Flame Free Friday Confessions (FFFC

stillcozy

Not always Flame Free

stillcozy

I snapped at my kiddo this morning. she wouldnt stop pulling my hair. i feel bad but dang it hurt and she wouldnt stop with "lets be gentle" 

zande2016

Confession: I'm home "sick" today, but I'm not sick. I just have 3 sick days to use by January 1st and didn't want them to go to waste. Also, I sent my son to daycare even though I'm not sick. Today is going to be a good day.

edit bc the bump ate half my post.

hillbillywife

I ate a snickerdoodle for breakfast. Well- it was actually eaten after a yogurt and before Canadian bacon but it was a part of breakfast. 

bdesterhouse

If the Flame Free Friday Confessions aren't truly flame free, then why call the subject line flame free in the first place? Why not just call it Friday confessions? It's an oxymoron to call it one thing but it's truly not it. My confession today is, I think it's stupid to call it Flame Free Friday Confessions if it's not truly flame free. 

stillcozy

@hillbillywife that is some absolute winning!

christycalifornia

Why does Sponge Bob have a dildo on his head?

acunamatada

DH brought cupcakes home from work late last night. I may have hidden them from DS when he woke up this morning and eaten one while I was blow drying my hair. 

And then we had donuts for breakfast. I'm thinking cake for dinner. 

stillcozy

@christycalifornia i just spit out my juice!! haha! 

stillcozy

here is another one. I dont understand gender disappointment like true deep disappointment. 

acunamatada

lindsayleigh1989 said:

here is another one. I dont understand gender disappointment like true deep disappointment. 

This! I don't get it! I work in a women's shelter, a girl last week went back to live with her abuser because she found out her baby was a boy and "didn't care anymore." It's a slap in the face to anyone struggling to have children. 

stillcozy

@acunamatada exactly! I mean would it be nice to have a boy this time? sure! would I be disappointed? no way! I think you can feel sad for an hour than get over it and grt excited for the child you are having 

christycalifornia

@lindsayleigh1989 @acunamatada I don't get it in that truly deep way, either, but I also don't think it's healthy for people to put expectations or limitations on what others feel. I don't know what other people have been through, I can't walk in their shoes to know what got them to a place of feeling sad at the sex of their child. If it's superficial disappointment based on shallow reasons, sure, shake it off. But I would assume anyone feeling deep disappointment at the sex of a baby, something perfect and innocent and completely out of their control, is projecting some pretty deep past or present hurts to put that on a baby. I was legitimately worried that if my first ended up being a boy I'd have trouble bonding with it; that's due to a lot of brokenness in my past, and never being around boys in a meaningful way for a lot of my life, so they were an unknown to me. I got help for it, and made my peace before she was born, and obviously it was a moot point. But it was real, and it was there for a time. One of my best friends had a similar experience only she found out she was having a son, and when she expressed the tiniest bit of disappointment she got shamed for it, when really she just needed space to talk and grieve over lost expectations so she could move on to embrace the little life that was her son. And now he's her whole world. So I get it, but I also don't, but I feel like because I don't get it I can't judge it. In my experience it's easiest to judge the things I don't struggle with or haven't experienced personally. So I think it's best to try and be kind, and let people feel what they need to feel, until they don't need to anymore. 

But if they're a whiny, entitled, spoiled brat about it, then yeah, no.

stillcozy

@christycalifornia I completely get your point of view my point is based on the shallow superficial posts ive seen on WTE and on here in the past. for example a mom saying she "only wanted a girl because she wanted to dress her up and wear matching outfits" etc. 

bdesterhouse

I'll put it out there. I will be sad if we have another boy. I have a room that has been completely ready for a girl since 2015. The room is exactly as it was when we learned our daughter passed. It's something my husband and I have discussed and he knows it's a true issue for me. It's not a superficial thing, it's an emotional problem that I still need to deal with. It's something we've discussed me going to therapy for.  It's a moot point right now because we obviously don't know what baby is. I know in my heart that once I see the baby I will love them as much as I love their older brother regardless of their gender or sex. They are my child. There are countless reasons people go through gender/sex disappointment. My mom was terrified to have a boy when she was pregnant with me due to what happened in her past. She ended up favoring my younger brother growing up. 

christycalifornia

My confession: I mentioned in another thread that we're in a tighter financial spot than is comfortable right now. We just had some really bad news yesterday about yet another large, ongoing expense that we may be burdened with for up to a year. Today's my birthday and I'd already told The Man not to get me a present to save money, but now I'm feeling really guilty because we had to cancel what little plans we had to make it through the week and I'm just so disappointed. It's such a first world problem and I feel like I should be focused on the good, but I just get so bummed when I have to cancel things I was looking forward to. I feel like an ungrateful baby, who should just suck it up and enjoy that I'm having a cake with my husband and daughter tonight, but instead I'm sitting in my car crying and feeling sorry for myself. FWP, Party of one, please. 

acunamatada

@christycalifornia that was beautiful and really well put. Most of the people with really true deep seeded disappointment probably have real reasons behind it that I would never understand. 
Its the petty stuff that I just can't get behind. 
I personally would love a girl and would prefer one, but I'm also coming around to the idea of being a boy mom. DH has all brothers so I wouldn't be surprised. 

danrud36

It's my husbands birthday and I haven't even gotten him a card

danrud36

I'm so sorry mama. Today is my husband a birthday and were in a similar position. I won't really be abme to get him more than a card. Not to mention we both work all night.

christycalifornia

@lindsayleigh1989 I get that. I've seen those moms, too. Or moms who say they don't want a girl because they're hard as teenagers. Um, what??? That one makes me see red. 

christycalifornia

@danrud36 It sucks. I'm sorry you're there, too. Happy birthday to him, still! I feel ya, this is probably just as hard on my husband as on me, I know he feels badly.  

acunamatada

@christycalifornia both sexes have their struggles! This is totally unrealistic but I was/am worried about my screwing up DS and having him grow up to be some sort of sexual deviant or serial killer. I watch too much true crime. 

danrud36

@christycalifornia we have just been hit with some really shitty bad luck lately. We moved into a bigger place while we wait to buy a house and brought my mom along. She got upset and decided to move out leaving us with a 1350$ rent to pay and all the bills. We are literally just making it with absolutly no extra money

stillcozy

@christycalifornia i hope you have a good birthday! that has been us the last few years. its hard hope he surprises you in a
small way! 

christycalifornia

@bdesterhouse Hugs, honey honey. I can't gif for some reason, but I'm sending you a Joey and Chandler hug.

stillcozy

@bdesterhouse im so sorry for your loss. I definitely understand your feelings. my comment was purely towards the superficial reasons, not true and deep feelings like yours. 

christycalifornia

@danrud36 Um, that's really weird. Like, literally that's exactly what happened to us. We bought instead of rented, but that same situation is what started off this whole year of cost and debt. I'm having a serious twilight zone moment. Also, I'm so sorry. If it went down anything like mine did, that must have been a tough break. 

stillcozy

@danrud36 that sucks so much! im sorry! 

christycalifornia

acunamatada said:

@christycalifornia both sexes have their struggles! This is totally unrealistic but I was/am worried about my screwing up DS and having him grow up to be some sort of sexual deviant or serial killer. I watch too much true crime. 

Liking because you made me laugh!! He's gonna be great; he has you for a mom! That was seriously funny, though.

acunamatada

@bdesterhouse I hope you didn't take offense to anything I said, I did not mean any harm. I can't say that I understand what you're going through because I haven't been there myself and I couldn't imagine. But thank you for sharing your story. Sincerely. 

bdesterhouse

No offense was taken by the opinion, because the superficial reasons for wanting a girl or boy is messed up. I just wanted people to realize that it's not always superficial reasons that people would like to have a girl vs boy or  vise versa. 

danrud36

@christycalifornia I would guess it prob dud. I truly didn't think we could afford it on our own. But we are. Somehow. We're both working 7 days a week now but I just keep trying to tell myself that it is temporary and we will be in a better place. Judt trying to work up the nerve to talk to our landlord. Our lease states that we would he responsible for any back rent until she found someone if we broke our lease but were hoping to ask her to look for someone now and then we will move out when she does. She is a very wonderful Christian lady not to mention i don't want to have to move when I'm 9 freaking months pregnant

christycalifornia

@danrud36 ooh, I'll cross fingers and pray that conversation goes well! I'd hope with enough notice shed be willing to help you all out. And yeah, no. Moving 9 months pregnant....I mean you do what you gotta do, but avoid that if possible!

christycalifornia

bdesterhouse said:

No offense was taken by the opinion, because the superficial reasons for wanting a girl or boy is messed up. I just wanted people to realize that it's not always superficial reasons that people would like to have a girl vs boy or  vise versa. 

I'd wager some superficial reasons may be hiding deeper ones, and maybe people don't feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with how they feel. But I'll agree for sure the silly reasons like playing dress up or what have you when they're expressed that way make me roll my eyes. 

stillcozy

@danrud36 moving at 9 months pregnant sounds like hell! 

danrud36

lindsayleigh1989 said:

@danrud36 moving at 9 months pregnant sounds like hell! 

Yes...yea it does

indulgentgypsy

@christycalifornia
Happy Birthday fellow Scorpio!
My 40th Birthday and 11th Wedding Anniversary is next Friday and I will be traveling with the volleyball team I coach. Even if I wasn't traveling my hubby would not be getting me a gift. We have not had the money for gifts for each other really forever. I coach volleyball for the extra bump in my check I get December 1st and it will pay for Christmas for my boys. 

FFFC: I keep hoping my hubby will go to bed early so I don't have to fool around. I have no libido and no energy with the extra progesterone and ********TW  previous losses I just don't feel comfortable having sex in the 1st trimester. ***********

acunamatada

@AKFarmerBecky saaaame with the libido, but DH usually has a lower drive than me anyways. Pregnancy in general is usually a pretty dry time for us. Like, Sahara Desert dry. 


AND HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY @christycalifornia!!! EAT ALL THE CAKE 

karasmile

Tomorrow is my birthday and first wedding anniversary and we’re also tighter than expected. Had to drain savings for a home repair that couldn’t have come at a worse time. @christycalifornia
Hubs figured out a sleepover for the kids so we could have dinner and private time at home, but I still got him a small gift. And I know I’m going to feel disappointed if the gesture isn’t reciprocated. 

karasmile

Also, I’m going to make 2 cakes so I don’t have to share my favorite one with hubs or the kiddos. No shame. 

christycalifornia

Thanks @AKFarmerBecky and @acunamatada!

@karasmile Girl, you go on with your two cakes! No shame in your game!