March WTO

kikimi83

Who's with me??

Having a very hard time gearing myself up for baby making week. I am feeling so discouraged and it's just hard to get excited about this knowing how I've felt these last couple months. I need my hormones to kick in and evolution to remind me this is what I really want so I can start to get at least a little excited... I'm just done with the roller coaster!

coco2787

Present.  CD 5.  Definitely not feeling excited or hopeful anymore, but this is the last month for a 2018 baby and I know I shouldn't set unrealistic timelines for myself but it's hard to let go.  

Kath525

Month 15. CD 8. Let's do this.

@coco2787 i can't remember are you doing RPL testing soon? I'm sorry you're feeling so hopeless right now. Just know we're all here if you need to vent or cry or scream. Loss sucks. *hugs*

coco2787

@Kath525 yes, I was checked for diabetes and thyroid issues, and they also did a full antiphospholipid antibody screening, all of which was normal.  Hysteroscopy is scheduled for tomorrow.  

kikimi83

@coco2787 I know what you mean about being hard to let go. I was thinking the same thing about 2018. Like, I was supposed to be having a baby this year, now.... Who knows. 

Doing my best to relax (haha) and just live my life at my DH's advice. Doesn't hurt that we both have the week off work this week. I've decided that this is our week. Lazy mornings (morning BDing!) and lots of self care. I'm taking full advantage of the gym, booked a massage, and doubling up on acupuncture. Even have an evening planned with my girlfriends, which I have completely avoided since my MC. Maybe a little less obsessing and a little more getting back to me is actually ok. 

Mack2342

Guess I’m back here CD1

bakerstreetboys

I go here now. CD1  I knew it wasn’t my month so at least I’m happy it was a 28 day cycle. 

prpl11butterfly

Technically I am WTO but I don't think I'm going to this month. I'm CD 17. Had temp drop on 12 followed by increases on 13 and 14. But then another drop on 15 with increases on 16 and again today. Body is trying but just not getting it done. It's okay, I was expecting this so will just *try* to wait patiently for next month.

Kath525

Sorry @Mack2342 @bakerstreetboys. AF sucks.

kikimi83

CD12 and hoping today is the day. Had a close to +OPK, EWCM, and temp drop today. So it seems like everything is finally lining up and making sense again. Last month was a total gong show. Trying so hard to feel hopeful but I'm so anxious to see that temperature rise! Acupuncture today so hopefully that ensures the process. Anyone else exhausted? 

bakerstreetboys

@kikimi83 So, so exhausted.  Hopefully the acupuncture does the trick!  

kikimi83

@bakerstreetboys thanks. Sorry for AF but yay for regular length. Hopefully you can cocoon this weekend and start fresh. 

Acupuncture was good but naturopath isn't happy that I don't have a definitive O day. Does anybody? I find those OPKs so inconsistent. Not sure I've ever had a real read on them. I'm really guessing at best. 

furmama1986

Month 3 post MC... on cycle day 3 right now.
 
:tw: emotional mess today

I'm feeling like a bfp is never going to happen again.   It took 6 months to get my bfp that ended in MC.  Just having a woe is me type of day  

kikimi83

Sorry you're having a tough day @furmama1986. Nothing terribly inspirational to say except you don't have to apologize for feeling like crap. All of this sucks and is very discouraging at times. You are not alone. 

prpl11butterfly

@furmama1986 took us 5M for the one we lost. I'm not looking forward to the coming months.... Sorry it's been so hard for you.

bakerstreetboys

@kikimi83 I usually get a pretty obvious positive on an OPK, but can only confirm it with a temp rise which is why I'm pretty sure I didn't O this month.  For me, it can be anywhere between CD14-18; I don't think it's unusual that you don't have a definitive day each month.

@prpl11butterfly I think that's exactly what happened to me this month too; body geared up to O, but didn't.  Hopefully it only happens once for both of us!

@furmama1986 Sorry you're having a tough day.  We all have them, so this is a good place to be for finding people who understand.

prpl11butterfly

@bakerstreetboys I'm not quite up to date with everyone but is this your first cycle after MC too? 

kikimi83

Rant: So I was due in August. And I guess everyone else who is due in August has broken through the magical 'safe to talk about it' period and has decided to announce on Facebook/Instagram this weekend. What a shitty reminder that I didn't make it. That I should be writing some silly announcement. That is MY due date. Except it's not. It is stolen time. And I can't even be mad at anybody. 

bakerstreetboys

@prpl11butterfly I had a CP in November but got pregnant again right away without a period.  That was a MMC with D&C in mid January.  I got AF back after about 5 weeks but didn't ovulate first...so this is what should have been my first "normal" cycle.  It was more normal in the sense that I'm back to 28 days, but I don't think I O'd.  So really this would have been the first cycle for me to get pregnant again, but obviously it didn't happen.

furmama1986

Thanks for your kind words.   It's nice to know that even though I may feel alone at times,  I know I'm not.  

prpl11butterfly

I gotcha now @bakerstreetboys. Fx next cycle you O and catch!

@kikimi83 I would have been due Sept 16. My step SIL announced last weekend. Due Sept 8. It was a knife to the heart for a million reasons. I'm sorry that you are being bombarded. It's tough.

etnyah

@kikimi83, definitely know how you feel. I would have been due in September, and I just had three people announce on Facebook that they’re due the same week I was. I hit that “unfollow”-button so hard, ugh. Thankfully none of them are close friends of mine, so I don’t have to see them and watch their bellies grow. 

Mack2342

@KiKiMe and @grebretso I’m right with you ladies.  I would be due with my 3rd loss in July.  My hair stylist is due in June.  I saw her Thursday and was very much taken back by her baby bump.   I guess it just put into perspective where I should be as we were about 3 weeks apart.  Once I got over the initial emotions I was ok.  This journey does suck.  Hopefully you are not here long and get your take home babies  soon 

shadylane18

@kikimi83, @grebretso, and @Mack2342 I'm with you as well. I was also due in August and have been avoiding Facebook for weeks. I haven't had anyone close to me announce, but I'm in constant fear that it's just a matter of time before someone does. It's like I have this underlying current of jealousy running through me that, for now, is directed toward no one in particular and I'd like to keep it that way. I worry it will be too hard to get past otherwise.

char245

I think I go here now, I’m CD1. Still have some testing to do with the RE this month, next appointment is Tues. Hoping they will take us off the bench but might stay there one more month for additional tests... oh the waiting is so tough! 

kikimi83

Thanks everybody. It is kind of reassuring to know this isn't just me, I'm not crazy! My best friend just had her baby, I actually threw her baby shower 1 week after my MC. It was incredibly hard. But seeing her with her baby seems totally different. Maybe because I know her and her situation and her loss. It's all these peripheral people that are just so easy to hate! Time for a social media break. Actually, it makes me think differently about how I may announce in the future. 
..... Heading to TWW now.  I think yesterday was O day! 

bakerstreetboys

I find that waiting to O is harder than the TWW.  I feel like I have more work to do in the first half of cycle; I have to figure out when I'm going to O, time everything right, etc.  It's CD5 and I feel like it'll be forever before I even start using OPKs!  The TWW is hard, but it's out of my control at that point and I find that I can relax a bit more.  Plus, symptom spotting takes up a lot of time

prpl11butterfly

@bakerstreetboys WTO is also out of your control! But I do get what your saying. There's 0 way of knowing what's going on during the TWW where as at least during the WTO you can temp to get an *idea*. And yes, SS does kill lots of time 

Just had another FB announcement last night. Didn't hit me hard at all. She's also due around the same time I would have been. BUT I also know she had a loss last year (or maybe 2 years ago) around this same time. 

@kikimi83 it's making me rethink announcements now too. But that's hard because you'll want to share the joy when the time comes but also not hurt feelings. Ugh, life is to difficult sometimes.

char245

Found out last night that I’m still benched. Plus they forgot to call in a prescription for me so I had to go out in the snow last night to get it. Feeling so frustrated... back to the benchwarmers I go.

edited bc it cut off have my comment. 

Kath525

@char245 eek. Sorry you're still benched. For testing, right? What do you have this month?

char245

@Kath525 they now want to do a hysteroscopy (totally could be spelling that wrong) to see if I have any scar tissue or polyps that could be causing an issue. I believe once we have completed that I will be all done with testing. So FX that next cycle we will have some sort of plan and be off the bench!

ccvslp

I'm officially here and off the bench.  Feeling all of the feelings.  I have an ultrasound to check my lining the morning of April 2 on day 12 and if less than 5mm I'll get five days of estrogen... the nurse told me it will be oral and not vaginal like I was thinking (I'm now thinking I want her to check with the doctor on that because it sounds weird to me and I'm also scared of taking the oral stuff - I have a week full of important meetings at work and I'm so nervous!)  I know you took it, @tosh24... any advice from anyone?  Eeek.  Progesterone suppositories will start two days after positive OPK and I'll have a second ultrasound five days after the first to see if the estrogen did anything.

I'm excited to be moving and acting on things again FINALLY but pretty anxious and nervous about it all, too.  I start letrozole Saturday so hopefully I O a little earlier than normal and don't have to live over here for like three weeks the way I sometimes do!

prpl11butterfly

That's so exciting @ccvslp! It's such a relief when you can finally start doing SOMETHING other then wait.

ccvslp

It is exciting, @prpl11butterfly!

Checked with the clinic and it is specified that they want me to start with the estrogen orally pending that CD12 check; something about the fact that I'm also doing progesterone inserts same cycle.. she said most people absorb it fine orally and about 1/5 don't and need to switch to vaginal route the next try, but we will start with by mouth.  I already warned DH I'm sorry in advance for what I say or do that first week of April.... I can have crazy mood swings with my cycle and no meds so I'm just nervous.  lol 

furmama1986

Cycle day 12 and just got a flashing smiley face on the clear blue advanced opk! Woohoo O is getting close!

Mack2342

@furmama1986 good luck


AFM, I just had US and 4 follicles.  Trigger shot tonight and IUI Wednesday. 

furmama1986

Mack2342 said:

@furmama1986 good luck


AFM, I just had US and 4 follicles.  Trigger shot tonight and IUI Wednesday. 

Thanks!  Good luck to you as well!

ccvslp

Good luck, @Mack234!

day 3 of 5 Letrozole and no real side effects here except for BLOATING.  Oh wow.  I wish it were socially acceptable to unbotton my pants at work.  LOL

Mack2342

@ccvslp that’s the only side effect I have from letrozole too.  I’m also taking gonal f with mine and no side effects from that either 

tosh24

Hi guys,  I'm going to jump in here for now.  I'm benched from embryo transfers at the moment (had a serious reaction to a drug they had me on and my RE is on vacation and not able to switch my protocol) but no one can stop me from TI so I guess we'll try the "normal" people way this month (although it's highly unlikely to work). I'm on a bunch of new supplements to combat endo and increase endometrial receptivity so hopefully those do the trick. CD 8 for me today. I'll probably O on Easter.

@Mack2342 Yay for 4 follies! 

Mack2342

@tosh24 have fun trying the “normal” people way.  Hopefully they get things worked out for you.  One of my coworkers had horrible reaction to lupron too.  She said she will never take again.