I feel like I saw a thread about this but not sure. When did/will everyone tell their employers? I work for a law firm, mainly under one attorney. I told everyone today at 14-2. The big boss man was super excited but the attorney I work under took my coworker to the side and told her that "the secrecy wasn't really necessary and I should have told him sooner".... am I being silly or is he out of line to think he's entitled to my personal information? I told him in our meeting I was waiting until I was ready to spread the news. I didn't think it was late at all, or that I really even HAVE to tell him. Super annoyed right now.
@mamamecha Seriously, 26 weeks was not enough notice for them? I didn’t tell work until 13 weeks and only told that early because I was showing. I think you did the right thing. It is common in business to not say anything until after the miscarriage rate goes way down after 12 weeks. As far as I am concerned, it is your personal business and up to you if you want to share it that early. Check your HR policy and see what the requirements are for notifying your supervisor of a long leave. Maternity is usually lumped in with any type of leave under FMLA. I believe my company requires two months notice unless it is an emergency leave. I can imagine they would ask for 6 or more months of notice.
@mamamecha He was out of line, especially the fact that he told that to a coworker. Not only is he giving his opinion when HE thinks you should share YOUR information but talking about you behind your back. That doesn't seem very mature. Being pregnant is your news to share when you're ready to share it, don't let anymore make you feel guilty. Of course you can't wait until the last minute, but you didn't and they shouldn't have anything to complain about. I think people like to complain sometimes honestly, no one is ever happy.
@mamamecha I told my boss at 13+5. He congratulated me and another older/superior co-worker (who also just had a baby) said you have plenty of time. I think she was actually surprised I gave this much notice. So that is just that man's opinion. Don't think you were wrong in waiting. Also, the fact that he said that to your co-worker and not to you is incredibly unprofessional. He is in the wrong.
@chaser61@gspmom21 Thanks for the backup! Honestly the firm is really lax and good about time off, family stuff, appointments and all that. My coworker brings her kids in all the time if there are issues with daycare and whatnot, or she takes half days. It just feels like he was just upset about being in the dark and not being the first to know. It was just so immature and bothersome- especially because I told him today that I told him as soon as I was ready, and probably would have been sooner but he's spent about 5 days total in the office in the past month so I haven't had much opportunity. We had a lunch meeting in our main office today so I told them all then. I thought it was best but you can't win them all! The man who actually signs my paycheck was thrilled.
@mamamecha I think you did everything the right way and I'm glad your (boss?) is happy for you! I've found that some people do get offended when they're not the firsts to know and sometimes it's weirdly people you're not even that close to! (though I know you mentioned you're close with him). Don't let it worry you! This is a happy time
@mamamecha like the other ladies said he was definitely out of line. When you decide to tell people is your choice and doesn’t really warrant questioning from others. It’s not about “secrecy” it’s about your comfort level with letting others know and you did nothing wrong.
I was lurking in the Sept board and saw that some Toys r us are closing. Didn’t read much to see about babies r us but worth keeping an eye out for deals. I guess they filed bankruptcy.
I’m currently at jury duty. I don’t even mind it as much as some people but it’s annoying that I didn’t have to report until 1. I better get called back at 8:30am tomorrow then quickly released so I can sleep in then relax. That will make it worth it.
One of our patients at work today surprised us with a platter from the local bagel shop. It was SO awesome! I snagged a bagel (my lunch), a muffin and a cookie. Score!
I didn’t want to tell work until 12/13w but ended up having to tell my boss at 8w weeks I was so sick all the time and kept working from home and didn’t want him to think something was seriously wrong. Worked out fine but was definitely sooner than I wanted to say anything
Just finished reading A Man Called Ove and I'm bawling my eyes out. Such a good book. Anyone else read it?
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
I'm done with my meeting in Santa Barbara and I'm currently enjoying a delicious iced chai latte with the second half of my caprese sandwich. I have more work to do but instead I'm taking a break. Tired from waking up early today and from walking around town once I arrived here. Already excited about dinner with my college friend! Food is life.
@wildtotI got called back for tomorrow at 9, yay to sleeping in! I'm usually at the office by 7am so this is a big difference. I feel bad, I love my job and I am dedicated but pregnancy is making me so lazy.
DS hit and kick a kid today. They are both younger than 2 and i understand it’s gonna happen at this age and are teaching him to be nice and not hit. DH is freaking out that the other parents are going to be mad. IMO i think it would be ridiculous if they got mad. They are still babies!
I've never read a smut book before. Two of the other daycare moms were reading a certain book and I zoom3d through the first four in the series over the weekend. They were steamy.
@mamamecha, totally out of line. Does he have kids? I feel like sometimes people who don’t have kids or haven’t experienced a pregnancy of a close friend/family member don’t fully understand how the weeks work and how risky the first trimester can be. I mean we only find out ourselves at about 5 weeks at the earliest. Then it’s usually another couple of weeks before you go to the doctor. Either way totally inappropriate though. Sorry you had to deal with that.
@wildtot I hate it when the hitting and kicking happens, I worry too! I also think it would be dumb if they were mad it's just the age!
@TheQuietThings sometimes sexy books are good to get lost in. I've never read a true smut book either but used to buy my mom and grandma the ones with the raunchiest covers I could find every year, lol.
I know this is more symptoms related but the migraine med struggle is real! I can't take my meds if I have to drive and I had to drive a lot today flash forward to 6pm vomiting in my car on my back from my break between clients, almost throwing up during my final session and then throwing up after all with this awful headache that went from very dull to bad bad bad over the course od the day. So im finally home took the precious meds and am hopefully having a long uninterupted bath with my last lush bomb ive been saving.
also weird I want all the food right now while also be totally repulsed at the thought of eating... this is a weird place to be.
@DynamiteTrujillo good luck! @devilcat139 I planned to tell him after our 12 week appointment but he was vacationing in Italy then came back for 1 day before he was out sick for a few days. @tarheelgirl8 He has 5 kids!
@wildtot I read that too. I read that basically they're revamping and cutting down on inventory for Toys R Us so they definitely might have a ton of sales to get rid of all that they have now! Also that they're focusing on online registries for Babies R Us because that's where most of their money comes from.
@wildtot yes they are closing stores! The local babies r us is closing and sales are starting in Feb!! I am excited because we need new car seats (to fit 3 across) and I hope to get good deals. I also need a few things for baby girl after getting rid of everything last summer.
So, sitting here in my Mazda in the cold waiting for my husband to come get me. Right after I left home for work this morning my power steering malfunctioned and I can barely steer the car to turn. I love this car...it's super fast. Hopefully the repair isn't too costly and we can get the car back quickly.
Aaaaand...I am dumb and forgot I have both keys for our other car! Husband is now going to ask to borrow our neighbors/daycare lady's car to get me, go back home to get our other car, and then come back for the mazda and carefully drive it a half mile down the road, and then I drop him off at home (luckily he's wfh today) and THEN I can go to work. Haha good morning!!
Oh no, @lindsayleigh1989! I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope they get better, or you can adjust your schedule so you can take your meds. I can't imagine how terrible that must be.
@flockofmoosen3 I hate it when stuff like that happens. No matter when the car breaks it’s always an inconvenience. Thank goodness your h is WFH! Hope your car is an easy fix!
@wildtot I think parents get mad when you allow your kid to hit other kids and don’t do anything redirect them. It seems like your trying to correct him when he is hitting so it shouldn’t be a problem.
@lindsayleigh1989 oh no! That sounds so horrible. I’m so sorry it was a rough day yesterday. Hopefully you’ve recovered some! Random suggestion- have you ever thought about getting your daith pierced? My friend got hers done to help with migraines and it’s seriously helped her a lot!
@TheQuietThings I was originally on fioricet but it didnt do anything now im on a combination on benadryl and prochlorperazine together they make a migraine med
Taking a personal day, the stressful/lack of sleep week has caught up to me and i broke down all last night. I was literally up all night with DS and probably got not more than 30 mins in between wakes. H was no help and we even got into an argument. So i feel like crap today. I just can’t be around people because i feel like I’ll break down again.
@wildtot feel better! @lindsayleigh1989 what a struggle, migraines are no joke. I have a friend who suffers from them and it is so debilitating. @TheQuietThings victory! @flockofmoosen3 I'm always terrified of car issues, glad it was fixed!
I slept on my friend's couch so not feeling super refreshed but I'm going to take a nap on the train. Annoyed I didn't plan for any food, and I'll have to get something small on the train, I hope it's not gross because the babe is hungry already.
I need to vent about my friend really quick. She and her boyfriend have lived together for years and right before he was planning on proposing they went on a “break” (requested by him) and she moved back in with her parents a few months ago. He’s got a bunch of issues with communication and other things he needs to work on but isn’t doing much to fix anything. That alone has me iffy about the whole relationship for her, but she loves him and wants to be with him forever. They still talk and consider themselves to be together even though she moved out. Now, curveball... Come to find out he likes to wear her clothes and I’ll keep it pg but he likes to watch transsexual ‘activities’ online.. And she found a wig he bought when she left, hidden under the bed. I think he’s closeted or confused and he’s stringing her along. I don’t know, but he won’t talk to her about any of it. I’m worried she’ll get hurt but there’s nothing I can do about it but just be there for her. It’s. So. Frustrating. And now she wants to buy a spy camera for their apartment so she can know for sure and decide whether or not she’s okay with it. I say if you have to spy on your SO maybe you shouldn’t be with them. Just saying.
Can I just vent about my boss for a second? All of a sudden she wants us to go back to all the testing we did during the last 3 months and explain in the worksheets why we didn't test something. Half of these things she arbitrarily decided we didn't need to test and we have no idea why and she doesn't remember why. We have to figure it out. Our Director is so annoyed that we have to go back to do this as well because she has to review it all.
I would like to concentrate on this year please. I don't need to go back to do this busy work. GAHHHH.
@acunamatada things just got real in the randoms thread! She needs to hit the ground running imo if he will not open up to her about it. Nothing you find on a camera is going to make that easier to deal with. I am not an expert on relationships by any means, but if this guy isn't comfortable talking to his long time gf about it, then he is either in denial or hiding something.
@wildtot last night I turned the knob on my 2 year old's room to lock from the outside. I left it unlocked so she could get me after she woke up so I could take her to pee. I put her in bed and stayed next to her for a bit. One time she fell right back to sleep. The other time I did the routine where I come back 3 times to comfort, then locked up behind me. She cried at the door for a long time but eventually gave up and fell asleep. After that I unlocked it and went back to sleep in my bed. I am hoping this will be the answer for us. It's definately the most well rested I have been in weeks. It's probably the same for my kid.
@cseley321 that’s what I’m saying! What difference is camera footage going to make? And how is she supposed to confront him about anything she finds without outing herself for spying? Not a well thought plan, and she won’t leave him.
Oh and my darling child who has been potty trained (for #1 at least) for the better part of a month, climbed onto our pantry counter this morning butt naked. And peed. All over. With a bagel in his mouth.
the fact that he was going to propose and is unwilling to talk to her about a major part of his life (whether it be his sexuality/gender identity or anything else majorly important in his life) is a huge red flag. Even if she decided she was ok with whatever he is feeling, she shouldn't be ok with the fact that he won't talk to her. She also needs to be aware of the fact that some people keep a heterosexual relationship to hide what's really going on from their family/friends/etc. and she needs to make sure she isn't being used for that purpose.
Definitely the one of the most interesting randoms we've had. thanks for sharing @acunamatada!
Re: Weekday Randoms Part 2- 1/24-1/25
@mamamecha He was out of line, especially the fact that he told that to a coworker. Not only is he giving his opinion when HE thinks you should share YOUR information but talking about you behind your back. That doesn't seem very mature. Being pregnant is your news to share when you're ready to share it, don't let anymore make you feel guilty. Of course you can't wait until the last minute, but you didn't and they shouldn't have anything to complain about. I think people like to complain sometimes honestly, no one is ever happy.
Edited to fix spelling error.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@DynamiteTrujillo sounds delicious!
@kissableviv that sounds fabulous other than being tired, I love Santa Barbara.
Edit it for spelling
Son-10.5
Son-4
Daughter-2
#4- EDD July 14
Son-10.5
Son-4
Daughter-2
#4- EDD July 14
@TheQuietThings sometimes sexy books are good to get lost in. I've never read a true smut book either but used to buy my mom and grandma the ones with the raunchiest covers I could find every year, lol.
I know this is more symptoms related but the migraine med struggle is real! I can't take my meds if I have to drive and I had to drive a lot today flash forward to 6pm vomiting in my car on my back from my break between clients, almost throwing up during my final session and then throwing up after all with this awful headache that went from very dull to bad bad bad over the course od the day. So im finally home took the precious meds and am hopefully having a long uninterupted bath with my last lush bomb ive been saving.
also weird I want all the food right now while also be totally repulsed at the thought of eating... this is a weird place to be.
sorry for word vomit
@devilcat139 I planned to tell him after our 12 week appointment but he was vacationing in Italy then came back for 1 day before he was out sick for a few days.
@tarheelgirl8 He has 5 kids!
@wildtot I read that too. I read that basically they're revamping and cutting down on inventory for Toys R Us so they definitely might have a ton of sales to get rid of all that they have now! Also that they're focusing on online registries for Babies R Us because that's where most of their money comes from.
I mean :::::fans self::::::
Son-10.5
Son-4
Daughter-2
#4- EDD July 14
Not a single child came into our bed MOTN!
Son-10.5
Son-4
Daughter-2
#4- EDD July 14
So, sitting here in my Mazda in the cold waiting for my husband to come get me. Right after I left home for work this morning my power steering malfunctioned and I can barely steer the car to turn. I love this car...it's super fast. Hopefully the repair isn't too costly and we can get the car back quickly.
Aaaaand...I am dumb and forgot I have both keys for our other car! Husband is now going to ask to borrow our neighbors/daycare lady's car to get me, go back home to get our other car, and then come back for the mazda and carefully drive it a half mile down the road, and then I drop him off at home (luckily he's wfh today) and THEN I can go to work. Haha good morning!!
@wildtot I think parents get mad when you allow your kid to hit other kids and don’t do anything redirect them. It seems like your trying to correct him when he is hitting so it shouldn’t be a problem.
@lindsayleigh1989 oh no! That sounds so horrible. I’m so sorry it was a rough day yesterday. Hopefully you’ve recovered some! Random suggestion- have you ever thought about getting your daith pierced? My friend got hers done to help with migraines and it’s seriously helped her a lot!
@TheQuietThings victory!
@flockofmoosen3 I'm always terrified of car issues, glad it was fixed!
I slept on my friend's couch so not feeling super refreshed but I'm going to take a nap on the train. Annoyed I didn't plan for any food, and I'll have to get something small on the train, I hope it's not gross because the babe is hungry already.
I need to vent about my friend really quick. She and her boyfriend have lived together for years and right before he was planning on proposing they went on a “break” (requested by him) and she moved back in with her parents a few months ago. He’s got a bunch of issues with communication and other things he needs to work on but isn’t doing much to fix anything. That alone has me iffy about the whole relationship for her, but she loves him and wants to be with him forever. They still talk and consider themselves to be together even though she moved out.
Now, curveball...
Come to find out he likes to wear her clothes and I’ll keep it pg but he likes to watch transsexual ‘activities’ online.. And she found a wig he bought when she left, hidden under the bed. I think he’s closeted or confused and he’s stringing her along. I don’t know, but he won’t talk to her about any of it. I’m worried she’ll get hurt but there’s nothing I can do about it but just be there for her. It’s. So. Frustrating.
And now she wants to buy a spy camera for their apartment so she can know for sure and decide whether or not she’s okay with it. I say if you have to spy on your SO maybe you shouldn’t be with them. Just saying.
I would like to concentrate on this year please. I don't need to go back to do this busy work. GAHHHH.
@wildtot last night I turned the knob on my 2 year old's room to lock from the outside. I left it unlocked so she could get me after she woke up so I could take her to pee. I put her in bed and stayed next to her for a bit. One time she fell right back to sleep. The other time I did the routine where I come back 3 times to comfort, then locked up behind me. She cried at the door for a long time but eventually gave up and fell asleep. After that I unlocked it and went back to sleep in my bed. I am hoping this will be the answer for us. It's definately the most well rested I have been in weeks. It's probably the same for my kid.
She also needs to be aware of the fact that some people keep a heterosexual relationship to hide what's really going on from their family/friends/etc. and she needs to make sure she isn't being used for that purpose.
Definitely the one of the most interesting randoms we've had. thanks for sharing @acunamatada!