This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.
How far along are you?
Any appointments coming up?
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
GTKY: What are your best and favorite coping mechanisms for when you feel anxiety about your pregnancy creeping in?
Re: PGAL Check In ((6 December))
How far along are you?
27 + 5
My next appointment is at the end of December and then I go to two week appointments.
I’m doing okay. I have gotten very uncomfortable in the last week and that has definitely caused me to slow wayyy down. I’m concerned about pre-term labor at this point because well that’s the next thing to worry about?? I’ve been having BH more often, my lower back has been aching, I have had some low cramping and in general have just been uncomfortable. This is way earlier than with my first and Dr. Google is not my friend. Ha.
Yoga, meditation, and distraction are some of my biggest coping mechanisms. I’ve started focusing on what I can do to prepare for March—and I’m looking for ways to be more comfortable. Baby kicks are also a great way to relieve anxiety. Ha. And checking in with my fellow loss moms on here. The timing this week of being uncomfortable was unfortunate because I also read meatball’s update on her blog ((twin loss mom in February 18)) and my heart is just broken for her and her family.
Spain... Baby is now moving while pushing into my bladder.. I pee myself a lot. I found a varicose vein and my vag is very weird looking now... still so happy we are expecting this baby... I feel like I’m going to have this baby earlier than I had Mars (10 days) and I hope not as early as I had Vance (5 weeks) The Makena shots are great reassurance, but they itch so badly i have bruises on my butt! Really just so tired but I’m waiting up for my teenager instead of sleeping in my comfy bed with my husband who just got home
tonite!!!!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
**TW in Spoiler**
BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.
BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
@SoraLk do you know anyone that has one? I think the newest version is much better, but I know two years ago, the moms that had this or the Angelcare monitor said they had a lot of false alarms—which can be stressful too. GL on the glucose test.
**TW in Spoiler**
BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.
BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
I try to keep myself busy with something, usually cleaning or organizing. Otherwise I lay down and do kick counts. I do them every night at the same time as well as other times throughout the day, because I just do and panic if I don’t.
@SoraLk re: monitors. I had the c2003 angelcare monitor with my teenager Zane and really only used it for naps as we co-slept at night... Vance was also in our bed so we didn't use a monitor for him - this was back in the OLD DAYS tho... Ironically, we purchased a snuza for Mars. I learned quickly it wouldn't work with co-sleeping so we never used it.
We did NOT lose Mars co-sleeping with us. He took a nap at daycare and never woke up. He was in a crib on his back with no blankets, no toys, no pillows, in a non-smoking house. Foul play has been completely ruled out. Although we still have pending genetic tests, the official cause of death of right now is SIDS, so this is a hot topic for us. We plan on co-sleeping with Nova and we WILL be using an owlet. Yes, they are expensive, but I do hear they work well. Another mom who lost her son to SIDS at daycare, no less, reached out to me over babycenter when we lost Mars, and we have become very good friends - she used the owlet with her rainbow baby and said it worked great... she only got false alarms for not enough information, not distress alarms.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@chasingroygbiv I do kick counts so many times a day just because it is so reassuring to me.
@ashtuesday I love that you thought to capture a video. I may steal that. So fun!
@senora76 I’m glad that you guys are safe and hope that everyone stays safe. I’m ready for a big rain.
28 weeks today! Hellooooo, third trimester!!
I’m having some blood work done on Tuesday. I guess it’s to check if I’m RH negative or something? I dunno.
Mostly doing well. My sugars have been awful today for some reason?? It always worries me because I am so paranoid about her getting too big and my doctor deciding I can’t attempt a VBAC.
I either sit down and try to make her move or I’ll get out my fetal Doppler. It’s gotten a lot better since she’s big enough that I can feel how active she is now. I still have nightmares about losing her though.
@mdfarmchick I didn't get much out of my sister, her reply was simple: "She (her friend) recommends it. She got it because her daughter would stop breathing while she slept." I tried to ask for more detail, but my sister doesn't like to respond to me, and I don't have her friend's number.
**TW in Spoiler**
BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.
BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
@SoraLk I think it will in all honesty be a pain in the ass to use when its already a challenge parenting a newborn, haha, but we will still be getting one. I do think out of all the monitors out there... its the only one we will consider/use.
@kalawa i am getting bi weekly cervix checks too- its nice to have the piece of mind to know exactly where you are at... so far ive had no change too... better to be over cared for than under cared for!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@kalawa I’m glad that you haven’t had any more changes to your cervix. I cry so much this pregnancy. But it does make me feel better.
Edit: sorry kalawa have NOT had any more. I need caffeine
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
My next appointment is after Christmas.
I started using the meditation app called,"Insight Timer." It has been very helpful. I also sometimes wear a thicker rubber band around my wrist. When I get a wave of anxiety, I snap it to distract myself.
I thought it was because I am 41, but I met up with a girlfriend of mine who is 42 and 36 weeks with her first baby... she is enormous in the belly and also only 5 feet tall like me... we took a walk across work and after 5 minutes shes like are you okay?? you are so out of breath! i am huffing and puffing already and have a loooooong way to go still!!!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76 @justkeeptrying I know this sounds really crunchy, but I pulled up spinning babies this week to see if there was anything I could do about how uncomfortable I was, and stumbled across the daily exercises I can do to help with the pain and that help strengthen things for labor. I dunno if you guys are interested or familiar with spinning babies, but even just sitting on the yoga ball instead of the couch the past few days has really helped me.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76, what are labour squats??
28weeks (and 1 day? It’s almost 2 am and I just can’t sleep)
OB tomorrow, and I have to go to quest for blood work to see how I am reacting to the insulin injections? I think. Or this is some other blood work, hahahah just spend so much time getting blood drawn I can’t remember. I am at every 2 weeks now for the OB, monthly ultrasounds and cardiologist visits, and starting at 32 weeks I will be having twice weekly non stress tests. Lots of appointments.
Up and down. I guess I thought I would relax more at the point of viability, but my body is just fighting pregnancy so hard, and it seems like the closer I get the more things my body gets wrong and the less hospitable it is for him in there. But as an anxious person in general, I do know I have some feel good hormones in overdrive, because I am also more cheerful and easily amused than I would think I would be with all the complications. The cardiologist switched me to a different blood pressure medication on Thursday and I feel pretty bad on it, dizzy and weak and out of it, hopefully that gets better.
I feel like this is bad advice because it probably results in me spending more unnecessary money, but I find that when my brain wants to obsess about, say, sleep safety,
Speaking of spinning babies... my kid flipped and for the first time in 4 babies - I have a breech! And she flipped me off. LOL I know she has time to turn... Vance was transverse the entire pregnancy until I went into labor with him at 35 weeks when he miraculously cooperated... but I've never had a full breech... Both Zane and Mars were head down since the level II ultrasound and stayed that way... Nova was at the level II but is doing her own thing now... Time to start hanging upside down LOL
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18