TTCAL - March 5th

ChloandCoco

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list?

galactickates

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Ectopic at 9 weeks in Nov. Left tube was removed.  

Status: WTO 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
I just realized for the first time in the last two years I don't have a count down for something and it feels really weird. Not including ttc. That's a forever count. But I don't have a wedding to plan or a house stuff anymore.  It's a super weird feeling.  Rant: I'm really bummed AF showed up.  I had really high hopes this cycle.  H and I HIO almost every day last cycle except a handful of days.  It upsets me because I blame my missing tube.  I feel like if I had both fully functioning it would have worked.  I know there is no way to know that but in my anger at my situation, it's easy for me to place blame on that.  

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
not at the moment. 

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list?
Seeing the northern lights where they are brightest and most beautiful and seeing Yellowstone. 

wrensnest

I guess I go here now...

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Just experienced/still experiencing our first loss.

Status: Still in the midst. We’re going to take this next cycle off.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?  I am feeling way more affected by this than I expected with it being so early on (not quite 5 weeks). I think the roller coaster of having so much spotting before testing had me convinced I was out, then BFP, then low betas, then back and forth positive and negative tests, and now definitely out, it’s just been a lot of up and down.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Another beta tomorrow to make sure levels are coming down accordingly. 

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? I have totally unrealistic bucket list items, lol. Liiike, compete in the Olympics unrealistic. Maybe I should just shoot for going to the Olympics as a spectator instead. 

I’m bummed we’re all here, but I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you through this. 

dragonette505

galactickates I tried to see the northern lights last winter in Iceland, but we will try again in either northern canada or sweden (still planning that). I dont blame you for feeling angry... I would feel the same way. Many hugs (and chocolate).


Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 4 losses

Status: WTO and planning FET next cycle

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Im very nervous about my ultrasound on wednesday (to confirm that the surgery was successful)

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Ultrasound on wednesday

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? Travel... no specific places, but i want to see lots of this earth if possible

Whitmore1027

First I want to say thank you to all the lovely ladies who wished me love from this weekend's ttcal. Sorry I didn't respond to each of you, but please know I read them all and I super appreciate your thoughts.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 loss: CP February '18

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am feeling better today emotionally than the last few days. My mom found out I had a CP in a round about way...she found some preggie pop drops in my bag and thought I was pregnant. H was with her and had to tell her about the loss and she apparently burst into tears and then proceeded to call me asking why I didn't go to her for comfort....awwwkkkkwaaard. But all will be well. Just trying to get over the weird feeling of now her knowing what happened and now she knows we are actively trying. Ughhh. I am hoping that won't add any weird pressure on me. Which, it probably won't. I should be happy she can support me. Bleh. Weird.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I just called my OB to cancel the prenatal I had set up. She said she would tell the nurses and have one call me to see if I need to go in to get my levels checked...I am new to all this since this is the first loss I have had. But I know for certain I am no longer pregnant, so I doubt I would need to go in.

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? Visit New Zealand! It's totally the most expensive and probably least likely thing. But omg it's such a dream of ours. If I had the opportunity and money I would drop EVERYTHING and go.

@galactickates So sorry darling. I know the feeling about not having anything to look forward to, and it just makes you feel empty. I felt like that after H and I got married, because a year and a half of planning all done, and "we were like...what do we do with life now?!" I hate that last cycle didn't work out for you! I hate it when you feel soo positive about something and it doesn't work out.
@wrensnest Soo sorry you are having such a rough time. I cried so hard this weekend, and now I just feel like numb a bit I guess. Every now and then I'll think about something to make me tear up. Just know that it's okay to grieve as long as you need.
@dragonette505 FX for your ultrasound!! Times like these we wish time would go faster!

Kath525

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Ttc since 1/17. CP 3/17. NMC at 6w5d 9/17. 

Status: WFAF 13 DPO.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Rant:Anniversary of my first lots coming up. So that's not fun. Also fighting a nasty eczema flare up.
Rave: my DH is on his A game and I'm feeling very loved.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Our testing has been delayed. Although it's been 15 months our dr wants us to wait since we've been able to get pregnant. Fun. I'm going to push back if another month goes by with a BFN.

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list?
I want to go to australia and see all that there is to see there!!

@galactickates sorry about AF. I also want to see the northern lights!
@wrensnest sorry for your loss.
@dragonette505 FX for good results from your ultrasound.
@Whitmore1027 Hopefully the extra support will be helpful and not stressul.

eleven_

@wrensnest I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be gentle with yourself and know that it's okay to be upset. Even though early losses are common, they still hurt so much. *Big hugs*

prpl11butterfly

Missed the intro part....  TTC since Aug 17, beleive 1 CP in Oct, 1 loss I was 11+3 when it was confirmed MMC 2/28, babe stopped growing around 7wks

Status: Day 5 post D&E. Processing and waiting to try again.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Going back to work this morning was a struggle. I'm glad to be back though. I've had 2 salesman send me into tears (totally innocent "how you feeling" questions because boss told them I was sick) but both were super supportive when I told them the real reason for being out. I feel better being honest because of badly handeling past emotional pain. It's healing for me.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nothing, just waiting till the 15th to be cleared from surgery restrictions. 

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? So many things. So many......

Also want to add that I'm sorry we are all here. I hope to be able to support you ladies in any way I can. Best of luck to those of you actively trying this month

Whitmore1027

@prpl11butterfly Ohh my goodness. I hope you are able to adjust back to being at work quickly! I understand being honest and upfront. I am the same way! I was never good at keeping things from my bosses and co-workers. I prefer them knowing about something being wrong, rather than just wondering and thinking the wrong things. Hugs to you darling. I can't imagine what you are going through!

ChloandCoco

@galactickates It makes sense that you would blame your missing tube, and I'm sorry you are angry at it. On a lighter note, how's the unpacking coming along?
@wrensnest I'm sorry you find yourself here and for your loss. Just remember that a loss is a loss, not matter how early or late. 
@dragonette505 Fingers crossed for your ultrasound on Wednesday and FET next cycle!
@Kath525 Anniversaries are hard, but it's good that your DH is taking very good care of you.
@Whitmore1027 That does sounds really awkward, but now you can talk to your mom about it.
@prpl11butterfly Going back to work was really hard for me too, but it's good that the other employees were caring and supportive. Just remember to be kind to yourself and know that some days will be easier than others.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

TFAS - 4 early losses in the last 11 months

Status: WTO - cd 3

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? This last week was really hard, I was completely blindsided by a couple of pregnancy announcements on top of getting BFNs. I really hope this week will be better. We decided to keep trying this month, and will probably take it one month at a time when it comes to planning out the future. Rave: I started doing yoga for 30 minutes a day and I'm loving it.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? OPKs at the end of the week.

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? I really want to go to Switzerland. It's been on my bucket list since I was a teenager, and even though I've been to Europe, I just didn't have time to make it over there.

dragonette505

wrensnest so so sorry youre going through this.. thats exactly how my last mc went... hope and doom all together at one time. Of course you are taking it hard. Hope you can get some downtime to process and know we are here for you...

Whitmore1027 I know how you feel with your mom knowing... its a weird combination of having support and maintaining privacy. For me, nobody loves me like my family, but it also feel like work dealing with their sadness too... like its hard enough to manage my own. My mom knows (because she lives with me and my husband) and she has tried hard not to put her grief on me, but I do feel guilty for putting her through this... its complicated, right?

Kath525 loss anniversaries are so tough... so awesome your DH is making you feel loved and supported!

prpl11butterfly sending hugs... Im always so sorry to see another woman end up here, but everyone here is absolutely lovely. So great you could tell your colleagues and get support there as well.

dragonette505

ChloandCoco pregnancy announcments and BFN's at the same time are awful... hugs to you...

dAsch14

Can I ask a question here?

Just to start, I'm so sorry that everyone has to be here. I hope our time here is short!
*TW I think* After a blighted ovum at the beginning of February and a D&C last week I'm wondering when to expect my period.
Last Thursday I had an ultrasound that showed retained tissue after using cytotec. The ultrasound also showed that I was likely to ovulate very soon, but needed a D&C, so it's not like we could take advantage of the O. My question is, should I still expect my period in a couple weeks? The D&C wouldn't mess with my hormones in a way to affect my period would it? Maybe it'll just be a lighter period?

I suppose now that I go here I should def start answering the actual questions. Next week hopefully I'll have the time/strength to really contribute.
Thanks so much for your best guesses! 

lokibear89

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC discovered at 9 weeks (6 weeks 4 days), failed medicazl management then successful D&C

Status: CD15

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Back from the nicest holiday in Queenstown, it was perfect and work wasn't as chaotic as I anticipated it to be when I got back so thats great. Also getting all the signs that ovulation is imminent which is nice.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Will dehydrate myself this avo and OPK

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? Travelling really, everywhere. Europe probably to start.

suzycupcake

@galactickates I understand how you feel. MH and I have been going through this too lately and experiencing this loss made that feeling even worse. I am so sorry for what happened to you and it makes perfect sense to blame the tube. I'd be doing the same thing. Anger is a normal response to an abnormal event. Hugs

@wrensnest I am so so sorry My heart hurts for you. I'm glad that you decided to join here with us and that the two of you have decided together to have a little break. Please be kind to yourself  

@dragonette505 I am praying that your u/s will show nothing but fantastic news!

@Whitmore1027 Why NZ? I'm glad that your mama seems like she wants to be supportive. I pray that she becomes the best type of supportive and that you will feel more and more comfortable sharing with her

@ChloandCoco Yea, those announcements never get any easier. One of the girls that I grew up with (there were 3), she was a lot younger than all of us, just announced her pregnancy recently. I am happy for her but at the same time, it made me think about my age for the first time and the fact that I don't have any kids yet. It was a huge gut punch. 

What kind of yoga are you doing? What do you like about it?

@dAsch14 Hi There! I don't have any personal experience with D&C, but from what I've read and researched online, that should not affect your lp, no. However, if you were say on fertility meds and did treatment, then it might change your lp by a couple of days. I'm so sorry that you found yourself in here with us. Take care of yourself. 

Eta:

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 early loss

Status: wto cd2

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going alright. I had a horrible time yesterday with extremely bad af cramps, but I was able to get through it with pain medication and wine. It was wretched though for like an hour. I was worried I'd have to go in to urgent care, but it subsided. I was so afraid that it would come back today but it hasn't. Something I'm struggling with this week is what to do with the onesie that I ordered to announce to my bio dad and stepmom. It's on its way. 

What's going well is that I had a great first appointment at the usc fertility clinic this morning. I lost my kaiser ins when I resigned from my job to go freelance, but the great news was that my current RE also practices there. They are so much more organized than kaiser, the care is more personalized, and I will get to see my doctor most every time that I go. They even had music and coffee in their waiting lobby. It was so cozy and everyone was so nice.

It was way less stressful than going to kaiser. Also, my RE and I got to discuss awhile what to do for this cycle as far as treatment. She said she thinks an increase in the dose of femara is all that I need to get more than one follicle this time (since we aren't sure if that second one ever caught up last cycle). We are starting the med earlier this time so that if another follicle isn't mature right before the trigger, she will add a really small dose of an injectable to get it to go. I'm very happy with this plan and so glad that I found a doctor who respects my desire to not overmedicate my body. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? f/u u/s next Thursday I think it is to see what follicles are doing.

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? It's still to live abroad somewhere in Europe for a year so we can also travel around to a bunch of different places in there. 

kindbytealikat

@galactickates I'm sorry
@wrensnest @Whitmore1027 @prpl11butterfly sorry both you ladies find yourself here
@ChloandCoco I'm so sorry you've had such a rough week. Pregnancy announcements can really suck
@dAsch14 After a D&C you can expect a period 4-8 weeks after. From my experience the first period post D&C was longer and more painful. Sorry for you're loss

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 early losses(8/17, 1/18)

Status: WTO, but taking a TTC break

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I've not been doing great this weekend I had a meltdown this weekend, and at the moment I can't even remember what started it. It did hit me this weekend that I was supposed to be having a baby this month and now I'm not. I'm so terrified to start trying again and I don't know what to do about that. I was so hopeful we'd find something we could fix, but we didn't. I'm just taking it a month at a time and shooting for May. We should get my father in laws pathology results from his bladder mass today, that also has been adding to the stress.
RAVE: I had a amazing workout this morning. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? We had the Factor five and Gene mutation test last week we should get those in the next couple days. 

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? Greece, The Holy Lands, Sweden 

ChloandCoco

@lokibear89 That's really great that you had such a nice time on your holiday! And good luck this cycle!
@suzycupcake I have no idea what kind of yoga I'm doing. My cousin is staying with us right now and she's a personal trainer, so she's been doing it with me. It's mostly stretching with some planking and push-ups. She knows that I hate working out, so the less she tells me, the better. Haha! 

dragonette505

dAsch14 so sorry you had to deal with retained tissue... this one is definitely above my knowledge, but I can tell you from my own experience that you CAN ovulate before your period. The problem is no one can really say when. A D&C can affect your hormones in the way any operation can impact ovulation.... its a well controlled operation, but to your body, you uterine lining was just removed... that may or may not impact your ovulation just as something stressful can delay O. I wish I had charted that cycle after my early spring MC because I would have know I was ovulating. Unfortunately I MCed that next cycle as well... If you are cleared to TTC then if I were you I would chart so you can see if you do actually O. Some women don't O (even if you have an egg gearing up before your operation) and will have a withdrawal bleed and then O next cycle. You can ask your doctor if it is possible (I asked because I wanted to be careful and have a cycle to heal, but my doctor said I was unlikely to ovulate after a d&c at my age )

lokibear89

@galactickates, Northern lights would be amazing. You can get flights here in NZ to see the southern lights which while not supposed to be as good as the Northern ones is still very tempting.

@wrensnest I am so sorry for your loss, be upset and cry its the most natural thing in the world.

@dragonette505 good luck with the ultrasound

@Whitmore1027 Drop everything move to NZ! It is a beautiful country, not perfect by any stretch but I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

@Kath525 So sorry for your anniversary

@prpl11butterfly So sorry, been there and its just awful. Use the benched time to heal if you can, its so good having supportive coworkers I know that mine made life so much easier.

@ChloandCoco That combo sounds awful.

@dAsch14 I think after D&C they say it can take 2-6 weeks. I know mine took 5 weeks but then when it came it wasn't as expected. It really depends how quickly hcg comes down but its impossible to guarantee a time 

suzycupcake

Sorry I missed a few ladies. 

@Kath525 She wants you to wait? Is it a RE? 

@prpl11butterfly Yayyyyy you came from the other board! Though I'm sorry that you had to I hope the 15th comes like lightning for you! Ugh, the work thing. I'm so glad that they were so supportive when you told them. That can be so difficult because on the one hand, we wanna be tough and professional, but those every day questions can just bring us to tears or make us angry at the drop of a pin. Hugs to you love

@kindbytealikat I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so difficult when things are unexplained. I don't operate in the realm of unexplained because I'm a mrs fix it to the core. And you know what? We all have to have a meltdown from time to time. I know that it feels embarrassing when it's happening, but I just think of it as pent up toughing it out syndrome. Hugs. I will pray that you guys get good news with your fil's test results. Hang in there!

@lokibear89 Yay to great vacations! I'm so glad it was so wonderful for you and that work was low key when you got back. Haha to your dehydration comment.

Kabazaba

@galactickates - I am going to Yellowstone with my dad (a retired park ranger) this summer and can't wait! You should definitely make a trip there. I am sorry about the EP and left tube. It would be hard not to blame every BFN on that but FX everything works out for you soon.

@wrensnest - I'm sorry for your recent loss and the ups and downs. Take the time you need to heal and feel ready.

@dragonette505 - FX for good US results.

@Whitmore1027 - Sorry for your recent loss and the call you had to make to the doctor's office. I know it was hard for me to call them after my ER D&C to let them know I didn't need the D&C scheduled through their office

@kath525 - Didn't realize your 1st loss anniversary was coming up. Wishing you peace and strength through this time.

@prpl11butterfly - I'm so glad your coworkers have been supportive and you have felt comfortable sharing with them. It has been very healing for me at work this week that everyone knows and is offering to help me however they can.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. I had my first pregnancy and loss this year - MMC diagnosed 9w5d (stopped growing at 7w3d) and D&C last Monday. 

Status: Not avoiding sex but not actively TTC until after my first period, which I understand could be tomorrow or 6-7 weeks from now

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Trying to get back to a sense of normalcy after the craziness of last week. I have not been sleeping, so feeling tired all day at work and wide awake all night in bed driving myself crazy. The recent loss has caused me to want to seek out ways of controlling other aspects of my life so trying to get back into a regular work out routine, etc., which will hopefully help with the sleep issues.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope - my doc hasn't even been testing BETAs to see how quickly they're dropping.

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? Japan!

Whitmore1027

Omg ladies! My OB called back after I talked to the nurse about the CP, and my doctor said to wait 1 or 2 cycles before trying again. I don't want to wait! I want to get back to trying! Why though? Nurse just said for my body to get back to normal...but I mean, it feels pretty normal. In fact, I think my AF is already done. I mean...does this mean, don't have sex, or just...not "try"? I didn't expect them to say that I should wait!

@suzycupcake NZ because my H and I are nerds and are obsessed with LoTR, and that's where it was filmed, and therefore NZ is Middle Earth. It's beautiful there, AND I have heard the people there are super nice!
@lokibear89 I want to go SOOO BAD! If we had more than 2k in our name we would. We wouldn't even be able to afford one plane ticket. Haha. My H and I want to go, and rent a sleeper van and just drive everywhere!

eleven_

@Whitmore1027 Honestly, I would just do what you feel is best for you. A lot of women have a chemical pregnancy and just think their period came late. Maybe that's bad advice, but I feel like being benched would cause me severe anxiety. 

Whitmore1027

@eleven_ That's how I feel! I told DH what the doctor said and he thinks we should listen to the doctor. I told him what you said about the fact many woman have them without knowing. We know since we are tracking so closely. I really don't want to be benched, but I'll listen to doctors advice if it's really medically necessary for my health. I mean, I may be worrying for nothing if I just end up not getting pregnant next month anyway.

eleven_

@Whitmore1027 My OB and RE both told me there is absolutely no reason to wait to try again after a chemical pregnancy, but you are right; your doctor knows what's best for you 

holly321

@Whitmore1027, honestly, there isn't a lot of research showing that waiting changes anything, so I would do what you feel comfortable with.  The biggest thing they usually want you to wait for is dating, but it seems most OBgyn's do dating ultrasounds anyway, especially after a loss, so I don't see why it matters.

@Kabazaba, I am sorry for you loss. Is your doctor planning to test betas?  I don't think they usually do after a d&c, I think it is more common with a natural miscarriage.

@kindbytealikat, I hope your FIL's results are good, and that your tests are too.

@suzycupcake, I am sorry you were in so much pain, but glad it subsided. That's so great you can still see the same doctor, I glad your appointment went well.

@prpl11butterfly
, I am sorry you had a rough day back at work, but I definitely agree that being open can make things easier.  I am sorry for your loss.

@Whitmore1027 I am sorry your mom found out and it was awkward.  We are currently staying with my parents and they know we are almost cleared soon and it is so awkward when we talk about it.

@dragonette505, good luck Wednesday!!!

kindbytealikat

***TW*** @holly321 We did get the results, this afternoon. They were not good. He has an high grade, invasive form of cancer. 

holly321

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.  
mmc 2/12 MMC molar malignant pregnancy 8/17

Status:

Benched/WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
stuck in a spoiler box, for non TW stuff, second box is TW for pregnancy, kids, death, etc...

I am doing ok.  I am excited to almost not be benched, aggravated with my hormones (will I ever not bleed again?) Speaking of bleeding, I am trying to not freak out that the tumors are coming back, it is illogical, and I did stop, BCP, so, obviously, I have my period, which I should be happy I got, so maybe I will be able to ovulate..

about a year ago, DH and I sold our house, looking for something new/bigger.  We have been staying with my parents and absolutely can't find what we want.  We have been considering seeing if we can build on a huge addition and just stay here.  It has so many benefits to this.  Monetary, my parents can help with the kids (both are special needs, and I could cut back my hours to help with my sanity of going to their appointments.)  Also, before we moved in, we were here all the time anyway since emotionally, my parents needed it after my brother committed suicide a year ago.  The biggest downfall is changing the kids schools. And as much as I don't want to care, what will other people think.  I rant because I don't know what to do!
Also, SIL is being induced Wednesday, I mixed emotioned, so happy for them and sad for me.  We had joked how she had to go late and I had to go early so we both had March babies.

 Any testing coming up/ any recent results?
Hcg on Thursday, I think. I need to schedule a pap and then plead my case to be done with the bench!

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? I don't really have any, I guess visit Rome, if I have to pick 

eleven_

@kindbytealikat I'm so so sorry. What terrible news  *Big hugs*

Kath525

@suzycupcake it's an obgyn. If I didn't really like her I'd probably switch. But I'm just trying to be patient. At least for 1 more month. Then it will be 7 months post most recent loss and I think she'll be more cooperative. Also, glad you're liking the new clinic!
@prpl11butterfly sorry the first day back was hard. I hope tomorrow is better for you.
@ChloandCoco i was really into yoga a couple of years ago. I miss it and should get back into it. 
@kindbytealikat sorry for your loss and for the news about your FIL!
@kabazaba hope get some good sleep soon! It's so hard to function when you're exhausted.
@holly321 we went to Rome in 2015. It was probably my favorite place that we've traveled. I just loved all the history!

dpjennifer

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Unexplained RPL. 4 MC.

Status: CD 27. 4 DPO.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm just so bitter. All the time. TTCAL is a shyte sandwich and my work sucks. Trying to focus on the happy things in life like how great DH is and how wonderful my dog is.

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? I don’t really have a bucket list. A ton of travelling I supposed. 

wrensnest Remember that even with an early MC, the hormones are still present, your body is still changing, and from the moment you saw that BFP you started to get excited and plan for the future! Those hormones can take weeks to leave your body completely, which means whatever emotion(s) you’re feeling (probably sadness), are exacerbated!

dragonette505 Fingers crossed for good ultrasound results tomorrow.

dAsch14 Well, usually the D&C is sort of your ‘AF’ for that cycle. So usually it’s 4-6 weeks (sometimes more) after that. However, since you took cytotec first, I’m not sure if that would change the above estimates. Unfortunately, the only normal after a MC is that there is no normal. You could have exactly the same cycle and symptoms after the D&C, or you could have wonky cycles with totally different symptoms. One never knows.

suzycupcake  Yay for finding a fertility place that makes you feel more comfortable.

Whitmore1027 It means don’t try. You can have sex just use BC of some sort. I know you’r efeeling you really want to get back into it, but please follow your doctor’s advice, it could be something specifically to YOUR health. Sitting out one or two cycles is really not a big deal in the long run. (speaking as someone who’s been here for over 2 ½ years)

kindbytealikat Oh I’m so sorry!

ChloandCoco

@kabazaba I'm sorry for your loss.

@kindbytealikat I'm so sorry to hear about those results. **sending you lots of hugs**

@holly321 It sounds like a great idea to build on your parents' lot. Especially if they can help you out.

@dpjennifer TTCAL really does suck. But good on you for trying to focus on the positive stuff right now.

Whitmore1027

@holly321 Oh I bet that is hard going though this while living with your mom! My mom doesn't live with us, but she is 2 miles down the road, and I see her multiple times a week, so I'm sure it was bound to come out at some point. I hope your tests are good, and that you can be unbenched soon!
@dpjennifer So sorry you are having a rough time emotionally. I totally understand your point...but I know the feeling of taking a long time to conceive. **TW: took 17 months for me to conceive the first time **END TW** I guess it has an opposite feeling to me. Since I know it could take another long haul, skipping a cycle or two makes it harder for me personally. I just was NOT expecting the doctor to say that. He gave me no medical reason why I should wait a cycle. And everything I had read before I talked to him said it was okay to jump back in. (Yes, I know I should trust my doctor more than google, but I can't help but educate myself, because generally that's a good thing for someone to do.)
@kindbytealikat I am so sorry about your FIL test results.

eleven_

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 early losses this year

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Rant: It seems like every woman on Instagram I follow is pregnant. After my first loss, it didn’t really affect me. Now I’m just feeling extremely bitter and emotional. Rave: I am feeling extremely hopeful about this cycle.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I just got my progesterone results back and they were at 17. So low progesterone isn’t my problem. Why do I feel so sad about this? I just wanted something to fix. Now I’m waiting on my CD3 testing results. If everything comes back normal, then why has this happened to me twice in a row? I know that no one has answers. Just screaming it out in the universe…. WHYYYY???

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? Visit Iceland, Ireland and Scotland, see the Northern Lights, go to Disney World and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

Whitmore1027

@eleven_ I hope you are able to figure out why! I totally understand both wanting results to be good...but then you still have no answers, so you don't know what to do. YES to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, I totally forgot that even existed. Haha

suzycupcake

@eleven_ This is a topic that I've been researching because of mine. I know that I've only had one, but I realize only one that I'm aware of. In hindsight, I suspect this may have happened more than once. Obviously I'm not certain. 

This is a thing that I found that gives some answers and things to investigate. I hope it helps you too https://emedicine.medscape.com/article/260495-overview

eleven_

@chloandcoco Pregnancy announcements are the absolute worst. I’m so sorry. I’m happy that you guys decided to try this cycle. Awesome job on keeping up on the yoga!
@prpl11butterfly I’m so sorry for your losses. I think it’s so incredibly awesome that you told your co-workers the real reason you were out. It actually brings me so much peace when I don’t feel like I have to keep everything to myself.
@galactickates I’m so sorry the last cycle didn’t work out for you. ((Big hugs))
@dragonette505 Please let us know how tomorrow goes!! FX for the best possible results.
@kath525 That seems so weird to me that your doctor wants you to wait for testing after 15 months. I would definitely fight him on that one!
@lokibear89 I’m so glad you had a nice vacation! Yay for O being on its way. FX for you this cycle!
@holly321 That sounds like the best idea about building behind your parents. I love living close to family. Honestly, I would try not to let what other people think be one of the reasons you are hesitant. Being close with family is such a blessing. Who cares if people judge you if it makes you happier? Also, see spoiler..
TW-pregnancy mentioned

Did your SIL give birth yet? My SIL is due any day now. I think her actual due date was 3/1. I’m feeling every emotion possible about the whole thing. My main goal is to try and hold it together in the hospital room. I don’t want to make a special day for her about me in any way.

@dpjennifer I’m so sorry you are feeling so bitter. I honestly don’t have much advice because I’ve been feeling the same way after this cycle being a bust. Maybe Spring will help dampen the bitterness a little? Everything just seems so much worse in winter.  

dpjennifer

Whitmore1027  Understood. If you don't think the doctor has given you a valid medical reason to be benched, can you make an appointment with him and discuss it? Trust me, OBs do NOT have all of the answers! And some of them are running on very old advice. But I'd want to make absolutely SURE there's no valid reason to wait before I just dismissed him, in case there is a specific reason. Also, are you still going to your OB or do you have an RE? Have you gone through IF testing?

Kabazaba

@dpjennifer - I was feeling pretty down last week, so started a 100 happy days challenge and for the next 100 days am trying to find and post about something that made me really happy that day. Only on day 6 but so far it does seem to be helping me focus on the positive, even if small, things (snuggling with DH on the couch, great book and cup of tea, etc) rather than the stressors (which seems like everything right now). But, I also think it's bullshit women are expected to be happy all the time so you do what feels good to you. I support you being bitter, or focusing on the positive, or doing both at the same time.

@kindbytealikat - So sorry about your FIL.

@holly321 - Doc has not planned to do BETAs, I guess I just felt left out because it seemed like everyone else was doing them and I'm nervous HCG is going to be in me forever because I'm a crazy person and would like to know for sure they are going down and the day they disappear.

Whitmore1027

@dpjennifer The nurse told me there wasn't any reason to be seen..so I didn't ask for an appointment. Her exact words were just said "Wait a cycle or two before trying, just to, you know, let your body get back to it's normal cycles". I figured if my body isn't ready to get pregnant next cycle, it just won't right? Haha. Does my weird thoughts make any sense? We saw an RE back in June 2015. They made sure my tubs weren't blocked (with the dye) Forgive me, it's been so long, I don't remember the name of that test. They said my fertility seemed fine. H unfortunately had a low sperm count. Which is why I am worried about this being another long haul. I have also had some other issues that point to Thyroid problems (I am seeing I different doctor, waiting on those tests right now). So I don't know if that can cause an issue. I do want to see if my H should get another SA, but I haven't asked my OB on those thoughts yet. Thank you for your concern and advice!

suzycupcake

Yes @Whitmore1027 YH should absolutely get another SA and two in a row if that was so long ago. MH had a low sperm count too and some other things with his first one. By the second one, everything was great. They said it depends on the time of day and things like that. The dye test you are talking about is the hsg. It's good that you got that. Yes, thyroid problems can affect fertility. Read the link I posted for eleven.