@marcus7676 I'm sorry if I offended you- was not my intention to offend anyone that EPed or will EP.
I have just watched a couple women over the past couple of years mentally destroy themselves over the need they felt to provide their babies BM even though the babies were having serious latch problems or experiencing food allergies due to the moms diet. The research I did prior to having DD was that it is the actual latch experience that gives BM it's antibody boost. When the baby is nursing they form a vacuum on the nipple which allows them to basically backwash into the mother's body- which is how our bodies know which antibodies need to be produced. If the baby is getting sick, the next time the baby nurses the milk will be a different color from the antibodies being produced. Without this latch, this change in the milk cannot occur. I agree there are still antibodies in BM that are not found in formula- and having a BF'd baby I was told it helped her form better eating habits as she was able to taste different tastes based on my diet while BFing. I just feel that the blanket antibodies that are in EP'd milk wouldn't outweight the stress of dealing with EPing. But I also had a very difficult postpartum period with DD and just don't think I would have dealt well with the added stress of needing to EP- with formula I think i would have felt some of the new mother burden lighten as MH would be just as capable of making a bottle as I was.
Just want to second everything @marcus7676 said about feeding your baby. I had a preemie with feeding problems who didn’t latch, so I ended up EPing for 6 months before gradually switching to entirely to formula. I never produced enough BM and had to supplement with formula the entire time. ANY amount of BM is beneficial for babies, no matter how they get it, so pumping is worth it if you want to do it. And if you don’t want to, that’s cool, too!
I seriously still regret the literal HOURS I spent sobbing over my inability to breastfeed. I firmly and completely believe fed is best, but in my hormonal post-partum state, with a baby in the NICU, I spent days of my life weeping and fretting. I know this experience now makes me over-sensitive to any judgment about how anyone feeds their baby, so I try to largely stay out of any of those conversations, but I just wanted to be another voice for FTMs in particular that there are many ways to nourish your baby, and the right one is the one that works for your family.
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
@jsl82 I get what you're saying about EPing potentially being stressful, but for some moms, formula-feeding may not be an option. BF for me was not just a preference, but also a financial matter. I don't know that we could afford to formula-feed and I sure hope I don't have to find out. My friend's baby had a milk protein allergy and she spent an ungodly amount on different formulas trying to figure out not only what to eliminate from her diet so that she could BF, but what kind of formula her kid could have in the interim. By the time she realized dairy in her diet was causing the issue, baby would not drink BM and had to have a super-pricey soy-based formula, which she really did not want to have to give baby.
@MoonOverGoldsboro I'm over sensitive about it too for much the same reasons. I cried a lot too and felt like a failure that I couldn't even produce milk to feed my baby. But my baby ended up needing to be exclusively formula fed and is rarely sick and has yet to have an ear infection, etc. etc. Someone once pointed out that when you see kids playing on the playground, you'll never be able to pick who was BF or FF. It gave me comfort. I was FF and my sister was BF. We're both healthy and great humans who turned out pretty all right. Having loving parents that feed you and meet your needs to the best of their ability is what is going to be the real takeaway from infancy and childhood. Count me in with those that say fed is best.
Solidarity hugs to you, @Austenista ! One thing I’m really looking forward to with this second baby is being gentle with myself—I’m feeling much more confident this time that I’ll be able to feel strong and happy in my choices, whatever they turn out to be. I hope that’s true for you, too!
I was also FF and I’m super awesome, so I think we’re all gonna be okay.
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Austenista - yes to the playground comment! Shortly after I had dd1 I saw something someone said along the lines of- I stressed breastfeeding for so long then pumping and giving all organic baby food yadda yadda, now as my kid is 3 I just saw him eat a French fry he found under the seat in the car...
Sorry to keep referencing Bringing Up Bebe - FTM here so I don't have any personal experience to draw from - but apparently French babies are almost exclusively FF. I don't think it's particularly harmful in any way, and agree with the sentiment that fed is best. I was also FF (mom struggled to produce) and don't know any difference.
ETA: Totally anecdotal but I don't suffer food allergies, asthma, or any of the other things that BF supposedly protects your baby from.
Also re: antibodies in BM, this isn't the most evidence-based article but it does call into question the idea that baby's saliva causes Mom to produce the antibodies it needs. While there are some antibodies in BM that can be beneficial it's possible that Mom's body will do that regardless of the latch. I think the science is still unclear on how much and how effective BM is at helping babies' immune systems. https://www.skepticalob.com/2015/09/mothers-and-babies-communicate-through-breastmilk-at-the-moment-thats-wishful-thinking.html
LSS fed is best, be it BF, FF, EP, combo, whatever. And vaccines are far more effective and important for strengthening your child's immune system than breast milk is. (That's one hill I will certainly die on)
Understood @jsl82 Like others, I am a bit sensitive on the topic given all my struggles. I beat myself up so much in the postpartum haze and hope that I will be able to see clearly this time around if BFing doesn't work. But in all honesty, I know I'm probably going to struggle if I can't BF again this time around due to all the societal and personal pressures. I just wish I could move beyond that.
@marcus7676 again, sorry to have upset you. I really don't care how anyone feeds their baby- as long as it is fed- and I'm glad you found a way to feed your LO. I just don't agree with the societal pressures that make women that are unable to BF feel like they have to EP. The EPing moms I know just seemed to be under so much more stress than the moms who gave up and formula fed who just always seemed more relaxed with their choice. In general I feel like a happy and less stressed mama has to be better for baby than any BM antibody. I also whole heartedly agree with @elsie42 that vaccines are so much more important.
Re: UO Thursday (2/22)
I have just watched a couple women over the past couple of years mentally destroy themselves over the need they felt to provide their babies BM even though the babies were having serious latch problems or experiencing food allergies due to the moms diet. The research I did prior to having DD was that it is the actual latch experience that gives BM it's antibody boost. When the baby is nursing they form a vacuum on the nipple which allows them to basically backwash into the mother's body- which is how our bodies know which antibodies need to be produced. If the baby is getting sick, the next time the baby nurses the milk will be a different color from the antibodies being produced. Without this latch, this change in the milk cannot occur. I agree there are still antibodies in BM that are not found in formula- and having a BF'd baby I was told it helped her form better eating habits as she was able to taste different tastes based on my diet while BFing. I just feel that the blanket antibodies that are in EP'd milk wouldn't outweight the stress of dealing with EPing. But I also had a very difficult postpartum period with DD and just don't think I would have dealt well with the added stress of needing to EP- with formula I think i would have felt some of the new mother burden lighten as MH would be just as capable of making a bottle as I was.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
I seriously still regret the literal HOURS I spent sobbing over my inability to breastfeed. I firmly and completely believe fed is best, but in my hormonal post-partum state, with a baby in the NICU, I spent days of my life weeping and fretting. I know this experience now makes me over-sensitive to any judgment about how anyone feeds their baby, so I try to largely stay out of any of those conversations, but I just wanted to be another voice for FTMs in particular that there are many ways to nourish your baby, and the right one is the one that works for your family.
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
My friend's baby had a milk protein allergy and she spent an ungodly amount on different formulas trying to figure out not only what to eliminate from her diet so that she could BF, but what kind of formula her kid could have in the interim. By the time she realized dairy in her diet was causing the issue, baby would not drink BM and had to have a super-pricey soy-based formula, which she really did not want to have to give baby.
I was also FF and I’m super awesome, so I think we’re all gonna be okay.
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
ETA: Totally anecdotal but I don't suffer food allergies, asthma, or any of the other things that BF supposedly protects your baby from.
https://www.skepticalob.com/2015/09/mothers-and-babies-communicate-through-breastmilk-at-the-moment-thats-wishful-thinking.html
LSS fed is best, be it BF, FF, EP, combo, whatever. And vaccines are far more effective and important for strengthening your child's immune system than breast milk is. (That's one hill I will certainly die on)
DS born 9/24/2020
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18