She deserves spoiling. She’s been there when I’ve needed someone the most. *tw* She had the hardest job of delivering both my babies who passed, I owe her so much for the compassion and empathy she has shown me, end of *tw*
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
@bdesterhouse I love it. Even if they end up not being amazing for swaddling, it'd be great for newborn photos. And it's one of those things you'd really want, but wouldn't spend money on for yourself, you know? So the perfect gift!
Ok, I need it to be WTF Wednesday, because WTF?!?!?!
I went to a birthing center tour today because I need an OB and wanted to make sure I liked the place she could deliver before I committed. There were four other couples there, but oddly only one was a first timer. They were kind of odd, the dad kept making inappropriate comments under his breath to the wife (which I only caught because I was standing next to him at one point in the delivery room tour) and when we were doing introductions and were asked to share something unique about our partners, he said "well, something unique about her is she's the only one pregnant with my baby. That I know of! heh heh heh..."
Anyway, we were walking to our car after we were done. It was 4:30 pm. I look over across the parking lot and he's standing in front of the driver's side door of a pickup while he takes out an extra-large flask and takes a huge pull. His wife's already in the car and is yelling at him to get in. He gets in, takes another long pull, starts the car and speeds away before I can get close enough to yell at him.
"well, something unique about her is she's the only one pregnant with my baby. That I know of! heh heh heh..."
What a creep!
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@amylu914 It was great! It's still technically a hospital, so more monitoring than I'd ideally like (during the hour I spent in delivery last time the monitors and the position they made me stay in to use them were a special type of hell) but they're in the most hippie-dippie city outside of California, so they have a ton of considerations for moms in labor and really try to make the birth comfortable and exactly what you want. I'd looked into a midwife-run, freestanding birthing center nearby, because I know I'd get a totally intervention-free birth that way, but they make you go home 4 hours after giving birth, and I LOVED having two nights in the hospital to rest and sleep and not worry about food or dishes. With a toddler now, I want that bed without her wiggling in between us at 2 am more than ever. I think I'll still push to go home after only one night, just because of my toddler, but still. Four hours I feel would be pushing it.I figure it's a trade-off: more monitoring for more post-partum care. And they promise I can walk and move while being monitored, so it wont be like last time being strapped to a bed. HATED that.
Yesterday we just found out that we’re moving in the middle of June!
I hope my OB-GYN can make the move easier with transferring records and such...since I’ll be getting all of my care and tests in Kansas, but birthing in Alabama (unless kiddo is early, obviously).
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Oh @christycalifornia, it’s not *that* big of a change. He’s in the military and we move every one-four years.
The biggest pain is that we can expect to be living out of suitcases when the baby comes. This means that any baby gifts will be packed away in the same container as our household goods.
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@echocharlietango wow that is intense! You are doing it big this summer! You are military, correct? Assuming that's the reason for the somewhat sudden move.
@amylu914, it will be less intense than earlier this year! We lived out of suitcases for almost two months. We spent a week in Tokyo, then packed up our house in Arkansas. Flew to Vegas for a weekend, then flew back to Arkansas to pick up our cars. Then we drove immediately to Kansas City Missouri to an Airbnb to live in for two weeks until we could move into our (current) Kansas house.
It was bonkers.
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@echocharlietango GOT it! I didn't know you were and old hand at this. That certainly helps! I was thinking about our last move, and how we're still not totally settled a year later. Good on ya!
@christycalifornia, you know, practice makes perfect! We fully intend on raising a little road warrior/expert nomad
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@echocharlietango wow that's some intense moving! Sounds like you are being optimistic about it though-or maybe just resigned and totally know how to deal with it-either way!
I am only 2000 words away from being further on my novel for National Novel Writing Month than I have ever gotten, and with 12 days left! I might not "win" (reach 50k words) but I will beat my personal best, which is good!
ETA TL;DR: DH hurt his knee and we can’t do birthday gift aquarium day as planned. Feeling bad that I’m not making DS actual birthday ‘special’ - need to come up with a plan for the day.
Like I said before, DS’s first birthday party was yesterday. Today we had planned on going to our local aquarium as a family (as a birthday gift). That is being rescheduled to a weekend in December (I hope!) because my 36 year old husband decided to act like a full grown teenage boy on Friday night.
We are great friends with our neighbors and Friday he went up to have a bonfire with the husband and one of his friends who we’ve hung out with a few times. So just a guys thing. He said he would be back “in an hour tops” (10PM) because we haf to get up early Saturday for the party. He comes home at 2:30AM telling me about how he hurt his knee (that he has already had ACL surgery on twice) by jumping off a retaining wall after they scared our neighbor-friend’s teenage cousin when she was coming home for curfew. I was basically like... that’s stupid, and I don’t want to hear about it tomorrow when we are getting ready for this party.
Sure enough, he is limping around with an old knee brace on. He troopered through party day because he knew I wasn’t having it, but he has an appointment with the doctor who took care of it the previous two times and he just can’t do the aquarium.
So. I’m annoyed. But also... kind of glad we aren’t doing the aquarium because I am tired and just want to get out all of C’s new toys and let him play all day. I feel like we are skipping his birthday gift by doing it in a couple weeks, which is stupid, he is 1 and literally has no idea. Ugh. I feel like I need to make today, his actual birthday, special though.
Lab Mom (x2): Sept/Oct 2014 Married: August 2015 DS: Nov 2016 (36w) Baby H #2: July2018 (Team Pink!)
I need an honest opinion because I feel like you ladies still have a level head. I’m truly disappointed in my fb fertility group of pregnant women right now. *tw* One of the gals told the story of her sisters birth this last Sundayeak and how during pushing the doctor had to step out for five minutes due to an emergency. After he comes back and they are pushing again the doctor gets another call and a nurse answers, the nurses says what he is in the middle of delivering a baby. Apparently according to the sister having the baby, they could hear on the other end of the line that, that emergency he needed to go to before, the mothers baby had no heartbeat or movement. Baby had passed. The person sharing the story showed empathy and compassion, two ladies responded and went off about how unprofessional it was and how that would ruin their most special moment theyve been waiting forever for. End tw
im truly appalled that women who struggled with infertility especially and some know the heart break of losing babies. Others struggled even to get pregnant can be so mean to say that women’s emergency shouldnt be bothered with so it doesn’t ruin their own experience.
I dont know if its if it’s because I’ve been on both sides, if that’s why my heart breaks for this woman I don’t know.
Am I being unreasonable to be offended by these ladies who didn’t think this ladies emergency was reason enough for the doctor to leave for five minutes? In my mind I would think the doctor would have enough knowledge to know if it was appropriate to leave for five minutes or not during someone pushing.
I need to to know if I’m wrong or not?
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
@bdesterhouse *tw* I'm appalled at these women for you- I can't even imagine what that must feel like for you. You are not wrong, I don't have words. If I were in that mothers position in the moment of actively pushing, I would probably be upset the doctor left for an emergency. That would be purely me wanting to get the human being out of me... But to complain after the fact that it took away from your experience? I'm sorry, if a stillbirth isn't a good enough reason for an emergency, what is? You would think women who have struggled to get pregnant would be capable of a little compassion for someone who literally lost everything. */tw*
ETA I read that wrong- it wasn't even the woman in labor complaining!? That's even more selfish. Unbelievable.
@bdesterhouse they are absolutely out of line, and I have news for them, most doctors won't stick around for all the pushing, just the catching. First of all, my OB was on vacation when I went into labor. I pushed for 3 hours and the baby was basically stuck in my birth canal. Arrested dissention I think they called it. The on call doctor made his first appearance during my pushing phase when I started throwing a fit demanding a c section after the 3 hours. Was I mad? Not in the slightest.
Too many women go into their pregnancies expecting this perfect birthing experience and that their birthing plan will be followed to a T. And as a person who has struggled with IF, loss, and multiple IVF procedures, I am ashamed of those women for even thinking ill of a doctor who had to step out for a few minutes to help a woman on the WORST day of her life. Seriously, shame on them.
@bdesterhouse you are definitely valid in your feelings about those woman instead of hurting for the mom who lost her child choose to be so selfish and self serving. guess what the mom telling the story still had her baby and meeting her baby. ugh
@bdesterhouse I was going to write a whole thing, but @acunamatada literally said everything on my heart. Have these women been pregnant before? Literally my doc was called away to an emergency, so my baby was delivered by a stranger who was literally there for five minutes. Did it ruin anything? Heck no, because you know in that moment you just want help, and at the end I had a healthy baby. What else mattered? I'm sick reading about their selfishness. Seriously. I feel like on FB sometimes one person says the awful thing some others are thinking, then once enough people say it no one wants to contradict because you have a relationship with those people. But no, your perspective is the kind one. The human one. I'm so sorry.
Thank you ladies. I didn’t hold back in my conversation with them. It hurt, and sucked reading such ridiculousness. From ladies who you would think would only show compassion for all they struggled through. It makes me feel better to know I have a group of ladies here who know compassion and empathy.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
My best friend had her first born child Friday! A healthy baby boy! She had to be induced due to high blood pressure, but Friday was her due date anyway so none of us were too concerned. However after laboring 12 hours on pitocin, she stalled at 8-9cm and baby wouldn’t drop. She had to have a c-section. She was devastated, still is. I visited yesterday and she’s just having a hard time. She’s so swollen, her legs are so heavy she can’t lift them at all. I know she feels robbed of a vaginal birth, emotions and hormones are all over the place. I wish I could take her pain away, and she could understand this is all temporary and will soon be a memory. It’s hard watching her go through that.
@acunamatada thread deletion is rare, but closure vs deletion is at the whim of the Bump Gods. I assume they have some sort of system but I couldn't begin to guess what it is.
@djh513 I totally understand what you're feeling. First birthdays really are mainly for us, though. He'll have fun just being around you two and playing. Anything else is just extra.
My MIL to me last week: what can I bring for Thanksgiving? Me: Oh, appetizers and wine! MIL to me on Friday: Are you sure I can only bring appetizers? Why don't you let me do the mashed taters and squash? Me: Yeah sure that's great!
Today I discovered she really meant no appetizers, but sides. So she asked what to bring, then decided not to bring it and bring what she wanted. And now I have to go to the store again to buy appetizers.
@lindsayleigh1989, thank you. I wish I could take the pain away so she can move forward and bond with her son. Depression can hold us back so much. I don’t want her to miss these precious moments with him. ❤️
Re: Weekend Brain Dump (Randoms) 11/18-19
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
I went to a birthing center tour today because I need an OB and wanted to make sure I liked the place she could deliver before I committed. There were four other couples there, but oddly only one was a first timer. They were kind of odd, the dad kept making inappropriate comments under his breath to the wife (which I only caught because I was standing next to him at one point in the delivery room tour) and when we were doing introductions and were asked to share something unique about our partners, he said "well, something unique about her is she's the only one pregnant with my baby. That I know of! heh heh heh..."
Anyway, we were walking to our car after we were done. It was 4:30 pm. I look over across the parking lot and he's standing in front of the driver's side door of a pickup while he takes out an extra-large flask and takes a huge pull. His wife's already in the car and is yelling at him to get in. He gets in, takes another long pull, starts the car and speeds away before I can get close enough to yell at him.
Man, I wish that lady luck. Guy's a WINNER.
How was the birthing center?
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I hope my OB-GYN can make the move easier with transferring records and such...since I’ll be getting all of my care and tests in Kansas, but birthing in Alabama (unless kiddo is early, obviously).
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
The biggest pain is that we can expect to be living out of suitcases when the baby comes. This means that any baby gifts will be packed away in the same container as our household goods.
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
It was bonkers.
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
I am only 2000 words away from being further on my novel for National Novel Writing Month than I have ever gotten, and with 12 days left! I might not "win" (reach 50k words) but I will beat my personal best, which is good!
Like I said before, DS’s first birthday party was yesterday. Today we had planned on going to our local aquarium as a family (as a birthday gift). That is being rescheduled to a weekend in December (I hope!) because my 36 year old husband decided to act like a full grown teenage boy on Friday night.
We are great friends with our neighbors and Friday he went up to have a bonfire with the husband and one of his friends who we’ve hung out with a few times. So just a guys thing. He said he would be back “in an hour tops” (10PM) because we haf to get up early Saturday for the party. He comes home at 2:30AM telling me about how he hurt his knee (that he has already had ACL surgery on twice) by jumping off a retaining wall after they scared our neighbor-friend’s teenage cousin when she was coming home for curfew. I was basically like... that’s stupid, and I don’t want to hear about it tomorrow when we are getting ready for this party.
Sure enough, he is limping around with an old knee brace on. He troopered through party day because he knew I wasn’t having it, but he has an appointment with the doctor who took care of it the previous two times and he just can’t do the aquarium.
So. I’m annoyed. But also... kind of glad we aren’t doing the aquarium because I am tired and just want to get out all of C’s new toys and let him play all day. I feel like we are skipping his birthday gift by doing it in a couple weeks, which is stupid, he is 1 and literally has no idea. Ugh. I feel like I need to make today, his actual birthday, special though.
Lab Mom (x2): Sept/Oct 2014
Married: August 2015
DS: Nov 2016 (36w)
Baby H #2: July2018 (Team Pink!)
*tw*
One of the gals told the story of her sisters birth this last Sundayeak and how during pushing the doctor had to step out for five minutes due to an emergency. After he comes back and they are pushing again the doctor gets another call and a nurse answers, the nurses says what he is in the middle of delivering a baby. Apparently according to the sister having the baby, they could hear on the other end of the line that, that emergency he needed to go to before, the mothers baby had no heartbeat or movement. Baby had passed. The person sharing the story showed empathy and compassion, two ladies responded and went off about how unprofessional it was and how that would ruin their most special moment theyve been waiting forever for. End tw
im truly appalled that women who struggled with infertility especially and some know the heart break of losing babies. Others struggled even to get pregnant can be so mean to say that women’s emergency shouldnt be bothered with so it doesn’t ruin their own experience.
I dont know if its if it’s because I’ve been on both sides, if that’s why my heart breaks for this woman I don’t know.
Am I being unreasonable to be offended by these ladies who didn’t think this ladies emergency was reason enough for the doctor to leave for five minutes? In my mind I would think the doctor would have enough knowledge to know if it was appropriate to leave for five minutes or not during someone pushing.
I need to to know if I’m wrong or not?
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
I'm appalled at these women for you- I can't even imagine what that must feel like for you. You are not wrong, I don't have words.
If I were in that mothers position in the moment of actively pushing, I would probably be upset the doctor left for an emergency. That would be purely me wanting to get the human being out of me... But to complain after the fact that it took away from your experience? I'm sorry, if a stillbirth isn't a good enough reason for an emergency, what is?
You would think women who have struggled to get pregnant would be capable of a little compassion for someone who literally lost everything. */tw*
ETA I read that wrong- it wasn't even the woman in labor complaining!? That's even more selfish. Unbelievable.
Too many women go into their pregnancies expecting this perfect birthing experience and that their birthing plan will be followed to a T. And as a person who has struggled with IF, loss, and multiple IVF procedures, I am ashamed of those women for even thinking ill of a doctor who had to step out for a few minutes to help a woman on the WORST day of her life. Seriously, shame on them.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
@comealongponds yeah I thought it was weird they deleted that one off post from this morning, it wasn't even crazy
Today I discovered she really meant no appetizers, but sides. So she asked what to bring, then decided not to bring it and bring what she wanted. And now I have to go to the store again to buy appetizers.
@lindsayleigh1989, thank you. I wish I could take the pain away so she can move forward and bond with her son. Depression can hold us back so much. I don’t want her to miss these precious moments with him. ❤️