Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Kabazaba
member
My Miscarriage Story (Trigger Warning: TMI & Graphic)
Kabazaba
member
First -- I've read through some other women's miscarriage posts on this board and I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm also sad to see so many Sept 2018 members on this board. I'm hoping we all have our rainbow babies soon.
I wanted to share my miscarriage story because it feels therapeutic to me, and this seems like an acceptable place to do that. If it's not, just tell me and I'll delete it. I will warn you it's graphic. Less graphic TL;Dr at the end.
This is my first pregnancy. Went in for my first sonogram last Thursday (2/22) with DH, since this was supposed to be a "fun" appointment. The tech showed us the embryo and sac, measured it (6+6, though I should have been 9+6), and let us know the bad news that we should have been hearing a loud clear heartbeat but weren't. She then took us to an exam room and told us the doctor would be right in. We were heartbroken and had tons of questions -- but it took the doctor 45 minutes to get to our room, and the office was closing in 5 minutes. So, we focused on next steps: why haven't I had any symptoms; do I have to get a D&C, take a pill? How long will this last? Doc told us that I'd had a missed miscarriage, and my body still thought it was pregnant. Because of that, I was not likely to miscarry on my own for weeks, or even months. Her suggestion was to do a D&C, which we could schedule at our convenience, and she also gave me the option of taking a pill, though that is also somewhat imprecise and of course more painful. We planned for a D&C, and scheduled that for Fri, 3/2.
The next day, Friday 2/23, I started getting some light cramping and bleeding. Doc office assured it was normal, probably caused by sonogram, and to keep D&C appointment for the following week. Cramping and bleeding continued over the weekend.
Monday I was at work, went to stand up and was covered in blood. I ran to the bathroom and had a large clot. The pad I was wearing was soaked (as was the underwear, my dress, my socks, and shoes). I looked like a horror movie -- blood running down my legs, the whole shebang. I decided to drive myself to the ER and have DH meet me there. I drove to the ER on a whole roll of paper towels trying to save my car (it worked!), and walked in to an overcrowded ER around 7pm. The nurses immediately saw what was happening (I was bleeding this whole time), and rushed over with a wheel chair and warm blankets to cover me up. Everyone at the hospital was incredibly compassionate - staff, nurses, doctors, and strangers also waiting in the ER. In the 10 minutes between when I got there and when my DH showed up, 3 different women came over to give me tissues, ask if I needed anything, and offer encouragement (of course, none of them knew I'd already been diagnosed with a miscarriage, but they were all very sweet). This was the only positive part of this experience.
After about 20-30 minutes they got me in a room, and cleaned me up. They had to change my gown, bed pads, and blankets 4-5 times during my stay. They also wiped me up. It was very appreciated, even if I felt like I was sitting in a lake of my own blood like 5 minutes after getting cleaned up.
I realized the cramps I was having were contractions, and the ER doc and nurse confirmed that. So, they thought at first I would pass the embryo on my own since my body was dilating and I was getting the urge to push. For the next 2-3 hours I had worsening contractions, regularly passing blood clots, but never passing the embryo. The contractions were bad enough I started to throw up. They gave me pain meds at that point. I still felt uncomfortable during the contractions, but was no longer nauseas.
They took me up for another sonogram around 11pm and DH and I saw the embryo, still fully in tact, hanging out in the same area it was last Thursday. The ER doc saw that and confirmed at that point I would *not* be able to pass it on my own and that the embryo was stuck.
By luck, a doctor from my regular OB/GYN practice was there delivering a baby upstairs. Once he finished, he came to meet with me and very quickly decided to do a D&C. At this point, it was around 11:30pm. I was exhausted and just wanted to be done with the process. I was so relieved when he said they were going to get me into an OR stat and get me taken care of.
Around 12:30 I was rolled into the OR. The anesthesiologist and nurse were there. I asked what the strange taste was, and woke up in recovery. I felt - and still feel - so much relief after the pain of yesterday. I feel so lucky that I knew last Thursday that I'd had a miscarriage, otherwise I cannot imagine going through what happened yesterday and learning for the first time I was miscarrying. It was already so painful - physically and emotionally - I am so so sorry to every woman who has found out about their miscarriage by bleeding. That would be so scary.
So, that's my story. Lots of blood. Lots of pain. Unexpected. But now it's done. I'm thankful for the compassion everyone had for me and DH. I'm thankful for DH for being with me all night and giving me whatever I needed and is taking care of me today (even though I feel - physically - wonderful compared to the last few days). I waited a week to schedule the D&C because I had a trial tomorrow (2/28). Next time (knock on wood there won't be one), I will schedule the D&C ASAP and deal with it then, rather than waiting and having it come at a time I can't control anyway.
TL;DR - I knew I was having a miscarriage and scheduled a D&C. Before the D&C, I started gushing blood and clots while at work, drove to the ER, went into labor and was having cramps and contractions, and ended up getting an emergency D&C in the ER. Don't be like me, schedule your D&C as soon as you can if that is the route you are going.
I wanted to share my miscarriage story because it feels therapeutic to me, and this seems like an acceptable place to do that. If it's not, just tell me and I'll delete it. I will warn you it's graphic. Less graphic TL;Dr at the end.
This is my first pregnancy. Went in for my first sonogram last Thursday (2/22) with DH, since this was supposed to be a "fun" appointment. The tech showed us the embryo and sac, measured it (6+6, though I should have been 9+6), and let us know the bad news that we should have been hearing a loud clear heartbeat but weren't. She then took us to an exam room and told us the doctor would be right in. We were heartbroken and had tons of questions -- but it took the doctor 45 minutes to get to our room, and the office was closing in 5 minutes. So, we focused on next steps: why haven't I had any symptoms; do I have to get a D&C, take a pill? How long will this last? Doc told us that I'd had a missed miscarriage, and my body still thought it was pregnant. Because of that, I was not likely to miscarry on my own for weeks, or even months. Her suggestion was to do a D&C, which we could schedule at our convenience, and she also gave me the option of taking a pill, though that is also somewhat imprecise and of course more painful. We planned for a D&C, and scheduled that for Fri, 3/2.
The next day, Friday 2/23, I started getting some light cramping and bleeding. Doc office assured it was normal, probably caused by sonogram, and to keep D&C appointment for the following week. Cramping and bleeding continued over the weekend.
Monday I was at work, went to stand up and was covered in blood. I ran to the bathroom and had a large clot. The pad I was wearing was soaked (as was the underwear, my dress, my socks, and shoes). I looked like a horror movie -- blood running down my legs, the whole shebang. I decided to drive myself to the ER and have DH meet me there. I drove to the ER on a whole roll of paper towels trying to save my car (it worked!), and walked in to an overcrowded ER around 7pm. The nurses immediately saw what was happening (I was bleeding this whole time), and rushed over with a wheel chair and warm blankets to cover me up. Everyone at the hospital was incredibly compassionate - staff, nurses, doctors, and strangers also waiting in the ER. In the 10 minutes between when I got there and when my DH showed up, 3 different women came over to give me tissues, ask if I needed anything, and offer encouragement (of course, none of them knew I'd already been diagnosed with a miscarriage, but they were all very sweet). This was the only positive part of this experience.
After about 20-30 minutes they got me in a room, and cleaned me up. They had to change my gown, bed pads, and blankets 4-5 times during my stay. They also wiped me up. It was very appreciated, even if I felt like I was sitting in a lake of my own blood like 5 minutes after getting cleaned up.
I realized the cramps I was having were contractions, and the ER doc and nurse confirmed that. So, they thought at first I would pass the embryo on my own since my body was dilating and I was getting the urge to push. For the next 2-3 hours I had worsening contractions, regularly passing blood clots, but never passing the embryo. The contractions were bad enough I started to throw up. They gave me pain meds at that point. I still felt uncomfortable during the contractions, but was no longer nauseas.
They took me up for another sonogram around 11pm and DH and I saw the embryo, still fully in tact, hanging out in the same area it was last Thursday. The ER doc saw that and confirmed at that point I would *not* be able to pass it on my own and that the embryo was stuck.
By luck, a doctor from my regular OB/GYN practice was there delivering a baby upstairs. Once he finished, he came to meet with me and very quickly decided to do a D&C. At this point, it was around 11:30pm. I was exhausted and just wanted to be done with the process. I was so relieved when he said they were going to get me into an OR stat and get me taken care of.
Around 12:30 I was rolled into the OR. The anesthesiologist and nurse were there. I asked what the strange taste was, and woke up in recovery. I felt - and still feel - so much relief after the pain of yesterday. I feel so lucky that I knew last Thursday that I'd had a miscarriage, otherwise I cannot imagine going through what happened yesterday and learning for the first time I was miscarrying. It was already so painful - physically and emotionally - I am so so sorry to every woman who has found out about their miscarriage by bleeding. That would be so scary.
So, that's my story. Lots of blood. Lots of pain. Unexpected. But now it's done. I'm thankful for the compassion everyone had for me and DH. I'm thankful for DH for being with me all night and giving me whatever I needed and is taking care of me today (even though I feel - physically - wonderful compared to the last few days). I waited a week to schedule the D&C because I had a trial tomorrow (2/28). Next time (knock on wood there won't be one), I will schedule the D&C ASAP and deal with it then, rather than waiting and having it come at a time I can't control anyway.
TL;DR - I knew I was having a miscarriage and scheduled a D&C. Before the D&C, I started gushing blood and clots while at work, drove to the ER, went into labor and was having cramps and contractions, and ended up getting an emergency D&C in the ER. Don't be like me, schedule your D&C as soon as you can if that is the route you are going.
Me: 36 | DH: 41 | Married: 9/29/07 | DD: December 2018 | BFP: 2/1/21, EDD: 10/6/21
Re: My Miscarriage Story (Trigger Warning: TMI & Graphic)
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
Back on Levothyroxine
FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt,
1st Beta on 7dpt 93
2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!
TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF
IUI
IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine
IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
I'm glad everyone was so kind, the hospital staff when I went in were all super nice as well.