I guess it's that trigger warnings, rather than for content that is likely to trigger a panic attack in those with various panic disorders, are mostly used for "content that is of a sensitive nature, or that some people might not like." That's fine, I guess, but it really gets away from the original intent. There are plenty of things that I hate to see. The pictures of abused animals come to mind as an example of imagery that I find upsetting, but I'm not going to have a panic attack if I come across one while scrolling through Facebook. I would find something like "Content warning: abused animals" preferable to "Trigger warning" at the beginning of those kinds of posts.
Me:32 DH:45 DSD: 20 DSS: 18 Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
Makeup: I decided in high school that I'd rather no makeup be my default look, so I'd occasionally look extra nice, instead of makeup as my default look, so I'd occasionally look extra bad. In addition to that logic, my mom never wore makeup, so I had no model for how to do it. And I was (and am) really lazy, so losing sleep in order to time on that has never seemed worth the effort. And I seriously resented that women were expected to go to all these extra steps to look presentable, while men had to be... clean? And I guess shaved/groomed?
I've let go of the resentment for the most part, since it's really not worth the energy, but I still don't think it's at all fair that women have a much higher standard. Plus, as @legallykate was saying, in the places that do care about makeup, you have to walk the line between between not trying enough, and trying too hard. It really is an absurd standard. Fortunately, I work at a job where a fairly minimal level of professionalism is expected. I try to remember to put on mascara when I go to work. And to clean off the old mascara from under my eyes. But that's it. I made a vague effort to wear more makeup when I got my first real job, but that just consisted of of some very subtle eye shadow and mascara. I eventually dropped the eye shadow. I've never felt comfortable in foundation or lipstick, and I am fortunate enough to have pretty clear skin with some tendency toward redness, so I've never worn it. I've had professional makeup done twice in my life, once as a trial when buying makeup for my wedding, and once for someone else's wedding. Both times I felt weird and unrecognizable. A friend did my makeup for my wedding, and she knew me well enough to keep it really subtle, so I was pleased with it then.
Glitter: I don't hate it, but it really does get and stay everywhere. We have to walk through the preschool classroom to get to DS's toddler room, and for St. Patrick's day they left "leprechaun tracks" all over the room, which meant gold glitter deliberately sprinkled all over the room. DS got glitter all over his shoes, which meant gold glitter all over DH's car and our house. I found glitter on DS's penis while changing his diaper this morning, two weeks later. DH is pretty irritated about it all, I think it's pretty funny.
Trigger Warnings: I agree that trigger warnings don't do much if you don't give a heads up about the topic and use a format that allows someone to actually skip it if they choose. As far as what content needs a warning, I think it's really for me to say. I don't think someone should have to be at the level of panic attacks before they might benefit from skipping a story on the internet.
Cadbury Eggs: The big eggs are disgusting. The mini ones with the candy shell and delicious and super addictive.
Makeup on men- I wish it was more standard, my husband has been know to use some concealer every now and then
trigger warnings reminded me of people on fb who post constantly about kids that are dying or have died of cancer. I’m talking they don’t even know the kid but are sharing it so then it shows up in my feed. That kind of shit I don’t want to see on my fb feed! And i wish the posted a trigger warning, not like i wouldn’t be able to see the giant pic of the kid...That’s why I don’t follow the news on fb either. I don’t need to see all the depressing things they constantly report on.
Whoever said Cadbury cream eggs are disgusting can give them all too me. And had made me realize I haven’t had one this year!
On the topic of trigger warnings, while I do feel that they are overused (ie in the keto screenshot above), I feel like they are necessary, especially in mommy groups when mentioning loss.
I legitimately have PTSD from my very traumatic losses, and though I do believe that talking about it makes it less taboo and is overall a very good thing so people feel less alone, when I am pregnant, I often am already stuck in my PGAL brain and don't want to add more worry or stress than I'm already feeling. For loss moms, rainbow pregnancies can be so difficult, and in one of my facebook groups just this week, there were several 20ish week losses, most of which not having a trigger or content warning at the beginning of the post. I won't lie when I say I've been more on edge this week and really willing this baby to kick because of those posts. It's a total mind game, but when there is a trigger warning, you have the option of scrolling on by, or at least preparing your mind and your heart before you read it.
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
@Secretstapler I agree that you don't need to suffer panic attacks to benefit from skipping some content. The issue I have is with equating "things I don't like or find very upsetting" with "triggers" that cause panic attacks. That's why I'd prefer a "content warning" for those of us lucky enough to not have to contend with panic disorders. I feel that it takes away from the seriousness of triggers when they are conflated with general unpleasantness. I get upset when I see abused animals, but my son's mom will have a full on panic attack that will wreck her week and make her think that she is literally dying if she is exposed to some of her triggers. They are not the same thing.
Me:32 DH:45 DSD: 20 DSS: 18 Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
@ecwk creepy internet hugs are my favorite. I'll gladly accept it
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
@Secretstapler I agree that you don't need to suffer panic attacks to benefit from skipping some content. The issue I have is with equating "things I don't like or find very upsetting" with "triggers" that cause panic attacks. That's why I'd prefer a "content warning" for those of us lucky enough to not have to contend with panic disorders. I feel that it takes away from the seriousness of triggers when they are conflated with general unpleasantness. I get upset when I see abused animals, but my son's mom will have a full on panic attack that will wreck her week and make her think that she is literally dying if she is exposed to some of her triggers. They are not the same thing.
But what doesn’t trigger you or me may trigger someone else so even if we don’t benefit from a warning, others might. That’s obviously not to say that every single topic can or should be censored like that but someone may react as your son’s mom does to something that for me would merely be unpleasant to read. So for the obvious topics, I think TWs are the utilitarian thing to do.
@ecwk Yes, I totally agree. And I think my main thought was that it's really not for us to decide how upsetting is upsetting enough, both because it's impossible to try to quantify "upsetting" and because people will have a wide range of reactions to the same thing. I have seen trigger warnings that seem unnecessary, but I think it's better to err on the side of caution. And also to know your audience. This was a regular topic on the TTGP board, usually about mentioning existing children. In almost any other context, a happy or neutral story about your kid wouldn't make anyone think twice, but for that particular group it can be really painful.
Hugs @elsieisamoocow I think that’s a good example of why a tw for a later loss, for example, does fall into a legit category. I know my earlier losses weigh heavily on me too, and the loss posts were hard to see and really set off my own anxiety. My mom had a loss at 23w when I was 9, so that stuff really gets to a vulnerable place for me.
It hinestky sounds like sematics. Yes, words have meaning abdvthat matters but trigger warning has become an internet term that is more all encompassing, and a sensitive content warning may be more accurate but it isn’t what is used. And I agree TW animals, or TW child loss etc makes sense.
@hezzer78 you can have all my Cadbury eggs. I don't know what it is about them. I think they are too sweet and I don't like the texture. I'm a dark chocolate fan, so anything milk, or white is just off the table for me.
*not on any fb groups that use TWs but I'm throwing my $.02 in anyway
When writing a post I would rather use a TW and not need it than not use it and need it, kwim? I don't know what may trigger some really deep set emotions in someone reading these boards and I at least want to extend the courtesy that I'm writing about something potentially hurtful / emotional / painful to read.
I do appreciate it when TWs are given a bit of a description and put in a spoiler box, though. That makes it easier to avoid if you feel you need to.
And cadbury eggs, the big ones with the goo in the middle are amazing and delicious. @hezzer78 I'll totally share my egg stash with you
@msmonalisavito - I prefer the regular reese's pb cups, for some reason the chocolate / peanut butter ratio is off for me with the eggs. Nevertheless, I bought 4 king size packages this year. You know, for the kids
So all this time TW stood for Trigger Warning? And here I thought it was for True Words, like an "honest admission" type of post. I'll go crawl back under my rock now.
@msmonalisavito - I prefer the regular reese's pb cups, for some reason the chocolate / peanut butter ratio is off for me with the eggs. Nevertheless, I bought 4 king size packages this year. You know, for the kids
My favorite are the mini pb cups because they have a higher ratio or chocolate to pb so I’m with ya. The pb cup Bells or whatever at Xmas and the larger eggs have like, the thinnest layer of chocolate - nope!!!
@neeraja_k I was about to say the same thing about TW. I just learned what it stood for today (actually, not in this thread). Seems like the kind of thing you might not want to abbreviate. I guess that's my unpopular opinion.
Re: U/O Thursday 3/29
Sooo yeah, in this case I 100% agree with you
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
I've let go of the resentment for the most part, since it's really not worth the energy, but I still don't think it's at all fair that women have a much higher standard. Plus, as @legallykate was saying, in the places that do care about makeup, you have to walk the line between between not trying enough, and trying too hard. It really is an absurd standard. Fortunately, I work at a job where a fairly minimal level of professionalism is expected. I try to remember to put on mascara when I go to work. And to clean off the old mascara from under my eyes. But that's it. I made a vague effort to wear more makeup when I got my first real job, but that just consisted of of some very subtle eye shadow and mascara. I eventually dropped the eye shadow. I've never felt comfortable in foundation or lipstick, and I am fortunate enough to have pretty clear skin with some tendency toward redness, so I've never worn it. I've had professional makeup done twice in my life, once as a trial when buying makeup for my wedding, and once for someone else's wedding. Both times I felt weird and unrecognizable. A friend did my makeup for my wedding, and she knew me well enough to keep it really subtle, so I was pleased with it then.
Glitter: I don't hate it, but it really does get and stay everywhere. We have to walk through the preschool classroom to get to DS's toddler room, and for St. Patrick's day they left "leprechaun tracks" all over the room, which meant gold glitter deliberately sprinkled all over the room. DS got glitter all over his shoes, which meant gold glitter all over DH's car and our house. I found glitter on DS's penis while changing his diaper this morning, two weeks later. DH is pretty irritated about it all, I think it's pretty funny.
Trigger Warnings: I agree that trigger warnings don't do much if you don't give a heads up about the topic and use a format that allows someone to actually skip it if they choose. As far as what content needs a warning, I think it's really for me to say. I don't think someone should have to be at the level of panic attacks before they might benefit from skipping a story on the internet.
Cadbury Eggs: The big eggs are disgusting. The mini ones with the candy shell and delicious and super addictive.
trigger warnings reminded me of people on fb who post constantly about kids that are dying or have died of cancer. I’m talking they don’t even know the kid but are sharing it so then it shows up in my feed. That kind of shit I don’t want to see on my fb feed! And i wish the posted a trigger warning, not like i wouldn’t be able to see the giant pic of the kid...That’s why I don’t follow the news on fb either. I don’t need to see all the depressing things they constantly report on.
Whoever said Cadbury cream eggs are disgusting can give them all too me. And had made me realize I haven’t had one this year!
I legitimately have PTSD from my very traumatic losses, and though I do believe that talking about it makes it less taboo and is overall a very good thing so people feel less alone, when I am pregnant, I often am already stuck in my PGAL brain and don't want to add more worry or stress than I'm already feeling. For loss moms, rainbow pregnancies can be so difficult, and in one of my facebook groups just this week, there were several 20ish week losses, most of which not having a trigger or content warning at the beginning of the post. I won't lie when I say I've been more on edge this week and really willing this baby to kick because of those posts. It's a total mind game, but when there is a trigger warning, you have the option of scrolling on by, or at least preparing your mind and your heart before you read it.
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
I agree that you don't need to suffer panic attacks to benefit from skipping some content. The issue I have is with equating "things I don't like or find very upsetting" with "triggers" that cause panic attacks. That's why I'd prefer a "content warning" for those of us lucky enough to not have to contend with panic disorders. I feel that it takes away from the seriousness of triggers when they are conflated with general unpleasantness. I get upset when I see abused animals, but my son's mom will have a full on panic attack that will wreck her week and make her think that she is literally dying if she is exposed to some of her triggers. They are not the same thing.
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
It hinestky sounds like sematics. Yes, words have meaning abdvthat matters but trigger warning has become an internet term that is more all encompassing, and a sensitive content warning may be more accurate but it isn’t what is used. And I agree TW animals, or TW child loss etc makes sense.
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
When writing a post I would rather use a TW and not need it than not use it and need it, kwim? I don't know what may trigger some really deep set emotions in someone reading these boards and I at least want to extend the courtesy that I'm writing about something potentially hurtful / emotional / painful to read.
I do appreciate it when TWs are given a bit of a description and put in a spoiler box, though. That makes it easier to avoid if you feel you need to.
And cadbury eggs, the big ones with the goo in the middle are amazing and delicious. @hezzer78 I'll totally share my egg stash with you
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w