Let’s talk Facebook...

heatherdubrow

@bettyvonsomethingstein mentioned in the UO thread starting a Facebook group. Many we’re interested so here is a thread to discuss.
Those who discussed it have expressed an interest in a tight knit group of regular posters. People who have gotten to know each other over the last several months.
Interest?
Questions, comments, concerns?

bettyvonsomethingstein

My thinking is it would be nice to have it limited to people who have post somewhat regularly, no real hard and fast rules, but if there's any question, we can have more than one of us discuss.  There's always the option of the other FB group for those who aren't regulars but wish to join a group.

It would be a secret FB group, for added privacy, and I was kinda hoping prior to admission people who send a selfie with their bump, screenname, and today's date, for a little piece of mind.

ShawnnaO

I’m all aboard as long as it’s definitely the regular posters who we’ve all gotten to know!

heatherdubrow

I agree with both of you! What are your thoughts on being in both fb groups? I tend to think it’s one or the other...

bettyvonsomethingstein

I don't love the idea of people being in both because it seems a recipe for trouble, but I don't see how it could be enforced either except on an honor system.

mdfarmchick

@heatherdubrow @bettyvonsomethingstein I agree I’d prefer people not to be in both just from a drama standpoint but I don’t know how you enforce it either. I don’t have time for drama and I didn’t agree with how open the other group is. I think most of us still here feel that way to?

ShawnnaO

My only hesitation about it being one or the other is that I know some regulars have already been apart of the other FB group and I would really hate to exclude them, purely because I enjoy talking to them on here. Unless they left the old group and joined this new one exclusively? 

mdfarmchick

@bettyvonsomethingstein also I hate to be the one to point this out but... half the time I don’t know what the date is ((yeah, yeah I can check my phone just like when I check to see how pregnant I am))

heatherdubrow

I agree that it would have to be the honor system. I am aware of some who are in the other group but not others. I think it would be a recipe for drama to have people in both groups.

becausescience

ShawnnaO said:

I’m all aboard as long as it’s definitely the regular posters who we’ve all gotten to know!

I definitely agree about just regular posters. 

If there are questions about to who is regular and who isn't, how do we see that being settled?  Will there be a group of 5 (or some other odd #) admins who will decide or will it be put to a vote for current members?  

If people join the group and then don't participate - will they still be allowed to lurk?  Or will it be something like if you don't participate after x months without letting an admin know why - you get the boot?

Can we please make a rule where nobody can try to sell us anything?

@bettyvonsomethingsteinI like the idea of some sort of proof of pregnancy.  Could an u/s with name and a date work too or does that feel too easy to fudge?

mdfarmchick

@becausescience in my A15 group, one of us has volunteered to do a check in yearly-ish and we kick out people who didn’t participate on any threads for the last x amount of time, with the option for them to post and explain or not. 

Also, I agree with a vote to let people in... but I’m open to how we decide that; ie if it’s 5 regulars or just all of the regulars that are in without question if that makes sense?

heatherdubrow

@becausescience my feeling is that initially have a few mods determine who is in. Then beyond that the whole group can vote. Does that make sense?
and hell yes to no lurking and no sales.

heatherdubrow

@becausescience ygpm

Mass-girl-at-heart

I was late to the party but I'm here a lot now...can I sit with you guys on FB?

stlbuckeye132

I have nothing to contribute because I've never been a part of a fb group like this, but I just want to say AMEN TO NO SALES!

Also I want to join if I'm considered "regular"... still not sure bc I started actually posting and not just lurking a little later than others!

ShawnnaO

For the sake of full transparency, I’m not sure I would continue participating often after babies are born. I have a tendency to really compare myself to others and it gets toxic very quickly for my mental health. But I can assure you if I felt that I could no longer healthily participate in the group, I would remove myself. Or if for whatever reason I didn’t, and I just disappeared, I wouldn’t be offended at all if mods of the group removed me. I definitely love the idea of moving somewhere private so we can continue to bond over the next few months and, best case scenario, I even am able to stick around after babies are born. 

syssa-o

I mean I’d be interested in joining - but I am a part of the other Facebook group. I like communicating with everyone here and would enjoy doing so on a more user friendly platform but if being part of the other one disqualifies me, I get that too. So I’ll keep my eye open for whether that becomes a hard rule. 

npkat

Is there an issue just to have everyone join in with the other fb one? Avoids having 2 groups that people have to choose from.

becausescience

@npkat I'd prefer to only be in a group with people I "know" and have been talking to for months.  The other group is open to everybody who asked to be invited and I personally don't want to have my first and last name and picture available to complete strangers.

Cowboycorgi

Just hear to say ‘I’m game’ for a Facebook group. I think people have already covered everything I would be concerned with. I know I will be much more likely to stay active on FB than TB after baby comes. 

justkeeptrying

I think I'm "regular" enough to be considered for this Facebook group. Not going to lie, I'm still a little "stranger danger" leery about the idea. But I also know eventually I'll want to join a Facebook group rather than using the bump app. 

But I do question how it will be determined how regularly someone contributes and the cut off of that for "membership". I definitely agree I don't want a bunch of lurkers in the fb group. That creeps the crap out of me. And I am definitely on board with people being kicked out if they're not participating on at least a somewhat regular basis. 

chasingroygbiv

I am in full agreement to a Facebook group for active/current/regular posters only. If we start getting strangers or lurkers I would quickly bow out as I am a complete freak about stranger danger on the WWW. I am not entirely comfortable with participation in two different groups. I witnessed a huge blow up due to this very issue with my previous BMB. After said blow each group declared speaking no word of the other group, what happened in one group stayed there. That said, many members ended up just choosing one or the other because of the drama beforehand. I really think members should choose one or the other. If the ladies that previously started a group and are regular active members here still, want to close out that group entirely and join in on this one— cool? If they want to stay there, cool, but not both?.. And if they’re rarely here anymore anyway I doubt they’ll see this to make the jump. Not sure any of what I’ve said makes any sense, if not, ignore. It’s been a real heck of an evening with DD, poor girl smacked her face on the toilet paper holder and is going to have a nasty black eye tomorrow!

bb3vj3n

i think most things (ie no sales) that i would want as rules have been addressed. I'm in if you all will have me. 

just adding that i also would prefer not to join the original group. there were a ton off people that joined that group and I didn't know even half of them

ksmwalters

I'm also currently a part of the other FB group, but would be interested in joining the new one if you'd have me. I don't really enjoy TB app and am rarely in a position where I can get on the actual site (shared computer at work, so I'm only on my laptop at night) and FB is wayyyy easier to use. (Also idk if I'm "regular" enough to join in?  )

heatherdubrow

Ok, so @becausescience @bettyvonsomethingstein and I have created a tentative group. You can pm one of us with your email address and we can add you. Upon entering the group we ask that everyone post a picture of themselves with their bump screen name written out in the picture. We also would like to know if you are in the other group. For now we are thinking it would be best to hold off adding members of the other group. As we add more people new members will be voted on.

ShawnnaO

@heatherdubrow you mean like I would hope up a piece of paper saying “shawnnao” while taking the picture, right? 

heatherdubrow

ShawnnaO said:

@heatherdubrow you mean like I would hope up a piece of paper saying “shawnnao” while taking the picture, right? 

Yep! Just so we know everyone is ‘real’!

bettyvonsomethingstein

All those expressing interest, just send a PM to get the ball rolling, okay?

chasingroygbiv

I’m interested, but already laying in bed so won’t be able to take my selfie until tomorrow.  And send our email as in the one we use to sign into FB with, right? 

bb3vj3n

bettyvonsomethingstein said:

All those expressing interest, just send a PM to get the ball rolling, okay?

I just PM'd you.  I've never sent one before on TB so please let me know if i didnt do it properly

bettyvonsomethingstein

chasingroygbiv said:

I’m interested, but already laying in bed so won’t be able to take my selfie until tomorrow.  And send our email as in the one we use to sign into FB with, right? 

Yes! 

amylonghorn

Taking my selfie after I get out of bed and get going!! 

Thank you @bettyvonsomethingstein and @heatherdubrow for taking the lead as admins!!

npkat

Do we send you the email linked to our FB page or our regular email?

bettyvonsomethingstein

npkat said:

Do we send you the email linked to our FB page or our regular email?

Uh, I'm not sure actually.  Probably the one linked or your FB.  It'll send you an invite.

npkat

@bettyvonsomethingstein just sent you a PM

orbmaker

hi all! I'm not the most active member here (esp the past week or two... have been knitting!*), but I read daily and am curious about the fb group at this point. PM'd @bettyvonsomethingstein. If it's not my thing, I'll remove myself. Definitely very anti-selling-things (have unfriended family members before for this reason haha).

ETA: still plan to participate here. it's hard for me to imagine what the format will be on FB... and I like the more structured approach of this message board. Also would be game for private group on the bump.

*

bettyvonsomethingstein

Hey, y'all.  I'm just getting my little monkeys ready for the day, but I see the PMs and I'll get to them in an hour or so!

heatherdubrow

Feel free to pm me as well, I'm pretty free today!

stlbuckeye132

@heatherdubrow @bettyvonsomethingstein you both have PMs from me now because I'm obnoxious! thanks for setting this all up!

gh515

Thanks for organizing and initiating the discussion, @heatherdubrow @bettyvonsomethingstein . I think this has a lot of potential, and am happy to see such a rational, thoughtful process at the start.

Gingermom15

Do I participate enough here to be accepted? I suck at using TB because the app always crashes and drains my battery   
I’m better on FB, though. Promise!