@sammierose464 I always find those situations interesting and if you don’t want to share, feel free to tell me to STFU, but did your mom just not tell you who your dad was or she did but until the Ancestry thing you couldn’t find him?
I got invited to a sprinkle this weekend. The sprinkles for a close friend it’s her second baby, same gender, same month. Invitation says no gifts required, but links to an amazon registry. Would you bring a gift?
Oh boy, there's money in the picture, too @cdepperschmidt? I feel like there's always extra expectations that come with that one even though really it should mean she probably NEEDS nothing. You mentioned that you're a close friend, I'm sure that makes this a bit tougher.
Is there something non registry you could do for her, like get her a few days worth of a meal delivery service or something for after the baby is due? Or what about some flowers and a shirt for big sister/brother? Something for the older chid could be special/fun?
@purplegoldfish2 I'm not having a VBAC but at my clinic that is at the major hospital in my area it has 6 OBs. They stated in their paperwork "due to a change in policies our physicians no longer do VBAC". What would be the reason for that? Why was there a policy change?
@pumpkinpancake I am on it until 13 weeks. I was told the placenta should take over around 10-11 weeks but at my office they leave ladies on it a little longer just to be safe. *Shrugs* as long as I don't have to pee within an hour of going to bed I am fine. I get super dizzy so I take before bed. Otherwise I feel fine. I will be glad to take one less thing at night though! 1.5 weeks to go for me!
@pumpkinpancake, I'm still doing PIO shots. I'll finally be rid of them following my appointment next week at 12+5. Like @SweetSweetTooth said, the placenta should have taken over by now, but my RE is generally overly cautious.
@pumpkinpancake I’ll be on progesterone until I deliver, but it’s mostly due to my history of preterm delivery. My oldest was born at 27 weeks (he’s all good!) and my twins were 33 weeks, so they’re keeping me on it. My RE normally has women stop at 10 weeks.
Thanks all! My RE told me I can stop next week, which will be 11 weeks for me, and I can’t wait to be done with them! TMI alert.. Im so over the suppository discharge!
@sammierose464 I always find those situations interesting and if you don’t want to share, feel free to tell me to STFU, but did your mom just not tell you who your dad was or she did but until the Ancestry thing you couldn’t find him?
My mom told my dad that she was pregnant and his response was basically "Um. Are you sure? Cause I'm not confident you haven't screwed other guys since we broke up." I don't really blame him, he was 19. So I've always known who he was and his name. Although at 25 my mom informed me of a one-night she had right after the break up! I had always tried to Google him, but never got anywhere (and he doesn't have a FB). The Ancestry DNA confirmed that he was my dad because I was linked to some people with the same last name. I had started talking to a distant relative on there and DH started googling him. Ended up finding him listed with a son, and he FB stalked my brother. Since my brother lived in the same area my dad had, we assumed it was the same person. After reaching out to my brother, my dad ended up calling me. Thankfully he was excited and believed at that point I was his. Looking at us side-by-side, you can't deny it! It's been a crazy experience!
@sammierose464 Wow what a story! Isn't this day and age with the technology we have so awesome - it really brings people together! I hope you can build a relationship with him and he will get to know your little bean.
I have a crazy family reuniting story too! Both my parents are adopted but my mom has always wanted to find her birth parents. She was adopted in Ireland but with the records there being closed and not much of a lead to follow she gave up. Only when my grandparents passed 5 years ago and she was cleaning out their house she found her original birth certificate that my Nana thought she had lost! Long story short she went to the small town (of like 350 people) she was born in just to get a feel for it. Was standing on the main street just absorbing it in, when a man parked beside her and said you look lost and not from around here. She said I'm not I'm from Canada but found out I was born here recently and my last name is really ____. He laughed and said well wouldn't you know it but you are standing outside of ____ house and I'm going in for tea, so why don't you join me? The lady opened the door and took a look at my mother and scream and almost passed out - said she looked exactly like their late mother and knew instantly it was her long lost sister! Unfortunately their mother passed two years before but always told her kids about having to give my mother up for adoption when she was too young to have her. Even said near death "you watch out for her because I have a feeling she will find us!" Spooky right? Anyways my mother met her two sisters and a brother and they swapped stories of their lives and believe it or not they has very similar things happen in their lives, even each one of them naming their kids with same names as my siblings! One of my mothers nieces even moved to Canada to study and was living on the same street my mother lived at that very same time for over three years!
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
I’ve had a few people question my choice to use an anonymous donor, but I see so many stories like this that I know, in 18 years, if Blast wants to find their biological father, and that person wants to be found, it will happen. And getting an open donor would not necessarily guarantee that they would meet since open donors can change their mind and ask for their information to no be released, or the bank can lose their records.
I think the most important thing is for a child to have strong parental influences growing up, it doesn't matter if they know their biological parents. I do think it's important to have male and female influences, no matter your own sex, because there are just different things you can learn. The fact that Blast has a guncle who's so involved is wonderful to me. My mom's first husband was a horrible person, but I had an amazing grandpa growing up. He was my father figure. I wouldn't change how I grew up for anything. And now, I get to share the excitement with my dad and his family.
@cdepperschmidt i get where you are coming from because that is an awkward situation, but maybe it feels that way to your friend as well? not sure what your relationship with her is, but if it is comfortable to have a conversation about it that might help. (I totally get that in some situations that would not work).
two friends of mine want to throw me a "sprinkle" (I honestly had to google it when they told me). I appreciate their thoughtfulness, and they have been through a lot lately and credit me (although I was just being a friend) with helping them through it, so I understand where they are coming from...but this is baby #5 for us. We did pass on most of our baby stuff, but we still do not need or want gifts.
I was really struggling and just talked to them about it and decided that we would have a get together after baby is born but not call it anything more than that to hopefully eliminate the question of bringing gifts. They know where I am coming from and will make sure that people know it is just a party to celebrate baby and friendship and all the good stuff together.
@norahkate Thanks! Knowing my friend if I bring it up to her she will be like “don’t worry about it”. Being that she is 34 weeks pregnant I don’t want to burden her. Worse case scenario I’ll bring a target gift card and a book.
@purplegoldfish2 I'm not having a VBAC but at my clinic that is at the major hospital in my area it has 6 OBs. They stated in their paperwork "due to a change in policies our physicians no longer do VBAC". What would be the reason for that? Why was there a policy change?
I have no idea. I’ve read that VBACs are generally safer than repeat c-sections, especially if you wait over 18 months or 2 years (I don’t remember exactly and mine was 5 years ago, so well past the timeframe). I haven’t actually talked to my OB yet since I haven’t seen her, but a friend goes to the same practice and has had 2 VBACs there, 1 within the last year & my previous OB that did the section said I was an excellent candidate for VBAC, so I am not anticipating any issues with attempting it.
I do know that the hospital that I delivered at had a policy that the lights had to be on in the room at night or the babies had to go to the nursery. I wasn’t too happy about it, but was exhausted and didn’t fight it. **TW**My OB later told me that if I had insisted on keeping the babies then they would have let me, but the reason behind the unofficial policy change there is because they had recently had an infant death when a mother fell asleep holding the baby & the baby became trapped somehow.**End TW**
@sammierose464 & @chyvie Thanks for sharing the stories! @chyvie I feel like I’ve read that story before... Ireland, Canada, standing outside the house with family inside... Did you share it on another board a long time ago? Maybe last year sometime?
When my mom had my brother 8 years ago, she was required to have a C-section because she had 2 previous ones. I was an unexpected C-section, my one sister vaginal, then my other sister scheduled C-section after being 2 weeks late. She was told that my brother had to be scheduled C-section due to the previous ones at the risk it played to her uterus. I don't remember all the details, just that she didn't have an option with my brother.
@purplegoldfish2 No this is my first online board I have ever posted to. Weird! That would be crazy if someone else has a similar story! Perhaps one of my 3 sisters (that I'm not close with) or one of my friends has told the story on a board? I do have several friends that recommended the Bump to me and told me to join for the support. I also realize when I tell the story, people are really facinated with it, so perhaps they shared it on here? Either way that is creepy that you have heard a similar story! I hope you believe me because it really happened. My mom now goes on vacation every year to the Caribbean with her two sisters and has been back to Ireland to see them. They have formed a great Bond and my mom is happy to have some real family in her life for the first time.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@chyvie I thought about it after I posted that and I probably saw it in comments on Facebook or something. I wasn’t on here very much last year, only on the loss boards briefly, but since you’re here too that’s where my brain went first. It was from the same perspective as your story, so possibly one of your sisters. Still kind of random that I’ve read it before!
@sammierose464 I know more doctors are hesitant to do VBA2Cs, but some still will. It depends on a lot of different factors though - reasons for previous sections, the location and direction of the cuts, any complications during/after the surgery, number of babies currently being carried. In my case, both of my boys were breach and we couldn’t get them to flip, cut is horizontal, I had zero complications, only 1 previous section and it’s only 1 baby this time.
@purplegoldfish2 Oh ok. Well that would make more sense then. I myself have posted the story on a Facebook thread of comments before when a similar article popped up about a families finding their long lost family members last summer. I did get a lot of comments and likes. I know you are from Western New York so you are pretty close to me (Toronto) so we could very well see similar content on FB. I was getting weirded out thinking someone was posting my same story as their own!
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@chyvie Sorry to make you think that! Pregnancy brain is hitting me hard right now, so remembering where I saw something a while ago is especially difficult! Last summer would be in the timeframe I saw it in, so maybe it was you! I remember it was when I was considering adoption instead of infertility testing and I was looking at a lot of adoption stories and reunion stories. Very likely we saw the same story.
@purplegoldfish2 No worries! It's a small world but a crazy world so you just never know. I'm glad we figured it out! I remember writing the story on that article and thinking nobody would read it and it ended up touching a lot of people. It really shows that fate and destiny can do magical things!
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Questions 3/16
I got invited to a sprinkle this weekend. The sprinkles for a close friend it’s her second baby, same gender, same month. Invitation says no gifts required, but links to an amazon registry. Would you bring a gift?
@knottieamusements if it wasn’t being put on by her wealthy parents I would do that.
Is there something non registry you could do for her, like get her a few days worth of a meal delivery service or something for after the baby is due? Or what about some flowers and a shirt for big sister/brother? Something for the older chid could be special/fun?
I have a crazy family reuniting story too! Both my parents are adopted but my mom has always wanted to find her birth parents. She was adopted in Ireland but with the records there being closed and not much of a lead to follow she gave up. Only when my grandparents passed 5 years ago and she was cleaning out their house she found her original birth certificate that my Nana thought she had lost! Long story short she went to the small town (of like 350 people) she was born in just to get a feel for it. Was standing on the main street just absorbing it in, when a man parked beside her and said you look lost and not from around here. She said I'm not I'm from Canada but found out I was born here recently and my last name is really ____. He laughed and said well wouldn't you know it but you are standing outside of ____ house and I'm going in for tea, so why don't you join me? The lady opened the door and took a look at my mother and scream and almost passed out - said she looked exactly like their late mother and knew instantly it was her long lost sister! Unfortunately their mother passed two years before but always told her kids about having to give my mother up for adoption when she was too young to have her. Even said near death "you watch out for her because I have a feeling she will find us!" Spooky right?
Anyways my mother met her two sisters and a brother and they swapped stories of their lives and believe it or not they has very similar things happen in their lives, even each one of them naming their kids with same names as my siblings! One of my mothers nieces even moved to Canada to study and was living on the same street my mother lived at that very same time for over three years!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
@chyvie What a crazy story!
I’ve had a few people question my choice to use an anonymous donor, but I see so many stories like this that I know, in 18 years, if Blast wants to find their biological father, and that person wants to be found, it will happen. And getting an open donor would not necessarily guarantee that they would meet since open donors can change their mind and ask for their information to no be released, or the bank can lose their records.
@cdepperschmidt i get where you are coming from because that is an awkward situation, but maybe it feels that way to your friend as well? not sure what your relationship with her is, but if it is comfortable to have a conversation about it that might help. (I totally get that in some situations that would not work).
two friends of mine want to throw me a "sprinkle" (I honestly had to google it when they told me). I appreciate their thoughtfulness, and they have been through a lot lately and credit me (although I was just being a friend) with helping them through it, so I understand where they are coming from...but this is baby #5 for us. We did pass on most of our baby stuff, but we still do not need or want gifts.
I was really struggling and just talked to them about it and decided that we would have a get together after baby is born but not call it anything more than that to hopefully eliminate the question of bringing gifts. They know where I am coming from and will make sure that people know it is just a party to celebrate baby and friendship and all the good stuff together.
@norahkate Thanks! Knowing my friend if I bring it up to her she will be like “don’t worry about it”. Being that she is 34 weeks pregnant I don’t want to burden her. Worse case scenario I’ll bring a target gift card and a book.
I do know that the hospital that I delivered at had a policy that the lights had to be on in the room at night or the babies had to go to the nursery. I wasn’t too happy about it, but was exhausted and didn’t fight it. **TW**My OB later told me that if I had insisted on keeping the babies then they would have let me, but the reason behind the unofficial policy change there is because they had recently had an infant death when a mother fell asleep holding the baby & the baby became trapped somehow.**End TW**
@sammierose464 & @chyvie Thanks for sharing the stories! @chyvie I feel like I’ve read that story before... Ireland, Canada, standing outside the house with family inside... Did you share it on another board a long time ago? Maybe last year sometime?
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
@sammierose464 I know more doctors are hesitant to do VBA2Cs, but some still will. It depends on a lot of different factors though - reasons for previous sections, the location and direction of the cuts, any complications during/after the surgery, number of babies currently being carried. In my case, both of my boys were breach and we couldn’t get them to flip, cut is horizontal, I had zero complications, only 1 previous section and it’s only 1 baby this time.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada