I have PCOS, endo, amissing ovary, and other issues due to frequent exposures to heavy chemicals such as formaldehyde and phenol. For 3 years I've been having unprotected sex on a weekly basis, and for the past 3 months I've been specifically TTC (we were somewhat trying for the past 3 years, but recently started trying even harder and specifically labeling it TTC because my doctor said its going to be impossible soon - i hope that makes sense ), trying to have sex more during the fertile window, etc. This month my period was 3 weeks late, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive but VERY faintly. I took a second one 3 days later and again super faintly positive. I was so incredibly excited. The next morning I woke up to my period.
My best friend is 29 weeks pregnant right now, and got pregnant her first time having unprotected sex. I'm happy for her and love the baby already as if hes my own nephew. And I hate that I feel this way but...I'm so incredibly bitter. Every time I see her posting belly pictures, ultrasounds, etc I get so mad. I find myself specifically looking for faults in her to be mad at and thinking 'well SHE doesnt deserve a baby because xyz but I DO".
Does anyone else get these feelings or am i just a terrible person? How do you handle having a pregnant friend?