ok so this just kind of hit me... 1) People keep talking about holding legs...It's a bit fuzzy but I'm pretty sure no one held my legs during my delivery...there was a giant blue wedge thing though that they were on...is that abnormal? 2) what do you do with 1st child if you go into spontaneous labor with second and family isn't close enough to take DD/DS? Do you just bring them in with you? You labor alone while DH watches the kid(s)? DH and I were talking about it the other day and I realized I had no idea.
I had my doula and one nurse hold my legs while the hubs helped with a pillow to hold my shoulders and head up. I am hoping to stay in the tub this time where no one holds anything. I don’t recall a wedge option.
My in laws are 20 min away so I guess we are taking DS there. However, sometimes they drive me crazy, and I thought if we go into labor in the middle of the night, why wake DS up? Or are my 75 year old in laws going to answer the phone in the middle of the night? I have a good relationship with two of my neighbors and they said they wouldn’t mind sleeping over at our house. The birth center I use doesn’t allow kids in the room during labor. So we have a couple of options available to us. They should have child care programs at the hospital!
@gingerbride26 No one held my legs with DD, they were in the blue things. I had an epi but could move and lift my legs though they would have been in the blue things either way.
Regarding having someone to take care of your other kiiddo, I would line up a couple on-call friends/baby sitter options.
My parents are about 1.5 hours away. If it's go time before they can arrive I have a couple trust worthy friends that will come hang out with DD until my parents arrive.
In my perfect world though I will go in to labor very early in the am on a weekday, we will drop DD off at day care on our way to the hospital and my parents will have hours to come get her. I am however delusional in my perfect scenario ideas lol.
thanks @runsomewhere! Guess we better make some friends lol in-laws are 45 min away, and based on last time, baby would be born before they got up to us. Due to my precipitous birth with DD and other high risk health complications, we're all 99% sure the plan is to induce to prevent spontaneous labor, but as pre-term labor is also part of my "high risk" classification, may not have a choice, and figured we should have a plan B, C, D....
@runsomewhere Funny, I was telling my doula about a similar plan. Except it all worked it so that DH would be able to pick up DS by the usual time. We can dream!
@gingerbride26 I had a friend who got induced just because they had no one to watch the kids and she was terrified of going into spontaneous labor. I guess it depends on whether the hospital will do that. I've always been induced so the last time around it was easy to plan, but if (please god) I go into spontaneous labor this time I have a friend close and my MIL and FIL will drive down, or DH will watch him. I have a friend who has 4 kids and when in labor with her 4th her hubs had to stay home with the kids til the in laws got there so he missed the first half of labor, so I guess thats not uncommon.
Regarding the legs: they made me HOLD MY OWN BACK. And considering I had a 6 hour labor I was exhausted and it was SO HARD, eventually they had nurses help me. No wedge option. I can't remember second time I think I still held my own but was much less out of it.
Here's hoping we all go into labor at the most advantageous times!
I can't believe it's not standard practice to have someone hold your legs for you, youre working your ass off to birth that baby, the least those nurses and partners can do is hold your legs! My husband and mom each held one of my legs last time, but this time I'm hoping to give birth either in the tub or in a different position besides on my back. Maybe squatting or side lying of some sort - I think being on your back is not the most efficient way to get the baby out.
I just reread my post and realized I didn't finish a thouggt...i m4ant " considering I had a 6 hour labor I can't imagine what people who have labored longer would think if they had to hold their own damn legs. @zande2016 I pushed in lots of positions but baby came out on my back.
Regarding holding legs - My sis who just gave birth at the same hospital said her H held one leg and a nurse held the other... I guess that will most likely be how it happens for me. Except DH is terrified of being that close to the south end and told me he can not risk holding my leg... hahahaha
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@MrsMiller8588 DH just told me he held my leg but he was also holding my hand so I think he stood next to the leg, hooked his arm under my thigh and pushed forward with that arm, and held my hand with the other hand. He was not looking directly at the nether regions until the nurse said, "Look the head's right there!" and he felt like he couldn't say no so he looked. But he definitely could have gotten away without seeing the act of birth if he wanted to!
@SmashJam I'm shocked a hospital would induce just for convenience TBH. I swear mine is actual health reasons - I'm high risk for hemorrhaging (SUPER RARE! NOT THE NORM for FTM) and my 1st came fast and furiously so they want to control it end to end - though honestly I'm relieved because I do see this being a major anxiety trigger - so maybe they did it because anxiety was getting too high for healthy BP etc? @MrsMiller8588 I told my husband I didn't want him looking...he says he saw it all because without a drape there's just not that much real-estate between shoulder and action zone. Well maybe if you close your eyes or turn your back...
Regarding holding legs - My sis who just gave birth at the same hospital said her H held one leg and a nurse held the other... I guess that will most likely be how it happens for me. Except DH is terrified of being that close to the south end and told me he can not risk holding my leg... hahahaha
I got to be in the delivery room and held one of my sister's legs when my niece was born in November. Her husband stayed closer to her head and coached her. It was SO cool watching my niece be born and I was so thankful that she let me be in the room. She is the only person that would be welcome in the room when I deliver besides my H.
Meagan Married 6.12.10 DS 11.8.12 Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
@gingerbride26 I have had a couple of friends schedule to be induced. Sometimes I feel like some doctors prefer it too so they can make it home during normal hours!
I am with @gingerbride26 but I'm also quite against unnecessary interventions. TBH I don't really care if the doctor wants to be home at a certain time, it's their job to be on call!
I don't want MH anywhere near the business end of labor. I'd prefer to maintain at least SOME of my "feminine mystique."
I'm pretty sure that I'm in the minority in that I honestly haven't thought much about labor and I'm not all that worried about it. Which is crazy/hilarious because I have an anxiety disorder and usually worry about EVERYTHING. My birth plan basically consists of: 1) epidural and 2) husband not at the business end. I'll probably let my mom in the room. Everyone else but my mom, MH and the nurses will just have to hang out in the waiting room. My MIL took pics of my SIL in labor with her legs spread (under the hospital blanket), and sent them to us. So there will definitely be a strict "no pictures of me in labor" policy.
@chaser61 and @kissableviv induction was a major flame trigger in my last BMB. I know a few women who were induced early - but for BP or leaking/low fluid, none for T-times or convenience - and a bunch induced at 41 weeks due to current practice to not go to 42. I had read that CS were on the rise in US where not really necessary for dr convenience but not induction, woah.
I think there is research now supporting induction BY 41 weeks, so at some point during the 40th week, as the risk of still birth goes up after 40 weeks. So even though elective induction can be controversial, it is backed by science and some doctors/practices really believe it is best. Though I do think some OBs use that justification to their advantage because they prefer induction over spontaneous labor. I was pushed to induce at 39 weeks because of blood pressure issues, and I followed the medical advice, but I am REALLY hoping to go into labor naturally sometime between 39-40 weeks this time because I know the doctors will be pressuring me to induce if I go past 40 weeks (GD). Induction went fine for me for what it's worth, I had an uncomplicated 16 hour labor. That being said, I want a different (less intervention) experience this time, so I will avoid induction as best I can.
I was told that is was a state law or maybe hospitals in my state induce you at 41W 5D. I can’t quite remember. I was pleased when it happened naturally at 40W 5D for my first. A friend of mine gave birth in Germany and she was not pressured to be induced when she hit 42 weeks. She said in Europe they wouldn’t be concerned until 44 weeks.
My friend that chose to be induced at 39 weeks did not have a medical reason for them to do that. She said the doctor said it would be a good idea so she could make sure she had child care and her husband would be off from work. He told her it was safe because the baby’s weight was fine and she was beginning to dialate already. I wonder if the doctor had to list a medical reason for insurance to cover it? Anyway, it wouldn’t be my choice but that is what worked for her and her family so more power to her. Even better it did not result in a c-section.
@BrittG13 I can't imagine going 10 days over... I went in for induction exactly 41 and was happy to not go a day longer - never got to the pitocin drip, it just took a little ripening to get the party started and she came on her own. @zande2016 I hadn't heard that about 40W now! That's interesting, it's been 2 years and I know things are changing all the time. It was the women begging to be induced at 36-38 for no medical reason other than normal 3rd trimester discomfort and other side with die-hard 100% natural is best moms to be having issue with it - so neither side backed by science really. FWIW i don't see any issue with either way forward (camp you-do-you) and am 100% for whatever dr thinks is best - it's the same reason why I go OB/Hospital route versus a birthing center. My girlfriend was 100% opposite approach, and hey, both our almost 2 year olds are happy and healthy!
I was induced with my second one for technically convenience BUT I was 39 weeks, dilated to 5.5cm already (had been dilated for 2 weeks at 5cm), it was the middle of January and we were scheduled to get negative temps and a blizzard. I did not want to deliver at home or in the middle of a blizzard so chose with my Dr's recommendation to induce. It was pretty intense but only took 8 hours and my DS came out at 9lbs2oz. I don't regret it, however, this time I hope to not induce if I don't have to!
I think inducing before 39 weeks without a medical reason is one thing - I personally would not, and don't think a lot of doctors would. But 39 weeks +, I think the OBs in my area view it as fine. But yeah, I would side eye someone wanting to be induced at 36 weeks just because they're uncomfortable, at that point the baby may have to go into the NICU. 39 weeks is considered full term though last I checked.
Jumping in to the induction convo - I know there are doctors at my clinic that offer convenience inductions. I think starting at 39 weeks if no complications. My older sister had one 10 years ago and my other S and SIL both mentioned they had the option (all had the same dr - who is the best regarded dr in my town). I personally think it's because she likes to deliver babies and my clinic doesn't do on call - so if you don't have your baby Mon-Fri business hours she wouldn't get to deliver.
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
I was induced at 41 weeks with dd and could not have come a second sooner! I had severe sciatica and spd and wasn't sleeping, couldnt sit comfortably and barely walk it was awful.
So I am grateful this go round for a c section at 39 weeks.
I have a relative who was begging to be induced from the time she hit 37 weeks because she was "soooo uncomfortable." It pissed me off. Of course you're uncomfortable. You're pregnant. Suck it up. ETA: My anger was at how early she was asking to be induced for non-medical reasons. 37 weeks?! She was already talking about induction at 36 weeks. They only agreed to do the elective induction once she reached 39 weeks (which didn't bother me, I think that's prob fine)
ETA: cc: @zande2016 I was very loudly side-eyeing her.
In further defense of my anger, I'd like to add that this particular relative started *at 37 weeks* using some vaginal suppositories she got *off the internet* to try to make herself go into labor. WTAF.
I was induced with both of mine post-due date. Both a week+ overdue. I can see the side eye for an induction before 40 weeks if you’re not dilated or anything because that’s when CS rates go up, if you’re forcing labor to happen. I was dilated since 36 weeks with both of mine, my body just wasn’t ready to evacuate them. If I was braver I’d definitely push for a 39 week induction for comfort. UO maybe.
@beanship I agree with you, I'd be annoyed too! No, just no. If medically needed, absolutely, go for it. Safer for all involved. But just because you're over it? No. Sorry. Pretty sure every woman I've ever talked to is "over it" at that point but come on. Also, yuck, I wouldn't stick anything like that up there without a doc telling me I should and either provided it or gave me a reputable source to purchase from. That's just me personally, but there's a lot of weird/dangerous stuff out there on the Internet, like "diet pills" that are really just tape worms.
@zande2016 I hadn't heard about the "by 41 weeks" thing with my last either and that was a little over a year at this point. I hope my ne w hospital doesnt do that i really want to go into labor on my own this time. I went to 41+5 and they only induced then bc it was Thursday and my hospital didn't induce on weekends anymore bc they only had on call c section people and that made them nervous, Monday would have been past 42.
@gingerbride26 It was awful. I could barely walk to the bathroom without crying, it was also exacerbated with every single text/call from well meaning friends and family “is baby here yet?” “No baby yet huh?!” NOPE!!!! or “Yes, I actually gave birth weeks ago I just decided not tell anybody.”
My OB now said she wouldn’t let me go that far over this time thank God. Idk if that’s because of some new rule or if they were so hesitant last time because it was my first?
@brittG13 i can only imagine....ugh those txts are the worst - my coworker who has 3 kids started sending me meme's about "ask me one more time if the baby's here" like a week before my due date which helped keep me laughing. RE: trying to jump start labor - random suppositories are questionable, but I will confess I was fully engaged and 2 inch dilated with contractions for a month before my induction and I totally tried almost every natural wive's tale in the book to jump start! 3 mile walks every day, pineapple, indian food, chinese food, sex... nothing worked obviously... @lindsayleigh1989 that is my fear right now for this one...my SI/back/hip were already compromised pre-pregnancy and I'm already limping and having mobility issues at 22 weeks so I can only imagine what you went through...
@gingerbride26 I never got the pitocin with my first either. I went in to be induced on my due date because I wasn’t progressing at all and baby was already 8.5 lbs. I got one round of cytotec and then gave birth 6 hours later. Super grateful it happened that way because I got my epidural just in time before I had to start pushing.
As for who will be in the room with me, it’s still a toss up. I’m traveling to Michigan one month before my due date and staying with my in-laws. Because I don’t want to give birth in Canada. My husband has 10 days off work starting the same day as my due date. So he may be able to fly down to MI and be there with me while the in-laws watch DD, or if he’s still in Canada then I asked his older sister if she would be in the room with me. I don’t feel comfortable being alone and I get along with his sister really well. I just hope she can handle holding my leg and possibly seeing more than she intended, because she doesn’t have any kids and I doubt she’ll know what to expect.
Re: Who in the delivery room?
1) People keep talking about holding legs...It's a bit fuzzy but I'm pretty sure no one held my legs during my delivery...there was a giant blue wedge thing though that they were on...is that abnormal?
2) what do you do with 1st child if you go into spontaneous labor with second and family isn't close enough to take DD/DS? Do you just bring them in with you? You labor alone while DH watches the kid(s)? DH and I were talking about it the other day and I realized I had no idea.
My in laws are 20 min away so I guess we are taking DS there. However, sometimes they drive me crazy, and I thought if we go into labor in the middle of the night, why wake DS up? Or are my 75 year old in laws going to answer the phone in the middle of the night? I have a good relationship with two of my neighbors and they said they wouldn’t mind sleeping over at our house. The birth center I use doesn’t allow kids in the room during labor. So we have a couple of options available to us. They should have child care programs at the hospital!
Regarding having someone to take care of your other kiiddo, I would line up a couple on-call friends/baby sitter options.
My parents are about 1.5 hours away. If it's go time before they can arrive I have a couple trust worthy friends that will come hang out with DD until my parents arrive.
In my perfect world though I will go in to labor very early in the am on a weekday, we will drop DD off at day care on our way to the hospital and my parents will have hours to come get her. I am however delusional in my perfect scenario ideas lol.
Regarding the legs: they made me HOLD MY OWN BACK. And considering I had a 6 hour labor I was exhausted and it was SO HARD, eventually they had nurses help me. No wedge option. I can't remember second time I think I still held my own but was much less out of it.
Here's hoping we all go into labor at the most advantageous times!
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@MrsMiller8588 I told my husband I didn't want him looking...he says he saw it all because without a drape there's just not that much real-estate between shoulder and action zone. Well maybe if you close your eyes or turn your back...
DS 11.8.12
Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
I'm pretty sure that I'm in the minority in that I honestly haven't thought much about labor and I'm not all that worried about it. Which is crazy/hilarious because I have an anxiety disorder and usually worry about EVERYTHING. My birth plan basically consists of: 1) epidural and 2) husband not at the business end. I'll probably let my mom in the room. Everyone else but my mom, MH and the nurses will just have to hang out in the waiting room. My MIL took pics of my SIL in labor with her legs spread (under the hospital blanket), and sent them to us. So there will definitely be a strict "no pictures of me in labor" policy.
My friend that chose to be induced at 39 weeks did not have a medical reason for them to do that. She said the doctor said it would be a good idea so she could make sure she had child care and her husband would be off from work. He told her it was safe because the baby’s weight was fine and she was beginning to dialate already. I wonder if the doctor had to list a medical reason for insurance to cover it? Anyway, it wouldn’t be my choice but that is what worked for her and her family so more power to her. Even better it did not result in a c-section.
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
So I am grateful this go round for a c section at 39 weeks.
ETA: cc: @zande2016 I was very loudly side-eyeing her.
My OB now said she wouldn’t let me go that far over this time thank God. Idk if that’s because of some new rule or if they were so hesitant last time because it was my first?
RE: trying to jump start labor - random suppositories are questionable, but I will confess I was fully engaged and 2 inch dilated with contractions for a month before my induction and I totally tried almost every natural wive's tale in the book to jump start! 3 mile walks every day, pineapple, indian food, chinese food, sex... nothing worked obviously...
@lindsayleigh1989 that is my fear right now for this one...my SI/back/hip were already compromised pre-pregnancy and I'm already limping and having mobility issues at 22 weeks so I can only imagine what you went through...
As for who will be in the room with me, it’s still a toss up. I’m traveling to Michigan one month before my due date and staying with my in-laws. Because I don’t want to give birth in Canada. My husband has 10 days off work starting the same day as my due date. So he may be able to fly down to MI and be there with me while the in-laws watch DD, or if he’s still in Canada then I asked his older sister if she would be in the room with me. I don’t feel comfortable being alone and I get along with his sister really well. I just hope she can handle holding my leg and possibly seeing more than she intended, because she doesn’t have any kids and I doubt she’ll know what to expect.