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September 2018 Moms
Redpuma119
member
PP Preparedness
Redpuma119
member
I did a little copy and paste from the TTGP pinned thread about post partum preparedness.
This topic is a no holds, free for all Ask Anything on all things Postpartum. It's one thing to google or read about things but it's quite another to get answers 1st hand from those who have made the journey through pregnancy, child birth & recovery.
Also, this is not just limited to postpartum, you can ask about pregnancy related things & labor. After pregnancy, birth and recovery, so many moms say: "Why didn't anyone tell me about this or that?!" Now's the time to let your curious minds wander & ask!
This thread has a general TMI & ick warning so read at your own risk.
This topic is a no holds, free for all Ask Anything on all things Postpartum. It's one thing to google or read about things but it's quite another to get answers 1st hand from those who have made the journey through pregnancy, child birth & recovery.
Also, this is not just limited to postpartum, you can ask about pregnancy related things & labor. After pregnancy, birth and recovery, so many moms say: "Why didn't anyone tell me about this or that?!" Now's the time to let your curious minds wander & ask!
This thread has a general TMI & ick warning so read at your own risk.
Re: PP Preparedness
I found it really hard to get in the mood between sleep deprivation, the "omg are my boobs going to leak?", and just waiting for baby to wake up again. Plus when I had down time I really wanted to eat, sleep or shower for quite a while.
I can't recall if I was less sensitive or not. Everything eventually got back to "normal", especially a few months after DD weaned. My breasts and nipples took forever to get any sensation back. I think it was about a year after she weaned that I could feel anything in my nipples?
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Breast leaking didn't bother us if it happened, but you can totally just keep your bra on or toss some towels on the bed and let your boobs go crazy. Whatever is more comfortable for you.
For me the biggest deterrent was just being too damn tired. I wasn't interested in sex until I was able to get at least 4-5 hours of sleep at some point. I just wasn't willing to give up even 5 minutes of sleeping time in the beginning.
I didn't notice any change in sensitivity.
My vagina and surrounding structures all felt back to normal very quickly but my hips were/are still jacked up so that did and still does make things a little awkward. Pillows help, lol. Which also for tired new parent sex, feel free to use all the pillows to prop stuff up, lube, lube, and more lube, and a vibrator can be a tired couples best friend if you just trying to have a good time as well quickly as possible with the least amount of work possible. Sometimes you want 3 hours of athletic sweaty Yogi sex. Sometimes you want 5 minutes of getting off and then going straight to freaking sleep. New parent sex is mostly that second one, lol.
and I feel like I’m the only one with questions! So here they are...
did you tear? Stitches? How many? How long to heal?
how was engorgement/let down the first time? Tips for dealing with it?
did you poop on the table?
how was your first BM?
how can H best help in the first few days?
anything weird happen with your body that you weren’t expecting?
Uh, engorgement/milk coming in made my boobs feel like freaking rocks of burning fire hell!!! I had some freezer things that I'll find the link for cause I don't remember what they are called. I'd put those bad boys in my bra and ahhhhh sweet relief. For me though, it was only bad for like a day, so not too big a deal
Didn't poop on the table as far as I'm aware but my husband was so very kind and considerate to point out that I farted a lot. Asshole. You try pushing a watermelon out of your lemon and see if you can do it without farting/pooping you jerk!
Lots of stuff will come out of you but really the only thing you'll care about is the baby.
I got a pretty crazy GI infection so my first bms were all diarrhea
Hubby can help the most by just doing shit. Seriously just getting up off his butt and helping with all the things. Do the dishes, change the diapers, bring the baby to you, bring you drinks/snacks while you breastfeed and at regular intervals otherwise and, most importantly, do these things without being asked every freaking time. And the big, big one - don't complain about being tired!!! Cause if he thinks he's tired, try being the same amount of tired but having just pushed a baby out/just had major surgery!!! The mom is more tired. End of conversation.
For me the weird/unfortunate thing for my poor body was picking up that darn tummy bug. Just puking and pooping my brains out. But that was an unfortunate timing thing and not really a directly related to labor/delivery thing.
No idea if I pooped, I was too embarrassed to ask. I’m assuming the answer is yes though
I was terrified of the first BM, but it actually wasn’t too bad. They tell you take lots of stool softeners in the beginning. That helps a lot
One thing I wasn’t expecting, but probably should have is that baby doesn’t come out in one giant push. When they told me the head was out and I just had to wait for the next contraction to push out the body, I was like “are you effing kidding me??”
Edit to add: DH took the first two weeks off work and I didn’t have to change a diaper the entire time. That was nice.
I did tear, 2nd degree tears and also had an episiotomy. So a decent amount of stitches. Loved my peri bottle and dermoplast for the pain/discomfort. BLUE label dermoplast, NOT red. It felt like it took forever to heal, I should have done more of the sitz baths and I think that would have helped. Definitely at least 6 weeks.
Engorgement was painful and made it difficult for baby to latch. I attempted to pump but had no f***ing idea what I was doing and that didn't help much. I think a manual pump will come in handy this time around for sure. It took me a while to actually identify my let down. I was so stressed about breastfeeding that I think if I was able to relax about it earlier I would have been able to let down faster/easier. Let down was painful at times and I felt it the whole time I breastfed. Sometimes the sensation decreases for moms as the months go on. But not for me.
My H says I didn't poop during delivery. I'm choosing to believe him.
First BM sucked. Colace is your friend! Start taking it at the hospital ASAP and grab a pillow to squeeze once you're finally ready. It may feel like all your stitches are about to pop and your vag is going to fall right out, but it won't!
Make H your personal snack/food/water assistant. Also encourage him to help learn how to soothe baby, my H had zero confidence in helping soothe and just shoved him at me after like 2 minutes and was like "he's hungry, here you go". Lots of walking, bouncing, and swaying will help, but it's a tough adjustment for a newborn to be out of the womb! I'd be very explicit in what it is you want and/or need from your H. You could put him in charge of keeping track of meds too, I was taking colace, tylenol, motrin, and metoprolol after discharge and had to take them at certain times.
Nothing was too weird, but you sweat a lot, leak a lot from multiple places, and cry a lot over everything. You could have back/shoulder and hip pain for quite a while after so suddenly displacing weight you had been carrying for the better part of 9 months.
If you have any meds you take or took, especially pain killers or iron, take colace!!!! Just take it until after you stop taking all the iron and pain killers. My first BM wasn't bad, but no stitches or tears. Then again, no core muscles to help either. But just relaxing makes it easier.
Husband got to make all food for me, wash all pumping parts (had to exclusively pump 8-10 times per day for a month!), and bring baby to me the first few days. Even the first two months with high needs preemie, I had a super hard time managing to make even easy food. if I couldn't nuke it, I didn't get to eat it
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
c-section is MAJOR SURGERY, make sure you don’t have unrealistic healing expectations. I remember a week after getting home, a week and a half after the birth, being in bed and sweaty and in so. much. pain. I could barely move.
my husband is a super involved dad, but those first few weeks were tough for him. The way I can explain it is: you’re already a mom. Your daily life is already drastically different. But for him, really nothing is different until the baby arrives.
I recommend watching “the no cry sleep solution” with your H and learning about the 4 s’s. It’ll help him realize he can soothe the baby just as well as you can!
No engorgement here, let down didn’t bother me. While it seems strange to do this before the birth, take a breastfeeding class. My mom is an IBCLC so she gave DH and I a private class and I was lucky to have her there with me from the start (technically I was her patient in the hospital) but she said the class is great so you know what to expect.
I didn’t poop on the table. I asked the OB if I did and she laughed and said “No, but DD pooped on you.” It was a nice laugh to distract me from the fact that I wasn’t holding my baby yet.
First BM was not as bad as I thought it would be... however they were pumping me with miralax beforehand to make sure I didn’t have to strain too hard. My sister just had a c-section (and while she was a textbook example of best case scenario for everything), she said her first BM was pretty easy too. (Yes I talk about BM’s with my sister)
The best way H can help is by making sure you are comfortable, making sure you eat (you will forget more times than you’d think over the first few months), being your advocate (on when people can visit for example), and making sure you get time to nap/shower. MH took every childbirth class with me and was changing diapers from the beginning (and he is not the most helpful person in general, but diaper changing is definitely 50/50 in our house).
did you tear? Stitches? How many? How long to heal?
I luckily had zero stitches. Still obviously had a lot of pain down there. Use the peri bottle when you go to the bathroom. Also the tucks pads helped a lot, I would put one or two overtop of the pad.
how was engorgement/let down the first time? Tips for dealing with it?
Hot shower, pump or hand express a little bit to relieve pain before feeding.
did you poop on the table?
No idea and I probably wouldn't have cared in the moment if i did lol.
how was your first BM?
Honestly not bad at all- I was terrified but I was relieved after lol! I took colace immediately after birth- this helped a ton!
how can H best help in the first few days?
Getting you snacks and water, watching baby while you nap or shower.
anything weird happen with your body that you weren’t expecting?
The afterpains are really painful when breastfeeding at first (cramps from uterus shrinking down)
Because my tear was on the side and I kept my fiber intake up, first poop wasn’t bad. I recommend the wet wipes for the bathroom (the flushable kind) because everything is so sore from all the pushing.
I rather liked the peri bottle. Dermoplast stung like high hell to spray on and didn’t do much for me.
DH helped by bringing me snacks and water and doing diaper changes while I stuck to feedings.
Not sure about pooping on the table, but I completely peed myself after birth and didn’t know it because everything is so damn weak down there.
The ice peri packs are your best friend. Hoard those suckers while you are in the hospital so the nurses keep bringing you more and take them home. Same for big pads and mesh undies. I still have some left from DS!
Padsicles were awesome for the first week or so. Take those super thick maxi pads and soak them in witch hazel and then add a thin layer of aloe Vera gel on top. Some people add lavender EO, I didn’t. Then I froze them flat in a ziplock bag. Heaven. Used two or three per day. Also used my sitz bath daily...I didn’t bother with the sprayer part, just filled it with enough warm water to cover all my bits and sat with it under the toilet seat.
Engorgement...sucked. No, your boobs won’t feel like huge rocky boulders forever, I promise. But it does hurt. The best thing to do is nurse often (and pump a little if needed) for relief, and apply ice. Before your milk comes in, and when your nipples are sore from the new stimulation of breastfeeding (even if baby is latching well!), two newborn diapers filled with hot water as compresses feels amazing. The LC at my hospital taught me that one!
ETA words
did you tear? Stitches? How many? How long to heal?
Yes, I tore quite a bit, and needed stitches. 3rd or 4th degree tear and episiotomy. Took 30-40 minutes of foreceps to get DD out. Healing time was a few weeks. I had to ensure I didn’t over do it and took things slow.
how was engorgement/let down the first time? Tips for dealing with it?
I had had trouble producing so no engorgement. I took fenugreek and did the other tricks to get things working.
did you poop on the table? Oh my gosh yes, and apologized to the nurses a ton each time I could tell I’d done it. I was so embarrassed. But when you push for 4 hours it’s kinda expected.
how was your first BM? Hurt. But it got better.
how can H best help in the first few days? Be involved, and understand that mothers hormones are going to be a mess.
anything weird happen with your body that you weren’t expecting? I didn’t realize how long my bladder would take to heal. Never went back to normal but I didn’t realize I wouldn’t have decent control for a bit.
https://www.target.com/p/lansinoh-therapearl-3-in-1-breast-therapy/-/A-14386190?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&CPNG=PLA_Baby+Shopping&adgroup=SC_Baby&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=m&location=9029975&gclid=CjwKCAjw7tfVBRB0EiwAiSYGM3l4xTGNyX9CbDm3Fq6TCyMc6CMZb4Hutv6b5h1aJ40aVxneEruqxxoCdoAQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
I bought one set last time and am pretty sure I'll buy two this time so I can switch them out faster. Loved these.
Oh, yeah! The sweating is crazy! Basically it's like you go through a mini menopause with your hormone levels crashing after you give birth. So at some point you get the crazy sweating, hot and cold flashes, your hair falling out in amounts that will shock you- it's a whole fun thing!
Engorgement and let down were pretty uncomfortable. Be prepared to possibly pour arm pit sweat and maybe feel a bit nauseous? It also caused my uterus to cramp up, which I was not prepared for. Also, make sure you've got snacks and water in arms reach. I would get SO HUNGRY AND THIRSTY!
Post partum cramping did wonders for my first BM. I don't remember it being particularly difficult but a lot of people suggest taking a stool softener.
So, the biggest thing that DH helped with was making sure I remembered to eat and kept snacks close by. He also did around half the diaper changes.
So, unexpected things...I was not expecting post partum cramps. I was also surprised by all the sweating. Omg. So much sweat. I expected it but did not realize exactly how uncomfortable peeing would be.
Oh and ask for an extra peri bottle. Peri bottles are incredible and it's nice to have a back up in case you drop one in the toilet. And hospital grade dermoplast(blue can). That stuff helps so much.
I have friends who raved about using Depends for PP bleeding instead of pads. I haven't gotten to try this yet.
Take care of your nips.
Sex: Ffsc- sex got drastically better post baby. After recovery and around the tired and mood swings. TMI- I went from o 1 in 3x to multiple every time. ...ssoo mmuucchh betteerr.
Tears/stitches: none! I tore and could have used one but the doc opted not to, healing was pretty easy. Dd was 7lbs 11oz, I wear an 8/10 in the hips if that helps for reference. I’m not really sure why I lucked out but I’m not complaining!
Engorgement etc: I got huge! Frozen bags of peas, ice packs, and warm moist compresses were my best friends. Also, don’t be afraid to go against all the advice and pump just enough to take the edge off. You’re body is so confused on how much to make, how often that chances of making it worse are pretty slim (in my experience*). I did get mastitis, but I caught it early and got antibiotics right away. It happened because dd got her medicine to help her actually digest her food and went from eating 12x a day to 8 or so.
I honestly had no sensation w let down, it just happened and only when pumping or nursing. I didn’t leak really and didn’t realize that was the purpose for nursing pads so just used them all the time anyways...
nursing is not pain free in the beginning, but there is a difference between tolerable pinch-tugs and excruciating bad latches. Trust your gut.
I had to poop around 4cm, most awkward marriage moment as I was having such contractions getting to and from the toilet was hard so dh was right there holding me while I took a dump. I don’t think I pooped during pushing. First poop at home I was terrified of, I took milk of mag in preparation and it turned out to not be bad at all! ...peeing on the other hand burns like crazy unless you dilute as you go, I had no idea, first pee was awful!
DH handled all the hospital diaper changes, at night he would get dd when she cried, change her diaper and bring her to me whole I got set up to nurse, then he went back to bed and I fed her and tucked her back in. And overall he was just on top of food and meals and such.
Random: I never felt the urge to push, they just told me to, and I remember clearly asking if I was doing it right. So, some thing that you expect to just come naturally don’t! Also, it takes a lot more pushing than the movies show.. like multiple to get out the heas, then the shoulders, and then more to get out the rest...none of that slide right out after the shoulders crap.
I had night sweats for a while. And whenever dd would cry super hard I would suddenly have the urge to pee asap. Like had to send dh to get the baby before I peed my pants. Pretty sure this still happens actually.
Also, my fav prep (and now baby shower gift) was a basket full of what I needed for nursing: water bottle, snack, phone charger, lanolin, nursing pads, a tiny clippy to stick on a bra strap and mark which side to start on next time, book to read to baby, puzzle book for me(just think one handed-coloring is hard), burp cloth, hand sanitizer, notepad and pen(becausenyou think of everything while you can’t do anything).
I also recommend if nursing to have lanolin on hand, the soothy gel pads on hand etc, when you need them you don’t want to have to go out to buy them.
Oh, and I had a pee basket too: pads, the spritz bottle they give you, the witch hazel pad thingies, and I asked for a fresh tube of the lidocaine before leaving the hospital.
Actually, the am of discharge I asked for refills on just about everything and they told us the thrownaway anything opened tissue boxes etc, so we basically stripped the room and took all that w us too.
Okay this got crazy long... hopefully someone finds it helpful!
Edited: holy typos batman!
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
@stothi
Didn't poop on the table as far as I'm aware but my husband was so very kind and considerate to point out that I farted a lot. Asshole.
Any tips on what to pack in your hospital bag? We're doing a birthing center so no overnight stays (unless I'm still in labor). Does that change what I should pack much?
I packed pretty minimally TBH since most of the baby-related stuff that I would need was in my hospital room. So I brought yoga pants that were a size up since, surprise!, you don't automatically deflate back to your pre-pregnancy size, a couple of nursing bras and nursing tanks, nursing pads, granny panties, and basic toiletries. This time around I'll bring my breastfeeding pillow since I will be in a hospital and staying at least one night.
@smsaulino I am loving this too. I was keeping notes in my phone but finally just went and got a notebook to take notes. You ladies have help me build a reading list for labor, a rough registry, pp needs, etc. This is great.
@wishilivedinflorida Ouch to the lateral tear!
@jhjocelyn I made little totes for a friends baby shower for her to have around during breastfeeding. She said that she loved them, but I wasn't sure if she was saying it just to be nice. Good to know it is a good thing to have on hand!
Ask your birthing provider to stretch you with mineral oil once you are ready to push. It was amazing. I would have torn so much worse without it. And yes, OB’s do this as well as MW’s, so that’s not an excuse. My OB was fantastic and took her time to prevent tearing as much as possible. And honestly I think it helped things down there “bounce back” pretty well. DH had no complaints.
edit for dang autocorrect
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**