My bitch from yesterday was that while I am working hard on our dept's website revision, there is one faculty member who has lots of useless opinions on what she thinks should be done but won't join the committee I formed. And then a fellow staff member volunteered to join the committee but I have no idea why--she knows nothing about websites and social media and doesn't try to learn more, and yesterday she couldn't even figure out how to move files from her computer to the shared drive I created. I don't have time to help her pretend to know what she's doing just so she can add yet another committee to her job description...when she is already working overtime every week for no reason. Like, if u don't have time for your regular job, stay out of my committee. And my other coworker who is also my best friend outside of work keeps saying she wants to do more web stuff (and also joined the committee) but has taken zero initiative besides insisting on being included in meetings she doesn't need to go to. Meetings do not = doing the work. I think I am literally the only person in my Dept with the initiative and self-taught skills to actually do this project but every else also wants to take credit.
Clearly I need to take a stronger position as lead of the committee but we just formed and I'm only working two days a week and have other responsibilities besides the website work. I have given very specific tasks to the committee and gotten nothing back. It's so encouraging.... I better get a 4 or 5 on my review this month.
@flockofmoosen3 this dog will eat cat poop out of the litter box if it doesn’t have a cover. He’s an animal! Idk if we’ll get another dog when he passes, but we’ve got some time to go.. He’s 3 lol
@flockofmoosen3 one of our dogs eats frozen poop all the time, and after the last snow, he couldn't find frozen shit so he...wait for it....ate the poop he JUST pooped. Ew.
@acunamatada This helped me explain to my parents, husband, brothers, sisters, and the older nieces and nephews what the dogs can and cannot have. It's been a good reference point on the fridge for the nieces and nephews especially. My lab loved the trash! He knew how to push open the lid and dump things out to get what he wanted. Needless to say, he ate a lot of garlic over his years. Until one day, we learned he was not a fan of lemon...muahahahaha! We bought lemon essential oil and put it on a napkin in the trash. The fat boy didn't touch the trash after that. Glad your stinker is feeling better.
@zombiehoohaa My dog would argue that potatoes, french fries in particular, should be on the healthy list.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
That list is great! one addition Xylitol (bottom of the harmful list) can also be in peanut butter. So check your peanut better before you give it to your pup!
Yea when we were young and stupid we taught our little man how to do tricks with french fries - dog would do anything for a french fry - now he's almost 9 and has chronic pancreatitis and is on a strict no people food diet but still dives for cooking mishaps and the toddler is his best friend because she feeds him goldfish if we aren't looking - then his stomach sounds like an angry cat for 2 days.
My BF is just work - same (fill in expletive here) manager going rogue and making my life hell in new and exciting ways. I have 20 PM's and roughly 200 projects to oversee, but I have to keep riding shotgun on this ONE freaking project and praying the rest don't implode because another department in our own freaking company keeps nuclear bombing my team. I got 10 people IMing me, 1 person screen sharing to check a presentation deck, and another manager calling me with a client issue all while trying to get DD out the door for a Dr appointment...needless to say my HR shot up to 160. I called DH on the way to the doctor half in tears from frustration/anger to just hear a friendly voice. Days like today I just want to quit and laugh in their faces on my way out the door...but 1) need the money up here in tax state hell and 2) need the awesome health insurance until this kid is delivered.
On the bright side - my MIL (who usually drives me nuts) was very helpful today and I actually appreciated her drop in because she was able to change DD and put her down for a nap -- kid's been violently protesting both activities lately so it was nice not to wrestle her.
Ugh still dealing with drama from a former director report. He feels entitled to be promoted when various leadership don’t think so. So now he’s going to HR even using the word “discriminated”. He just doesn’t have what it takes, he doesn’t follow process, and his maturity is not at a supervisor level. He wants to be a supervisor but also have the privilege to work from home all the time. This guy is in his early 40s and acts like a high schooler sometimes. So now i have a meeting with HR tomorrow to talk about him.
My BF is my bro. His wife was induced yesterday. He called at 5 to say he was leaving to sleep. She told me she asked him not to go and he was drunk and he left with a female friend of theirs to stay at her house. He was drunk before the hospital and brought alcohol there. I told my dad, my dad screamed at him he went back at 2am.
Flash forward to today, when I get another text from her, stalled at a 5, saying he left to eat and has been gone for two hours. Call him, he's drunk and on his way back, passes out on the couch when he gets in teh room. He just texted my dad and said the doc told him to "Go out for one last smoke, its go time." I'm just so so so frustrated that the one time someone needs him to be the opposite of the person he is he is literally incapable of staying sober. I know he's an addict and this is a stressful situation but I am so mad at him right now, and sad for future him (assuming he gets sober and doesn't die) when he realizes what he did. I don't even know if his wife will stick around.
@smashjam this is so sad! I'm so sorry your family is dealing with this and my heart goes out to his wife who probably really needs him there. Hope he can get the help he needs, and soon!
@SmashJam oh man I’m so sorry that is so sad and frustrating. I feel for your SIL, that’s such a tough spot for a new mom to be in, I hope she has some support and your brother gets it together.
@SmashJam that sucks, I'm sorry, addiction is a beast. Do you think that this baby will be a catalyst for redemption?? I know it shouldn't take something like that for him to see the light...
@SmashJam she must have the patience of a saint... I am not sure whattheir history is like, but that is some divorce shit in my book, ESPECIALLY if it was a planned induction...and I am very tolerant.
Sorry this is happening. I hope for his sake he gets help.
@SmashJam I’m sorry you have to deal with that. It’s hard to be a sibling and have no real control. Addiction is a really horrible thing and it’s got to be ridiculously hard for everyone, including his poor wife. I hope he decides he wants to get better.
Thanks everyone! He called me crying that she's here. I dunno if it will be a catalyst to get clean or not considering he kept saying leading up to this that this was the best reason he ever had to get clean and he still couldn't make it through 24 hours without being hammered...at the hospital. I just hope there are no consequences, like they won't let them leave because they noticed he brought alcohol or was drunk during his time there. I just have to remember...I cannot fix it. I cannot fix it.
@SmashJam I'm really sorry you and your family are having to deal with that. Addiction is a tricky mutherf-er...I hope he seeks help now that his baby is here. CONGRATULATIONS, AUNTIE!!!!
@SmashJam I hope that’s what he needs to get clean. The stress of a newborn can be a trigger for addicts, it might get worse before it gets better. DH is an addict, he relapsed soon after DS was born and I didn’t even realize in my newborn haze. I was very close to leaving him when he finally came clean to what’d he’d been doing and asked for help. In the end, nothing will change unless he wants it for himself. ETA I hope everything works out for him and your family, addiction really effects everyone involved. And CONGRATS! I hope you get tons of newborn snuggles, I’d kill for some of that new baby smell right now.
@nimmle great news! I can't believe how much Zika is messing up travel plans across the board. @wildtot he does sound like a manchild. HR meetings are not fun but necessary @gingerbride26 I can relate, I was in a similar work situation! I quit before we got pregnant though so I understand you need to stay now. I don't want to get political but it kills me that we need to stay in shitty jobs because we need health insurance...ugh...I won't go there... I'm glad you're getting some support from MIL!
@smashjam sorry you're dealing with that. I have a brother who is an addict as well and it's so frustrating to watch and not be able to do anything. He recently had a psychotic episode brought on by longterm cocaine and xanax use and it was so scary. When he came down from it he said he would stop coke but refuses to stop the other stuff he does. He seems on the outside to somewhat have his act together so everyone just brushes it under the rug and pretends it doesn't exist. I just let him know I'm here if and when he decides to get help, but you cant make someone get help. They have to want it.
My H is not an addict per se but he struggles with compulsive behavior and addictive tendencies that leads him to make bad decisions over and over. He struggles with certain vices that hurt our relationship and we've realized he has to be in a 12 step program of some sort to keep himself grounded. But to get to that point he had to mess up repeatedly, especially in the wake of our son being born, to get to the point he's at now. But now I really think our son and impending new babe are keeping him motivated to stick with it and he's super devoted. I hope all works out for your brother and his new family.
@acunamatada@zande2016 wow what amazing stories. I find myself constantly struggling with the "love the person hate the addiction," but my relationship to him as a sister is different than that of a spouse. I tell my brother when its at its worst that not everyone can stick by him. Yes we all know its addiction but we all have a breaking point and I've warned him he doesn't know what people's breaking points are...he might lose people he loves if he continues to refuse to seek treatment and stick with it. Right now he is constantly just trying to "kick it on his own." He did it with heroin (to some extent, I just found out he's used twice in the last year) so he keeps thinking he can do it with alcohol, but alcohol is so ingrained in society its harder for him to kick and he won't find help He has hep-c too so its killing him faster than it would the typical alcoholic.
You guys are amazing to continue to help your spouses through this every day. I have much respect for my sis in law she could have walked out but she doesn't, she keeps trying to help him because she loves him.
@smashjam oh trust me if he weren't taking affirmative steps to Better himself and was continuing down that path, i would have left him. And he knows it, which I think helped him get his act together. Right now he goes to 3 meetings per week because that's what he feels he needs, and he knows I need to see that level of commitment from him. I am not sure if I could Have forgiven what your brother did to your sister in law though, that's so tough.
@SmashJam I take the “do it on my own” statements with like, a handful of salt. Not that it’s not possible, but a person wanting to do it alone is at a serious disadvantage. Plus, just my opinion, but if you’re not willing to be transparent and honest with yourself enough to accept support, you’re probably not ready. Major props to your SIL for sticking through it, I really hope it works out for her. It takes a lot to see the person through their addiction when they’re in the thick of it.
@zande2016@SmashJam also yeah, I was SO close to leaving DH when he was actively using. I had my suspicions and he’d lie to my face. If he didn’t come clean when he did I would have been gone, and he knew that. I think that helped him get clean too, knowing how much more he had to lose. Thankfully there were very few back steps after he got help, but it’ll always be something I’m looking out for now. It’s changed our relationship in that way, but I think that’s par for the course. It’s only been a couple years.
Re: Monday Bitchfest 2/12
I think I am literally the only person in my Dept with the initiative and self-taught skills to actually do this project but every else also wants to take credit.
Clearly I need to take a stronger position as lead of the committee but we just formed and I'm only working two days a week and have other responsibilities besides the website work. I have given very specific tasks to the committee and gotten nothing back. It's so encouraging....
I better get a 4 or 5 on my review this month.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@moguippy Definitely!! It's also in yogurt....My aussie loves yogurt. So I have to find one that doesn't have artificial sweetener in it.
@acunamatada
My BF is just work - same (fill in expletive here) manager going rogue and making my life hell in new and exciting ways. I have 20 PM's and roughly 200 projects to oversee, but I have to keep riding shotgun on this ONE freaking project and praying the rest don't implode because another department in our own freaking company keeps nuclear bombing my team. I got 10 people IMing me, 1 person screen sharing to check a presentation deck, and another manager calling me with a client issue all while trying to get DD out the door for a Dr appointment...needless to say my HR shot up to 160. I called DH on the way to the doctor half in tears from frustration/anger to just hear a friendly voice. Days like today I just want to quit and laugh in their faces on my way out the door...but 1) need the money up here in tax state hell and 2) need the awesome health insurance until this kid is delivered.
On the bright side - my MIL (who usually drives me nuts) was very helpful today and I actually appreciated her drop in because she was able to change DD and put her down for a nap -- kid's been violently protesting both activities lately so it was nice not to wrestle her.
Flash forward to today, when I get another text from her, stalled at a 5, saying he left to eat and has been gone for two hours. Call him, he's drunk and on his way back, passes out on the couch when he gets in teh room. He just texted my dad and said the doc told him to "Go out for one last smoke, its go time." I'm just so so so frustrated that the one time someone needs him to be the opposite of the person he is he is literally incapable of staying sober. I know he's an addict and this is a stressful situation but I am so mad at him right now, and sad for future him (assuming he gets sober and doesn't die) when he realizes what he did. I don't even know if his wife will stick around.
Sorry this is happening. I hope for his sake he gets help.
On the upside, she's adorbs.
CONGRATULATIONS, AUNTIE!!!!
ETA I hope everything works out for him and your family, addiction really effects everyone involved.
And CONGRATS! I hope you get tons of newborn snuggles, I’d kill for some of that new baby smell right now.
@wildtot he does sound like a manchild. HR meetings are not fun but necessary
@gingerbride26 I can relate, I was in a similar work situation! I quit before we got pregnant though so I understand you need to stay now. I don't want to get political but it kills me that we need to stay in shitty jobs because we need health insurance...ugh...I won't go there... I'm glad you're getting some support from MIL!
My H is not an addict per se but he struggles with compulsive behavior and addictive tendencies that leads him to make bad decisions over and over. He struggles with certain vices that hurt our relationship and we've realized he has to be in a 12 step program of some sort to keep himself grounded. But to get to that point he had to mess up repeatedly, especially in the wake of our son being born, to get to the point he's at now. But now I really think our son and impending new babe are keeping him motivated to stick with it and he's super devoted. I hope all works out for your brother and his new family.
You guys are amazing to continue to help your spouses through this every day. I have much respect for my sis in law she could have walked out but she doesn't, she keeps trying to help him because she loves him.
Major props to your SIL for sticking through it, I really hope it works out for her. It takes a lot to see the person through their addiction when they’re in the thick of it.
using. I had my suspicions and he’d lie to my face. If he didn’t come clean when he did I would have been gone, and he knew that. I think that helped him get clean too, knowing how much more he had to lose. Thankfully there were very few back steps after he got help, but it’ll always be something I’m looking out for now. It’s changed our relationship in that way, but I think that’s par for the course. It’s only been a couple years.