Witchy Wednesday

oaklandava

Sorry if I am overstepping boundaries I am just feeling super witchy today and figured I'd start a thread to vent. I don't know if it's because I am exhausted, or because of yesterday's non-great news, or because I've done the math 239487203784 times to see if it's actually possible to be 2 weeks off and I am just running myself in circles. I realize that I literally can do nothing about it, but I called today to get my first beta number. The nurse called back and left me a message saying she they don't give that number out until the second one. I realize that, but my anxiety is over the top right now and I cannot take my anxiety medication. So give my effing number. 

Sorry guys. I'm just.....I don't know. 

kristah2

full right to be withcy @oaklandava!

lalala2004

Definitely have a right to be mad, @oaklandava . That's your medical information, and if you want it, they should give it to you. I'm sorry, I don't know your whole story, but I'm really sorry you seem to be in limbo right now.

rosebud332

@oaklandava I’m so sorry! The waiting  game is horrible. I think you have every right to be mad too. I’m sure they don’t want you to speculate but it’s not their decision to make. Hoping hoping hoping you get some good news in a couple of days.

coco2787

I've never heard of not being told the first beta until you get the second one, that seems ridiculous.  I realize the second number is more informative but I can't think of any good reason for them to withhold that information from you.  I went and stalked your post about what's going on and I'm so sorry you're in limbo like this.  Is there anyone else you can talk to about getting that information?  

eleven_

@oaklandava My doctor tried to pull this shit with me and I would have none of it. I absolutely lost it and demanded they give me my number. I'm not saying you should do this, I just wanted to let you know that I understand your level of torment right now. They think having the number will make you freak out if it's not as high as it should be, but they don't realize you are already freaking out. I'm so sorry you are going through this. 

prpl11butterfly

@oaklandava do you have access to test results online? That's how I get all my #s for all testing and read all the reports they do on my care.

holly321

@oaklandava, I am sorry for all you are going through.  I hope you get an answer soon.  I want to argue that they should tell you the number, because it is your health, and they should.  but really, it won't do much good, a series is really necessary to tell you anything.  Honestly, betas have never been accurate for me as to determining how things are going when I have had them done. 

coco2787

Also, your HCG should correlate with what's being seen on ultrasound, so that first number actually can be of significance in your case. 

oaklandava

@eleven_ lol I tried the nice route, but I will be going that route tomorrow. I want them to run the second one stat so that I can have some piece of mind. I just need to know.

@holly321 yeah--I know. I was just hoping that the number was high enough to correspond with 6 weeks, because I was supposed to be 8--so at least that would line up if that makes sense.

@coco2787 right, which is kind of where I was coming from but whatever they didn't call me back the second time.

@prpl11butterfly No--I don't have a login. apparently they have a portal, but it needs a code and they have never ever discussed any of this with me so I have no idea what the code would be

@rosebud332 right--I was trying to explain that speculating is the least of my worries right now lol. I'm doing enough on my own, you could at least give me something to focus on.

@lalala2004  That's what I think too. And thanks

Thank you guys so much

suzycupcake

That's a clear violation of HIPAA laws. I'm sorry @oaklandava There are no words to comfort you. All I know is that what you are going through is bullshit and we are here for you  

P.S. You didn't overstep bounds. This is a chit chat board and you are asking to be supported. Women need each other. 

coco2787

any update @oaklandava?

oaklandava

Hey guys. Tuesday's beta was 5058. I don't have today's number yet. My friend's mom who did all my US with my son said that's a good number for 6 weeks and it lines up with what they saw on the US. She said you can't see a yolk sac until at least 17k hcg and a fetal pole until about 47k. SO...that gave me hope. But now I am spotting brown that has gotten darker, and some clots and I am freaking out. I don't know if it's from the US since she was in there so long? I don't know.

holly321

@oaklandava, I am glad to hear that your 1st number was where it is expected.  As to bleeding, as my doctor reminders me all the time, 50% of women bleed when pregnant, it is often very normal and expected.  Having a long internal ultrasound could very well cause bleeding.
I know everyone is different, but  I have bled in all of my pregnancies, I had my pap appointment recently and we were discussing that next time I am pregnant, that when I start to bleed, to not even bother calling, because it is just something I do during pregnancy.  With my son, I bled for over a month, needing to wear a pad every day. 

oaklandava

@holly321 Thanks Yeah--everything I Have read online says brown is old blood and not to worry, but I think I just can't help it because the other stuff from the week lol It's not been in my underwear hardly, more just when I wipe.

FX for my beta number to come this morning!

coco2787

I hope you get good news today @oaklandava

prpl11butterfly

@oaklandava I hope everything goes well today!

spottedginger

@oaklandava glad the initial beta was good! Thinking about you this morning. 

oaklandava

I paid $200 to have it ran stat to know by now, and I don't know. I am pissed the eff off right now.

prpl11butterfly

Tell them you want that $$ back. I'd be pissed to. In fact I'm pissed for you. This is enough of a waiting game. Extra is not needed.

oaklandava

Yep. I called my OB from my son who is on the other side of the state from me now. He is making me an appointment for Monday. He said this was all bs and completely unprofessional. This OB is the most amazing person ever, I truly love him. Which, I feel like is important if you're going to be up in my vagina and you are not my husband lol

prpl11butterfly

Hopefully he treats you with more professionalism then. And yea, it's super important to feel comfortable with anyone whose going to spend that much time down there

holly321

@oaklandava, where are you that you had to pay for stat blood work?  I am sorry your OB office is making this so much more stressful and difficult.  Can you call you pcp and see if they can request the results for you?
TW loss

From having my molar miscarriage, I had to have weekly hcgs checks for months, they literally all went stat, and with Cbcs , and none of it cost even the insurance company $200.

oaklandava

@prpl11butterfly he does. I loved him. I didn't go there to start with because we moved 4 hours away. But, at this point, it's worth it to me.

@holly321 Yeah--that's what I thought. Trust me, I will not be paying it! That's a good idea. I will see about that! Thanks!

oaklandava

Update. Second beta number came back and did not double. 5,318. Things don't look so great for me and I don't really know what to say right now. Loss is loss, and it sucks regardless. I just feel like I've been kicked so many times in so many different areas lately that I don't know what to do. Thanks for everything you guys You've been truly awesome. Praying for everybody to get their happy ending.

rosebud332

I’m so so sorry for you. Please try to take care of yourself for now. There aren’t really any words but I’m thinking of you.

maureenmce

@oaklandava I'm so, so sorry. I've been lurking this thread but didn't want to chime in with the very similar experience I had last year because mine didn't go well and I didn't want to scare you. I'm so sorry to hear it ended this way. Take care of yourself. 

holly321

@oaklandava, I am so sorry.  I am glad you at least got the results.

lurvleybunchococonuts

Oh no girl *hugs* I am so so sorry take care of yourself

suzycupcake

Oaklandava, my heart is broken for you. You know my inbox is always open to you sweetheart I am always praying for you and when you feel ready, please come to the ttcal threads. This is shit. This is so much shit and I'm sorry.

SkilledSailor

I'm so sorry to hear that. Especially since they made you go through the ringer just to get your info. It was handled poorly when something like this should be handled so delicately. So many hugs. 

spottedginger

I am so sorry to hear this and for everything the incompetent and insensitive staff put you through. 

lalala2004

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

coco2787

I’m so sorry @oaklandava.  We’re here for you