2nd Trimester check-in March 12th

TravelingCouple

Holy TP to your midwife @BusinessWife. What an awful thing to say in such an awful way. As if we all aren't worrying enough about our babies everyday. Sheesh. I echo PPs saying that you should follow up on it with the doctor to see if the concern is extended to anyone else besides your MW. Wow. Sorry you had to deal with that.

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the support you guys ❤  I think for one thing, I will call Monday morning and see if the same appointment a week earlier (19+2) is still available with the first midwife I saw, confirm that I can definitely still get the AS that day, and if so, go ahead and push the apt up a week.  At least if I know I don't have to see her again at my next big apt, that may help me shake that noise off and not stress.  Plus you know, ask about any nutritionist followup or whatever, if anyone else legit shares her concerns. :/  Hopefully saner minds will prevail, because everyone else's team seems to have a much better attitude than this one!  :D

Aera11

@BusinessWife I had lots of back-to-back appointments around those weeks too!  I did a regular ob check, two AS & my echo.  It's basically lots of opportunities to see LO I'm sorry about your midwife, ugh!  I feel like they should know all our bodies our different & take that into consideration.  

2MomsHoping

@hopeful_mom.  Wow 3lbs it just boggles my mind how quickly these babies grow and how they can already show signs of being like mom/dad.  One of my friends posted her 20-week ultrasound picture next to her husband’s profile and no lie it was exactly the same.  It’s just all so amazing J

@holls214 sciatic pain is so awful.  I hope you are able to get some relief with the massage. 

@buinesswife.  You know what I say to weight gain…a big ol’ eye roll that’s what I say.  I’m not a small girl in BMI I’m obese though I generally wear a size 16 but I’m also 5’9 so honestly I think I look fairly average.  Anyways I was so worried about getting the riot act from my doctor.  She wants me to gain 0-10, and definitely not over 20.  However what she did say is that can be really really hard to do during pregnancy and we will see how things go.  If my labs are ok (which they are) and my heath is ok there is no sense in adding stress.  If things do start to look borderline, and I’m gaining to much she said she would want me to see a nutritionist.  To me it sounds like your provider is more worried about numbers on the scale than an actual health concern.  I have had horrible doctors before who have given me such a hard time about my weight I took drastic and unhealthy measures to get to a size 12 which was still overweight but I was eating so little I had horrible anemia.  Don’t risk your health if you are eating nutritious foods and keeping a healthy lifestyle.  If you are concerned ask for a recommendation to a nutritionist.  If your provider is being unsupportive just remember you are consumer I would ask another midwife you have seen before and explain your concern or request not to work with this one again (if possible).

hottietoddy

@BusinessWife I'm so sorry your MW made you feel so upset.  That was an innappropriate thing to say.  You can counsel someone on their weight and not scare or upset them.  As my nutritionist says- she is clearly not trained in how to counsel. They should be trained in psychology and how to talk to women productively about weight management.  You may want to consider finding a new MW if she is putting that on you.  You are clearly not doing that bad of a job and they way to help people is to motivate and give them the tools they need (like the nutritionist referral), not shame them.  I just went through similar with the old man scary doctor last week, so I hear how upsetting it can be.  Can't these people just learn not to upset a poor pregnant lady?  We are all doing the best we can, and especially after IF, working so hard to do everything right.  She was out of line.  There are tons of MW out there that you could be going to that are positive and supportive.  For now, just know that you aren't doing that bad at all!  15 lbs isn't that bad especially for someone who is just a little chubby.  15 lbs will not harm your baby and she had no right to scare you like that.  It is just good to try and not gain too much and I know you can do it.  You can always find your own nutritionist also.  My nutritionist has even told me time and time again that, she herself gained 10 lbs during first trimester.  You are really doing great and the standards are too extreme to hit.

I am considered 'obese'  on the BMI scale and struggled with weight for years.  I lost 25-30 lbs before getting pregnant and have worked very hard not to gain during pregnancy so far.  But I go to a nutritionist every 2 weeks and have been seeing her for 2 years.  I'm also on a low carb diet from having high blood sugar.  I was just telling my mom last week, even when I was in great shape when I was in high school and middle school playing volley ball, I weighed  more than others.  I had a lot of muscle and I think it was due to PCOS even back then.  I was harrassed even then for being 'overweight' by my gyno.  I had a sports medicine doctor tell me it was insane to tell me that given the amount of muscle I have.  I think the best doctors are now coming around to the fact that BMI and the scale isn't everything.  There are many factors that play into a person's health and it isn't black and white.

My ob now is so caring and told me that he doesn't worry about me that much because when he looks at my frame and body he doesn't see the number that is on the scale.  He says one wouldn't think they number on the scale when they look at me and I have always thought that, it really made me feel good.  He says he has seen some patients that are concerning and maybe don't take care of themselves or have some issues (no judgement).  But he says I am doing fine and he didn't even want to catagorize me as 'obese' on my paper work.  This is a kind and supportive way to look at things. He knows I am doing everything I can and doing a good job, so he doesn't try and scare or bully me.