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luna8433

With My 1st we didn't set a schedule for wake up times and bed time and naps. I feel this is the reason he has a hard time sleeping. So with #2 I want to make sure we are on a schedule. My question is how soon after you came home do you feel you need them on a schedule?

I am afraid that for the first week or two I am not going to want to wake up.

whatabout2ndbreakfast

Hmmm @luna8433 good question! I think after 2 months he sort of fell into his own schedule. I went back to work at 10 weeks and then he was forced onto a schedule and that ended up working really well. DS has always been a good sleeper but a bad napper.

angiek1

@luna8433 - We started to try to get into a routine starting at week 8 knowing we'd fail a lot. Around that time I started to get up with DD#1 to try to figure out the balance and understand the game plan. Essentially it was to train H and I when we'd need to get up and our lives pulled together in order to wake up, shower, get dressed, feed baby, get other two ready, and out the door w/o being woefully late. It also helped me understand when I'd need to do a last night feeding in order to get DD#2 to sleep so I wasn't doing a 4 am feeding only to get an hour more of sleep before the rooster crowed for the day. 
Just writing the above makes me groan, probably one of the hardest parts with a new baby is figuring out the new norm. I'm sure we will all be hanging on by a thread during the transition time. 

angiek1

Anyone else feel pain in their pelvic region when they do any type of movement? Google told me it is a sign of my pelvic muscles relaxing. Is anyone else experiencing this? Any other tips on how to help minimize the pain other than increasing Kegel exercises? I feel like 29 weeks (tomorrow) is too early to be feeling so uncomfortable. 

ngolimento

@angiek1 my pelvis has had pains on and off for about a month.  29 weeks isn't too early at all, because you are in the window of time when relaxin surges.  I would tell you that it stops and gets easier, but I would be lying .  Your hips won't feel right until about a year after your baby is born.

ekendall09

@angiek1 my doctor pointed out that its totally common for those kind of symptoms to be popping up now.  (which does stink because there's a ways to go!)  I specifically asked about my ribs and she said its especially common to happen sooner in subsequent pregnancies.

mispanda

@luna8433 honestly I really can't remember when the schedule came into play but I know it might of been around 4-6 months.  We started by trying to do bedtime at the same time every night.  Which then had her waking up the same time every morning which in turn allowed a specific time for naps.   So our schedule slowly came about.

@angiek1 I've had some hip/pelvic pain for a couple weeks.  My doctor is fully aware and says it is not too early for these pains.   Like @ngolimento your relaxin hormone is just working.  I try to remember not to cross my legs while sitting and that will sometimes help with the discomfort.  Or if I'm having a bad day I'll take a Tylenol.  

lindsye

@luna8433 I would write down nap times every day after age two months or so and wait until you see some sort of pattern emerge - that way you go off their cues to see when they might be ready a schedule. In the very early days, I think their sleep needs change so much depending on growth spurts/etc that a schedule just isn’t a good fit. By about 4 months (if I remember correctly) mine have been ready for some sort of schedule.

By around 6 months, I think the 2-3-4 nap schedule is basically a magic formula (my 19 month old son is actually still on it). https://alphamom.com/parenting/baby/the-2-3-4-sleep-routine/

frenchiekinplusone

You guys. I totally just called my doc because I thought part of my mucous plug came out (#FTM). I won’t get too detailed but it was definitely not the normal stuff. She said not to worry unless I have other early labor symptoms (I don’t). I know it can regenerate but I didn’t think I’d be losing anything this soon (29+4). I have an actual appt on Thursday so if she feels she needs to physically check stuff out then great, but I’m gonna go with NBD in the meantime. STMs, any previous experience? 

whatabout2ndbreakfast

@frenchiekinplusone Also gross, but end of 2nd tri/3rd tri I notice an increase in discharge. As long as there's no blood I wouldn't be too worried!

Question - Anyone who tore down there the first time have pain where their scar is? 

ekendall09

@peppersmith22 I did for quite some time after (I'm still not actually sure if mine was a tear/episiotomy or both...I know i know I should have asked but at that point eh who cares).  It did eventually go away but it took a long time.  I also have 5 years between my pregnancies.

whatabout2ndbreakfast

@ekendall09 Mine ached for a long time too and now I don't know if it's the pressure or what but I can feel it again and it's unpleasant! Crossing my fingers for no tears this time!

hedgepig

@angiek1 Definitely some pelvic pain here too, but nothing bad enough/sustained enough to need pain relief.

Puddlewonderful

@peppersmith22 TMI but because you asked...I’ve noticed since being more pregnant I can feel my episiotomy when I poop. It’s not painful but just pressure. 

fancybelmont

@luna8433  I was never really strict with a schedule with either kid.  What I did do was try to stick to routines.  When they are in the first few months I just stuck with the routine of "sleep, eat, play."  It tended to be 3 hour cycles but not always.  In the beginning, there wasn't a lot of "play" and just more nursing.  Eventually they just sorta make their own routine, starting with 3 naps per day, and slowly tapering down to 1 per day around 12 to 18 months.  

Everyone is different so this might not work for everyone but it did for me.  My first baby was incredibly difficult with colic and reflux and I found having routines helpful for my sanity.  We started bedtime routines really early too.  

This baby is probably going to have to nap on the go a lot because I have older kids now who have a lot of activities, but I'm going to try to stick to this routine as much as I can.

sjn00

frenchiekinplusone said:m

You guys. I totally just called my doc because I thought part of my mucous plug came out (#FTM). I won’t get too detailed but it was definitely not the normal stuff. She said not to worry unless I have other early labor symptoms (I don’t). I know it can regenerate but I didn’t think I’d be losing anything this soon (29+4). I have an actual appt on Thursday so if she feels she needs to physically check stuff out then great, but I’m gonna go with NBD in the meantime. STMs, any previous experience? 

Don't worry the mucus plug can fall out 100 times over, it will just reform again lol. As long as no intense cramping happens you're not in labor!

luna8433

Thanks ladies for the advice. With My first I went back at 6 weeks so I missed all the daily things, this time I will be home for almost 5 months . My husband stayed home at the time and the schedule/routine was awful and I didn't realize it was that bad until 6-7 months. I just want to avoid that mistake. 

I think I will watch things around 2 months and see if we get a start around then. 

frenchiekinplusone

@sjn00 thank you!  Exactly what I needed to hear in order to officially stop thinking about it 

dirtyboots

@angiek1 my midwife said I could try tightly tying a scarf around my hips to help stabilize the pelvis. Obviously not something you could really do at work, but around the house you could try it. 

angiek1

@dirtyboots - interesting, I might have to do that at home! Ah - the final stretch... all the changes while not fun are getting me excited to think I'm on the downward tilt. 

rklinge0

@frenchiekinplusone maybe tmi but dtd can loosen the mucus plug and cause pieces to come out. The last few times dh and I have, I have had pieces dislodged. I freaked out the 1st time because my first pregnancy I didn't lose any of it until after 36 week. 

frenchiekinplusone

@rklinge0 interestingly enough, I think that’s what happened. We did the night before and I thought that might have something to do with it. It was.... uncomfortable (lol) so I’m guessing it was enough to dislodge it. On a related note I am so jealous of women who want/enjoy sex during pregnancy. My lady bits are still pretty much closed for business. *cries*

mispanda

@peppersmith22 I had an episiotomy (thank you sunnyside up baby).  It ached for an extended amount of time while I healed.  Right now the area is tender but I can tell there is also a lot of pressure down there.  I hope I don't need another one or tear but that's obviously out of my control.

stassischroeder

@angiek1 I've had pretty gnarly hip/pelvis pain since about 22 weeks, but I fractured my pelvis, sacrum, and pubic bone about 3 years ago, so I'm sure that's playing into it. What helps me a little is to make sure to take smaller walking strides and keeping my legs together as much as possible when moving. They also say that walking on uneven surfaces makes it worse, so minimizing that can help. My OB said that a pregnancy belt can help, but so far it hasn't done much for me other than make me feel like I have to pee even MORE often lol. 

Also, if you google exercises for SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) you'll find some stuff that can help. 

ETA, also make sure to sit down when putting pants and shoes on instead of trying to balance on one leg. 

whatabout2ndbreakfast

@mispanda I'm terrified I'll tear at the same spot!

ftm_ohio

@frenchiekinplusone SAME!  I keep sitting DH down to say "I love you, you are sexy, but I DON'T want to!" Doing my best to "take one for the team," so to speak, at least every couple weeks, but God it's not pleasant. Wish I was into it 

frenchiekinplusone

@ftm_ohio I’m with you! You are doing better than us though... this was the first time in a while and I feel awful and down about it, for both of us. DH is super understanding and it’s kind of just the running joke in our house right now but it’s frustrating me so bad! Not to mention positions are becoming very limited lately bc I’m getting more uncomfortable. I’m hoping if I can increase the frequency a little it’ll become a bit more enjoyable but man I miss my old body/psyche sometimes haha

ladythrice

+1 for annoying pelvic pain! I never had this with my other pregnancies. I'm pretty sure three pregnancies in quick succession has broken my body... 

icalynn

@ftm_ohio @frenchiekinplusone Your not alone I do feel guilty and keep telling him it has nothing to do with him but I have zero interest. Given the choice I choose extra sleep everytime. He was a little disappointed and keeps saying I thought pregnant women wanted to all the time.

frenchiekinplusone

icalynn said:

@ftm_ohio @frenchiekinplusone Your not alone I do feel guilty and keep telling him it has nothing to do with him but I have zero interest. Given the choice I choose extra sleep everytime. He was a little disappointed and keeps saying I thought pregnant women wanted to all the time.

Bolded: yeah, this misconception sucks. All the apps and articles online are all like “WHOA, get ready for that pregnant sex drive in 2nd tri!!!” and women like us are over here like WTF is wrong with me??? Just adds insult to injury. 

frenchiekinplusone

freakin double posts on the app

angiek1

@stassischroeder thanks for the tips! 

ngolimento

Add my name to the "ugh, sex" list.  I feel fat and disgusting,  and don't like being limited to just a couple of positions.  I do orgasm more quickly,  but it creeps me put when the baby starts kicking and squirming after.  Thanks for reminding me I am having sex right next to you, kid!

icalynn

I can't seem to force myself to mentally relax enough to enjoy myself.

sunshine27shy

yeah I am in the same boat zero I mean like zero interest. my poor husband I feel so bad but it hurts and it so uncomfortable. also pure exhaustion I thought that was supposed to change in the second tri. now I am onto the third tri. 

lindsye

Anybody else suffering from insomnia at this point? Last night I was up from 1ish to about 5:30, completely unable to fall back asleep. I have dealt with this toward the end of previous pregnancies and have usually just taken Benadryl and/or Unisom as needed to deal with it (which my doctor said was fine). Any other tips or tricks? I know this is fairly inevitable with a newborn but I really don’t want this poor quality sleep for the next 3ish months.

ekendall09

@lindsye I had it more in the first tri but it definitely sneaks up on me every once in a while still.  No suggestions just commiseration!

frenchiekinplusone

@lindsye same here - I’ve been waking up in the wee hours most nights and can’t fall back to sleep for a while. Thinking of trying the unisom! Haven’t found any remedies at this point so I’m also commiserating! 

ladythrice

@lindsye Nooooooooooo!!! That sucks! It's way too early for insomnia to rear its ugly head!!! Benadryl is my treatment when I get it. Unfortunately it doesn't keep me from waking up, but it does help me fall back asleep much more quickly. My OB also recommended it. With my last pregnancy I was taking it nightly for the last few weeks.

sjn00

@lindsye yep. Same here. It was okay with my first cuz i could sleep whenever. But now having a kid, lack of sleep is so much more aparant. Or if I get woken up, i have a hard time falling back to sleep as well. Im getting about 4-5 hours of broken sleep right now and it is so hard! 

rmmorris

@lindsye yeah I cannot sleep through the night without half a unisom right now. I’m exhausted at bedtime but around 3am I’m wide awake. And then of course I start finally nodding off again right before my toddler wakes up.