the week, and hopefully we won't have too much to bitch about next week
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
Our issues stem from lack of sex but it’s not pregnancy-related. He had a slip up a few years ago and ever sinc then, I just see him differently. Our relationship isn’t the same and I just miss how it used to be.
Sorry for the rambling, I’m just in a bad place right now.
Know that we're here for you if you need to vent or talk it out. Sending you all the hugs.
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
Our communication has never been very good. I love to talk and figure out whatever issues we are having but he shuts down, to the point where we will go days without talking. He absolutely hates to discuss anything serious and we once went 3 weeks without speaking, unless it was kid/bill/House related. To me, that’s unacceptable and I want it to change but everytime i bring something up, he gets defensive, mean, and blows it off. Counseling may be the only way to fix it but I feel like it’ll have to be me to push it. Ugh, why can’t marriage be easy?!
Is there any way you can take some time to yourself this weekend? Maybe just a few hours to get away from the situation and really be able to think about what you want to do. Sometimes it's hard to think clearly when there's so much tension around. Even just to have some time to catch your breath might help a bit.
Sending more hugs
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
Actually, sitting at the Starbucks in Barnes and Noble sounds pretty amazing right now. I may do that tomorrow.
Definitely feel free to PM me if you just want to chat or talk about therapy. I definitely know what it's like to struggle and feel like I have no one to talk to, so I'm always here to chat!
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers