PGAL Check-In (Week of 11/15)

ashtuesday

This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.

How far along are you?

Any appointments coming up?

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

GTKY: What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again?

ashtuesday

(Didn't see a check-in for this week, so I figured I'd start one.  Sorry if that steps on anyone's toes!)

How far along are you? 24 weeks today!

Any appointments coming up? Glucose test on Tuesday.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  I'm happy and apprehensive to say I've been doing pretty well lately.  I keep mentioning it, but feeling her kick consistently is such a game-changer: it brings me comfort that I didn't expect to have at all in this pregnancy.  We're getting to the point where she's not just an ephemeral idea: my husband and I have been gutting our apartment to make space for her, writing a will to make sure she's provided for, buying things she'll need - there's tangible evidence of her in our day-to-day life.  Now we just can't wait for it to be March!

GTKY: What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again?  Rabbit, Run.  It's a book I read over and over, but nothing really compares to the first go!

leilaquinn

How far along are you?

24 weeks and 4 days

Any appointments coming up?

I have an OB appointment this coming Monday, I just very much failed my 1 hour glucose test, my OB called me last night and said it was 1 point under the cut off for skipping the 3 hour and just diagnosing, so she is having me do the 3 hour on Tuesday, but said if my fasting number is over some point when I get there they will just make the diagnosis official and waive the rest of the test. this isn't a big surprise, I took the test early because my last urine sample showed elevated glucose, I am 35 with a BMI of 30 and a family history of diabetes, but I am still sad about it.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I have moments of feeling a little broken and defeated, I now have gestational hypertension that is causing them to tell me to take it as easy as possible and then the recommendation for GD is to exercise. But I am so happy to be pregnant that my mood continues to surprise me with how not shitty it is. I am feeling pretty anxious about the idea of my baby growing too big because of something wrong with me.

GTKY: What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again?
Harry Potter.

senora76

How far along are you? 20+5

Any appointments coming up? Makena shot this morning and OB on Monday

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) Mars' 1st birthday was yesterday and it was incredibly sad for us. His first birthday was not at all how we anticipated. We did what we could to celebrate and reminisce watched videos and cried and cried and cried.  Fortunately for us all we are leaving for Barcelona on Wednesday... we all need this trip so badly...DH is homesick and to be honest, I really need his family right now too. First trip to Spain for my older sons too

GTKY: What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again? Reading I'm with the Band by Pamela Des Barres

good luck @leilaquinn with your GD testing and care... hope it goes smoothly.

thanks @ashtuesday for starting the check in!

BrittnieMariee

How far along are you?
25 weeks today! 

Any appointments coming up?
I have an appointment with my endocrinologist on Tuesday. Kind of looking forward to it because I’ve been kicking GD’s butt lately!!

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I’m doing well! Feeling mostly good, except for the massive amount of pressure from how big my uterus is now. I don’t remember it being this bad with my son! Also, peeing all the time already, ughhh. But still loving all of the kicks and rolls from this little girl!

GTKY: What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again?
Harry Potter. All of it. The books and the movies. That series has had such an impact on my life!

chasingroygbiv

How far along are you?

26+3

Any appointments coming up?

Next up is 28 week check up+glucose drink. Yay.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

Doing well. Pelvic pain is pretty wild come about 5 pm and heartburn is still there. Oh and hemorrhoids are here. Yahoo. Feeling little knees and elbows, always a favorite feeling of mine! Strange, but neat. Saw baby on u/s on Monday and either sassy like sister and keeps hiding from us at every ultrasound OR is just chill and too relaxed to look like brother. Be fun to find out! I am nervous about various things on a daily basis. Sometimes I can’t quite pinpoint it, but I’ve woken up twice now in the last 2 weeks having a panic attack. Ugh! 

GTKY: What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again?
Maroon V concert. So much fun and we were right up against the walkway/stage! I got awesome pictures. 

syssa-o

Totally didn’t answer all of the q’s this week! I’m lazy! On my way to a placental ultrasound this morning. 

Anyway, have y’all noticed people (that know about losses) being super nervous around/ to you? I’m super open and I talk about Leah at least once a day sometimes just to H, sometimes she comes up naturally in conversation and omg people look sooo nervous or uncomfortable and it’s like the conversation just ends. Sooo awkward. 

mdfarmchick

How far along are you? 25 weeks 

Any appointments coming up? Glucose test and regular OB a appointment the week after Thanksgiving. 

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  
I'm doing okay. We had our last visitors that we know of until after baby comes ((hopefully. MIL booked to fly in around the same time I think they would induce me for going over so I really hope this baby is a little early or on time.))
My anxiety has slowly been creeping back in and so I started back on the Zoloft ((I had to go off of it to take the nausea meds when I was throwing up 3-4 times a day)). My family is trying to go through my grandfather’s house this week and divide everything up, which is very stressful for them. It’s also stressful for me because I’m not there to look and pick what I want and my uncle just wants everything done and over with and sold. He keeps trying to say everything should either go with the house or go in a yard sale.
It’s also just hard because it still feels like he’s here. My two single aunts will be spending their first Thanksgiving alone without their dad because my other aunt insisted on hosting Thanksgiving and then is having it at her stepdaughter’s Thanksgiving Day ((my family isn’t invited)) and then is having dinner on Saturday or Sunday. It’s a whole clusterfuck and I have seen how upset both of them are and it just seems selfish and crappy. Overall, it doesn’t directly affect me. We started celebrating all holidays at our home after the disastrous first Christmas for DS. 

GTKY: What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again?  Disney World. I’m a huge Disney nerd and there’s just nothing like experiencing it for the first time. 

It it feels like we are missing so many ladies this week??

@ashtuesday Thanks for starting this. And I understand completely about the movement being more reassurance and making everything more real and tangible. 

@leilaquinn my understanding is that GD is just something that can happen—no one is more likely to have it than anyone else. And while you need to make some dietary changes and to try to exercise ((without overdoing it, like the hypertension suggests)), I don’t think you should feel like your body is failing you. I’m sending hugs your way and hoping and praying that you feel better today than yesterday.

@senora76 I know this is such a tough week and I pray that you find some healing and peace on your trip next week.

@BrittnieMariee I’m so glad to see a good week! I love that you are so positive about how you are doing with the GD. Baby kicks and movements are just the best. 

@chasingroygbiv I am so bummed that you already have to deal with hemorrhoids. I’m terrified of them! The KT tape has vastly improved my pelvic discomfort so I don’t know if you want to try it, but it’s been so much better with the tape. Also, I’m jealous of your Maroon V concert! That sounds amazing!

@syssa-o yes. I think it’s really hard for people to know what to say and none of us want to cause someone else pain. My bff for years would just interject into conversation that she lost her mom at 16 and no one knew what to do or say. It’s an unimaginable loss for anyone who hasn’t experienced it, and I think we are afraid to say the wrong thing? But it hurts the person grieving when they feel like they can’t talk about it as well. Hugs.

leilaquinn

@mdfarmchick thanks, I am feeling better today. I know it can happen to anyone, and I don't blame myself for being older or having a family history of diabetes, but knowing that my BMI could have been a contributing factor gives me little twinges of, maybe if I had had less pizza and beer over the years things would be different? But the truth is this weight was gained suddenly and with no real lifestyle changes due to a pretty severe thyroid issue. When it was diagnosed and I started treatment I lost 22 pounds in 3 months, and then got pregnant, so even that wasn't totally in my control. I am a guilt prone person, I feel like the hypertension is my fault somehow even though I have had very low blood pressure my whole life and this is clearly just a pregnancy anomaly.

bb3vj3n

How far along are you?

23+2

Any appointments coming up?
Had an OB appointment today. Have to book my glucose test (super nervous about this) shortly.  Also - doc told me that it was discovered in my last US that my placenta is very near my cervix. They seemed confident that there was plenty of time that this child still resolve itself - but if it doesn't, ill need to have a C- Section (majorly bummed about this). I've also been told ZERO sex for the time being.... not that we've been super active anyways.... but still.  Lastly, apparently they didn't get a good picture of 1/4 heart chambers - so they want new ones. Basically - I'll be having another US in a few weeks.  Part of me is nervous - but I'm trying to focus on the positive (I get to see my little girl again sooner than expected)!

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I'm alright.. my cold is FINALLY subsiding after a miserable 3 weeks.  i also only gained 5 lbs between my last OB appointment and this one which is a HUUUUGE improvement over the 13 lbs i gained at the appointment before that. I've been trying to be more conscious of what I'm eating ... so I feel really great about that!

GTKY: What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again?

hmmm... tough question! I don't think any! I have loved experiencing so many moments...i can't imagine erasing any of them. even if it meant getting to experience it again  

bb3vj3n

also had anyone heard from @justkeeptrying this week? she usually starts this thread promptly and not only did she not post it this week...i haven't seen her on any boards (including this one)
... unusual for her

mdfarmchick

Yeah, @bb3vj3n I was wondering where @justkeeptrying was too but I haven’t been on as much due to being out of town/family being in town. Are there are bump glitches kicking people out again?

senora76

@syssa-o I notice people are really happy for us because of our recent tragedy but people are nervous asking about when im going to return to work this time and what ill do for daycare... since Mars took the nap he never woke up from at daycare... I wanted to ask you how you celebrate Leah's birthday. I thought of you on Mars' birthday and I wondered what other people in our circumstances do to celebrate.

@mdfarmchick thank you

@bb3vj3n my placenta is right by my cervix too - i had a full previa and was hopeful when I had my A/S it would be all clear like what happened with Mars but the MFM said mine is not a previa but very low now - he said I shouldn't need a c/s as its not completely covering it.  

where is @justkeeptrying ?

kalawa

@senora76 Sending so many hugs and thoughts to you this week. I hope your trip with your family is relaxing, and wonderful!

As for @justkeeptrying I hope everything is ok! I read her ticker change post Monday, and it said something about her MIL being sick. So hopefully all is well and she is just busy.

ETA my answers...

How far along are you?

24w2d

Any appointments coming up?

Tuesday I have a MW appt. And next Monday I have, hopefully, the last US with the MFM. 

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) Doing well finally. My anxiety is a little crazy because I feel overwhelmed with having to transition my youngest to a toddler bed, in my oldest's room before baby. And then get her set up...gaaaahhh.

GTKY: What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again?
Hhmmmm Rascal Flatts concert. It was on my bucket list, and me and my best friend finally got to see them last April. 

BrittnieMariee

@mdfarmchick thank you! I’ve been working so hard to get my GD under control this time. I was diagnosed at 8 weeks this time and we’ve been changing my meds and doses every week trying to get my fasting levels where they need to be. For the past 2 weeks my numbers have all been wonderful!! 
And seriously the kicks and rolls make me feel so much better. I do still get nervous when she doesn’t move much but usually once I sit down and drink something cold she starts moving around 
So sorry everyone is being so selfish about the holidays! We’re hosting everything at our house this year so that we don’t have to drag DS around the county again. The past 2 years have been so hectic and awful and I feel like this is gonna make our lives so much easier!

ashtuesday

@leilaquinn Good luck with your GD testing on Tuesday!  Don't beat yourself up over weight-related worries, especially with your thyroid condition.  I have a form of hypothyroidism myself, and the reality is that when your hormones are out of whack, there's only so much you can control!

@senora76 I can't imagine how hard Mars's birthday must have been for you and your family.  Thinking of you all and wishing you every positive thought and reality 

@mdfarmchick I'm so sorry about the loss of your grandfather, and I'm sorry it sounds like there's so much chaos now.  None of that is easy, especially around the holidays.

@bb3vj3n At my 16-week ultrasound, I was diagnosed with full placenta previa.  I was told to do nothing strenuous and have no sex (and yes, that part was excruciating!).  I spent a lot of time worrying about the possibility of a c-section, but at my 20-week appointment, everything was cleared up!  So try not to stress too much yet - it definitely could all resolve itself!

And I hope all is okay with @justkeeptrying ! 

syssa-o

@senora76 I hope you are doing okay, sending love your way. 

Our celebration is is a little... different lol. Shortly after she died, we agreed we wanted to do something, but not s funeral because I hate funerals. And a lot of people kept trying to make monetary donations etc so we decided we would host a ball hockey game and have food, drinks etc and all proceeds would be donated to SickKids hospital. This year it got prettty big (we had about 150-175 people) and we had a full 4 team hockey tournament, bouncy castle, face painting, DJ and a huge silent auction that multiple businesses donated products to. We held it as her birthday party and donated $2200 to the hospital. We called the event Love4Leah we had t shirts, silicone bracelets and temporary tattoos made  

chasingroygbiv

@syssa-o Awwww.  I bet Leah was so proud of that celebration all for her.

mdfarmchick

@syssa-o that is absolutely beautiful! I love it. 

senora76

@syssa-o i am blown away by your strength. absolutely blown away. Those photos are adorable. To have the strength to do something positive at that magnitude is absolutely angelic I don’t even have any words to say. Wow. That is an amazing way to honor your daughter and pay it forward. I am having a hard enough time going out of my house...!  You are amazing.

Edited- I showed my husband your post and photos and he said “that is next level” We are just amazed. Your Mom/Dad tee shirts are so touching to us.

justkeeptrying

Hi ladies!!! Sorry I've been absent this week. Thank you for checking in on me. 

My MIL was in the hospital for a few days and the aftermath of that has been tying up all of my spare time. I'm desperately trying to catch up on the bump now, but it's so hard when you miss a few days!!! My MIL is home and doing well but there are a number don concerns we are still dealing with which is strasing me out!!!

Thank you @ashtuesday for getting this thread up and running in my absence!!

How far along are you? 22 weeks today

Any appointments coming up? Not for a couple more weeks!

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): Stressed! But thankfully not baby related. Long and short is my MIL was hospitalized this week and we found out she and my FIL have been keeping a lot of information from me and DH. Such as she's been having multiple blackouts (several while driving) and my FIL has found her unconscious at home. So we are obviously concerned. AND she watches our 2 year old a few days a month when I work. We are really hurt that she didn't tell us this was happening and it could have happened while she was watching our son or even while she was driving with him. So now we are trying to deal with this and she's mad that we don't want her watching him until we know she's medically cleared. Drama drama drama! 

GTKY: What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again? Ooh tricky. I am a musical theatre fan. Seeing Wicked in New York as amazing. It's the first time in my life I wasn't truly speechless. I'd love to have that experience again. 

mdfarmchick

@justkeeptrying that sounds so stressful but I’m so glad you are doing well! Hopefully you can get things sorted out soon and figure out what’s going on. Thinking of you guys. 

ashtuesday

Welcome back, @justkeeptrying!  It sounds like things have been super scary and chaotic, but I hope all keeps improving!

senora76

Welcome back @justkeeptrying !  Glad you are okay!  Sorry you've had a stressful few weeks!!!

Had my appt today - I have gained TWENTY POUNDS... and it's especially embarassing for me since they weigh me in KG at my dr and MY EUROPEAN HUSBAND KNOWS HOW MUCH I WEIGH BEFORE I DO!!!  After everything we've been through, my vanity truly is really out the window on this one... but I'm really going to have to work hard at getting back to a healthy BMI after this pregnancy... I gained 65 in my first, and I don't want to do that again!!!

I also just found out I'm going to Orlando for business a few days after we get back from Spain... Does anyone live in Zika territory? My dr told me today that I should wear DEET repellant when I'm there... does anyone have a good repellent they feel safe using?

justkeeptrying

@senora76, if it helps, I've gained 22.5lbs (excuse me while I go sob)

bb3vj3n

guys.... I've gained 29 !!!

senora76

Awww ok so I‘m not alone- My natural cycles app is like you should have gained 11lbs by now...yeah right! 

With Zane I gained 65, with Vance 30, with Mars 25 and here I am 21 weeks in at already 20... and I’m hungry all the time!!!!

justkeeptrying

@senora76, oh I hear you! With my son I gained 70lbs and I do NOT want to do that again. I'm 22 weeks and up 22lbs. Trying really hard to watch what I'm eating, but I love food!!! And this baby is always hungry!!!! I've been trying to meal plan with weight watchers recipes. Not that I'm counting points right now, but at least then I know they're healthier options. 

ashtuesday

@bb3vj3n Just got back from a doctor's appointment, and I'm officially at the 29-pound mark with you!  I'm at a loss because I know I've actually been eating better (albeit more - but within reason!) than usual, and although I don't work out regularly, I live in New York City and walk at least 30 minutes a day as part of my usual commute.  Probably for me, it's that I'm eating more carbs than usual.  So time to watch that and set aside some treadmill time each night.

bb3vj3n

@ashtuesday ....i feel ya
 I'm actually quite disappointed in myself.  I am doing slightly better.  I only gained 5 lbs in the last 4 weeks. it was that first tri and early second that really blew it for me