STM Check in/Chat 3/19

ecwk

How far along are you? How big is baby? 

Age(s) of other child(ren)? 

Rants/Raves?

Questions?

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 

melprop

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
19w 4d - the size of a large mango or heirloom tomato
Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
7yo
Rants/Raves?
Rave: We finally have several good den leaders and parent volunteers at cub scouts, and everything is going so much better than last year at this time when DH had just become cubmaster. 
Rant: Seasonal allergies are coming back. Yay. My daily Claritin is not enough, and I’m taking Benadryl at night now. 
Questions?
None I can think of. 
GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 
First I thought of my car, but I’m calling that an absolute necessity since I have no access to public transportation. Probably my iPhone. I can go without it, and I often do depending on what we’re doing, but I basically run my life from it. 

elsieisamoocow

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
19w5d. As big as a hot dog or a Game Boy. 
Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
3
Rants/Raves?
Rant: This pregnancy was going so quickly, which I was very happy about because of my PGAL brain. But these last 2ish weeks have been sloooooowwwww and it's killing me. Just get me to 24 weeks so I can relax a bit please. Also, I've basically had a runny nose/post nasal drip since the BFP and it's annoying. I thought I'd be clear after my cold cleared up but nope, now I still have a drippy nose plus I'm sneezing all the time. 
Questions?
Nope.
GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 
As much as I hate to say it, my iPhone. It's the only contact I have to most people, like my mom, friends, and most of the day to DH. I could do it (and I've recently thought about really limiting my usage while DS is awake), but it would be challenging. I also wouldn't know where or when I'm supposed to be anywhere without the calendar in my phone.

dirtanddiamonds

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
20w2d - a banana?!

Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
4yo
8yo
13yo

Rants/Raves?
Rave: loving my mom-mobile. I was hesitant to go with the soccer mom SUV. But... it’s lovely. 

Rant: Everything flooded today (day 3 of rain) and has me just in a bad mood. lol. I’ve been bitchy to SO the last couple days. For no real reason. Just mad at the world. 

Questions?
Is is too soon to be sooooo ready to be done being pregnant. Lol. Of course I want babygirl to be a healthy 40 weeker but I wish that was tomorrow. Haha.
 
GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 
Sadly, recently, FB blocked me for a day (my friend’s husband committed suicide and some of his friends were blaming her, as they were separated, and I went to bat because f*** that horseshit) and it was the longest day ever. So, apparently, FB is life. 

7425cait

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
18 weeks 1 day a coissant

Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
2.5

Rants/Raves?
Rant: My in-home daycare closed suddenly and left us with zero notice. Also, we are supposed to get hit with another whopper of a snow storm. 
Rave: DD had her first day at a real preschool yesterday, and did wonderfully! 

Questions?
None that I can think of.

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without?
TV. I go without it often, but I feel run ragged if I don't get a half hour in of mindless drivel in at the end of the day. 

lalala2004

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
19 weeks. Mango or old game boy. Seems big!
Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
22 months
Rants/Raves?
I was ready for warm weather, but not seasonal allergies, damnit!

Yesterday DS’s cousin shoved/hit him right in the mouth. It didn’t hurt him, but it hurt his feelings to bad, and his sad crying face was heartbreaking. My BIL and SIL made her apologize and when she did he said “Bye bye” through his tears. He was done with her! So sad, but so cute.

Questions?

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? Add my name to needing my phone. I hate that, but everything is on it.

ajesq2

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
19 weeks +3- Game boy
Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
Almost 18 months
Rants/Raves?
Fighting a cold with no meds but Vicks vapo rub.....ugggh! Also, woke up nauseous this morning, wtf, morning sickness has been done for a while now. 
Questions?
None
GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 
Sounds awful to say, but probably my phone. Lots of pictures, calls, and texts every day. 

lolog531

How far along are you? How big is baby? 16+4 - avocado or an eclair

Age(s) of other child(ren)? DS will be 3 in May

Rants/Raves? Rant: I don't know if it's allergies or a cold, but I"m stuffy with a sinus headache and itchy/sore throat. GO AWAY.
Rave: I just ate a delicious breakfast burrito, so I'm currently happy

Questions? We talk to DS about his 'baby brother' all the time now, but I want him to really understand that there will be an actual baby in a handful of months. What else can I do to prepare him? Get him a doll to practice with? I'm so clueless.

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? Another one for my phone. It has all my contacts, my calendar, basically everything I need to the outside world. I've been trying to be more present while at home and put it down (hence why I'm not here as frequently), but it's so dang hard.

mrsbubbles-2

How far along are you? How big is baby? 18 + 4

Age(s) of other child(ren)? DSS is 13 and DS is 1.5

Rants/Raves? Most of my rants are about DSS today. He's in trouble for lying about homework being done or what assignments he has. We're realizing that we can't trust what he tells us anymore and have to go back and check the parent portal to see what he's got going on and then he gets in MORE trouble because he's lied about an assignment that's due the next day or something. So it's been hard on us and we're trying to figure out a solid plan because what we're doing obviously isn't working. @lalala2004 - you brought up such a good point that stuck with me in the blended families thread that he's probably starting to feel beat down about it all, so we're going to try to find a motivator that he responds to or find some way to reward the good behavior, like if he's got all his homework done and offers to do a chore or something. So it's a work in progress.

Meanwhile DS is learning new and unique ways to destroy my living room lol! So we're looking forward to some nice weather this weekend to get out to the park and let him burn off some energy

Questions? I've been so achey lately, between my pelvis / groin joint area (does that make any sense at all?) and the RLP I feel like I'm already 38 weeks. Does anyone have a good remedy for the groin pain? I though about a pregnancy belt but we're on such a tight budget with DH out of work that I'd like to try pretty much everything else under the sun before I have to buy anything. My OB just said it was normal pregnancy pain but it gets hard playing with DS and chasing him around

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? Some form of hoodie or sweatshirt. I'm always cold so that's a borderline absolute necessity for me!

ecwk

@lolog531
Check out some childrens' books at your local library about becoming a big sibling. 

That makes me sad @lalala2004  


How far along are you? How big is baby? 
19+5 / Artichoke 

Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
DS is 2 TOMORROW! 

Rants/Raves?
This is long, it'a about DS. If you can get through it, I thank you. 

He is continually hitting other kids at daycare. Well, one in particular (it is a very small in home daycare). He scratches them in the face. It is embarassing. It is stressful. I am heartbroken for the poor boy who was the victim yesterday. And I am heartbroken for my child whom I know to be sweet and snuggly and sensitive and empathetic. He lacks impulse control, which is normal for his age. He is not great at verbal communication yet. He reacts when he gets frustrated. One of the worst parts is that I am not with him when these things happen and I have no power to control it or to redirect or to intervene. It is seriously breaking my heart - I have cried so much about it - I feel absolutely wretched. Daycare lady asked my opinion on timeouts. I said it is not something we do and I don't really believe in them. But I was so upset when I got home, I talked to my parents and they reassured me and calmed me and said it would be no harm to let her give it a try with him. To look at it like a little break from a stressful situation, a moment to reflect. But of course as soon as I look it up online I am confronted with articles and such saying how ineffective it is and how damaging it could be? So my heart is so heavy with guilt. He cannot contintue to physically hurt others like this, I know that. I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. The guilt and sadness (and mixed with hormone) is overwhelming. I feel like a crap mom. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Would love to hear from moms who have done timeouts. Otherwise I'll feel even worse. Blah. 

Questions? See above. 

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 
Hmm I should have included phones in the necessities. For me it'd be my phone too. After that, I'm not sure! My car, I guess 

calimom2524

How far along are you? How big is baby? 18w4d baby is big enough I can feel kicks but not big enough to feel them on my bladder

Age(s) of other child(ren)? 3 and 5

Rants/Raves? My two bosses (the CEO and the COO) are coming today and I'm soooo excited. I LOVE them! The CEO is from New Zealand and I could listen to him talk all day long. 

Questions? Is it August yet?

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? I kinda feel like at this point cell phones are a necessity so I don't count that for this! I hate to say that but I mean, look at our lives. I think I couldn't go a single day without my airpods. I almost always have one in if not both with either music or podcasts going and I need them to call my best friend on my way to work every morning. 

Holy crap @dirtanddiamonds that is some crazy shit! I would have gone to bat too. 

mrsbubbles-2

@ecwk - I'm so sorry. You are absolutely not a crap mom - you are an amazing mom because you care so damn much that it's tearing you to pieces and making you cry.
We haven't gotten to that age with DS so I'm afraid my advice is more theoretical than anything. Is there more information that your day care provider can give, like what is going on with the kids before these incidents happen? Are they happily playing together, or is there a toy or something else involved? Is there a way to have the kids play in separate areas for a bit, or are there warning signs that your DS is getting frustrated that the day care provider can watch out for? These are what I would address before putting your DS in a time out. Does he really understand what he is being punished for, if not then the punishment isn't fitting IMO. Again, it's all theoretical but don't doubt your awesomness. Big hugs, sweetie

@lolog531 - I love the idea of getting him a doll! We might do the same thing with DS, just to reinforce the 'gentle' behavior. Maybe get a pack of newborn diapers and "change" the baby doll's diaper - your DS could help get the diaper, sing a song to the baby while you change it, etc.

@lalala2004 - aw, poor DS! Did he want to play with her later?

LC12261012

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
21w, endive or carrot 

Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
4 and 1

Rants/Raves?
We have two months to find a new place and move, and so far we haven’t found anything promising. I am so stressed over this, it’s been keeping me up at night. On top of that our car needs repairs and I got into a minor fender bender the other day. I’m just a big ball of stress right now. 

Questions?
No. 

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 
Definitely my phone. 

livinthesunnylife

How far along are you? How big is baby? 17+4, baby is the size of a softball according to the man guide, which is my new favorite thing.  I'm sad I didn't find this for week 12 lolololol.

Age(s) of other child(ren)?  16M

Rants/Raves? 
Rant: Ugh, DS has been perfectly sleep trained for 5 months and now he's clutching me and screaming at night when I put him down.  Here we go re-sleep training tonight minus the wine.  How does anyone sleep train without wine?! 
Rave:  I bought him (or really myself) 12 new books and they came yesterday.  Hallelujah for some new reading material cause I was about to poke an eyeball out reading the same things over and over. 

Questions?

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? Everyone said phone so I'll try to be unique.....Is chapstick/lip gloss a necessity?  Cause I forgot I took it out of the stroller when we walked to the park for swim lessons on Saturday and I thought I was going to die in those 2 hours.  Addicted, definitely addicted.

scottishlass1213

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
20 weeks, banana
Age(s) of other child(ren
DS who is 4, be 5 in a couple weeks

Rants/Raves?
Tired of this weather. 60 yesterday. Sleeting now. 5-10” snow tomorrow. 

Other than that just dealing with DS who is either highly emotional or crazy the last few weeks. Definitely regressing at bedtime and some things. I think he’s starting to get scared thinking he’s going to lose me to the baby. He keeps telling DH that he can watch the baby so we can cuddle haha

Questions?

same as my Tuesday check in. DS’s baby car seats manufacture date is 2012. Britax site says 6 years so do you guys think I’m good?? I’d really hate to have to rebuy. It’s great condition we never had issues, recalls or accidents. 

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 

Oh man same as others either tv or phone. So sad hahaha. Actually phone because I can still Netflix on it. 

livinthesunnylife

@scottishlass1213 is it 6 years of use?  Or just 6 years in the closet?  Cause that doesn't really make sense to me.  I could see how constant use for 6 years would wear it out. 

lolog531

@ecwk We have done timeouts with DS. I was always one who said I wasn't sure if I would, but there are situations where we have found it the best thing. It is mainly when he repeatedly does something or does not listen when we try to correct him. It isn't like "you misbehaved now you get a timeout". If he sasses back to us, doesn't listen, etc. we say you have 2 choices, you either "do whatever it is we want/need him to do" or you go to the timeout chair. (they are big on the choices at daycare, so we try and follow suit). More often than note he chooses to do what we want, but if says no again, then to the timeout chair he goes. It seems effective in that it doesn't happen often because he is not a fan of them!

At DS's school - they do not practice timeouts. In his current room they have a "Camp Calm" - it is in the corner of the room and it has a couple bean bag chairs, cute table and an outdoor theme to go along with the 'camp' part of it. When they misbehave, get upset or emotional, his teachers send them to camp calm. It is a place for them to go and calm down, relax, reflect on whatever they did and once they seem back to normal, they re-enter into the activity with the rest of the class. He's only been in the current room since January, but the teachers have found it very effective for all of them. Maybe your daycare provider can try something similar to that? Kind of baby step into the timeouts?

Also, Hugs. Lots of hugs.

livinthesunnylife

@ecwk I'm so sorry!  I'm on the other side of it, DS was scratched really badly on the face last week.  If it makes you feel any better I know there's nothing the daycare or the parents can do.  I just asked them to please ask the parents to keep their child's fingernails cut because the slice on DS's face was pretty deep and 2"+.  I know it seems really simple, but maybe keeping his nails short will at least minimize the hurt caused?  I'm not sure I really think timeouts work at this age either.  What were the kids doing before it happened?  I guess ours were fighting over a toy- maybe the teacher could intervene when she sees this behavior to deescalate the situation? 

lolog531

@ecwk Good idea about the library! Ours is walking distance from our house, so we will definitely check that out! They have a great kids area, so I"m sure they have something!
@mrsbubbles-2 That is a cute idea with the diapers! I even could get some of his newborn onesies and have him see those and dressing the doll, too.

scottishlass1213

@livinthesunnylife everything I’ve read online says 6 years from the manufacturing date in the car seat. It was only used oh geez I don’t even know, less than a year and has since sat in our attic. I read it’s because safety things may change the longer you own them but everything seems the same. 

aj1327

@ecwk DS went through a major hitting phase at 2 and is in another one now. I started time outs but don’t call it that and I also don’t leave him there. He sits on the step for one minute and I sit with him. At 2, we practiced taking deep breaths, and calming down, and I would repeat, you cannot hit. I also bought the book hands are not for hitting. One morning he was on the stair probably 10 times in an hour, but it got MUCH better after that day. Now that he’s closer to three, I sit with him and practice using words like, “I am angry.” Its tough and I’m sorry you’re struggling with this right now. Hang in there.

lolog531

Oh, we also do 'deep breaths' as @amac12999 said. If DS gets worked up, I have him take deep breaths. I do them with him and we typically do 3 (or more) until he calms down. They work really well and we've been using those for quite awhile now. The timeouts are typically our last resort if nothing else seems to be working.

7425cait

@ecwk I feel your pain on every level. DD is a frustration biter. Usually over a toy. She was at an in home daycare center too, and I noticed a lot of the time the age difference (she was the oldest) contributed to the negative action. We most definitely do time outs, and call them that. I asked the pediatrician about appropriate punishments, and she said time outs are completely acceptable. So if she doesn't listen after a warning and counting to three, she goes in for a couple minutes. Or if she physically hurts someone, she absolutely goes in. I'm not sure how much your son comprehends at his age, but when DD just turned 2 she understood that if she did xyz, she got a chocolate chip. If she understands that, then she also understands that negative behavior equates to some form of punishment. I'm not talking spanking, but if she doesn't clean up her toys, then she doesn't get to play with them for the rest of the day, or a time out for hitting. If anything it is a place for her to cool down, and we always talk about it after. We roll play scenarios of what to say and do, and honestly, she just switched schools, so I'm hoping that being in a room with kids her own age is going to make a huge difference. But again, with the time outs, I truly don't believe that it is going to scar her in any way. She is still affectionate, cuddly, and sweet. She just sometimes needs to be held accountable for her actions.

alinafed

ecwk said:

He is continually hitting other kids at daycare. Well, one in particular (it is a very small in home daycare). He scratches them in the face. It is embarassing. It is stressful. I am heartbroken for the poor boy who was the victim yesterday. And I am heartbroken for my child whom I know to be sweet and snuggly and sensitive and empathetic. He lacks impulse control, which is normal for his age. He is not great at verbal communication yet. He reacts when he gets frustrated. One of the worst parts is that I am not with him when these things happen and I have no power to control it or to redirect or to intervene. It is seriously breaking my heart - I have cried so much about it - I feel absolutely wretched. Daycare lady asked my opinion on timeouts. I said it is not something we do and I don't really believe in them. But I was so upset when I got home, I talked to my parents and they reassured me and calmed me and said it would be no harm to let her give it a try with him. To look at it like a little break from a stressful situation, a moment to reflect. But of course as soon as I look it up online I am confronted with articles and such saying how ineffective it is and how damaging it could be? So my heart is so heavy with guilt. He cannot contintue to physically hurt others like this, I know that. I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. The guilt and sadness (and mixed with hormone) is overwhelming. I feel like a crap mom. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Would love to hear from moms who have done timeouts. Otherwise I'll feel even worse. Blah. 

I have done timeouts. Believe me you are not going to damage him. The Internet will say that about literally any parenting technique or belief that is out there - so what are we supposed to do, just never set boundaries for our kids? I think that is way worse than time outs! Anyway it doesn't hurt to try. I have read a few different parenting books with a few different "punishment" techniques, but it is fair to instill consequences for behaviour, and if the daycare teacher needs to deal with 5 kids a time out might be necessary for her as well. All to say, kids should definitely have consequences for their behaviour, so if you are not a fan of timeouts then maybe suggest something else. I agree with them being ineffective for super young kids, but when my 2yo DS gets threatened with a timeout he definitely knows what it is and usually it is enough to stop his behaviour (he has had one or two in the past but obviously we do try to do other things first). My older one no longer usually needs them but there was a time that he did. I think redirection makes sense when it is a baby but at 2 if they are being physically aggressive (even if its impulse control or whatever) there should be a consequence. I don't mean this harshly at all - just trying to support you that you won't run your kid! She can try time outs and see if it helps and if not maybe try something else.

melprop

@scottishlass1213 It’s supposed to be 6 years from the manufacture date. The plastics can wear out over time d/t weather conditions, being in the sun in cars, etc. I personally would still use it, but I don’t use infant seats very long and wouldn’t buy one if I already had one.

Check with your hospital to make sure they don’t consider it to be expired. As long as they don’t you should be fine, especially if you plan to transfer the baby to a convertible seat within a few months.

alinafed

ecwk said:

He is continually hitting other kids at daycare.

I can't tag so sorry for having to quote twice but I saw someone above mentioned deep breaths. I definitely think time outs are not a substitute for teaching him coping mechanisms for dealing with big feelings. That seems to be one of the hardest parts of being a kid so I do think that would make sense and be helpful also. I remember buying DS1 books about what it means to be angry, what it means to be sad... learning about emotions, how to deal with tough situations etc is such an ongoing thing for kids. I definitely think you and the daycare provider can continue with that too but also use timeouts when necessary. It doesn't have to be one or the other exclusively.

lalala2004

@ecwk we do time outs, but we warn him/give him a chance. Like “If you do XYZ again you’re going in time out.” Because I don’t expect him to always remember that is an automatic punishment.

@mrsbubbles-2 we actually were about
to leave at the time, so he knew we were going “bye bye” soon. He just isn’t usually one to ask to leave!

scottishlass1213

We don’t do timeouts a lot. For DS, taking away something is more effective and then sitting and talking to him about why and things like that. 

ecwk

Thanks everyone for your advice/input/experience. It truly is valuable to me to hear from other moms and not some "expert" online. My biggest worries are a) that he won't understand - although I think he will and b)that it is not ME who is there. That' a "worry" as such, it's just something that make me so very sad. I hate being away from him and I wish I could SAH and be there and do it 1000000% my way. But I know I have to relinquish a little control and that's normal. 
@alinafed
I know you're an experienced mom, I really appreciate word. Just hearing that I am not going to "damage" him does make me feel so much better. 
@7425cait
I am sorry you have gone through this too. DS went through a biting phase too, it was awful too! Thanks so much for the empathy! 
@amac12999
So "nice" to hear from people who have experienced the same thing. Makes me feel a lot less alone although obviously it sucks that you and your family had to deal with it too. Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it! 
@livinthesunnylife
I am SO sorry your poor baby got scratched. I feel absolutely AWFUL for the little boy my DS did that to. I do keep his nails as short as I possible can. He's just able to still scratch with them. Maybe I should have him wear gloves. Kidding. Kind of. I'm sure the parent of the aggressor feels absolutely awful about it, such a shitty situation. No one feels good! I am glad to hear you say you don't blame the parent because I sure do feel guilty as hell and hope the other parent won't judge me. 
Thanks @mrsbubbles-2 for your help. DS lashes out when he is frustrated, it's usually over a toy or food or something. I think the daycare does a pretty good job of intervening before anything happens but it's not always possible. Yesterday, it was just DS, another 2 year old and a baby. The daycare lady was changing the baby's diaper and it happened so quickly, there is nothing she could have done. 
@lalala2004
Oh I definitely agree with you - I wouldn't expect him to remember. Although if it is a highly charged situation I can see where it would be necessary to remove him without warning but with ample explanation. 

I think I tagged everyone! I am sorry if I missed you! Thank you guys so much!! 

livinthesunnylife

@ecwk No, I wish that parent felt awful.  But the owner told me that he personally spoke to the parent and the kid came back the next day with nails just as long so the daycare will be trimming his nails from now on.  He told me they were very long and sharp like they were breaking off- which is probably what caused the scratch to be so big. 

Firemanswife11

@ecwk We do timeouts. DS is 3.5. We also spank. Y'all are making me feel awful about that BUT DS is somewhat of a dragon child (very strong willed, spirited, whatever you want to call them, but sometimes I just say he can be an a-hole). I definitely need to try other methods but both DH and I were spanked and have no resulting damage...I think. In all seriousness, I think timeout is effective if the child understands why they are there. DS was (is??? sometimes he still does it but it's very rare) a biter at school and it went on for a long, long, LOOOONG time. I actually had him moved back to the younger classroom after about 2 months in "Pre K" because he was just not doing well with the older kids he moved up with. Some of them were old enough for kindergarten. My 3 yo did not need to be with kids that much older. So much can change in even a couple of months at this age. 

@LC12261012 We moved when I was pregnant last time and while it was stressful, it was doable. Sorry you've got such a short time frame to work with. And hope you get the car stuff figured out soon, too!

@7425cait Fellow bite mom here. It sucks being the mom of a biter. The frustration we feel as parents is awful. But at the same time, there are things other kids do (pushing, stealing food, etc) and things parents themselves do (bring sick, feverish kids to school) that are just as bad, if not worse, IMO. So I try to look at it like that when I get upset over DS. Yes, biting is bad, but I have to remember that no one is perfect and kids do eventually grow out of it. My sister was a biter and now at 26, she's pretty much cured!! :haha:

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
18+4, artichoke 

Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
Every bit of 3.5

Rants/Raves?
I have a major headache so I took 2 Excedrin Tension pills and 2 Benadryls and I feel high. This is the only thing that somewhat works and is safe for me to take during pregnancy. I have to go run an emergency drill with volunteers in about an hour and I hope I can get sentences out of my mouth by then. I sound drunk right now. Lol. 

Questions?
Anyone know if it's ok to drink Pedialyte fairly often? I find this also helps with the headaches but I drank a whole liter yesterday and am working on another (but I also drank a big Gatorade this morning too) .... I feel like that's probably not good. Idk. It's good for hangovers. I feel hungover all the time ... Lol. Anyway ... I guess I will ask my doctor if I keep worrying about it. I drink a lot of liquid anyway, water included, so maybe I should just stop worrying so much. 

GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 
My phone because I am its slave. 

LC12261012

@livinthesunnylife oh yes chapstick is a good one. If I’m stuck somewhere without one my lips feel 100 times drier, it’s such a mental thing. 

@scottishlass1213 I would use it. Infant seats are used for such a short amount of time I’m sure it’s fine, and would probably be a waste of money to buy a new one. 

lalala2004

@scottishlass1213 it’s 6 years because the parts degrade, it’s not 6 years of continuous use. I wouldn’t use it. Might as well just start with a convertible seat so you won’t have to buy multiple new car seats.

mrsbubbles-2

@scottishlass1213 - I don't think I would use it. I think there's a trade-in event at Target where you can get a discount on a new one though, if that would help?

7425cait

@Firemanswife11 being the parent of a biter is truly awful. But I hope the victims know we are trying our best. We've done punishments, talking about feeling, roll playing alternative actions (asking for help), prize chart, etc. It's just something she is going to have to grow out of. Hopefully quickly with our help. Buuuut...ine day I was at her old daycare for longer than I normally am, and saw the same kid push another kid like 4 times. I was secretly thrilled to know it's not just my kid that is the aggressor. Also, Im sorry if I made you feel bad about the spanking. I try not to spank, but DD has gotten a swat on the behind or hand a couple of times for bad/dangerous behavior. 

aj1327

@Firemanswife11 I’ve popped DS a few times on the butt. I really try not to because DH is really against it, but yeah, I have. And I’ve told DH every time. 

lolog531

DS got bit repeatedly by the same child in his last classroom. I always empathized with the biter’s parents because I knew getting that report was even harder than getting the report of being bit. We talked to the teacher(s) a lot about how best to tackle the issue with both kids and the other parents were being very proactive. I feel for anyone involved in situations like this because no matter what, it just downright sucks

Secretstapler

@ecwk I think most things have been said, but I just want to add a few things, even though they're likely not the first time you've heard them. 

It's hard for all kids to understand what not to do if you don't give them something else to do instead.  So maybe you can help him find something else to do with his frustration, like say "stop!" or stomp his feet.  And remind him what to do when he starts to get agitated, then gives of reinforcement if he does them.  And I think somebody maybe mentioned this, but you can talk about how it's okay to feel mad, but it's not okay to hit. 

As for time outs, I think they can actually be really helpful if they are framed as a chance to step back and calm down, not as isolation as a form of punishment.

My understanding is that spanking as a punishment just teaches kids that you should hit people who aren't doing what you want.  It also teaches kids to obey to avoid being punished, rather than to be good because it's the right thing to do.  I know you weren't considering spanking, but I wanted to put that out there.  People are right that you can find someone on the internet who is sure that anything you do will cause life long damage, but the research on spanking is pretty clear.

Also, remember that consistency is essential for setting consequences, and it can take some time for them to work.  So if you don't see results in a few days, it may be better to wait a while longer for the relationship to be thoroughly understood, rather than switch to something else.

Also, I have my own two year old, but we've been lucky enough to not have a problem with hitting or biting.  I'd like to claim it's because we're such awesome parents and all of these strategies worked, but I know it's more DS's nature than anything else.  So I know that (most) parents of kids who hit feel terrible about it and are doing everything they can to stop it.  You are definitely not a terrible mother.  I think hitting is just part of being two, and in some ways it's good that he's learning these boundaries now, before he's big enough to really hurt someone.

pghctwife

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
19w 5 - a mango or hedgehog - bigger really bc she’s measuring ahead a bit
Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
7 (in 3w), 5, and 2.5 (3 in June)
Rants/Raves?
Rave: great anatomy scan yesterday! Slowly feeling better physically. I need to push water more, it makes a real difference.
rant: having a hard time getting clothes that fit. I want to just go to a store and try things on but there aren’t many options anymore. And my sweet 2 year old is starting in on the tantrums and destruction and frustration that comes from 2/3yo
Questions?
Logically I know I have ages, months even. But tell me anyhow... at what point do babies need to flip by? When do they normally turn head down for the duration? My boys were all head down from like, implantation
GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 
my phone. Though if I was forced to be without it it might be a good thing (but omg). 

pghctwife

elsieisamoocow said:

How far along are you? How big is baby? 
19w5d. As big as a hot dog or a Game Boy. 
Age(s) of other child(ren)? 
3
Rants/Raves?
Rant: This pregnancy was going so quickly, which I was very happy about because of my PGAL brain. But these last 2ish weeks have been sloooooowwwww and it's killing me. Just get me to 24 weeks so I can relax a bit please. Also, I've basically had a runny nose/post nasal drip since the BFP and it's annoying. I thought I'd be clear after my cold cleared up but nope, now I still have a drippy nose plus I'm sneezing all the time. 
Questions?
Nope.
GTKY:  Apart from the absolute necessities (and the people you love) what would you find it extremely hard to go a single day without? 
As much as I hate to say it, my iPhone. It's the only contact I have to most people, like my mom, friends, and most of the day to DH. I could do it (and I've recently thought about really limiting my usage while DS is awake), but it would be challenging. I also wouldn't know where or when I'm supposed to be anywhere without the calendar in my phone.

I was really focused on the anatomy scan... confirm everything looked good and another heartbeat check, and I was worried if my blood work was somehow wrong and not a girl..., nowbthat that’s done. Can’t wait for viability!!! I can’t believe it’s coming so fast. 

Ove had the runny nose too. Every morning I have to blow it, and it’s aleays red tinged like ‘shit please no bloody nose pleasd’ And I always feel like there’s something in there that won’t blow out.

ecwk

Secretstapler said:

@ecwk I think most things have been said, but I just want to add a few things, even though they're likely not the first time you've heard them. 

It's hard for all kids to understand what not to do if you don't give them something else to do instead.  So maybe you can help him find something else to do with his frustration, like say "stop!" or stomp his feet.  And remind him what to do when he starts to get agitated, then gives of reinforcement if he does them.  And I think somebody maybe mentioned this, but you can talk about how it's okay to feel mad, but it's not okay to hit. 

As for time outs, I think they can actually be really helpful if they are framed as a chance to step back and calm down, not as isolation as a form of punishment.

My understanding is that spanking as a punishment just teaches kids that you should hit people who aren't doing what you want.  It also teaches kids to obey to avoid being punished, rather than to be good because it's the right thing to do.  I know you weren't considering spanking, but I wanted to put that out there.  People are right that you can find someone on the internet who is sure that anything you do will cause life long damage, but the research on spanking is pretty clear.

Also, remember that consistency is essential for setting consequences, and it can take some time for them to work.  So if you don't see results in a few days, it may be better to wait a while longer for the relationship to be thoroughly understood, rather than switch to something else.

I know and I agree and I do these things when I am with him it’s just that I’m not with him the vast majority of the times that this occurs so that sucks! Thanks for the help! 

ETA and sorry to be nit picking here, but I really don’t believe “nature” is the right word. Obviously I’m feeling shit about this so I’m likely to be extra sensitive, but it just seems to imply that while your child may not hit, that it is in my child’s nature to be violent and I don’t think that’s the case either. He is sensitive and empathetic, but he also lacks impulse control. I don’t think that speaks to a child’s nature at all, perhaps more their development.