I don't understand waiting until you see your baby to name it (unless you are going to wait a couple months or so)...it's a newborn baby. it looks kind of like a potato.
I don't understand waiting until you see your baby to name it (unless you are going to wait a couple months or so)...it's a newborn baby. it looks kind of like a potato.
Here's my thing with waiting to name the baby. We couldn't decide between two names, and then he was born. For some reason, I couldn't imagine calling him one of the names... I don't know, it didn't feel right. It wasn't necessarily a "you don't look like a ______" thing.
I had a friend in college who went by Froggie because her father insisted that all newborns looked like either frogs or Teddy Roosevelt.
For me- not picking the first name is kind of like being on Team Green- there is a whole world of possibilities and right now I get to daydream about all those possibilities. Once baby arrives, then I can make some decisions.
@Lisa3379 Same. We had a name for one of our twins, but couldn’t decide between 2 names for the second one. When I saw him, I knew his name - it’s weird and I can’t explain how, but I just couldn’t call him the other name.
Also, I was so happy DS was actually a cute newborn since most are pretty weird looking. Now I look back at pictures and am like, nope, he was defitinely weird and alien looking. Hormones do amazing things.
@tinattt23@krzyriver yes!! I thought Ziggy was the most beautiful baby and i look back at pictures and am like yah. . just like all the other weird looking newborns
I think the Kardashians are hilarious & fun. I don't watch their show anymore like I used to, but when Kylie had her baby I totally watched that YouTube vid like 10 times lol. They remind me of my family sometimes in the sense we're a big family who overshare and are wayyy too involved in each others business haha! And can be totally inappropriate.
I think its silly/irrationally irritates me when people who are Team Green say they 'want it to be a surprise!'. Its gonna be a surprise whether you find out at 12 weeks or 20 weeks or 40 weeks, if just whether you want to know in advance or not, but its gonna be a surprise either way.
My UO is that I can't stand having young kids at baby showers, weddings, any sort of event that is more for adults than children. I think kids take away from parents being able to enjoy the event.
Haha, @mamabearcj I would say the opposite! It drives me crazy when things like weddings are "adults only." I can see it in fancy restaurants or concerts/plays, but events that celebrate major life transitions make no sense to me when kids are excluded!
***TW*** DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
My UO is that I can't stand having young kids at baby showers, weddings, any sort of event that is more for adults than children. I think kids take away from parents being able to enjoy the event.
I’m with you regarding weddings. Baby showers... I guess it depends on the feel of the shower for me. I thought about this when my friend and parents asked, and it sounded super weird to me to ban babies from a baby shower, haha. But mine was a casual get-together, not a fancy ladies thing.
My wedding was also kid free and most of my cousins with little ones were so happy to be able to just enjoy the night and not chase little ones around! I was also just at a friend's baby shower and they had little kids running all over the place, it was hectic.. they want to help open gifts which makes it take longer, they need to be almost constantly entertained, and I think it's just more for the adults to be able to have fun and enjoy celebrating the new mom without missing things because you have to chase your little one around most of the day..
I’m not a fan of kid free weddings. If I don’t want to bring my kids, I’ll get a sitter. Our wedding wasn’t kid free and we had friends that chose not to bring their kids and others that brought them. We’ve taken our kids to every wedding they were invited to. (That would probably be different if all of our close friends weren’t married before we had kids. Those weddings we’d leave them home if they were invited.) Yes, we know we’ll likely have to leave earlier and we have to watch them, but weddings are about 2 families coming together and they are a part of the family.
Weddings with kids are the worst. And I have 2 kids and would never dream of bringing them, because mommy wants to enjoy herself at the wedding. My idea of fun isn't running around a ball room that isn't babyproofed making sure my child isn't destroying someone's special day.
Also my UO is when people say they want to know the sex because they're a planner. You can really do pretty much everything without knowing the sex BUT I think it's totally valid to say you want to know the sex because you can and you want to know. I really don't think there's any need for further explanation.
Our wedding was kid free (minus my 16 year old sister). We were one of the last couples of DH's friends side to get married. Most of the couples have 2-3 kids already. The adults appreciated a night out and the wedding was a blast! People still talk about how much fun they had and we got our monies worth/ head at the open bar that is for sure!
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
I’m actually wondering how my dance club is going to react when I have a baby, and start bringing them to the dances. I’m the only member young enough to be having babies; the average age of our members is 70-ish.
But I’m also not going to get a sitter every two weeks. (Unless kid is disruptive- that is a different story.)
Of all my announcements, this is the one that worries me most. I’m on the board of the club, and if they ask me to resign, it will both hurt unbearably and I’ll lose my biggest connection to that community.
@knottieamusements Cool! What kind of dance do you do? I'm sure the baby will be sleeping for most of the first year and not make much of a fuss. Then as they get older they could provide some entertainment by shaking their little toddler butts on the dance floor! I doubt they will ask you to resign as long as you are still committed to them and try your best with the situation. I hope they end up thinking of the baby as one of their grandchildren in the end!
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@chyvie - that is what I hope too! I do Swing dancing. Mostly a local variation of East Coast, but my real love is West Coast. (I just don’t love the local politics of West Coast!)
@kiwi2628 I've totally been guilty of saying that Haha! But you are right it's a surprise no matter what.
There's just something about waiting, it's hard to put into words. Just this long 9 month build up and you finally get to find out if you're having a boy or girl! Idn...it felt magical. Sounds cheesy I know!!
An engagement party on a Sunday in July? What the hell am I supposed to do with my kids? A family wedding? Everyone who babysits is AT the wedding.
I'm adult enough to decide when I want to bring my kids (or don't want to bring them), but there is something about telling me that my children aren't welcome that really rubs me the wrong way. I think it's wicked rude. Love me, love my kids. Sorry.
Meh. Our wedding was kind free. We got married in a botanical garden and I just wasn't interested in having kids there. The only child under 12 at our wedding was our flower girl, and she left shortly after dinner. I understand people's reasoning on disliking kid free weddings, but my theory was that it's my wedding (my party). No one is forcing guests to come, if you don't want to come because your child can't, I totally understand and respect that, but I have a certain feeling on how I want my event to go and that should also be respected.
Baby showers are a different animal to me. I guess I just naturally envision them as being kid centric and therefore find children less obtrusive at a baby shower.
My biggest factor in the kid free wedding was that I'm paying for everyone to eat and our venue counted children 2 and up as adult plates. I knew the little ones weren't going to eat what we were and I wasn't going to pay for them. I also knew people would be drinking and I'm not saying any one would have been irresponsible but there was no need for someone to have a drink or two then drive their child home, I didn't want people to have to leave earlier than necessary because their child threw a fit or was ready for bed, and honestly I agree with @zwink1 it's my day. And I wanted it to go smoothly, and kids being there heightened the chance of something happening or someone missing out.
I wanted to weigh on the kid-free wedding thing. While I sort of understand people wanting a kid-free wedding, I also wonder if it may also have to do with the number of kids in someone's family/their relation to those getting married.
My sister lives in Europe and has 4 kids - of course I would want my nieces and nephews at my wedding!! Plus, how could I expect my sister and her husband to take an out of country trip leaving their kids behind? I also had a few friends with very young (3/4 month old) babies, and I didn't want them to feel excluded if they weren't ready to leave their little ones with someone else if they weren't ready. My cousins also have a couple handfuls of kids between them and they were all so happy to have a reason to get everyone together. Yeah, there was one little BRAT that was misbehaving, but it in no way ruined my day!
I have a whole host of social things that I do that are kid free, and that I will have no choice but to drop when Blast arrives. After about 6 months, I am planning to start getting a sitter 1-2 times a month so I can keep up with a couple of them, however, they are in no way appropriate for minors. (Even taking an infant would make other people present extremely uncomfortable and likely result in me being politely asked to leave - something about which I have no concerns and am 100% supportive of.)
On the other hand, there is a local Mom’s group that would be a great fit for me from a common interests perspective if it was kid-friendly, but instead it is a mother’s day out kind of group. If I have to get a sitter to watch my kid in order to go be social with adults, I’m going to go to the groups I am already connected to.
My dance group is different in that it isn’t kid unfriendly per se, just that there are rarely kids there (except the adult kind). I know some of our sister clubs have had to deal with the question before, but there isn’t a consensus. As @chyvie suggested, I’m hoping my contribution to the organization, and the fact that Blast would be coming up within the group will make a difference.
I have very few friends with kids but there were 5 kids at our wedding (ages 2-6) and they were all so fun! They danced with everyone and ran around a bit on the side while parents took turns watching them. Then they all went home on the early side.
That said our wedding was on a farm with lots of space to spread out, so it may have been easier to avoid being disruptive than at an indoor or smaller outdoor venue.
Reading this all I have a feeling my UO is that I do not care if the event is kid-free or not. If LOs are important to the host or bridge/groom, then I'd totally expect there to be kids there. If not, then cool. I suspect I'll have an opinion once I have kids, but we'll see.
@kimberbeep, in our case it had nothing to do with having relatively few family/friends without children. H's family is rather large and has a number of grandchildren/great-grandchildren of varying ages. We both agreed that we didn't want kids there, and if that meant that some of his family members chose not to come, he was cool with that. My family is significantly smaller, so if he had wanted kids there I would've gone with it because it was more relevant for his side, and it's his party too . That said no one in my family who lived out of state would've traveled to our wedding regardless lol, kids or no kids.
I also agree with @mamabearcj on the open bar and responsibility issue. While it's not my job to make sure you're responsible with your own children, we were providing an open bar and I didn't want that on my conscience. We provided shuttle service to and from a hotel and trusted our guests to make good decisions, but I also wasn't going to be responsible for anything happening to anyone else's child.
Re: UO Thurs 3/22
I had a friend in college who went by Froggie because her father insisted that all newborns looked like either frogs or Teddy Roosevelt.
For me- not picking the first name is kind of like being on Team Green- there is a whole world of possibilities and right now I get to daydream about all those possibilities. Once baby arrives, then I can make some decisions.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
DD born April 2015 after many rounds of IVF and losses.
After much more of the same...
I was also just at a friend's baby shower and they had little kids running all over the place, it was hectic.. they want to help open gifts which makes it take longer, they need to be almost constantly entertained, and I think it's just more for the adults to be able to have fun and enjoy celebrating the new mom without missing things because you have to chase your little one around most of the day..
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
But I’m also not going to get a sitter every two weeks. (Unless kid is disruptive- that is a different story.)
Of all my announcements, this is the one that worries me most. I’m on the board of the club, and if they ask me to resign, it will both hurt unbearably and I’ll lose my biggest connection to that community.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
There's just something about waiting, it's hard to put into words. Just this long 9 month build up and you finally get to find out if you're having a boy or girl! Idn...it felt magical. Sounds cheesy I know!!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
I will not attend events that are kid-free.
An engagement party on a Sunday in July? What the hell am I supposed to do with my kids? A family wedding? Everyone who babysits is AT the wedding.
I'm adult enough to decide when I want to bring my kids (or don't want to bring them), but there is something about telling me that my children aren't welcome that really rubs me the wrong way. I think it's wicked rude. Love me, love my kids. Sorry.
Baby showers are a different animal to me. I guess I just naturally envision them as being kid centric and therefore find children less obtrusive at a baby shower.
My sister lives in Europe and has 4 kids - of course I would want my nieces and nephews at my wedding!! Plus, how could I expect my sister and her husband to take an out of country trip leaving their kids behind? I also had a few friends with very young (3/4 month old) babies, and I didn't want them to feel excluded if they weren't ready to leave their little ones with someone else if they weren't ready. My cousins also have a couple handfuls of kids between them and they were all so happy to have a reason to get everyone together. Yeah, there was one little BRAT that was misbehaving, but it in no way ruined my day!
I have a whole host of social things that I do that are kid free, and that I will have no choice but to drop when Blast arrives. After about 6 months, I am planning to start getting a sitter 1-2 times a month so I can keep up with a couple of them, however, they are in no way appropriate for minors. (Even taking an infant would make other people present extremely uncomfortable and likely result in me being politely asked to leave - something about which I have no concerns and am 100% supportive of.)
On the other hand, there is a local Mom’s group that would be a great fit for me from a common interests perspective if it was kid-friendly, but instead it is a mother’s day out kind of group. If I have to get a sitter to watch my kid in order to go be social with adults, I’m going to go to the groups I am already connected to.
My dance group is different in that it isn’t kid unfriendly per se, just that there are rarely kids there (except the adult kind). I know some of our sister clubs have had to deal with the question before, but there isn’t a consensus. As @chyvie suggested, I’m hoping my contribution to the organization, and the fact that Blast would be coming up within the group will make a difference.
That said our wedding was on a farm with lots of space to spread out, so it may have been easier to avoid being disruptive than at an indoor or smaller outdoor venue.
I also agree with @mamabearcj on the open bar and responsibility issue. While it's not my job to make sure you're responsible with your own children, we were providing an open bar and I didn't want that on my conscience. We provided shuttle service to and from a hotel and trusted our guests to make good decisions, but I also wasn't going to be responsible for anything happening to anyone else's child.