FFFC | 12.1

ldawngirl781

We've been slacking on our daily boards this week (UO Thursdays, etc.) so maybe we'll have a lot of FFFC!

psm2462

I had a sugar bomb of a treat immediately after my 1-hour glucose test, *just in case* I didn't pass, so that I could have one "last meal."  Then, I had an ice cream sundae to celebrate passing.  

ldawngirl781

I hate yoga. I try once in awhile to like it, but no... I don't find it fun, or relaxing or even a good workout. 

Chawk17

ldawngirl781 said:

I hate yoga. I try once in awhile to like it, but no... I don't find it fun, or relaxing or even a good workout. 

same and it makes me gassy.  Just so awkward.

winnie1122

@psm2462 Haha I did the same thing, got a frappucino at SB after mine and I just got the results this morning and am celebrating with another frappucino when I go run errands this afternoon. It’s just about my only ‘treat yo self’ thing I can do without feeling too guilty.

I feel like I always think of a good fffc on Saturday. Never can come up with one on Friday. 

ash0625

Maybe this is the naive FTM in me, but I have no plans to dictate who can come to the hospital or wait in the waiting room or come over after the baby gets home (minus sick people). I just don't care that much. 

ETA: My original was more of an UO than a confession. Oops. 

chucksmom15

Same @ldawngirl781!  I am not flexible at all and yoga is like a form of torture for me.  When I took ballet if I didn't stretch every day for about 30 minutes my muscles were tight and hurt.  I'm just not built for yoga.

SarahFoley725

ash0625 said:

Maybe this is the naive FTM in me, but I have no plans to dictate who can come to the hospital or wait in the waiting room or come over after the baby gets home (minus sick people). I just don't care that much. 

ETA: My original was more of an UO than a confession. Oops. 

My daughter was born two days before her God parents wedding (which DH and I were supposed to be in). All of our friends from college were in town so we had at least a dozen visitors in her first 3 days of life. 

I wouldnt do the same same thing again mostly because I feel like it contributed to some BF issues but largely I don't care either. 

winnie1122

I loved having visitors in the hospital since I was there FOREVER for an induction. That said I was very glad we had no one else during the actual pushing/delivery or for an hour after delivery. This time I will only restrict because it’s sick season, DS was a summer baby so I wasn’t worried. I much preferred hospital visitors to home visitors. Really depends on your comfort level with the people who want to visit and your physical needs during labor/delivery/recovery. I didn’t have a rough time physically til I got home.

eggplantface

I took Miralax last night and just ate a ton of grapefruit. Now I wait for the fireworks to begin....

3plus1equals4

@ash0625 I didn't dictate anything with my first and my inlaws spent my whole labor in the waiting room complaining that DH wasn't visiting with them or that we weren't updating frequently enough. I was exhausted and had been contracting for 48 hours by DD's birth. Then they wanted in immediately even though I had to get stitches and try nursing and go to the bathroom.  

Some people just have inlaws or family that need boundaries set. I don't make rules for my mom because she takes cues well and is helpful. I also now have a rule that no one can visit until after my other kids get to meet their new sibling. It gives us time to be a family and let the kids hold baby before being mobbed with visitors.

3plus1equals4

My FFFC(s): I have had a yogurt, caffeinated coffee, and taco bell today. I have zero desire to eat anything healthy and now have waffle fries in the oven, which will be topped with cheese and bacon bits.

I also have not done any laundry in 4 days and only did one load that previous day. There's at least a week's worth of play clothes, work clothes, and school uniforms, etc from DH, me, and 3 kids overflowing our laundry baskets. I am ignoring them tonight because again... zero desire.

chucksmom15

3plus1equals4 said:

My FFFC(s): I have had a yogurt, caffeinated coffee, and taco bell today. I have zero desire to eat anything healthy and now have waffle fries in the oven, which will be topped with cheese and bacon bits.

I also have not done any laundry in 4 days and only did one load that previous day. There's at least a week's worth of play clothes, work clothes, and school uniforms, etc from DH, me, and 3 kids overflowing our laundry baskets. I am ignoring them tonight because again... zero desire.

OMG now I want waffle cheese fries....

SarahFoley725

I've caught myself being an "extra" mom. DD will be 21 months at Christmas. I'd picked out 5 things for her for Christmas and told DH that was it, she's not even 2, she doesn't know what's up and she's already got a bunch of stuff. 

I swear in the last month she's shown interest in so many things I can't help but get her more stuff. She doesn't need it and I know it but I can't stop buying for her. I've partially guilted myself into making her "last only child Christmas" a big deal. 

seitzy3

I get personally offended when i post something for sale online and no one is interested in it. Like what the shit Brenda, buy my never used rice pot! 

kbrinks2

@ash0625 I didn't dictate who was at the hospital but I don't have any family in the area so it was easy for us. To be honest we didn't tell anyone we were even in labour until after baby was born! My mom is a worrier like me so it was easier to just not tell anyone! I'm glad I didn't tell anyone since I was in labour for 18 hours and ended up having a c-section. It was easier to call after and say baby Is here, I had a csection and everyone is fine! 

kbrinks2

My confession is that my DH and I decided no tv for a bit for our DS because he refuses to do anything if he's watching it (eat, drink, get dressed, listen at all) and it makes us late for work. DH is gone hunting tomorrow and I know that DA will be up before 7 and he will be watching shows laying in bed with me! What DH doesn't know won't hurt him right!

soulcupcake

3plus1equals4 said:

@ash0625 I didn't dictate anything with my first and my inlaws spent my whole labor in the waiting room complaining that DH wasn't visiting with them or that we weren't updating frequently enough. I was exhausted and had been contracting for 48 hours by DD's birth. Then they wanted in immediately even though I had to get stitches and try nursing and go to the bathroom.  

Some people just have inlaws or family that need boundaries set. I don't make rules for my mom because she takes cues well and is helpful. I also now have a rule that no one can visit until after my other kids get to meet their new sibling. It gives us time to be a family and let the kids hold baby before being mobbed with visitors.

@3plus1equals4 - Ditto. Mainly just my MIL. She can be a bit...smothering and is "on" a lot, whereas we need necessary space and boundaries. My dd3 was born at home on TG afternoon when MIL/FIL/SIL were driving back from visiting her mom and she wanted to stop by when they got the news. It was a bit unexpected for everyone since we didn't think she'd arrive so quickly (had notified family that we were setting up the birth tub, but weren't exactly sure when labor would actually start, then just over an hour later we sent texts announcing her birth), but she was really pushing to visit and both FIL and SIL said it wasn't a good idea. 

They ended up visiting the next day, IIRC. I can't stand unannounced visits, and MIL was known to do that early on. H had to set boundaries.

It's different with my mom, who isn't even local to us, because we're super close and she isn't intrusive and is actually helpful. We plan to wait to announce Theo's birth to give us all time together as a family.

rainafire77

This is late but my confession is that while I appreciate people gifting used baby stuff, I'm annoyed when they dump EVERYTHING that has been sitting in their storage on you from stained and filthy clothing and blankets to old toys and anything else that was broken or cracked and shouldn't be used again. Now I have to sort through stuff to decide what needs to be trashed, what needs to be donated to goodwill because I already have it and what I can actually use. I especially like when they say "some of this probably could get trashed but we haven't had time to go through the boxes." And you think I do?

neener*neener*

@rainafire77
I agree with you completely on the gifting used baby stuff...

On a similar topic. 

I get supremely annoyed when people say "Oh, I have x,y,z that I'd love to give you." and then they forget or give you the run around when you ask about it... so annoying. Just don't offer if you don't want to give something and I'll buy it myself, that is totally fine, but when you offer, please stick to it or just be honest.

rainafire77

@neener*neener* Yes! One of my co-workers said "oh my daughter has a practically brand new pack n play we'll give you!" So I didn't buy the one we wanted on cyber Monday when it was on sale. I've asked since then and she seemed annoyed I brought it up. So do we get yours or no? Because if not we need to move on with life.

babymakes9

rainafire77 said:

@neener*neener* Yes! One of my co-workers said "oh my daughter has a practically brand new pack n play we'll give you!" So I didn't buy the one we wanted on cyber Monday when it was on sale. I've asked since then and she seemed annoyed I brought it up. So do we get yours or no? Because if not we need to move on with life.

 Same! We are waiting on so much!
 Mil was going to get a high chair for us,  but our cousin said she'd give us the one her granddaughter hated that we registered for,  dh's bff promised all his sons outgrown baby clothes,  and another a bassinet.  

We have gotten 0 of these items so far. I've started buying clothes,  and if we don't get the bassinet before December's over I'll just go buy one somewhere.  But it is so annoying!

amb929

Okay...this is mean... and I am a bad person for these thoughts...but I'm so over my sister and her bullshit, I literally can't even contain my meanness anymore. 

So this weekend, my mom asked my sister and I to get together for a mother/daughter day. We went shopping and for 'high tea' at a hotel near my house down by the beach. My mom has wanted to do this for a while now because it's something she did with her sister that passed away. Needless to say, neither my sister nor I had any interest BUT we went cause she's our mother and it was the right thing to do. 

So, we are in the car, driving down to the hotel. My sister who is neither married, nor pregnant yet starts to tell my mom and I the names she and her bf have picked out for her theoretical future children. Evelyn and Benjamin. My mom, who is the only person we have told what we are naming our son, says to her "Benjamin isn't going to happen" in the blunt way my mom likes to drop truth bombs. My sister gets extraordinarily pissed at me for stealing her baby name. Starts yelling about how unfair it is etc. and then CALLS HER BOYFRIEND in the car as we are driving and whines to him about me... yep. I'm sitting in the drivers seat trying not to drive the car off the Newport bridge in a rage. She hangs up. 

By the time we got home from the tea I was forced to attend, my sister was attempting to convince me to pick a different name so I don't ruin her life (yes she used these words) and also telling me her boyfriend better propose and put a baby in her soon cause she just KNOWS she'll probably have to go through IVF etc. etc. etc. I was trying so so hard not to smack a bitch. As a result of my desire NOT to change my mind about our child's name...she is bringing her dog to Christmas to spite me and make sure my other child is medicated and miserable. By the time she left, I stood in the doorway smiling and kind of hoping that the two of them are not able to have children because those poor poor kids will never know what love is given how selfish and horrible my sister is. And then I felt bad for having these thoughts. And then I felt justified. And so on and so forth. The two of them are house hunting and I really hope they buy something far enough away from me that I never have to see them or deal with them again. That's how done I am with her. 

BrittaniLC

@amb929  Whoa! Your sister is totally crazy! When you have kids second, you don’t get to say what your older siblings name their children! I sort of went through that with DD. I liked Hazel for a first name (dh’s Paternal grandmother’s name), but his brother had a girl a year before my DD and used it as a middle name and DH said we couldn’t use it as a first name. I also liked the name Henry if DD would have been a boy, but my sister had a boy 5 months before I had DD and used Henry as the middle name. Tough luck! I was only upset for a short time and moved on so quickly. Your sister is nuts!

Starynightsky24

@amb929  wow. So you cannot use the name that you love because your sister’s boyfriend MIGHT propose, and they COULD get married and then MAY have a baby that could POSSIBLY be a boy?!  Then after all that time… She might still like that one name?!?That sounds ridiculous to me.  Definitely ignore her… You handled that more gracefully than I would have LOL 

diesel11111

@amb929 that makes me what to go give my sister a big old hug right now for being not crazy! I cannot believe she tried to convince you to not name your son that!! You are totally justified in your feelings!

babybro218

@amb929 I am so impressed with your ability to keep from smacking your sister. After reading that, I would happily do it for you. 

kbrinks2

@amb929 I don't think anyone can put dibs on a name!! That happens all the time when naming kids, someone you know uses the name and you just decide on a new name!

eggplantface

@amb929 Wow. That is just horrible. I am horrified on your behalf!! And to spite you for "stealing" the name of her non-existent baby, she's going to bring her dog around your allergic child and make him miserable?? That's so selfish! I'd hate for you to punish the dog by making it stay in the garage or something, but it's not fair to make your son suffer because she's crazy.

ash0625

I'm with @eggplantface - her behavior is cruel on multiple levels. I'm sorry. I want to kick her in the face. 

magnolia305

@amb929 How does your sister deal with real life problems?  If she is getting that upset about you taking the name of her possible child-later-down-the-road-maybe, I fear she may need some coping strategies to deal with life. 

jessilee15

My sister is similar - she just got married but doesn’t plan to have kids ever.  Yet when I told her that the only name my husband and I both liked was William, she said “I hope you’re not asking if you can use it, because you know it’s mine”. She honestly believes the world revolves around her; she’s brilliant and can be amazing, but she’s so self centered she tends to ruin family events. It’s way worse now that my other sister and I have kids; we used to just accommodate whatever she wanted and life was good, but now between us we have 5 boys under 5 and when she wants to take the kids ice skating at 9 pm for “fun” and we have to explain to her why that’s a terrible idea, she loses her mind. And she was a horrible bridezilla!

SunflowerMama428

@amb929 I will never understand why people care so much about having the same name in a family. I couldn’t count how many people in my family have the same names. I get naming traditions are different across cultures but we always give nicknames so realistically it never mattered. And it was always more favorable to pick names in the family already. 

 My son has been the Spanish name for penguin since birth and my dad forgot his actual name for a minute. Life’s to short to care about who else has a child with the same name. I contemplated naming this baby the same name as my sisters son for different reasons and no one cared. 

What they did have a problem with was our final name choice because they thought it was a made up name. Which it isn’t. Lol

chucksmom15

Wow @amb929!!  You have more self control than me.  You should definitely use the name bc she is crazy.  And although I am a huge dog lover, I think you should forbid her to bring the dog to your house.  I would send her a list of day camps like Camp Bow Wow in your area and tell her if she brings the dog it must go there.  I feel bad for the dog but I would not let her bring it in the house and make your child sick.  She has a big set of kahunas for not asking if it was ok in the first place but I think we've discussed how inconsiderate she is with your LO's allergies before.

amb929

Thanks for the support all! I constantly question if I'm the crazy one here or if she is actually as big of a nightmare as I think she is. My husband always tells me a resounding YES. I conveniently had my monthly therapy appointment this morning so I spent a solid hour discussing more or less plotting my sister's doom with my therapist and basically... everyone who knows her directly or indirectly agrees that she truly IS nuttier than a cashew. 

I'm a writer... so I kill characters with her attributes all the time in stories cause it helps me feel better   

The reality is... because of a series of events beyond anyone's control... my sister has ZERO coping strategies for anything ever. For the last 10 years or so since that I've been with my husband, all I've had to hear about is how she doesn't have a boyfriend/husband etc. etc. so as much as I can't stand the guy she's with...I'm grateful for him because I don't have to deal with her drama on that level anymore.

Of course, the drama has changed/escalated to other things now (namely her dog...which is basically a surrogate for the child she wants but doesn't have) and her need to demonstrate to me how much better her boyfriend is than my husband because to her LIFE is a competition. (She ain't winning the contest with this guy...he's a piece of work himself)

I've been done playing games since...always...but it doesn't work that way in her twisted little mind.

SOMEHOW, she is actually professionally successful. My sister is a Nurse Practitioner at a major, reputable, city hospital. She is wonderful with her patients but it is simply because it is self-serving to her to be good at her job. Everything she does in her life, whether a good deed or not, is for selfish reasons. She is pretty much the epitome of a complete narcissist. What my mother fails to see/understand about my sister is that she really IS mentally ill. She desperately wants the two of us to have the kind of relationship she had with her own sister but... I can't fix crazy. So I nod, smile and distance myself. Loud gangster rap and muttering profanity under my breath also help. 

I do take a lot of her crap. It's easier to just let her explode and privately acknowledge that this is not normal. The fighting that ensues when you push back isn't worth it to me.  I have drawn the line though with some stuff. Namely my family. She will not bring her animal to my home even though this Christmas thing is her gearing up to bring the dog to my son's 3rd birthday in June. I will tell her bluntly to stay home you aren't welcome if she can't crate their animal for a few hours. She fully and intentionally KNEW if she used certain manipulation techniques my mother would cave and now my kid is going to pay the price for that. I won't have that. She will have no relationship with her nephews because of her selfishness and if she needs to be told why...I'll use the psychology degree I have to explain to her that it's because she is mentally ill. I can take a lot but enough is enough. I could go on and on and basically write a full length novel on her level of crazy. At some point it stops being helpful cause it's never going to change. I appreciate the validation though because sometimes I question whether or not she IS that bad. At this point though, she kind of deserves what she gets. So when she complains about stuff... like that she'll never get pregnant or he'll never propose etc. I just sit back and enjoy watching the world burn. 

chucksmom15

I'm a writer... so I kill characters with her attributes all the time in stories cause it helps me feel better   

@amb929 I enjoyed this part a little too much lol

amb929

jessilee15 said:

My sister is similar - she just got married but doesn’t plan to have kids ever.  Yet when I told her that the only name my husband and I both liked was William, she said “I hope you’re not asking if you can use it, because you know it’s mine”. She honestly believes the world revolves around her; she’s brilliant and can be amazing, but she’s so self centered she tends to ruin family events. It’s way worse now that my other sister and I have kids; we used to just accommodate whatever she wanted and life was good, but now between us we have 5 boys under 5 and when she wants to take the kids ice skating at 9 pm for “fun” and we have to explain to her why that’s a terrible idea, she loses her mind. And she was a horrible bridezilla!

My sister THOUGHT the name they agreed on was William at first. Until her boyfriend told her it was Benjamin. THEN she was furious...at me...cause that makes sense. lol Some people just don't understand how the world works. Your sister also sounds like one of those people. It seems like a lot of people on this BMB have crazy...siblings, in-laws etc. We should probably have a meeting of the minds to discuss how to orchestrate a gathering of all the nut job relatives. I feel like someone might benefit by getting a dissertation study out of something like that 

@chucksmom15 I think perhaps sending her a list of doggy daycares in our area would be JUST aggressive and fun enough for me to try it. She'll lose her damn mind and I'll laugh then tell her to either leave the dog and her bf at home or she can stay there too whatever works. lol I'm partial to the second part

@SunflowerMama428 I have a family member who has a son named "Bennett" which is similar. She doesn't call her son "Ben" but we've discussed names before and I know she will have no problem with us having a child with a similar name. I don't even have any more fucks to give about it anyway to be honest! lol I also have a cousin who shares my exact legal name prior to marriage. We're about a year apart and it's never been a problem or a big deal because neither of us are criminals so it's all good 

babymakes9

@amb929 and @jessilee15 in so sorry you have name drama for unborn possible future babies. I would just ignore them and do what you want,  what are they going to do about it?

libbodee

My brothers gf called dibs on a name. They have only been dating 5 months, and it was a name we we're seriously considering. It is her grandmothers name so I understand her territorial-ness but at the same time wtf?? She's not in the family, they could break up before my baby is even born. Pretty bold for the 2nd time I've ever talked to her!!

rainafire77

What the frack is up with these women? It's like entitled much? The world revolves around them and ONLY them and every one of their wishes must be granted or they will have a class A shit fit? Good lord...they need to grow the hell up and live in the real world.

babymakes9

libbodee said:

My brothers gf called dibs on a name. They have only been dating 5 months, and it was a name we we're seriously considering. It is her grandmothers name so I understand her territorial-ness but at the same time wtf?? She's not in the family, they could break up before my baby is even born. Pretty bold for the 2nd time I've ever talked to her!!

Use the name if you like it. Cousins can have the same name.