Selfishly started because I was up at 445AM this morning. And then I had to edit the original post (3 words) because I can't grammar today. And I had a super pushy client demanding an appointment today because "I have the day off today!"....and you couldn't have called earlier this week to schedule it?? No you can't come in.
Soooo over today and it's only just begun. I showed up 2 hours early (not on purpose) for my fetal echo at the MFM. Either they wrote the wrong time when they rescheduled my appt (they write it in pencil in a paper book and I've seen them constantly erase appts when I'm scheduling in person ) or I put it in my phone wrong. What really pissed me off though was that the receptionist was like, "Oh no, did they tell you to come early? *sad face* Whoops!" And then didn't offer an solutions beyond just coming back. But DH can't come back due to work and I have DD and she can't just be left alone during the scan and I can't hold her. Effing effing eff. I'm so pissed.
@TalesOfASocialIntrovert that happened to me the other day. Luckily I was only like 15 minutes early, but it’s still irritating when they eff up and then make you feel like an idiot. I made an appointment at the peds office for my son and the appointment lady told me like 5 times that the appointment was at 11:05. So I show up at 11:05 and an entire waiting room of people go in before me so I went to the receptionist to make sure we weren’t forgotten and she says, “well you got here at 11:05 but your appointment isn’t until 11:20, so they’re probably just waiting for a room...” ugh. I’m sorry.
Mine is this morning my daughter was basically in tears that her stomach hurt. I stayed home with her. An hour later she is fine. In fact she won’t stop eating. Only plus side is Panera delivers now.
How old is your daughter @elizabethrn87? My *almost* 3 year old has been saying everything hurts. For like the last 3 days. Part of me thinks maybe somethings wrong but mostly I think she’s being an attention hog. Trying to be gentle with her today to see if that helps lol.
@TalesOfASocialIntrovert nothing worse than having to reschedule appts! Ugh. Hope you got it worked out someway or another.
My WTF is this effing house! There is a puddle on the floor in one of our basement rooms...I tell DH and he's like yeah, its coming in from the wall. I go in to check it out and I was like, no its not coming from the wall its the ceiling! Big deal because this room is right below our bathroom. So I go back and say, "No its coming out of the ceiling!" And he's like, "Yeah, coming out of the ceiling and dripping down the wall and causing the floor puddle, right?" Turns out he's known about it for awhile but didn't want to stress me out. So I go back in to move the baby stuff which is RIGHT UNDER THE PANEL in the ceiling where the water is pooling and there is water pooled in some of the stuff (a little baby chair, the tub) and the cloth stuff that was there (covers for some of the toys that don't fold with covers on) are crusty like they used to be wet. I look up at the crib and its got drips on it too! So i move everything, dump the water, and move the drop ceiling panel. No water, but the insulation is clearly wet (I didn't mess with it really) and a weird color so now I have to call a plumber and a mold company to come check things out.
I was literally JUST thinking to myself that we were on our way to being more financially stable and thankful that we had no big expenses this month and...here we are. Hopefully its not too much of a problem and just a pipe or something with no mold.
@hillbillywife DD's been off lately herself but she's not good yet about telling us what's wrong/what hurts (not quite 2). Doesn't really want to eat and extra clingy. @SmashJam water damage is the absolute worst sorry you're going through that. I'd recommend opening an insurance claim (because that's what it's for after all) but if DH knew about it and didn't do anything right away you need to be careful they don't use that as grounds to reject the claim. Dealing with adjusters is a PITA but at least you don't drain the piggy bank. Mold is also a tricky loophole for insurance (can you tell we just went through this??). My WTF is my job/employees....or maybe me... still trying to decided if they're being dumb or i'm being hormonal or somewhere in the middle...
Went to TJ Maxx to find some maternity clothes and they had absolutely no maternity clothes. WTF. is that normal?
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@rachelsogo sadly normal. I feel like all the stores I used to shop at for maternity with DD just a couple years ago stopped carrying maternity in store. H&M, Old Navy, Macys all moved their maternity to online only. Buy Buy Baby, Target and Ross carry maternity in store. Those are the only stores I've seen carry it in person other than the specialty stores like Pea in the Pod.
@runsomewhere boooo. I think it's time to find some maternity bras for me. Going to check out Destination Maternity tomorrow in WC. Never been! Otherwise it's back to Target for me, which I had great luck last time I went there at the beginning of my pregnancy.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@rachelsogo I live near that location and I've been there a few times. They have a great selection, they're just $$$. They do carry a bit of Jessica Simpson's maternity line though which I think is cute and pretty reasonable.
Moving appointments or waiting because someone else messes up is the worst. Especially when they are important ones for which SO take time off. WTF.
@rachelsogo A Pea in the Pod is outrageously expensive IMO but I had good luck at destination maternity in Texas when my MIL treated me to new clothes. Lots of motherhood clothes and Jessica Simpson stuff and they had a deal on bras - I've honestly loved them! They are pretty basic, mind you, but so comfy! I'm going to Target next week for some babymoon bathing suits. I plan to just size up.
@SmashJam sorry about the water damage! It was my biggest fear when I owned my condo.
@zg49 sleep deprivation is a form of torture, sorry you were up so early.
No major WTF for me yet. Aside from my DH getting annoyed at having to use the dishwasher...he literally hates it...well guess what I don't want to do dishes sometimes and I wanna use the dishwasher! He literally got grumpy this am when I asked him to put the bowls in the dishwasher so I could run it before I leave for Texas tomorrow. So silly
@kissableviv@runsomewhere I'm thinking I want to invest in a few good quality bras. Haven't been bra shopping since before I got pregnant so I think I need to be measured? Target will be a must for swim suit shopping too for our babymoon! Wasn't sure if I should look for maternity ones or just size up too? Totally plan on rocking the bump out.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
Why would anyone schedule an hour long meeting at 5 pm On Wednesdays?!? I asked and they said oh it’s the only time everyone is available. Um yeah because everyone is going home by then.
@kissableviv@rachelsogo I just ordered a really cute maternity one piece bathing suit from ASOS. I originally tried to do the size up thing from Free People but the proportions just seemed off and my chest was popping out. Lol. I ordered the ASOS one for half the price and it doesn’t look maternity at all just has extra material in the stomach to stretch. Made for 3 months pregnancy until after baby. They also had a lot of cute options for other maternity clothes.
I also just ordered some of my first maternity clothes from old navy and was pleased. They do run a little big so keep that in mind.
Thanks everyone. I went back at the later time and DH was somehow able to make it back then too. I was late for the later time though bc DD pooped literally as we were about to walk out the door then peed on her clothes while I was changing her diaper.
WTF to my husband. Why does he think that just because he doesn't have to be at work until 10, that he gets to sleep in while his 6 month pregnant wife (who has to wake up to test her blood sugar at 5am every single morning) gets up, gets the kid up and ready, gets herself ready, and shovels snow/cleans off the car? Then he makes me late for work, leaves my car with no gas so I have to stop and get gas, and drops our son off at daycare at 7:30 even though he's not leaving for work until 9:30, which means now I have to leave work even earlier to pick our son up from daycare because I don't want him being at daycare for more than 9 hours (it's allowed but I personally am not comfortable with it). It must be nice to be him. UGH.
RE maternity clothes - Macy's has a section of DM and PIOP in-store and I'm pretty sure you can use the coupons - I've gotten maternity bras that are nice in their regular section too. Our target has even cut way back on selection of maternity between DD and this pregnancy I just wanted a dang dress for this bridezilla shower! @wildtot I'm that person all the time lol I have a weekly 7 am Wed meeting so we can meet with upper management and Europe and Asia (who stopped showing up, so the rest of us just drink coffee together or take it on the drive in) and I had an hour long 6 PM meeting on Valentines day. When doing global stuff 9 pm isn't abnormal either if you really need to talk to Asia. @zande2016 ugh that is a WTF. DH does similar in terms of waking up with DD on weekends - at least he tends to say thank you for those days I let him sleep in :-/ Total BS about the car though - that's not cool.
@zande2016 that is a total WTF. I used to be pissed at my DH for similar reasons and finally let him know that he had to get up with his damn kid, regardless of working from home or not, or going in late. I suck at sleeping in but when we had the farm at the old house I wouldn't even see him before we left to go to daycare and work some days, and it was NOT ok.
@zande2016 here's another DH starting work at 10. I normally start at 830 from home. he was on a bad streak until a couple of weeks ago where he would just lounge in bed for over an hour then take 45 min to get ready. Which is fine now, but I like to have breakfast with him and use that time to discuss to-dos for the day. I also wouldn't mind it if he made breakfast since he has more time than I do - I'm always ok with cereal or oatmeal but won't say no yo eggs!
When the baby is here there will be nothing of that. He will most likely have to watch the baby early in the am until he goes to work
Ugh this is new to us, he used to have to be AT work by 7, then since he lost his job and now started a new job where he does not have to be in until later, he suddenly thinks that means he gets out of all his morning responsibilities. It just drives me crazy how he does not think about how his actions affect me and the whole family as a whole. I told him my frustration with having to literally pull him out of bed every single morning is coming to a boiling point, and he better start pulling his weight. I know he's only this tired because he stays up way too late.
Knowing my DH, he will rather watch the baby in the AM than paying the sitter to come in early! Because I ain't multitasking like that! Plus I make more $$ than him so I'm sure he wants me to be on time for work
@zande2016 I forgot this is new! He's probably thinking, "ah, this is so NICE not having to get up" and you're right, not thinking of how its affecting the rest of the family.
I can't remember if you said or not but...does this change your insurance situation? Do you get to quit yours and get his and save some money?
@kissableviv I make more money than my H too, but he does not seem to care about me being late, or having to leave early to get our son. Mornings are so stressful.
@zande2016 What a pain. He's an adult, not a teenage boy. Needs to help you out some more and also, leaving the car without gas is just plain rude! If he's staying up later than you, perhaps he should use some of that time to do things like fill up the gas tank!
@smashjam it doesn't really change much, he was at a really big company before so our benefits were pretty affordable and comprehensive. This new job is a great opportunity for him because he's getting in on the ground floor of a newly franchised company (restaurant), but the down side is the benefits kind of suck since they are still small I am sticking with my company's plan for now because even though it's expensive, it will save us money for the birth and is good coverage in case more expenses come up with my pregnancy. We are also keeping our son on CHIP through the state, they are keeping us at a subsidized premium for a year even though we now make over the threshold since he got his new job, so he has really good coverage for only $60 a month for the next year. I have no clue what we'll do when the baby comes. My H can't get on his new company's insurance for 90 days, so we signed him up for a really crappy overpriced plan from the marketplace (ACA) until June, then he will go on his company's by himself. We no longer have vision, dental, FSA, or dependent care flexible spending accounts.
@zande2016@noideawhatshesdoing @SmashJam@kissableviv +1 to so much of this! I'm starting to think this is a common male infliction - for which a y chromosone is not a valid excuse - and will be my first priority to counteract with my son! DH will stay up until 2-3 playing games on his phone, but snoozes until the last possible second and rushes out the door. Days we both go into the office he helps with morning chores, days i work from home he just skips out the door and leaves DD and dog to me (he gets meds 2x a day which he hates). We've had a couple fights about OPEN YOUR EYES to things that need doing and THINK about how doing some affects the rest of us. He's gotten better in the last year, he'll cleanup the whole kitchen by himself after DD goes to bed and picks up dinner if he's running super late, but will listen to DD yell "DADDY!" in her crib for 40 min while I'm on a meeting or walk right by dog poop...I still don't understand why this isn't common sense. I also make more than DH (though since my company doesn't give annual raises and his does, he's just about caught up again) but that doesn't stop him from thinking his job is more important than mine because he likes his and I don't...not sure how that factors into anything...
I'm not happy I'm not alone in this but it is a tad comforting to know that my DH is just acting like his peers instead of being that 1 oddball a-hole hubby. I am dealing with all the same crap from my DH too; very little help around the house, I'm being left to do all the dinners, shopping, laundry, bills, daycare drop off, all the cleaning, plus organizing our tiny house to fit baby #3, oh and work full time. Last night we ran out of overnight diapers for the kids. DH usually gets them in their PJs so he would be the only one to know we are out but does he remind me? He knew I was making a Target run at lunch yesterday. So instead I had to run last night since we are gearing up for MORE FRICKEN SNOW and then he made me carry everything in by myself.
Seriously just WTF all over yesterday. It was a complete suck @$$ day.
@zg49 OMG my H does that all the time, he will fail to tell me we are running low on something until one night he's like "oh, we're out of such and such." Um, you're the one who uses that every day so how was I supposed to know?? So aggravating.
I get home from work around 6:15. DH works on the road/from home. He usually gets home around 4pm. Technically on the clock until 5pm. Whenever I walk in the door, he is sitting on the couch napping/watching TV. Then most nights, he has the balls to ask me what is for dinner before I have even put my crap down. Like you could have started something an hour ago........... Plus I do the laundry/shopping/etc. I finally told him it bugs the ever loving crap out of me that he does this.. so we will see if it stops. I wouldn't care what chore he was doing as long as it was something helpful. But to be watching TV and then expect me to do shit as soon as I walk in the door just wasn't flying anymore. He is also the king of telling me what we needed from the food store as I am walking in with the groceries, even if I asked him before I went.
@zg49@zande2016 and @moguippy - RE the shopping list fiascos - we started doing a running Google Keep note that we share between us and whoever notices it's needed puts it on the list, and whoever is running the errand goes off the list - if it's not specifically written then no grounds for complaining - and that goes both ways - like I need to specify brand and or quantity if i want something for a recipe, and he needs to do the same instead of just saying "cereal" and "lunch meat". It's actually worked well!
I will give credit where credit is due, he is super helpful around the house. Never expects dinner to be ready and is totally self sufficient when it comes to food. And he shares most of the tasks - although for some I don't trust him because he is forgetful but for others I'm the one who tends to mess up so it's a balance.
Sometimes it's still an adjustment for him to not being able to do as he please as when he was a bachelor, I get that. I also want him to get as much sleep as possible now that he can, but I still don't understand how getting out of bed at 7:45am is considered outrageously early for him?and a 10 minute shower sure is enough? LOL.
H has been really helpful lately, he usually is, we split the cooking 50/50 and he gets up and gets ready while I hang out in bed just another 10 minutes. But he does occasionally slip into caveman mode, when that happens he knows he's in trouble because I'll play Deana Carter's "Did I Shave My Legs For This?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzWOa8loCDI on repeat at high volume. Immature? You bet, but message received.
@gingerbride26 I prefer direct confrontation, but I come from a long line of passive aggressive experts, and sometimes it just works. Lol. Somehow the socks magically make their way to the hamper for a long time after that.
Regarding husbands, yeah mine is pretty much the worst when it comes to helping around the house or with the kid. Before we had kids, I handled everything to do with the home even though we both worked. I quit my job to become a SAHM before my first was born. He had it in his head that since I was a SAHM, that makes him not responsible for anything at all. He did not do feedings, never woke up in the middle of the night (i actually slept downstairs on the couch w/ the baby in the pack n play so he wouldn't be interrupted), did not change diapers, and would not watch her while i went to the store. He did not stay home with her alone for more than 30 minutes until she was over 1 year old. And to this day (she is about 2 and 7 months), he has really only been alone with her while I'm at the store or something 4 times ever... and never for over an hour. I do all of the house work, dishes, laundry, cleaning, cooking, trash, taking care of the cars, taking care of the yard, paying bills, etc. Basically he works from home from 10 am until about 5 pm, and yes, I bring him his coffee and lunch to his desk. Also, I work from home at nights after I put the baby to bed, so usually I work about 2 to 4 hours a night, then go to bed.
And no, I'm not exaggerating on any of this. How did this happen? IMO it was the example set by his parents combined with me being a pushover. His dad was the exact same way regarding how the children were handled, although he was a tyrant about the home being LITERALLY spotless. I do clean the house every day, but I do not necessarily mop, vacuum, clean the bathrooms, etc. every day like she had to. Also his mom babied him and his sisters... brought them their food, cleaned their room, their bathrooms, etc.
The way I see it, I'm not really mad. I don't HAVE to work, I just like the extra money it affords us since I actually get paid pretty well for what I'm doing and it's helping us pay off some credit card debt that we've been sitting on since I quit my job. At the end of the day, he is missing out on so much time and experiences with his daughter. She is growing up so damn fast. I do wish I could have help while he just lounges around while I'm cleaning the house or whatever else I'm doing, but I have asked him and he always has an excuse. I'm not so miserable that I'd divorce him over it, and it's clearly not going to change, so I've just learned to adapt.
To all of those who haven't had their first kid yet, make sure you set down clear rules and expectations and make him adhere to it, because I have found from talking to others than men will take as much as you give them and once they have gotten away with something for so long, it's like an epic struggle to make them take on responsibilities that exceed the bare minimum.
Sorry to be a debbie downer, but it feels nice to rant sometimes.
Re: WTF Wednesday
W.T.F Wednesday. Are you over yet?
Will you have to reschedule your echo?
My WTF is this effing house! There is a puddle on the floor in one of our basement rooms...I tell DH and he's like yeah, its coming in from the wall. I go in to check it out and I was like, no its not coming from the wall its the ceiling! Big deal because this room is right below our bathroom. So I go back and say, "No its coming out of the ceiling!" And he's like, "Yeah, coming out of the ceiling and dripping down the wall and causing the floor puddle, right?" Turns out he's known about it for awhile but didn't want to stress me out. So I go back in to move the baby stuff which is RIGHT UNDER THE PANEL in the ceiling where the water is pooling and there is water pooled in some of the stuff (a little baby chair, the tub) and the cloth stuff that was there (covers for some of the toys that don't fold with covers on) are crusty like they used to be wet. I look up at the crib and its got drips on it too! So i move everything, dump the water, and move the drop ceiling panel. No water, but the insulation is clearly wet (I didn't mess with it really) and a weird color so now I have to call a plumber and a mold company to come check things out.
I was literally JUST thinking to myself that we were on our way to being more financially stable and thankful that we had no big expenses this month and...here we are. Hopefully its not too much of a problem and just a pipe or something with no mold.
@SmashJam water damage is the absolute worst
My WTF is my job/employees....or maybe me... still trying to decided if they're being dumb or i'm being hormonal or somewhere in the middle...
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@rachelsogo A Pea in the Pod is outrageously expensive IMO but I had good luck at destination maternity in Texas when my MIL treated me to new clothes. Lots of motherhood clothes and Jessica Simpson stuff and they had a deal on bras - I've honestly loved them! They are pretty basic, mind you, but so comfy! I'm going to Target next week for some babymoon bathing suits. I plan to just size up.
@SmashJam sorry about the water damage! It was my biggest fear when I owned my condo.
@zg49 sleep deprivation is a form of torture, sorry you were up so early.
No major WTF for me yet. Aside from my DH getting annoyed at having to use the dishwasher...he literally hates it...well guess what I don't want to do dishes sometimes and I wanna use the dishwasher! He literally got grumpy this am when I asked him to put the bowls in the dishwasher so I could run it before I leave for Texas tomorrow. So silly
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
I also just ordered some of my first maternity clothes from old navy and was pleased. They do run a little big so keep that in mind.
Also- why do kids do that? Poop right as you’re walking out the door??
@wildtot I'm that person all the time lol I have a weekly 7 am Wed meeting so we can meet with upper management and Europe and Asia (who stopped showing up, so the rest of us just drink coffee together or take it on the drive in) and I had an hour long 6 PM meeting on Valentines day. When doing global stuff 9 pm isn't abnormal either if you really need to talk to Asia.
@zande2016 ugh that is a WTF. DH does similar in terms of waking up with DD on weekends - at least he tends to say thank you for those days I let him sleep in :-/ Total BS about the car though - that's not cool.
When the baby is here there will be nothing of that. He will most likely have to watch the baby early in the am until he goes to work
I can't remember if you said or not but...does this change your insurance situation? Do you get to quit yours and get his and save some money?
@SmashJam @kissableviv
+1 to so much of this! I'm starting to think this is a common male infliction - for which a y chromosone is not a valid excuse - and will be my first priority to counteract with my son! DH will stay up until 2-3 playing games on his phone, but snoozes until the last possible second and rushes out the door. Days we both go into the office he helps with morning chores, days i work from home he just skips out the door and leaves DD and dog to me (he gets meds 2x a day which he hates). We've had a couple fights about OPEN YOUR EYES to things that need doing and THINK about how doing some affects the rest of us. He's gotten better in the last year, he'll cleanup the whole kitchen by himself after DD goes to bed and picks up dinner if he's running super late, but will listen to DD yell "DADDY!" in her crib for 40 min while I'm on a meeting or walk right by dog poop...I still don't understand why this isn't common sense. I also make more than DH (though since my company doesn't give annual raises and his does, he's just about caught up again) but that doesn't stop him from thinking his job is more important than mine because he likes his and I don't...not sure how that factors into anything...
Seriously just WTF all over yesterday. It was a complete suck @$$ day.
I get home from work around 6:15. DH works on the road/from home. He usually gets home around 4pm. Technically on the clock until 5pm. Whenever I walk in the door, he is sitting on the couch napping/watching TV. Then most nights, he has the balls to ask me what is for dinner before I have even put my crap down. Like you could have started something an hour ago........... Plus I do the laundry/shopping/etc. I finally told him it bugs the ever loving crap out of me that he does this.. so we will see if it stops. I wouldn't care what chore he was doing as long as it was something helpful. But to be watching TV and then expect me to do shit as soon as I walk in the door just wasn't flying anymore. He is also the king of telling me what we needed from the food store as I am walking in with the groceries, even if I asked him before I went.
Sometimes it's still an adjustment for him to not being able to do as he please as when he was a bachelor, I get that. I also want him to get as much sleep as possible now that he can, but I still don't understand how getting out of bed at 7:45am is considered outrageously early for him?and a 10 minute shower sure is enough? LOL.
And no, I'm not exaggerating on any of this. How did this happen? IMO it was the example set by his parents combined with me being a pushover. His dad was the exact same way regarding how the children were handled, although he was a tyrant about the home being LITERALLY spotless. I do clean the house every day, but I do not necessarily mop, vacuum, clean the bathrooms, etc. every day like she had to. Also his mom babied him and his sisters... brought them their food, cleaned their room, their bathrooms, etc.
The way I see it, I'm not really mad. I don't HAVE to work, I just like the extra money it affords us since I actually get paid pretty well for what I'm doing and it's helping us pay off some credit card debt that we've been sitting on since I quit my job. At the end of the day, he is missing out on so much time and experiences with his daughter. She is growing up so damn fast. I do wish I could have help while he just lounges around while I'm cleaning the house or whatever else I'm doing, but I have asked him and he always has an excuse. I'm not so miserable that I'd divorce him over it, and it's clearly not going to change, so I've just learned to adapt.
To all of those who haven't had their first kid yet, make sure you set down clear rules and expectations and make him adhere to it, because I have found from talking to others than men will take as much as you give them and once they have gotten away with something for so long, it's like an epic struggle to make them take on responsibilities that exceed the bare minimum.
Sorry to be a debbie downer, but it feels nice to rant sometimes.