@blair_krank.... from lack of organization which leads to it being difficult to form a strong community. again.... if you lurk other apps or websites its near impossible to get to know anyone because of the total lack of structure
Seconding @dapple88 on Coco. It was amazing! Total ugly cry yet in a good way. Even dh cried and he is Mr. Macho, no feelings type. My nieces and nephews loved it, as well (ages between 3-8). Beautiful message. There is a 20 minute Frozen mini movie. It was cute.
Also, if you see Wonder, take tissues. I cried not even 10 minutes into it. Totally worth it though!
Seconding @dapple88 on Coco. It was amazing! Total ugly cry yet in a good way. Even dh cried and he is Mr. Macho, no feelings type. My nieces and nephews loved it, as well (ages between 3-8). Beautiful message. There is a 20 minute Frozen mini movie. It was cute.
Also, if you see Wonder, take tissues. I cried not even 10 minutes into it. Totally worth it though!
Not seeing either, not till baby comes. Only comedies for me, anything else will create water works.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
Both of my parents have passed away and I’ve been struggling with how to explain to DS when he asks about them. We never celebrated Dia De Los Muertos but we’ve always had an alter or tribute for my parents and my grandma. This movie helped me explain to DS tonight that gramma Lupe and Grampo Dan will be at his party next week like mama Imelda and mama coco were at the party. They are there but we can’t see them. He’s been asking if they’ll be at his birthday party.
It may seem silly but it made perfect sense for me today. ❤️
On the topic of board order, this is what I'm thinking as I'm reading the different points.
Personally, I think there's gotta be a way to find middle ground between rigidity and a free-for-all. One-offs are obvious and annoying and easy to spot and I'm all for shutting them down, but I don't see the problem with regulars posting stuff that isn't necessarily in a thread. I can see threads that aren't very specific not seeming to encompass everything, and people wanting to start threads. I can also see the need for order, and directing people to the appropriate thread is great. And I see the point that order helps build community so it's not a free for all. I've also seen that too much order, to the point that people who ARE part of the community are afraid to start posts for fear of getting "pooh pooh-ed" as they've said, tears down community. The Bump is already a much more rigid and structured place than I knew it to be, which I get based on the Great Exodus, something had to be done. I think when we start self-policing when we don't have voted moderators (board moderators are no longer a thing, right?) it's a recipe for a few self-appointed moderators, vocal people, toeing the line and keeping everyone else in line. It ends up that they make the board what they want, to the detriment of everyone who are regulars being able to have free discourse. I'm not talking about anyone here specifically, we're too early for that. Just what I've seen happen on Facebook and stuff. Basically, I'd love to see a board that has order, but where regular people who contribute to the community of the board can also post without fearing backlash. To play devil's advocate, threads that go on for a long time, or have the same title and just change dates tend to develop their own mini-culture as the same people tend to hang out and respond in them. Sometimes you want to hear from the whole group, or people with fresh eyes, not just the few that tend to pop up in one thread. Not saying everyone needs their own thread for every question, just pointing that out.
Also, I think TB just doesn't work for me. Searches never work, and I have to rely on TB to remember the last place I read, and I just end up clicking when I see the yellow notification. Maybe it's because I'm 90% mobile, I don't know, but it's frustrating.
@christycalifornia you do bring up a good point about mobile and searching. You do have to rely solely on the yellow notifications to know where you put things, and read through everything in order to get to the answers to your questions. But I would argue that while frustrating when you want answers to your questions, it forces people to go through all the threads and see what other people are doing, instead of just going straight to the thread they started where all the answers to their question are.
I think a couple things. Why not poll? See what people think when it comes to starting special threads vs. posting in symptoms/randoms/questions. Maybe @lindsayleigh1989 and I are the a-holes! Something that always bothers me is, if there are rules, but its ok not to follow them, then why have them written out? Product spotlight is where we are supposed to talk about cars and strollers but not one person has product spotlighted, they just start their own thread. If we have rules, we should follow them, but if we aren't going to follow those rules we should change them.
I also think people are super excited right now, and later on we will post all encompassing threads about registries and products/labor and delivery advice/natural birth, vbac, csection mamas/ etc and it will get less cluttered. But I look at June 2018 and I see almost nothing but the threads listed in board organization. I can find the weeklies in there. And here, TTGP for 4 days ago is 1/3 of the way down page 2.
In summary...should we poll to find out if people prefer a less organized board with special topic threads so they can find their answers more easily, or would people prefer a organized board where they post ONLY in specific threads listed in board organization (which would, in my experience, allow for special topic threads if we all discussed it in randoms/questions/symptoms or something else and decided it was a general board need)? Maybe that would solve the problem for us of continuously kicking this back and fourth between 5 or 6 of us, lol.
I agree that there's a lot of topic threads and it's crowding the board, but I also think if we start policing regulars toeing the line that would hurt the community. I don't see a huge problem with regulars starting threads if it's done the right way and includes the whole group. That being said it just took me probably 10 minutes to find this board- I read it, wanted to come back and say something and couldn't find it. So idk. I'm torn.
My two cents: I find this board format really confusing. I am used to boards where each topic is a thread, not where we all bring up multiple questions or topics in a combined thread. It makes it hard to find the stuff I am most interested in reading about or contributing to.
Yes, my other boards get a little crowded but I think even crowded they are easier to navigate because I can easily find or skip threads. In this format I need to spend a lot of time reading a really long thread to find out what topics are in it.
I can totally see both sides of this. On one hand the organization is great, on the other hand the “scolding” when someone doesn’t follow the rules is a bit off-putting, even to an uninvolved bystander. I worry that someone will see that and decide not to get involved for fear of not doing something correctly and being reprimanded. So I don’t know what the answer is... I’m no help.
@ashbub714 im sorry but if kindly and gently while welcoming them to a more appropriate place is scolding id hate to see what you think of my snark. since im the one who does it mainly feel free to tag me next time you want to tell someone they are scolding and scaring off members.
I don't think pointing out the organizational guidelines is scolding someone. If they want to contribute in the community they should understand how it works... Most of the one off posters don't contribute to the community and only log on TB to ask a single question and then never come back. Or they're trolls. Or they made a mistake, they are guided to the proper thread and they learn how to contribute to the community the way everyone else does.
When I first started lurking/using TB I was super put off by how rigid the posting format was and how rude some of the members were to posters not following the “rules” to a tee. However, having been part of this community for slightly longer, lurking June and seeing how the organization rules play out in practice, and lurking other more “free for all” forums, I really do see the benefit of following the proposed structure/weeklies, especially if developing connections and community is the ultimate goal.
Im not one to actually police but do appreciate those that do and try to keep some semblance of order. I’ll participate either way, but if I had to vote, doing things the TB way makes the most sense and certainly differentiates this board from all the other pregnancy “communities” out there.
I don't think pointing out the organizational guidelines is scolding someone. If they want to contribute in the community they should understand how it works... Most of the one off posters don't contribute to the community and only log on TB to ask a single question and then never come back. Or they're trolls. Or they made a mistake, they are guided to the proper thread and they learn how to contribute to the community the way everyone else does.
This.
The one off threads that are a problem are the are the ones that are using us as their own personal Google rather than, you know, Googling shit themselves. Building a community requires give and take and there will be some growing pains as we settle into a system.
i think i will be taking a break from the board for a bit since im clearly in the wrong of what people want
I feel more like it’s half and half. Maybe even 50% for, 25% against, and 25% do not care. FTR, I fall in the do not care. I comment because that is what one does on internet message boards.
@lindsayleigh1989 I honestly wasn’t talking about anyone in particular and I also wasn’t saying I particularly think of it as scolding. I was saying that could be the perception of others. That’s why I put scolding in quotes. I apologize if I stepped on your toes as that was not my intention. I don’t start one off threads and I try to follow the rules. I was just giving my input as I thought that was wanted. Again, I apologize and I’ll bow out of this conversarion. Honestly I think my emotions may be a little too crazy to handle it as the thought of hurting your feelings and you thinking I was targeting you made me cry at my desk, which is just ridiculous
@devilcat139 okay well i appreciate that. it isnt fun but if no one does it just like when no one starts the daily threads i often step up to do it. it sucks to have people act like im a b**ch for doing what every other board here does
I don't think most people think you're being a b*tch @lindsayleigh1989. (I sure don't) Those that do probably don't understand and are taking the organization for granted. With time we'll get more organized, some people will become inactive, find other boards, etc and those that are here to stay will get it. Right now the board is new, people are excited, threads are everywhere and it takes a little extra work to stop it from becoming the Wild West of BMB's (tm). Anyone that thinks this BMB is too structured please look at all the BMB's that came before us. They're all organized the same exact way, and they work.
@lindsayleigh1989 don’t leave us!!! I like how you hall monitor. I see both sides, but ladies I’ve been part of so many bmb’s in the past, BELIEVE ME she’s being VERY kind in her attempts to educate people and keep the board organized.
@lindsayleigh1989 don’t leave us!!! I like how you hall monitor. I see both sides, but ladies I’ve been part of so many bmb’s in the past, BELIEVE ME she’s being VERY kind in her attempts to educate people and keep the board organized.
I 100% agree that the redirection in this BMB is the kindest I had ever seen. If you need an example of how things usually go, take a look at the HDBD thread from 11/1.
So....poll? yay or nay? I think it would go a long way to those of us who have strong opinions one way or another knowing if our attempts are appreciated by most or if we are annoying, haha. Democracy! Or something.
@lindsayleigh1989 totally get that-that’s why I appreciate you stepping up! In my initial post I was actually referring to lurking TB in general before July 2018 was even open so definitely was not passive aggressively referring to you, or even one person, in particular. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
I'm in the "give support to get support" camp. One off AW posters need to be shutdown and redirected, which has been happening effectively for us. I haven't seen any posters get unjustly shut down, but I haven't opened every single thread. I think this issue will work itself out as we get more comfortable with each other. The drive bys will be more clear once intros havd slowed down because we will all know who the regular posters are.
i think i will be taking a break from the board for a bit since im clearly in the wrong of what people want
Oh hon, don't do that. At least don't do it based on a false premise. I may not have seen everything, but from what I've seen no one's mad at you or dragging you or getting ugly about this. I know it's hard, but try not to take civil disagreement personally. Civilly discussing differing viewpoints builds community. I think you're taking people's comments as being against you, when they're not. When you're so clearly in one camp, it's easy to feel like those not totally with you are against you, but in reality those of us discussing are all one the same side: wanting to make the board a fun, safe place for us all to hang out. If we're talking it means we're invested, which is good. Take a break if emotions are running high, sure. But don't take a break because you feel like people are against you. No one is against you because we're not talking about you; we're only talking about the board and trying to figure things out. Plus, I'd be sad if you left.
So reading everything posted since my last long post, I feel like I should temper my last opinion with the fact that I really don't know TB now. I was last on in April 2014. There was organization, but it was mostly self-imposed, not handed down from TB. It was more what I was talking about before: a balance somewhere between rigidity and a free-for-all. I literally have no idea what other boards are like, and if ours is the weirdo of TB groups or not. I was only in May for about a week or two before I lost, and was just getting my bearings. So if TB itself is encouraging a very organized format in groups now, then that's probably what we should do. As some have pointed out, other boards are more permissive, and people who chafe at rigidity can find their community there.
Re: Weekend Randoms 11/25-11/26
Also, if you see Wonder, take tissues. I cried not even 10 minutes into it. Totally worth it though!
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
It may seem silly but it made perfect sense for me today. ❤️
Personally, I think there's gotta be a way to find middle ground between rigidity and a free-for-all. One-offs are obvious and annoying and easy to spot and I'm all for shutting them down, but I don't see the problem with regulars posting stuff that isn't necessarily in a thread. I can see threads that aren't very specific not seeming to encompass everything, and people wanting to start threads. I can also see the need for order, and directing people to the appropriate thread is great. And I see the point that order helps build community so it's not a free for all. I've also seen that too much order, to the point that people who ARE part of the community are afraid to start posts for fear of getting "pooh pooh-ed" as they've said, tears down community. The Bump is already a much more rigid and structured place than I knew it to be, which I get based on the Great Exodus, something had to be done. I think when we start self-policing when we don't have voted moderators (board moderators are no longer a thing, right?) it's a recipe for a few self-appointed moderators, vocal people, toeing the line and keeping everyone else in line. It ends up that they make the board what they want, to the detriment of everyone who are regulars being able to have free discourse. I'm not talking about anyone here specifically, we're too early for that. Just what I've seen happen on Facebook and stuff. Basically, I'd love to see a board that has order, but where regular people who contribute to the community of the board can also post without fearing backlash. To play devil's advocate, threads that go on for a long time, or have the same title and just change dates tend to develop their own mini-culture as the same people tend to hang out and respond in them. Sometimes you want to hear from the whole group, or people with fresh eyes, not just the few that tend to pop up in one thread. Not saying everyone needs their own thread for every question, just pointing that out.
Also, I think TB just doesn't work for me. Searches never work, and I have to rely on TB to remember the last place I read, and I just end up clicking when I see the yellow notification. Maybe it's because I'm 90% mobile, I don't know, but it's frustrating.
That's my thoughts.
I think a couple things. Why not poll? See what people think when it comes to starting special threads vs. posting in symptoms/randoms/questions. Maybe @lindsayleigh1989 and I are the a-holes!
I also think people are super excited right now, and later on we will post all encompassing threads about registries and products/labor and delivery advice/natural birth, vbac, csection mamas/ etc and it will get less cluttered. But I look at June 2018 and I see almost nothing but the threads listed in board organization. I can find the weeklies in there. And here, TTGP for 4 days ago is 1/3 of the way down page 2.
In summary...should we poll to find out if people prefer a less organized board with special topic threads so they can find their answers more easily, or would people prefer a organized board where they post ONLY in specific threads listed in board organization (which would, in my experience, allow for special topic threads if we all discussed it in randoms/questions/symptoms or something else and decided it was a general board need)? Maybe that would solve the problem for us of continuously kicking this back and fourth between 5 or 6 of us, lol.
Yes, my other boards get a little crowded but I think even crowded they are easier to navigate because I can easily find or skip threads. In this format I need to spend a lot of time reading a really long thread to find out what topics are in it.
Most of the one off posters don't contribute to the community and only log on TB to ask a single question and then never come back. Or they're trolls. Or they made a mistake, they are guided to the proper thread and they learn how to contribute to the community the way everyone else does.
Im not one to actually police but do appreciate those that do and try to keep some semblance of order. I’ll participate either way, but if I had to vote, doing things the TB way makes the most sense and certainly differentiates this board from all the other pregnancy “communities” out there.
The one off threads that are a problem are the are the ones that are using us as their own personal Google rather than, you know, Googling shit themselves. Building a community requires give and take and there will be some growing pains as we settle into a system.
in the do not care. I comment because that is what one does on internet message boards.
Anyone that thinks this BMB is too structured please look at all the BMB's that came before us. They're all organized the same exact way, and they work.
Lab Mom (x2): Sept/Oct 2014
Married: August 2015
DS: Nov 2016 (36w)
Baby H #2: July2018 (Team Pink!)
Happy to to participate in a vote!