PGAL Check In 31 January

mdfarmchick

@chasingroygbiv have you tried the soy lecinthin this time to help with the clogged ducts? That’s the only thing that stops mine. 

@senora76

BrittnieMariee

I’m already an emotional wreck today because Emma is sick. But it’s also the anniversary of my loss. I’m not sure how I’m feeling but it’s definitely not good. 

chasingroygbiv

I haven’t tried it, but I plan to! I just tossed an old bottle I had and it was full. So sad, such a waste! @mdfarmchick

Oh @BrittnieMariee Hugs!! Hang in there! 

mdfarmchick

@BrittnieMariee oh man. I’m sorry. I hope Emma is better ASAP and that tomorrow is a better day. Hugs. It’s okay to not know how you feel.

BrittnieMariee

@chasingroygbiv @mdfarmchick thank you both. I’m just glad I made it through the day. 

senora76

Hugs @BrittnieMariee This was a loaded month for us as well.  We lost Mars March 6 one year ago then welcomed Nova March 14... Having juat had Mars 16 mos ago in the same hospital some of the samw nurses were there... I find now that I’m empty of baby, I have a hard time going places by myself because I go down the rabbit hole all too easily... Its really complecated... Be kind to yourself and ask for help if you need it- ❤️

BrittnieMariee

@senora76 you are so strong! I can’t imagine how you must feel through all of this. My loss was at 8 weeks 3 days and I remember so much of what happened that day. It’s probably something that will always stick with me. I’ve never been good with grief and it was my first loss. 

senora76

@BrittnieMariee thanks for the vote of confidence.  I definitely dont feel strong.  I feel broken most days... but I’m forced to go on because of my other children.  my husband struggles too- and Mars was his only child until we had Nova... he’s insisting on Nova wearing the owlet practically all day and is freaked out with me taking her everywhere as I did with Mars which is driving me insane. I’m very independent and my older kids have a lot going on they need me for, mostly rides LOL. Hismom and sister are coming in from Spain on Monday to stay with us for 3 weeks. They speak no english and I speak Spanish like a 6 year old at best. My husband is back at work 3 days into their visit... lets see how strong I am then!!!  2br 1 bathroom, 800 square feet for my teenager, my 160lb tween, my 2 psycho chiweenie asshole dogs, my spaniard, our newborn, My Spanish mother in law and my sister in law who although is in her early 20s is more of a peer of my children... did i mention we have 1 bathroom? Anxiety through the roof over this....trying to remain chill!

chasingroygbiv

@senora76 Oooh, my anxiety just sky rocketed reading that. No joke!! Hang in there, try to hide away in your room with Nova as much as you’re able, ha! 

BrittnieMariee

@senora76 just by going on you prove how strong you are! I totally understand your husband being so nervous. I hope the results of her genetic test come with good news so you guys can relax a tiny bit. Good luck with your ILs though lol mine live next door!

mdfarmchick

Oh @senora76 that sounds stressful. We are hear for you whenever you need to talk/vent/escape. Also, hugs on the adjustment period for both of you with an outside baby. It’s not very practical or possible to keep Nova in a bubble, no matter how much safer it would be and better for the anxiety.

senora76

@chasingroygbiv @BrittnieMariee @mdfarmchick thanks for the support... no idea how it will all go down!!!  kids are back at school and no clue how i will take care of my kids and not have my MIL constantly tell me i shouldnt be taking my newborn places- she already told jose she is too young to use a carseat wtfffff

BrittnieMariee

“Too young for a car seat”??? What?? That’s insane omg!!

ashtuesday

@BrittnieMariee @senora76 I'm so sorry to hear what you ladies have been going through.  @BrittnieMariee , I hope you've made it through to the other side of your anniversary and are feeling good things - and I hope Emma's feeling better!  @senora76 , I too am SO stressed out for you - but you will get through it!  It will be great bonding time with Nova - your first experience where you can roll your eyes at each other when your in-laws are driving you crazy 

Yesterday, I had my 6-week check-up.  Nora was born a month early, and I know that means future babies have a higher risk of being born pre-term.  I asked my doctor what that means for future pregnancies: she said that when I'm pregnant next, starting around 16 weeks, I'll have to go in every two weeks for a shot of progesterone and an ultrasound.  Call me crazy... but that feels like hitting the PGAL lottery!  I get to actively take something that will help my pregnancy progress AND I get to check in on my LO every two weeks?  Sign me up!

BrittnieMariee

@ashtuesday thank you. I’m slowly starting to come out of the fog of the anniversary. I’ve just been trying to focus on Emma and DS as much as possible. DH has helped a lot too. I’m not sure he was even upset about it?? Emma is still sick but I think she’s slowly getting better. 

That is awesome that they already told you you’d get all that extra monitoring! I’m sure that’s a huge relief! We haven’t decided if we’re having another child or not, so at my 6 week PP appointment I’m getting the nexplanon put in and I’m kind of nervous about it. 

senora76

@ashtuesday since i had vance at 35 weeks i had progesterone suppositories from 16-36 weeks with Mars and with Nova they had me do makena shots from 16-36 weeks plus see an MFM throughout.  Rather be over cared for than under cared for!

I saw my bereavement therapist today which was super helpful- she reminded me im a 41 year old mother of 4 children...its not like i NEED advice how to parent... hopefully my MIL will remember this - she seems to respect my parenting of my older kids... we’ll see... she lands in less than 48 hours...

mdfarmchick

@senora76 how is the visit with your ILs going so far?

How is everyone else doing this week?

senora76

@mdfarmchick ill tell you this will be a lot worse if this was my first kid, and if we never had/lost Mars... however its pretty hard... My MIL has been an in person grandma for 4 days and I’ve been a mother for 15 years. Granted, shes been a mom a lot longer, I don’t love how she raised her kids... I respect her, but do not want my children to come out like my SIL who is 22 and cant make a decision and has zero ambition- she acts younger than my boys with less reaponsibility.  I know there are cultural dofferences but even my husband is concerned- his saving grace is that his folks were so young when he was born he was raised mainly by his grandparents...I can see the fruit of my labor- we all can- my older sons are responsible, respectful, and contribute to our household... I’ve had to stand up and tell MIL to NOT do the kids chores, I’ve had to put my foot down when its 80 degrees in our house and turn on the AC (which they hate), MiL says my milk is “como agua” because my baby cluster feeds in the evening. Shes constantly telling me that  my milk is bad and im starving her... Weve had this great pattern of evening cluster feeds followed by nights where she goes 3 1/2-4 hours between feeds... I cant even explain this to them
because I speak spanish like a 6 year old... so im taking them to the dr with me monday so they can ask all their questions... this is california and our dr speaks their language.  The first 3 nights nova slept terribly waking every 1-2 hrs to eat because instead od clusterfeed my MiL would take her force a chupie in her mouth and wrap her in so many blankets shed fall asleep... last night i finally was like no mas! dh helped me tryyy to explain the cluster feed thing and i was able to get her back feed feed feed then after she already passed our i handed her to grandma.  Ughhh... sorry this is so long but im losing my mind!!!!   Dh returns to work Monday and im stuck by myself for the next 2 weeks. MIL says shes too small for a car seat so gives me drama any time I leave... My favorite part of the day is our night times...

I must say I didnt know how this would be for me and dH but its been really good for us- I do feel like he and I are a team.  More so now than ever...

How is everyone else doing????  Love seeing the babies in the bump weekly...  I was thinking about restarting this group on weds but not sure how to do that... 

As for my pgal worries- geneticist said the test takes longer than anticipated- we should know by april 20... we use rhe owlet religiously. this baby looks so much like me compared to mars who was 100% my husband- she didnt get his red hair or his nose so maybe she didnt get his cardiac channelopathy either... only time will tell.  DHs anxiery attacks have lessened since we started using the owlet.

BrittnieMariee

@senora76 you’re handling your mil a lot better than I would lol although my mil learned early on not to question my decisions as a parent. But she is also my neighbor and we speak the same language. 
Emma also cluster feeds every evening. She usually starts at 6/7 and goes until 9/10! She’ll take little breaks between feeds but then she normally sleeps 3-4 hours after the first time she goes down for the night. 

Luckily it seems like most of my anxiety is gone. I still keep her with me all the time. Sometimes during the day I put her down so I can clean or spend time with DS. I usually take it one day at a time and that seems to help. 

senora76

@BrittnieMariee Nova is exactly like Emma- that mimics our evenings as well and I dont mind at all because the long stretches at night are great!  

BrittnieMariee

@senora76 I totally agree! Sleeping for just 4 hours instead of 2 makes such a huge difference! One night she actually slept for 5 hours and I was so disoriented lol