Hopefully no one minds me starting this today... I just realized we hadn’t started it yet.
This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.
How far along are you? 27 + 5
Any appointments coming up? My next appointment is at the end of December and then I go to two week appointments.
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I’m doing okay. I have gotten very uncomfortable in the last week and that has definitely caused me to slow wayyy down. I’m concerned about pre-term labor at this point because well that’s the next thing to worry about?? I’ve been having BH more often, my lower back has been aching, I have had some low cramping and in general have just been uncomfortable. This is way earlier than with my first and Dr. Google is not my friend. Ha.
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in? Yoga, meditation, and distraction are some of my biggest coping mechanisms. I’ve started focusing on what I can do to prepare for March—and I’m looking for ways to be more comfortable. Baby kicks are also a great way to relieve anxiety. Ha. And checking in with my fellow loss moms on here. The timing this week of being uncomfortable was unfortunate because I also read meatball’s update on her blog ((twin loss mom in February 18)) and my heart is just broken for her and her family.
Oops!! My bad! Thanks for starting this @mdfarmchick. I completely forgot!
How far along are you? 24+2
Any appointments coming up? Had one yesterday and all is good!
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): I'm feeling very good lately and feeling more confident. Scrolled through my old Facebook posts because I had something pop up about our last pregnancy announcement. It was nice to sit and reflect for a few minutes on our angel babies. I miss them so much!
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in? Just deep breaths and reminding myself that today I am pregnant.
@mdfarmchick, I am so with you on the preterm labour fear! My Braxton hicks contractions have been intense the last couple of weeks and I definitely found myself googling preterm labour symptoms. Obviously all is well, but I did not expect to have these fears now!!
@justkeeptrying no worries—I forget what day of the week it is most of the time. Lol! Glad you had a good appointment. I completely forgot the “today I am pregnant” mantra. That’s a good one.
Any appointments coming up? makena on thursday and MFM on Monday
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) exhausted... Orlando messed with my jetlag recovery from Spain... Baby is now moving while pushing into my bladder.. I pee myself a lot. I found a varicose vein and my vag is very weird looking now... still so happy we are expecting this baby... I feel like I’m going to have this baby earlier than I had Mars (10 days) and I hope not as early as I had Vance (5 weeks) The Makena shots are great reassurance, but they itch so badly i have bruises on my butt! Really just so tired but I’m waiting up for my teenager instead of sleeping in my comfy bed with my husband who just got home tonite!!!!
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in? I have such severe anxiety and PTSD from Mars’ death day, my anxiety about this pregnancy is more of a defense mechinism, and contrary to my first three pregnancies when I just assumed getting a healthy baby was the finish line when it comes to worry... now I feel like its the starting line :-/ When I have anxiety about the pregnancy or anything really... airplane turbulence, etc.. I pray and I talk to Mars. ❤️
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I'm doing alright. Just recently found out about the owlet monitor to monitor baby's heart rate and oxygen levels, and my PGAL mind absolutely wants this. Though, now I'm trying to justify spending my FSA money on it.
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in? Mostly I try to get my little one to move with a little poking or orange juice. Thankfully I've been feeling him every day so generally I don't bother him too much, but when I do feel little punches/kicks in response to my pokes, I'm am so happy.
**TW in Spoiler**
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/683816 BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16 BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed. BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18 BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
@senora76 I love that praying and talking to Mars helps when you are anxious. Glad that YH is home and that you have some time to figure out what time zone you are in. The fires aren’t close to you, right?
@SoraLk do you know anyone that has one? I think the newest version is much better, but I know two years ago, the moms that had this or the Angelcare monitor said they had a lot of false alarms—which can be stressful too. GL on the glucose test.
@mdfarmchick Thank you! One of my sister's friends had the previous version, so I'm trying to get a hold of her to see what she says.
**TW in Spoiler**
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/683816 BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16 BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed. BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18 BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I’m good. Achey, sleepy, and lacking an appetite. Not sure if that’s because of the antibiotic I’m on, because my stomach is being squished, both? I’m a little crampy today which I certainly don’t like, I’m currently lying down hoping the feeling will go away. My anxiety with germs is in full force. It sounds like allllllll the miserable sicknesses are firing up.. ugh. I’m also really anxious knowing the flu shot wasn’t a good match this year. We will have very minimal visitors, if any, once baby comes because of this.
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in? I try to keep myself busy with something, usually cleaning or organizing. Otherwise I lay down and do kick counts. I do them every night at the same time as well as other times throughout the day, because I just do and panic if I don’t.
Any appointments coming up? My next ob appointment is the week before Christmas, and from there, I move on to every-two-week appointments.
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) This has been a good week! My energy has been much better this week than it has been previously, and I will never get enough of baby kicks. I was finally able to get a video of her kicking, where you can see my stomach moving, and it was so cool to share that with my family.
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in? Since she's been moving consistently, my anxiety has been surprisingly under wraps (knock on wood). If it did set in, I would try to trigger her movement with the whole cold-water-and-lay-on-left-side combination, and I'd bust out the home doppler I got. In truth, I am wallower: if anxiety is creeping in, I need to let myself feel it in full force before I can get over it. There have been many a night where I irrationally fear I'm going to lose her and just sob in the shower for a full 45 minutes. But once the feeling is out there, I'm able to think more logically and move forward.
@mdfarmchick the creek fire is close to my boys' dad -he is under voluntary evacuation right now... but i think they are out of danger.
@SoraLk re: monitors. I had the c2003 angelcare monitor with my teenager Zane and really only used it for naps as we co-slept at night... Vance was also in our bed so we didn't use a monitor for him - this was back in the OLD DAYS tho... Ironically, we purchased a snuza for Mars. I learned quickly it wouldn't work with co-sleeping so we never used it.
We did NOT lose Mars co-sleeping with us. He took a nap at daycare and never woke up. He was in a crib on his back with no blankets, no toys, no pillows, in a non-smoking house. Foul play has been completely ruled out. Although we still have pending genetic tests, the official cause of death of right now is SIDS, so this is a hot topic for us. We plan on co-sleeping with Nova and we WILL be using an owlet. Yes, they are expensive, but I do hear they work well. Another mom who lost her son to SIDS at daycare, no less, reached out to me over babycenter when we lost Mars, and we have become very good friends - she used the owlet with her rainbow baby and said it worked great... she only got false alarms for not enough information, not distress alarms.
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
How far along are you? 28 weeks today! Hellooooo, third trimester!!
Any appointments coming up? I’m having some blood work done on Tuesday. I guess it’s to check if I’m RH negative or something? I dunno.
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) Mostly doing well. My sugars have been awful today for some reason?? It always worries me because I am so paranoid about her getting too big and my doctor deciding I can’t attempt a VBAC.
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in? I either sit down and try to make her move or I’ll get out my fetal Doppler. It’s gotten a lot better since she’s big enough that I can feel how active she is now. I still have nightmares about losing her though.
@senora76 Thank you. I'm trying to convince my fiance that we should get the monitor since we've experienced two losses, but he's being stubborn. He thinks we'll be fine, but honestly I'd love the peace of mind - especially it works as well as I'm hearing.
@mdfarmchick I didn't get much out of my sister, her reply was simple: "She (her friend) recommends it. She got it because her daughter would stop breathing while she slept." I tried to ask for more detail, but my sister doesn't like to respond to me, and I don't have her friend's number.
**TW in Spoiler**
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/683816 BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16 BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed. BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18 BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
Glucose test, and other bloodwork next week. Also, going for weekly US now to monitor my cervix. My US yesterday showed the same length as the previous week.
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) Doing well. Just trying to soak in the rest of this pregnancy.
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in? I have to tell someone. Or cry. Usually both.
hi ladies- up with wicked heartburn and a jetlagged huaband!!!
@SoraLk I think it will in all honesty be a pain in the ass to use when its already a challenge parenting a newborn, haha, but we will still be getting one. I do think out of all the monitors out there... its the only one we will consider/use.
@kalawa i am getting bi weekly cervix checks too- its nice to have the piece of mind to know exactly where you are at... so far ive had no change too... better to be over cared for than under cared for!
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Any appointments coming up? My next appointment is after Christmas.
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and Today I am doing pretty good. I slept well the last two nights so that has definitely helped.
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in? I started using the meditation app called,"Insight Timer." It has been very helpful. I also sometimes wear a thicker rubber band around my wrist. When I get a wave of anxiety, I snap it to distract myself.
All the congrats to the third trimester ladies!! But does it start at 27 weeks or 28? Please say 27. I keep saying I'm starting 3rd trimester on Christmas, which is cool. Don't take this away from me lol
@justkeeptrying if it makes you feel any better, im still behind you LOL What freaks me out is that im feeling that late pregnancy discomfort and im really only just past the halfway mark!!!
I thought it was because I am 41, but I met up with a girlfriend of mine who is 42 and 36 weeks with her first baby... she is enormous in the belly and also only 5 feet tall like me... we took a walk across work and after 5 minutes shes like are you okay?? you are so out of breath! i am huffing and puffing already and have a loooooong way to go still!!!
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76 I think it’s because you’ve had more than one pregnancy. It feels about 10 weeks further along for me than it did with my first. You have more relaxin, earlier which keeps everything all loose—and uncomfortable. Lol.
@senora76, I totally agree with @mdfarmchick. I feel like I went into this pregnancy thinking "My body knows what to do, so this pregnancy will be a breeze" HAHAHAHA!!!!! Boy was I wrong...This is my 4th pregnancy (1 DS, and my 2 angel babies), and my body definitely knows what it's doing. But it's also like "You weigh more, you've been through a lot of stress, you're older now, so you're going to fall apart a lot faster". I definitely feel like I did at 8 months pregnant with DS. And I keep looking in the mirror and wondering HOW am I going to get any bigger than I already am????
@justkeeptrying omg yesss. I think all of my cramping and uncomfortable and lower back ache last week was for a bump stretch because I definitely feel like my bump just got bigger and rounder all of a sudden.
@senora76@justkeeptrying I know this sounds really crunchy, but I pulled up spinning babies this week to see if there was anything I could do about how uncomfortable I was, and stumbled across the daily exercises I can do to help with the pain and that help strengthen things for labor. I dunno if you guys are interested or familiar with spinning babies, but even just sitting on the yoga ball instead of the couch the past few days has really helped me.
@mdfarmchick thanks for the tip i do labor squats but thats about it... i see the MFM tomorrow and have so many ailments and aches and pains i plan on addressing everything... i think maybe shes in a weird position... hence the labor squats... I should just invest in a yoga ball we just dont have any space!!! id love to get one for work!
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@mdfarmchick, I need to look at spinning babies again. I tried when pregnant with DS and honestly I found the whole thing super confusing. My doula keeps telling me to go on there to start getting this baby in a good position (DS got stuck and resulted in a really hard labour) but I don't understand it all!! Lol
@justkeeptrying it’s actually not hard... like the daily activities are squats, lunges, cat/cow, child pose, and using a yoga ball to sit on, as well as moving your hips. I remember feeling overwhelmed with it with DS because he was sunny side up and I was trying to get him to turn and drop so it was confusing. At this point in our pregnancies, we are just trying to get baby in a good position and strengthen everything for labor. Send me a message on Facebook if you want some help.
28weeks (and 1 day? It’s almost 2 am and I just can’t sleep)
Any appointments coming up?
OB tomorrow, and I have to go to quest for blood work to see how I am reacting to the insulin injections? I think. Or this is some other blood work, hahahah just spend so much time getting blood drawn I can’t remember. I am at every 2 weeks now for the OB, monthly ultrasounds and cardiologist visits, and starting at 32 weeks I will be having twice weekly non stress tests. Lots of appointments.
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
Up and down. I guess I thought I would relax more at the point of viability, but my body is just fighting pregnancy so hard, and it seems like the closer I get the more things my body gets wrong and the less hospitable it is for him in there. But as an anxious person in general, I do know I have some feel good hormones in overdrive, because I am also more cheerful and easily amused than I would think I would be with all the complications. The cardiologist switched me to a different blood pressure medication on Thursday and I feel pretty bad on it, dizzy and weak and out of it, hopefully that gets better.
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in?
I feel like this is bad advice because it probably results in me spending more unnecessary money, but I find that when my brain wants to obsess about, say, sleep safety, or car accidents,or preeclampsia, it feels much better to obsess about structured baby carriers and baby bath tub options. Reading fiction helps like it always does, and my dog’s new pink fox pajamas have made my day so many times since they came I the mail from Etsy
@leilaquinn I’m sorry that you are having such a rough pregnancy. Sending hugs and love your way. I always distract myself when I start to stress about something.
Speaking of spinning babies... my kid flipped and for the first time in 4 babies - I have a breech! And she flipped me off. LOL I know she has time to turn... Vance was transverse the entire pregnancy until I went into labor with him at 35 weeks when he miraculously cooperated... but I've never had a full breech... Both Zane and Mars were head down since the level II ultrasound and stayed that way... Nova was at the level II but is doing her own thing now... Time to start hanging upside down LOL
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Re: PGAL Check In ((6 December))
How far along are you?
27 + 5
My next appointment is at the end of December and then I go to two week appointments.
I’m doing okay. I have gotten very uncomfortable in the last week and that has definitely caused me to slow wayyy down. I’m concerned about pre-term labor at this point because well that’s the next thing to worry about?? I’ve been having BH more often, my lower back has been aching, I have had some low cramping and in general have just been uncomfortable. This is way earlier than with my first and Dr. Google is not my friend. Ha.
Yoga, meditation, and distraction are some of my biggest coping mechanisms. I’ve started focusing on what I can do to prepare for March—and I’m looking for ways to be more comfortable. Baby kicks are also a great way to relieve anxiety. Ha. And checking in with my fellow loss moms on here. The timing this week of being uncomfortable was unfortunate because I also read meatball’s update on her blog ((twin loss mom in February 18)) and my heart is just broken for her and her family.
Spain... Baby is now moving while pushing into my bladder.. I pee myself a lot. I found a varicose vein and my vag is very weird looking now... still so happy we are expecting this baby... I feel like I’m going to have this baby earlier than I had Mars (10 days) and I hope not as early as I had Vance (5 weeks) The Makena shots are great reassurance, but they itch so badly i have bruises on my butt! Really just so tired but I’m waiting up for my teenager instead of sleeping in my comfy bed with my husband who just got home
tonite!!!!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
**TW in Spoiler**
BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.
BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
@SoraLk do you know anyone that has one? I think the newest version is much better, but I know two years ago, the moms that had this or the Angelcare monitor said they had a lot of false alarms—which can be stressful too. GL on the glucose test.
**TW in Spoiler**
BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.
BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
I try to keep myself busy with something, usually cleaning or organizing. Otherwise I lay down and do kick counts. I do them every night at the same time as well as other times throughout the day, because I just do and panic if I don’t.
@SoraLk re: monitors. I had the c2003 angelcare monitor with my teenager Zane and really only used it for naps as we co-slept at night... Vance was also in our bed so we didn't use a monitor for him - this was back in the OLD DAYS tho... Ironically, we purchased a snuza for Mars. I learned quickly it wouldn't work with co-sleeping so we never used it.
We did NOT lose Mars co-sleeping with us. He took a nap at daycare and never woke up. He was in a crib on his back with no blankets, no toys, no pillows, in a non-smoking house. Foul play has been completely ruled out. Although we still have pending genetic tests, the official cause of death of right now is SIDS, so this is a hot topic for us. We plan on co-sleeping with Nova and we WILL be using an owlet. Yes, they are expensive, but I do hear they work well. Another mom who lost her son to SIDS at daycare, no less, reached out to me over babycenter when we lost Mars, and we have become very good friends - she used the owlet with her rainbow baby and said it worked great... she only got false alarms for not enough information, not distress alarms.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@chasingroygbiv I do kick counts so many times a day just because it is so reassuring to me.
@ashtuesday I love that you thought to capture a video. I may steal that. So fun!
@senora76 I’m glad that you guys are safe and hope that everyone stays safe. I’m ready for a big rain.
28 weeks today! Hellooooo, third trimester!!
I’m having some blood work done on Tuesday. I guess it’s to check if I’m RH negative or something? I dunno.
Mostly doing well. My sugars have been awful today for some reason?? It always worries me because I am so paranoid about her getting too big and my doctor deciding I can’t attempt a VBAC.
I either sit down and try to make her move or I’ll get out my fetal Doppler. It’s gotten a lot better since she’s big enough that I can feel how active she is now. I still have nightmares about losing her though.
@mdfarmchick I didn't get much out of my sister, her reply was simple: "She (her friend) recommends it. She got it because her daughter would stop breathing while she slept." I tried to ask for more detail, but my sister doesn't like to respond to me, and I don't have her friend's number.
**TW in Spoiler**
BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.
BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
@SoraLk I think it will in all honesty be a pain in the ass to use when its already a challenge parenting a newborn, haha, but we will still be getting one. I do think out of all the monitors out there... its the only one we will consider/use.
@kalawa i am getting bi weekly cervix checks too- its nice to have the piece of mind to know exactly where you are at... so far ive had no change too... better to be over cared for than under cared for!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@kalawa I’m glad that you haven’t had any more changes to your cervix. I cry so much this pregnancy. But it does make me feel better.
Edit: sorry kalawa have NOT had any more. I need caffeine
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
My next appointment is after Christmas.
I started using the meditation app called,"Insight Timer." It has been very helpful. I also sometimes wear a thicker rubber band around my wrist. When I get a wave of anxiety, I snap it to distract myself.
I thought it was because I am 41, but I met up with a girlfriend of mine who is 42 and 36 weeks with her first baby... she is enormous in the belly and also only 5 feet tall like me... we took a walk across work and after 5 minutes shes like are you okay?? you are so out of breath! i am huffing and puffing already and have a loooooong way to go still!!!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76 @justkeeptrying I know this sounds really crunchy, but I pulled up spinning babies this week to see if there was anything I could do about how uncomfortable I was, and stumbled across the daily exercises I can do to help with the pain and that help strengthen things for labor. I dunno if you guys are interested or familiar with spinning babies, but even just sitting on the yoga ball instead of the couch the past few days has really helped me.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76, what are labour squats??
28weeks (and 1 day? It’s almost 2 am and I just can’t sleep)
OB tomorrow, and I have to go to quest for blood work to see how I am reacting to the insulin injections? I think. Or this is some other blood work, hahahah just spend so much time getting blood drawn I can’t remember. I am at every 2 weeks now for the OB, monthly ultrasounds and cardiologist visits, and starting at 32 weeks I will be having twice weekly non stress tests. Lots of appointments.
Up and down. I guess I thought I would relax more at the point of viability, but my body is just fighting pregnancy so hard, and it seems like the closer I get the more things my body gets wrong and the less hospitable it is for him in there. But as an anxious person in general, I do know I have some feel good hormones in overdrive, because I am also more cheerful and easily amused than I would think I would be with all the complications. The cardiologist switched me to a different blood pressure medication on Thursday and I feel pretty bad on it, dizzy and weak and out of it, hopefully that gets better.
I feel like this is bad advice because it probably results in me spending more unnecessary money, but I find that when my brain wants to obsess about, say, sleep safety,
Speaking of spinning babies... my kid flipped and for the first time in 4 babies - I have a breech! And she flipped me off. LOL I know she has time to turn... Vance was transverse the entire pregnancy until I went into labor with him at 35 weeks when he miraculously cooperated... but I've never had a full breech... Both Zane and Mars were head down since the level II ultrasound and stayed that way... Nova was at the level II but is doing her own thing now... Time to start hanging upside down LOL
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18