PGAL Check In 31 January

mdfarmchick

PGAL Check In (01/31)

General Trigger Warning for this post!

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How many weeks are you?

Any appointments this week?

How are you doing? Dear diary posts are encouraged!

mdfarmchick

35 +5 weeks

No appointments this week. I have one next week and then will go to weekly appointments. 

Well I just got sick with no warning all over the floor in my living room and yesterday I could barely walk so... I’m going to go with, I feel super guilty for wanting this pregnancy to be over already. I randomly have anxiety over not feeling him move, even though he’s a lot more active than my first. And I have officially hit the “google everything, it could be labor or something bad” phase of pregnancy. I’m also struggling with setting an induction date, even though I know it is 100% the right thing to do. So many conflicted feelings at the end right now. 

chasingroygbiv

How many weeks are you?

37+3

Any appointments this week?

Tomorrow, last u/s. Can they tell me what my cervix is up to would you think? Or would an exam be the best way?

How are you doing? Dear diary posts are encouraged!
Still lots of anxiety like last week about anything and everything. Bags are packed and the nursery is ready. Siblings are getting anxious and asking everyday, “will the baby come today?!” I’d be ready if it weren’t for flu season and wanting to keep baby in that bubble awhile longer! Physically? Sooo many contractions/period like cramping. Nausea. Lack of appetite. Increased sense of smell is back and ugh, that’s not helping matters any! Reflux and indigestion is a lot better. One thing I’ve noticed and I know it generally means nothing is I have yet to lose any of my mucus plug. With my other two I lost it early, like 34 and 36 weeks? Still didn’t deliver until weeks later, but just thought that’s strange! 

@mdfarmchick It seems like we are feeling similarly both mentally and physically. How close are we again? 

GG620

How many weeks are you? 
33 + 4

Any appointments this week?
I have one on Monday but it will probably be the usual fetal monitor and blood pressure and see you in 2 weeks

How are you doing? Dear diary posts are encouraged!  I am starting to feel so impatient! I can't wait for the 36 week appt to get an u/s and see if baby has flipped / how she is measuring etc. I am getting so excited to meet this little girl. Not to mention work has ramped up like no other and my office sucks. They seem to just want to act like im not leaving and keep piling on more work than I've ever had / not training anyone to replace me etc. It doesn't help that I think I am definitely a little more emotional this past week and work is really ticking me off. Anywho, rant over haha. 

@chasingroygbiv ahhh you are so close!! So exciting

mdfarmchick

@chasingroygbiv home stretch! Yay for contractions that are probably helping you to dialate. I think that they’d do an exam to check your cervix but if you ask, they will. I’m torn between wanting the contractions right now and worrying it’s too early. Hugs. We are almost there!

@GG620 hopefully work doesn’t get too stressful and baby has turned. 

BrittnieMariee

How many weeks are you?
36 weeks today! (Finally, this last trimester is draaaaaaagging!)

Any appointments this week?
Had another BPP today (we actually saw a tiny bit of hair on her head and I was a little too excited about it). And a follow up with my OB. Still unsure if I’ll be able to TOLAC (I should find out next week with the MFM), but they did my GBS test today though. Ugh. 

How are you doing?
Mostly good. I’m just getting impatient now. But either way I’m having a February baby and she’ll be here no later than 3 weeks from today *cue freak out because we’re all so close omg*

senora76

How many weeks are you? 31+6 can I just say 32 (its saturday somewhere on the planet!)

Any appointments this week? Makena shot - appt Monday... Still itching and waiting for the cholestasis test to be back... taking forever... Bile Salts take 1-2 weeks to come back.

How are you doing? Dear diary posts are encouraged! I’m a mess still...cannot wait until I take my maternity leave...

@mdfarmchick I feel guilty about disliking pregnancy as well... I’ve never been fond of it, but I love being a mom so much... Its the worst this time for me.  I started this pregnancy just wanting ti get back to being parents with DH because we were totally robbed only 3 1/2 mos in and it just feels like I’ve been pregnant for 2 years straight and I am the most out of shape and uncomfortable out of all my pregnancies not to mention paranoid, dellusional, depressed... did I mention incontinent? I am furthest out from everyone here... and am incredibly ready to just have my baby in my arms even though I know she needs more time in there...

@chasingroygbiv i lost my mucus plug with #1 about 2 days before he was due- i was 4 cm for a few weeks already and he was born 40w2d by induction... I never lost my mucus plug with #2 and he was born at 35 weeks on his own, #3 did not lose a plug either, he was 10 days early also on his own... mucus plug def means you are close, but I wouldnt put too much weight into it if you havent lost it yet...

@GG620 I feel you... my baby is still breech and I am still at work and my boss is seriously working me knowing my last day is looming in the distance!

@BrittnieMariee what is TOLAC?

Did you guys see @leilaquinn had her baby boy Romeo? She posted in the arrivals thread?

More bereavement therapy this weekend along with accupuncture... hoping this baby turns... and I am able to learn to live in my warped 3rd trimester headspace a little while longer.

BrittnieMariee

@senora76 a TOLAC is “Trial of Labor After Cesarean”, it’s what they call it before birth since it can either end in a successful VBAC or a RCS.
I’m sorry you’re so far away and having such a hard time! I hope it’s quick for you. Third trimester is seriously the worst. 

senora76

@BrittnieMariee thanks and good luck with that!  You do not have too much longer to go!

This is the closest ive come to needing a c/s and im petrified of it...  I'm also scared to do an ECV due to the risks and have read since I have an anterior placenta, its less likely to be successful... just need the baby to turn!

My knuckles are blue... the top knuckles are all blue and the middle ones are just slightly tinged... I sent a pic to my dr to see what he thinks... im falling apart!

BrittnieMariee

@senora76 I’m insanely close. No matter what she’ll be here no later than the 22nd! I’m freaking out because I still have so much left on my To Do list! 

In my personal experience my CS wasn’t too bad. It was mostly traumatizing after I found out I stopped breathing. I didn’t even know because I was put under. However, I recovered quickly. My doctor was amazing. My total recovery wasn’t as bad as I had imagined it would be. And after a few months I had all of the feeling back in my abdomen (except for right where my scar is). I do hope your baby turns though! You should still have time! I’ve read that some babies may wait until as late as 37 weeks to turn head down!

mdfarmchick

@BrittnieMariee mine will be here no later than 4 weeks from today and I am having all the feels. I hope you get your VBAC. 

BrittnieMariee

@mdfarmchick it’s so scary isn’t it?? I’m going over my to do list constantly and DH is so annoyed at me. While I’m sitting here like “we have less than 3 weeks! Come on!!” lol

I guess I find out officially on Tuesday about my TOLAC and I’m super nervous. It all hinges on how they interpret “arrest of descent”. I’m seriously betting I’m going to end up with a RCS though

mdfarmchick

@senora76 I’ve been thinking of you. I was due at the end of the month with my first and it’s so hard when everyone is further along than you. Hopefully you can get some relief from the itching. I didn’t have cholestasis with my first but the last three weeks of pregnancy I itched awfully and nothing prescribed or OTC or suggested helped.
also, @BrittnieMariee is right... Nova still has time to turn. Sending all the good vibes your way that she does.

ashtuesday

How many weeks are you? 35 + 1

Any appointments this week? Next week is a doozy of appointments: on Tuesday, my husband and I are interviewing a pediatrician.  On Thursday, I've got my next regular ob appointment.  And on Friday, our last ultrasound to check her positioning!

How are you doing? Dear diary posts are encouraged! After a few weeks of high anxiety, this one hasn't been so bad.  I'm so happy that it's February and I can finally say she'll be here next month - seeing the number of days shrink to an actually tangibly small figure it also pretty nice.  Physically, it's been a tougher week: I made the bad choice of taking some students on a field trip on Monday, and all of the walking and stairs left me HURTING.  Luckily, that's subsided.  I'm getting so big I feel unrecognizeable to myself, but it is what it is: first I'm going to worry about getting baby here, then about shedding some pounds!

@chasingroygbiv How did your ultrasound go?

BrittnieMariee

I just got home from L&D. I freaked out earlier because I realized at about 4:30 that I hadn’t felt Emma move at all today. I called my OB and he told me to go in for monitoring. DH stayed home with DS and my mom took me to the hospital. As soon as we got on the monitor Emma suddenly went crazy *insert eye roll* but I also started having more contractions. They were pretty regular and getting stronger so the doctor decided to check my cervix. I’m dilated to 1-2 cm and 20% effaced. And of course since she checked me I’ve been having way worse contractions. We discussed my TOLAC vs RCS options at this point and they discharged me with instructions to come back if the contractions get stronger and closer together or if my water breaks. I just hope she decides to wait a little longer since she would be considered preterm still and the idea of something possibly being wrong scares the crap out of me. 

mdfarmchick

@BrittnieMariee wow. Eventful evening. 1-2 cm dialated can definitely last for a while. Hopefully everything calms down and your body is just doing a little labor prep early. 

@ashtuesday I love that the numbers are shrinking and we are all getting closer.

BrittnieMariee

@mdfarmchick I’m hoping to stay where we are for at least another week. It’s almost 4am right now and I’ve been waking up on and off all night because of more contractions. The doctor that checked me was NOT gentle about it and it took her soooo long to do it! I was in so much pain. So far the contractions are staying 8-10 minutes apart  

mdfarmchick

@BrittnieMariee fingers crossed that this is just prodromal labor. I had it with my first and am having it this time around too. Also, that’s so crappy about your cervical check.

ashtuesday

@BrittnieMariee - Thinking of you and hoping you're feeling good and Emma gets some more time to cook!

BrittnieMariee

@mdfarmchick I think it is prodromal labor so far. Which is just really annoying. It IS making a tiny bit of progress. I spent the last 24 hours dealing with stronger contractions on & off. With my son it was always BH that never did anything helpful to my cervix.
That Doctor was down there for way too long though omg. She was so rough and kept moving around too much. It *almost* felt like a sweep.

@ashtuesday thank you! I just want her to stay put until at least Thursday! That’s when I’ll be 37 weeks and she would be considered “early term” instead of “preterm”. I’m just exhausted at this point lol

senora76

@BrittnieMariee I wouldnt doubt she did do a sweep without ur consent... I had a lot of issues with my second son’s birth and I had cholestasis with an induction date of 37 weeks and at a drs appt at 34w5d she saw I was 3cm dialated and did a sweep without asking me first... it all happened so fast-I went into the hospital the next day at 6cm and they had to then hold me off for hours because I was strep b pos and he was born at 35 weeks exactly and yes, wasnt fully cooked yet so had to stay behind... whyyy would she do that so early? i dont know why i didnt stand up for myself back then!!!  I always wonder if i would have gone that week anyway without her agressiveness!!!

BrittnieMariee

@senora76 omg that’s awful! I would be so mad! I’m glad I’m at least past the 36 week mark, but it hurt so bad! It felt like she was wiggling her finger around?? Idk I was trying not to scream omg. I’m hoping maybe that’s just how she checks because I did not consent to a sweep!

senora76

@BrittnieMariee my mind is foggy from 2006 but she said something like “i sweeped you so hopefully you wont need that induction” after it was said and done... wtf!?  hope you have another few days of stability before its game on!

After refusing to bring anything baby in the house, my depression and anxiety have been out of control so I spent the weekend nesting like crazy... went through all of Mars’ things, picking out the things Nova will wear and use.. It was painstaking at times because it all was sealed up the week we lost him and it still smelled like him... DH and I had to go through this process and now that we have Novas things in the house all ready for her, its helping my headspace tremendously... its a lot easier to have faith there will be a baby home with us now.

Drs appt this morning- need him to sign paperwork so I can put in my exit date with work today... hoping shes flipped but not holding my breath... 

mdfarmchick

@senora76 oh I’m so glad you felt up to doing all of that! What a great weekend... even though it was hard I love that you have some faith now.

BrittnieMariee

@senora76 I’m so glad you have some faith! Hope is such an amazing thing to have! Pretty soon we’ll all be bringing our babes home!

chasingroygbiv

Is this the most recent PGAL post or did I miss one? Checking in on everyone! 

mdfarmchick

@chasingroygbiv good idea. I miss everyone too. How’s @senora76

chasingroygbiv

I’m wondering as well @mdfarmchick

ashtuesday

@chasingroygbiv @mdfarmchick - Agreed!  And good idea to check in!

mdfarmchick

@ashtuesday how are you doing?

We are doing well. Sam was a month old last Saturday... where has the time gone?! It’s so good to be able to hold him in my arms. He’s been growing like crazy and I think he is a better breastfeeder than my first, which is nice. My PPA has been almost non existent this time. That’s been really nice. I was so worried about how DS1 would do with a little brother but honestly, he’s been really great. I know that it will be a big adjustment when MH goes back to work next week and I’m kind of bummed that he has too. But we have been so fortunate to have him home as long as he’s been here. My biggest struggle is getting on a schedule, especially with DS1. 

senora76

Hey party people! We lost our group when everyone had their babies but me LOL- I felt silly restarting the week all by my lonesome so I just read each of your birth announcements and waited for my turn! My water broke on Wednesday around 5pm and we got to the hospital by 6 - Nova was born at 6:47pm before they even checked my insurance card haha.  impatient and small like her mama! We are waiting to be released today... only thing we are waiting on is genetics... as we are testing her for the cardiac channelopathy Mars had...  Emotionally it has been very loaded... My husband has been very nostalgic and weepy while I am still in shock... Longest pregnancy ever followed by a super fast labor and I spent my whole pregnancy grieving Mars so I’ve sat here stunned like what the heck just happened!?! 

Let’s keep our group rolling again!!! Love hearing how everyone is doing ❤️

ashtuesday

@senora76 SO happy to see that Nova is here - I'm glad she didn't make you wait til the very end of March (or through a marathon labor - less than two hours, sign me up!).  She is gorgeous.  Will there be a long wait for the results of her genetic testing?  Fingers crossed that all testing turns out perfect and that the positive emotions outweigh the bad.

@mdfarmchick I'm so glad to hear that your PPA isn't so bad and that all is going well!  It had to be wonderful having your husband home all this time - but you will still rock it when he goes back to work. 

All is well here.  Nora is excessively sweet and pretty dang easy (knock on wood) - she's 5 weeks now and just about the size of an average full-term baby, but she looks like a giant to me!  I had worried a lot about what my anxiety level would be like once she was born, but I actually feel calmer than I have in a LONG time.  My whole life has really revolved around my desire to be a mother, and our losses called that very fabric of my being into question.  But now that she's here, I feel so sure of things.  I feel validated in the drive I've always felt towards motherhood, and I feel like the rest of the world can finally see something I've always known about myself.  I feel secure in the knowledge that I've always been her mother and I'll always be her mother.  I guess it sounds hippie-dippie in writing, but it is a good feeling.

How's everyone else doing?  @chasingroygbiv?  @BrittnieMariee?

mdfarmchick

@senora76 congratulations! Oh I am so ridiculously happy for you guys! I hope everything comes back positive with the genetic testing. And I agree with keeping our little group going. 

@ashtuesday I think everything you said was absolutely beautiful. I’m glad Nora is doing well and that you are feeling so much better mentally. Hugs. 

BrittnieMariee

I’m so glad we all have our little Rainbows now!! Emma is so wonderful and from the second I heard her I felt so much better. All through labor and my cesarean I had so much anxiety about something going wrong and losing her right at the end of it all. So once I finally heard her beautiful cry I just started sobbing with relief. She’s been much easier than my son was at this age, not that he was even very difficult lol she’ll be 5 weeks old tomorrow and I can hardly believe it. DS has been so sweet with her. We’re all still adjusting and I feel like it’s been the biggest change for him. He’s been acting out a bit in an attempt to get my attention. He’s a mama’s boy so he’s really had trouble with sharing me. 

senora76

@mdfarmchick @ashtuesday thanks ladies been a long time coming! I was so afraid to prepare for Nova we didnt even have diapers when we got home
yesterday which was a bit overwhelming, however in my own bed up with her last night all was right with the world.

Glad everything is going well with u ladies and everyones older kids are adjusting. Speaking of which im exhausted and falling asleep meanwhile my teenager isnt due home til midnight... luckily my husband is waiting up for him... 

Happy weekend everyone

mdfarmchick

@senora76 oh good you are home! Does that mean everything was fine with the genetic testing?? Get all the sleep you can. I’m still trying to maximize sleep.

senora76

@mdfarmchick we are home and they drew the blood but they have to send it to Baylor in TX and results will take 2+ weeks... we tried using the owlet but thw sock falls off because she is so petite (5-3 as of yesterday) we ordered the new style sock tonsee if that will work.. we have watched infant cpr on youtube and will all take a formal class when my mil and sil get here from spain a week from monday (insert panic face here lol).  thats about all we can control at the moment!!! Myhusband is hahing crazy amxiety attacks in his sleep because of this- he jets up out of bed several times- we wont ever not worry about her but i have to believe she does not have this varient in her dna... have to keep thinking it...

How long did u girls bleed for? It’s getting old already for me haha- I know I bled for several weeks with my other kids...

Anyone know where to find a middle snap opening nursing bra preferably in black?  they used to make an awesome onenby fancee free back when I had my older sons, but I’ve researched and they doscontinued it in 2009... not a thing similar... I ordered the only one i could find on amazon that is snap front insteadnof pull down and its great but id love to find another one... dont know why they are so rare- so much easier for me!!!  also i am a “34 enormous” making it hard to find my size :-/

mdfarmchick

@senora76 I bleed heavy for a week and then much less for the next two with some breakthrough bleeding if I overdid it that day. So three weeks total. Sorry I can’t help with the nursing bra that meets those specifics but I do love everything Kindred Bravely. 
Hopefully the test results give you some peace of mind. 

senora76

@mdfarmchick thanks!!!  i got a kindred bravely nursing nightie and i love it- comfy and feels like lingerie not all mommed out- lived in it at the hospital

chasingroygbiv

I’m so, so glad your rainbows are here, ladies. The birth of a baby is such an incredible time, the birth of a rainbow baby gives me all the feels (especially knowing what it feels like now myself). 

@senora76 Positive vibes your way for great genetic testing results! Please update us when you hear. Also on the bleeding, mine was pretty much nothing by about the 3 week mark (after randomly passing 2 good size clots). I’ll still have occasional spotting, but not much, I am able to get by easily with liners instead of full on pads (she’s a month now). 

I am doing well! Sleep deprived, DD is struggling to adjust, but I am just so happy, even as exhausted and overwhelmed as I am. She is such a sweet and calm baby aside from when she’s hungry or cold, then she’s an angry little girl! Nursing is going well except for the dreaded clogged ducts. Sleep is... mostly nonexistent for me, but pretty good for her. She eats, sleeps, eats, sleeps all night. Ha! It’s so worth it, though! 

senora76

Hi ladies...just wanted to pop on and say - i am loving the nightime feeds...sooo much to be grateful for ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️