IF testing and treatment week of 3/19/18

purplg8r

@dragonette505 I think I’ll end up testing on Thursday (10dpiui.  Prob too early but...) and I’d be so pissed about the meds issue too!!  When do you need them by?

dragonette505

purplg8r said:

@dragonette505 I think I’ll end up testing on Thursday (10dpiui.  Prob too early but...) and I’d be so pissed about the meds issue too!!  When do you need them by?

I always feel like 10 days is perfect to start testing!! But don't listen to me.... I will start testing so early it would make you laugh!
I need my meds by Monday.. but you know how it is... normally I will have meds weeks even a month before starting because things change. Plus you don't want to worry about cancelling a cycle because your meds didn't come!. I basically fussed and told them to find a local pharmacy and just let it be filled there (since it was their error) and I got most of my order that way. I just have one more thing I need, but I don't need it until right before transfer so I have a few weeks for that.

leilee101

@hlb8179 I always use a cup for OPKs, just seems way easier and more consistent 
@ndz2018 Yay for AF!You must be so excited, transfer so soon. And honestly didn't even think about Zika, I totally forgot that was a thing! I'll stock up on all the bug spray, mosquitoes love me  
@dragonette505 I would be soo pissed about the meds, even if you ordered them in plenty of time. It's frustrating to have to rely on so many moving parts and not being able to control even the simplest things!

I just had CD11 monitoring, they said one follie is 11mm and one is 13.5. I'm super nervous because we leave for vaca Wednesday morning and I am really hoping that we can get our first IUI in before we head out. It's one of those thing, like what's another month when we're coming up on 1.5 years, but just anxious to get this all started - we've been in limbo for so long. 

dragonette505

@leilee101 these cycles are already so nerve wracking and crazy making! Lol luckily I just need one more thing! Hope you can get your iui in! It’s always SO hard to booo travel with these cycles (I also have some worry about a trip I’ve got planned) lolol it’s never ending! 

Avrilmai

@emmasemm dreaming about being KU is rough. many hugs. I hope next cycle gets here soon and you can move forward with out delay.
@darkstar42 I'm on Letrozole 5mg. As for the therapist, don't knock yourself. You're doing it now and that is what matters. I hope you find someone who is a good fit. 
@dragonette505 ugh. that med situation is so frustrating on top of an already frustrating/emotional situation. I'm so glad you were able to get most of what you need. FX the last med arrives quickly. 
@leilee101 FX you get the IUI in before you leave. we actually had to wait a cycle to start because of travel scheduled right in the middle of a cycle. 

JennyColada

Hi new friends! I was a bit active on TTGP/BOTB, took a little hiatus, and I guess now is a good time to be back.

Diagnosis (if you've been): Nothing yet, first appt scheduled Tuesday.

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Testing I suppose.

How are things going?: They've been ok, albeit a bit frustrating.

Any questions?: I will probably have tons after Tuesday. I know it has been covered before (so please share links to prior posts, I had trouble finding much), but are there any specific questions I should come armed with for my first visit to our RE? Thankfully it is an in-network provider through insurance so that's good, but I honestly have NO idea about how this works or anything.

GTKY: What did you want to be when you were younger ?? For a while I wanted to be an editor of a travel magazine. No real reason why, but I like travel and I like reading, so it seemed like something that would combine some of my interests.

suzycupcake

@JennyColada Welcome back. I didn't have any questions my first RE appointment because I was overwhelmed, but doing a quick google search, these are great questions to ask, and are things I learned along the way that are important: (I don't know if the qualifications question is necessary since you probably already looked up his/her credentials)

https://attainfertility.com/understanding-fertility/trying-to-conceive/when-to-see-a-fertility-specialist/your-first-appointment/

and this one for what the other didn't mention https://circlebloom.com/the-13-key-questions-to-ask-your-reproductive-endocrinologist

JennyColada

@suzycupcake thanks for that! I found a couple things on The Googles but didn't see those two, I like the links you shared!

lurvleybunchococonuts

*super dirty lurking lurker*
@JennyColada hey girl! Hope you're doing good! Praying your stay back in TTGP/IF is short I noticed you had stopped posting a while back and was wondering where you had disappeared to. *hugs* hope you have a great first RE appt and get some answers

ndz2018

@JennyColada Welcome and sorry you find yourself here. Our 1st RE app was back in Oct and I honestly thought i’d have a million questions but our dr pretty much touched on everything we could think of at the consultation.  GL on your appointment and I hope your stay here is short.

darkstar42

@dragonette505 Sorry you’ve had to deal with all those pharmacy mix ups! It sucks to have extra stress on top of an already stressful situation. Your FET is coming up so soon though! How exciting!

@leilee101 Fx that those follies grow in time for the IUI before vacation!

@Avrilmai You’re right, there’s no sense beating myself up for not doing this sooner. That can be a dangerous road to go down!

@JennyColada Hey there! Make sure you ask the RE how you can contact them to ask more questions after your appointment. The first appointment is so overwhelming it can be hard to remember everything then. Most of the questions I asked were specific to mine and MH’s lab results, because we’d already had nearly all of our testing done.

 

AFM, I saw the second therapist today, and was not wowed. I’m debating whether or not to see a third therapist or just to go with the person I like so far. The one I saw today has dealt with IF herself, but seemed to have a LOT of opinions about what I should do in terms of treatment, rather than just being there to provide support and help me develop coping skills. I’m sure she’d be a great fit for some folks, but not for me.

dragonette505

@darkstar42 ugh... I agree that that might not be the comfortable therapist to go with if what you are looking for is emotions support and not cycle support! That would stress me!

jrm_14

@emmasemm If you feel up to sharing your test results, please do when you hear (read?) them ❤️

@darkstar42 I can see conflicting ways to think about your experience. On one hand, that’s disappointing the second was not more helpful. On the other hand, it does help eliminate one. Ask your heart- are you in the fence about the first one because you want the right fit, or may it be some avoidance, or something else?  You know how important it is to feel comfortable ❤️❤️

JennyColada

@lurvleybunchococonuts thanks and hi! Between work, just kind of being "over" TTC as well as other things I kinda just lost my motivation for forum-ing. But I do miss the awesome group around here and even if I'm not around I'm thinking of you all!

50Wife

@darkstar42 I didn't even think about that fact that someone who's gone through IF would also have an opinion about what you should do. Although I feel like with their job they should remain neutral unless there's some sort of option you've never heard of that she wanted to share. I'm sorry you weren't impressed and she doesn't seem to be a good fit. 

jrm_14

@JennyColada Hi, old friend!  I, too, was tecently thinking about where you were. Here are a couple links to old post that you requested HTH. 

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12710304/what-to-ask-at-your-first-re-appointment

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12574734/first-re-appointment-what-to-expect

darkstar42

@jrm_14 I think I am going to go with the first therapist I saw. For some reason I had in my head that I should see three people before making a decision, but that's totally arbitrary. I really liked the first person and felt like she could help me, so I think I'm going with that. She's very kind and made me feel comfortable. I so appreciate all your support with this! It really helps to have cheerleaders encouraging me to take care of myself.
@50Wife It never occurred to me either! She was actually somewhat pushing for adoption, which certainly isn't something MH and I have ruled out, but we're really not there yet.

beachbunnyxo123

@darkstar42 I had a bit of a reaction reading your post about therapist #2. As a therapist myself, that is the absolute opposite of what we are supposed to do. It’s not about our opinion (that’s actually called counter transference that what you’re saying is bringing up something for her which is what we are trained to recognize and avoid in counseling). It’s not about her and her opinions. It’s about you. You are the client and it’s important that you feel treatment is addressing what you want and what you need. It sounds like you’re lookin for validation and support with coping at this time and it sounds like she’s having you problem solve and make a decision related your your IF which is not what you planned on currently exploring. Even if that was your goal to make a decision, her job should be to ask questions to facilitate further exploration about what you feel would be best. This is a personal limit for me as a clinician but I never give my opinion about anything when a client is making a decision. They might even find it frustrating at times but once again it’s not about me and what would make my opinion more important than my client’s? Nothing. I feel like my job is about supporting my clients in working towards what they what to work towards. Sorry for the long rant but I feel sorry you had to experience that and I feel like she was crossing a line by saying what she said. I feel invalidated for you. Even if you are considering adoption, she’s not your medical doctor I just find that so inappropriate. I think it sounds like therapist number 1 may be a better fit. Keep lookin though if you’re still not satisfied! Sorry if my reaction was a bit strong. 

leilee101

@JennyColada welcome, and hoping your time here is short! Looks like you got some good suggestions already for your first RE appt. I am a one step at a time type girl, I don't like getting overwhelmed, so I started my first RE appointment with "what are the first steps" and that worked well for me. I started off with blood work to test hormones and an HSG, and a SA for my husband. It didn't make sense for me to get too far ahead of myself (ie. questions about IVF, questions about next steps) without the basic data. But I also don't know if you've had any testing done already, how long you've been TTC etc. Good luck Tuesday!
@darkstar42 if you found a therapist that you feel comfortable with, go with them. It's sounds like you've already made that decision though, good for you for taking care of yourself..No one else will!

ndz2018

@beachbunnyxo123 AMEN! 
@darkstar42 if you feel more comfortable with #1 you should go with her. I have weeded through like 4/5 therapists till I found The right one lol but I’m super picky and if I feel Like they don’t get me or i don’t have a connection with them I’m OUT!

Avrilmai

@darkstar42 yikes! that was not a helpful/therapeutic experience. I know you said therapist #1 maybe didn't do as much CBT as you would like, but it sounds like you were comfortable with that person and that goes a long way. and in the end what matters is if you feel like you can get the help you're in need of. (I get the idea of 3, when we give people referrals we give them 3 options, but you're right it is totally arbitrary.) Secondly, ALL of what @beachbunnyxo123 said all. of. it. 

@JennyColada welcome back? & sorry you find yourself here. you already know this is a great group and they've given great advice so far. I'll share my experience. For my first appt I made sure I had a dedicated notebook and as we were leading up to the appt I wrote down any questions that came to mind.  When we were meeting with the RE I wrote down the answers as they were presented and then for anything I didn't get an answer to I asked. My RE had a powerpoint presentation for the first session as well as a complete packet of info and FAQs. I would check out your RE's website. My biggest questions were what happens if something needs to be done on the weekend/holidays? and what is the best way to communicate with you. I bring that notebook to each appointment.

suzycupcake

@darkstar42 You also can absolutely ask the therapist that you like to incorporate some more cbt. It shouldn't be a problem unless they have a specific reason not to. Many therapists work with different modalities depending on client needs.

I remember a time I went to therapy with mh. She asked me to talk about what was bothering me. I went through the list about how he was literally working 24/7 and never ever did we go out on a date. When I planned an outing because he would ask me to since he didn't have the time, he would cancel last minute, every time. This was years ago. Each and every time I did that, mh would fire back with all of the great things that he does for me, in a resume format, rather than validating me for how I feel. When he was finished each time, she would look at me and say, "What a nice guy he is!" or "Such a nice guy!"

One of the times, she even said to me, "It sounds like you pick fights with him because you want someone to play with." It drove me bsc after the first appointment so we never went back. Like pps said, it's really important to feel comfortable and supported rather than being completely invalidating, or worse, someone always wearing the fix it hat. There's a time for that, but most often, it isn't a time for that. This conversation has actually taught me something about how to be more supportive to the ladies here. 

Hugs  

ndz2018

Nurse said transfer date should be 4/10..starting Estradriol 2 x a day. Next BW/US is Monday morning.. and it just got real.

dragonette505

ndz2018 said:

Nurse said transfer date should be 4/10..starting Estradriol 2 x a day. Next BW/US is Monday morning.. and it just got real.

suzycupcake

Yay @ndz2018!!! How many embies do you plan on transferring? I pray that you are given peace about this, that everything goes where it's supposed to go and does what it's supposed to do. 

50Wife

@ndz2018 wahoooo!!! 

AFM, heard back on my biopsy. It was done on CD24 but they said it was more like CD20 so my progesterone wasn't high enough. The IVF coordinater called and told me so she said I need to meet with the doc. I need to call with AF and go in for bloodwork and a scan and talk to the doc. She said she's not sure if he will want to move forward with just some adjustments or want to do another mock cycle. 

beachbunnyxo123

@ndz2018 yay so exciting (peaks at schedule to see who’s doing your transfer, fail April’s isn’t up yet). Glad you’re finally moving forward!

@50Wife ugh that’s disappointing I really hope they don’t make you do another mock cycle again and that it’s just a simple adjustment. When will you hear back from the doctor? That stinks that you waited all this time for the biopsy results to get them and hve to wait again. Ugh, sorry friend. Hope they give you answers soon! 

JennyColada

@jrm_14 omg thank you of those links! I knew that I remembered seeing topics like that but I guess my search skills just suck. Thank you!

@ndz2018 sounds exciting!

ndz2018

@dragonette505 I’m literally laughing hysterically at that!  

@suzycupcake we’ll be transferring 1.. they don’t recommend 2 embryos when they’re PGS normal for some reason.. trust me I asked!!  I was Like “Sooooooo can we put a boy and a girl in so  I only have to be pregnant once?”  so unless this one embryo slips we’ll only be having 1 at a time. 

@50Wife UGH I’m so sorry doll! Let’s hope when AF gets here you can move right into your FET.  I hate that you have to sit in limbo right now! Can you call the doctor directly and see what he’s leaning toward another mock or just adjusting somethings? 

suzycupcake

@ndz2018 I don't blame you. I'd be asking the exact same thing! I'd be like give me the catheter, I'll do it myself!

ndz2018

@suzycupcake I can ask again!

jrm_14

@50wife How are you feeling about the results and potentially waiting more?  Clearly, I can assume not wonderfully. However, it sees to be a good thing doing one mock cycle!  

@ndz2018 Horray for a transfer date!!  PGS embabies have a higher likelihood of success as they are known to be chromosomally normal. As common as twins are, they are high risk for momma & babies. We don’t want you to be put in danger!!  What’s on your to-do list before transfer??!

@JennyColada You’re welcome!  Using search engined & features well shouldnlikely be on my resume  

@leilee101  Did I miss an IUI update on you??  


AFM, I had had this nagging feeling that I’m not 100% confident in our RE. So, I scrambled around today to set up an appointment with another RE. I filled out piles of paperwork tonight & will hopefully fax them tomorrow. At that time, I will receive an appointment date. Even if we stay with our RE, I think I will be more settled knowing we had a second opinion. 

ndz2018

@jrm_14 Yeah I figured that much.. you know how these fertility clinics don’t like their numbers to go down! Hmmmm to do list def get drunk...that’s all I can really think of 

darkstar42

@beachbunnyxo123 Thank you for that! I so agree with everything you said. That was my reaction as well, especially at a first appointment when she didn't even know me yet. I've never before had a therapist give their opinion, and it was particularly weird given that it's essentially medical advice. I kept responding with things like, "well, we're just getting more information about IVF at this point and haven't made any decisions," and she just kept on going with her own opinions. You're right that it's pretty much a textbook example of counter-transference! I did decide to go with the first therapist and made another appointment with her for next week.

@suzycupcake Oh my god, your experience with that therapist sounds horrendous! I can't imagine a couples counselor ever thinking it's ok to take sides like that. Also, you're totally right that I can ask her to do more CBT. I will likely bring that up at the next appointment.

50Wife

@jrm_14 Yea I'm definitely thankful that we're doing things this way because obviously the timing wouldn't have been right if we did transfer but at the same time its like ok can things just work out the way they should and can we move forward?  
I hope you can get an appt with a new RE quickly and that things go well!!

@ndz2018 I'll chat with the doc during my cd 2/3 visit and see what he recommends. I'm honestly not sure which way it'll go but I'm assuming we're not going to do the FET next month. I feel like if my numbers looked good enough to proceed then the woman who called me yesterday would have felt confident enough to tell me that we'd be moving forward. I don't know how bad a 4 day difference is? Maybe it's nothing to them?  We shall see. Still waiting for AF to fully show so I can make my appt.

Avrilmai

@jrm_14 glad you're exploring a second opinion if you know it is something that will help you, even if it is to just help feel more settled. 
@darkstar42 glad you were able to get scheduled! 

AFM, Trigger shot done. IUI scheduled for tomorrow! 

beachbunnyxo123

@Avrilmai yay that’s awesome! How was it? 

Avrilmai

@beachbunnyxo123 not bad at all...mainly because the RN in the RE's office did it for me...

ndz2018

@50Wife I’m frustrated for you. When is AF due? 
@Avrilmai YAY for triggering!! FX for your IUI tomorrow!! 

suzycupcake

@Avrilmai Fx for you tomorrow!