FFFC* - 10/6

mdcd44127

*not guaranteed to be flame free.

Let's hear it ladies!

flowerpower5838

My kid has watched entirely too much TV throughout this pregnancy. I am aware of it and not going to do anything about it. I'm sure it's going to continue post new baby as well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Marley629

Ditto @flowerpower5838 that's the only way we survived. 

MJDsquared

I have this relative who is obsessed with personalization mall for every occasion. She got us so much personalized crap for our wedding (one being the most hideous canvas that I don't display) and my mom told me the other day she was hounding her about the baby name (which we're keeping secret). I am seriously doing an evil laugh over not having to get all that personalized stuff (though I can't be sure she won't buy something after birth).

skc040512

@flowerpower5838 DD was screen time free pre pregnancy. Yesterday, she watched 2.5 hours of veggie tales...

elcd458

Not sure if this is a FFFC or an UO. But.

I think anyone who makes it to near-birth or L&D and claims they didn't know they are/were pregnant is FULL OF CRAP.

Listen. I have had like an 80% symptom-free pregnancy. I have the dreaded anterior placenta. I am overweight. I had erratic periods in the past. And it is still PAINFULLY obvious to me every single day that something is not normal about my life right now.  But to be so dumb and so out of tune with your body that you can't put 2+2 together before the bulk of 40 weeks is up? No. I refuse to believe it. I think you know, and are just in denial and lying to yourself. Every time LO kicks me, I just think, "WTF do these women who don't realize they are pregnant think that feeling is?" They HAVE to know on some level. 

jlemons-2

I hate Game of Thrones. Hate it. I've never seen the show but I read every damn long book hoping it would get better and it went downhill the whole time. 

peachy13

@MJDsquared haha! We are keeping our name a secret too but it was because of unwanted opinions at first, now I'm even happier we're keeping it a secret because of unwanted personalized crap. Having something personalized when you were little was such a treat... it was only special gifts and whatnot. But now with Etsy and Pottery Barn and everything, you can get literally anything personalized and I think it's just overboard. My baby's washcloth doesn't need her name on it. I think this will also help steer people towards staying on the registry rather than getting too creative. 

Speaking of registry, my FFFC is that I'm totally stalking my registries. I'm paranoid about certain important things not being bought and want to be able to buy them myself before baby comes.

elev2017

@peachy13 I remember staring longingly at personalized toothbrushes and key chains in gift shops as a kid and NEVER finding my name on anything, so personalized stuff definitely was special, but I agree it's gotten to be a little overkill!

babybison

@jlemons-2 I felt that way about Outlander! I thought the show was done very well, but I couldn't get past the first book. Lord of the Rings, too. You can't just walk around for 300 pages and expect me to be invested.

babytimeagain

I may be in the minority here, but I love personalized gifts. My favorite gifts from the baby shower are the ones with LO's name or monogram on them. I'm so in love with her name, I love seeing it embroidered on things. But I completely agree that there's a such thing as overkill when it comes to personalization.

babytimeagain

Not sure if this is a FFFC or UO (or possible neither), but I am so glad that I found out the sex ahead of time. I had people tell me that it's better to wait to find out so that people actually buy things off your registry instead of just clothes (primarily if you're having a girl), but I didn't have that experience at all. I've actually been gifted very few clothes and plan to go out and do a little more shopping soon (mostly at Once Upon a Child- gently used clothing- because I'm cheap!). More importantly, I felt so much more bonded with baby girl once I knew the sex and could give her a name. 

MJDsquared

@hellothere47 I'm not monogram person and they aren't really a thing here (Pacific Northwest) but I do know others love them. And this woman seriously bought us, all complete with our names & wedding date: a throw pillow, that ugly canvas, a little handkerchief shaped like a dress on a tiny hanger (it had blue text so maybe she thought it could be my something blue? idk), and an ornament. Maybe also a nice cutting board (I can't be sure if that was her or someone else). The ornament and the cutting board were nice. The rest...wow. Haha.

I agree that finding out the sex helped me connect, and I think that you could say it's a surprise no matter when you find out (you're either surprised at your ultrasound or surprised at birth). But I think if someone prefers to wait until birth that's also great and everyone should go with their preference! (In other words, no side-eye from me to anyone, whether you did NIPT and found out, found out at an U/S or are team green!)

whiska

hellothere47 said:

Not sure if this is a FFFC or UO (or possible neither), but I am so glad that I found out the sex ahead of time. I had people tell me that it's better to wait to find out so that people actually buy things off your registry instead of just clothes (primarily if you're having a girl)
snip

Team green here and I have laughed in the face of people who told me that waiting is "better" or "how it should be".  That's not how this works and it's not a competition.  Finding out via NIPT, or at a boutique, or the anatomy scan, or waiting until delivery all have their pros and cons, and those are going to be weighted differently for each woman/couple. For me it's just another preference, like deciding between disposables or cloth or between a bassinet or pack n play.  

rainbowdashh

My MIL told me with my first that finding out was like ruining Christmas  Thanks, lady. I maintain that it's a surprise no matter when you find out. It was a surprise when they called and told me it was a boy over the phone because I didn't know what baby was! SIL is waiting to find out which is totally fine, but MIL is so smug about it.

breezybee

@MJDsquared those gifts sound hideous - haha I'm so sorry.  I'm also on the no monogrammed items train. I think it's more of a southern thing. 

mdcd44127

@elcd458 I'm with you! I have a coworker who talks about how her cousin "didn't know" she was pregnant until month 7... and this was her 4th child! I don't buy it for a second. This is my first baby, and like you I'm not highly symptomatic (no morning sickness, no swelling, anterior placenta, etc) and still I truly don't understand how you could "not notice" for that long. I agree that there has to be some seriously strong denial in play (or they're just lying their faces off for whatever reason).

@leilagphillips I'm with you on longing for & never finding personalized stuff as a kid! I think if this baby had been a girl I'd be getting a lot of personalized stuff because I loved the girl name we had picked out, but for our boy I just don't think it's necessary.

@hellothere47 I find it funny that you've heard people say it's better to wait to find out, because I've heard so much of the opposite of that ("better to find out right away, waiting is silly")... I feel like no matter what you do, there's someone out there who will tell you you're wrong.

Kirss

A friend of our just had a baby. I get they are excited but please for the love of God don’t post the picture where the baby is covered in vernix caseosa. That’s gross. I couldn’t even type “congrats, she’s beautiful” because of it. I’m so happy he texted me another picture. 

kyrwyn

@Kirss I also prefer baby pictures that are post-cleanup and preferably past the point where they all look like tiny angry old men.  I am hoping to circulate pictures of LO that are after we've all gotten a little sleep and a meal (I'm sure there's FTM wishful thinking buried in that hope).  

God(s) help anyone who tries to send out pictures that include me immediately post-labor.  I'm not particularly photogenic when I haven't "run a marathon" or however labor is being described today.  

AFM: I had the mother of all breakdown days yesterday and DH had to bear the brunt of it, and I'm not even sorry because the emotional workload at our house is split so unevenly... but I also don't like being that person. =\  I'm mostly regretful that I got overwhelmed and couldn't handle my shit -- without being at all sorry for being upset for legit reasons.

elev2017

I personally wanted to find out the sexes of our babies because I didn't like the idea of other people (doctors, ultrasound techs, etc.) knowing when I didn't, but I have no idea why anyone else cares when you decide to find out. Oh, I'm sorry that this incredibly personal decision is an inconvenience to you... NOT!

Amber_Waves

Team Green here & it is definitely the best choice for DH & me, but I never know what to say when people tell me, "good for you!" Or "that's how it should be!"  Like, why did you even ask then?

I also have no idea what to say when my MIL freaks out about not knowing. Keep it to yourself, MIL!

Amber_Waves

@elcd458 The birth mother of my good friends' adopted child didn't know she was pregnant until she was 7 months.  She DID know something was up with her body, but had 3 negative pregnancy tests + IUD + IBS + overweight, pear-shaped body.  It was finally "diagnosed" during an exploratory ultrasound. Ahhhh....there's a baby in there!  It came as quite the surprise.

kyrwyn

The weirdest thing to me about knowing the baby's sex is that when people ask and I tell them, they then say "Congratulations."  They'd say that if I had answered the other way, too.  So why can't they just say "Congratulations" if you're team green?  It seems like a really easy and just as socially awkward/inappropriate as congratulating me on my child's chromosomal assortment.

balletnerd

I’m glad we announced the sex (even though we got tons of gender specific items) but we aren’t announcing a name. Though I think we finally picked a first name!!!! That can be our big “surprise” for the family- plus we don’t have to hear opinions or feel stuck if we see her and want to change the name.

elev2017

@amber_waves that's crazy! Was there a reason the pregnancy tests kept coming back as negative?

elcd458

I wanted to be team green. I really did.  My dad, for whatever random reason, was disappointed that we found out. BUT.  I was so, so, so, SO convinced LO was a girl from the very beginning that at that point the anatomy scan was just a formality.  In my heart of hearts I wouldn't have been surprised at all if we had waited, bc I just KNEW! Which is the kind of crazy thing that women used to tell me in the past and I would roll my eyes. But now... I get it.

Also, I don't mind monogrammed stuff and we are like 95% settled on a name, but I just don't feel like telling people.  I'm always surprised when people ask, I guess because that's not a question I ever think to ask other preggos?  Also lately all our friends are into the whole "I'd like to make you something for the nursery!" -- which is thoughtful, and some of it has been seriously precious. But we spent mucho dinero on some themed artwork a while back and if we use the "homemade decor" gifts, said theme is shot all to hell.  

failuretofly

@Kirss one of the pics I shared of me and DS after birth he was still covered in vernix. It is my favourite picture from birth because you can just see the pure joy on my face. 

I guess my FFFC is I purposely bought and applied waterproof make up for labor, and will again, even if solely so I am not mortified by myself in pictures later on. No crazy Smokey eye or lipstick, but foundation and mascara go a long way when you've been awake for 24+ hours.

ameliabedelia-2

My whole life is monogrammed.  I have so much stuff with our last initial or name. I love it all!!! 

My FFFC, I have 100% checked out of work. I have literally done nothing for 3 weeks. After a lot of soul searching and convos with DH, we decided I would go out on leave at 32 weeks even though it means a huge cut in our income. I also won't be returning after my leave, which means I will once again be back on the market (after 3 layoffs in the last 4 years).  BUT, I meet with my doctor Tuesday for the STD paperwork and hopefully that means I am done with this shit hole in less than a week!! 

babybison

I kind of wanted one of those gender reveal events but I don't like being the center of attention so the u/s tech put the answer in an envelope for DH, and he gave me a just-for-us gender reveal like an hour later. It felt really special. 

skc040512

@failuretofly I had to be induced, so I totally did my makeup about 15 minutes before leaving for the hospital. There's a picture of me, DH and DD about 30 minutes post birth (I think I had just delivered the afternoon and finished getting sewn up, and DD had just had a damp cloth bath). It's easily the best picture from those early days. 100% backing make-up face during delivery lol

MJDsquared

@failuretofly Yeah, I've decided that if I do go into labor naturally and at home, I'll probably take a shower and try to do a little bit of makeup at least before heading to the hospital. If I have a prescheduled date/time for any reason, I'll just ready myself before going in. I'm sure I'll still be a mess, but I'll feel a tiny bit better about myself (in pictures at least--I pretty much never wear makeup on weekends, but I'm super critical of pictures of myself without makeup).

elcd458

@failuretofly @Kirss I've heard a rumor around here that a local midwife likes to rub the vernix on mom's face after delivery.  I would die.

Our hospital is really really REALLY into delayed bathtime for some reason right now.  I know you want a little time for skin-to-skin and for baby to regulate body temp. But I'm worried they are gonna call CPS on me if I beg them to rinse that birth cheese off my kiddo after a couple hours.  I know it's not the same as baby actually being dirty dirty but it's not like she'll be sterile either! I mean, wouldn't have my appendix removed and then snuggle with it. 

Amber_Waves

@leilagphillips I don't know why the pregnancy tests were negative. It is one of like a billion questions that I have that are none of my business and yet very much something I want to know. Lol. the whole situation is wonderful and fascinating...the adoption is open and ALL the grandmas outdo themselves posting cute comments on every Facebook photo of the baby.
Also, the birth dad looks like the twin of the adoptive dad; the birth mom and adoptive mom have the same career and are both into S&M.  The woman that knows both sets of parents and introduced them is an executive by day and a pole dancer by night. It's a bizarro, hallmark movie of a story with a very happy ending.

elev2017

@Amber_Waves wowww... that kiddo is going to have an interesting life!

skc040512

My FFFC - there is a family that lives near my parents who apparently lost their Chihuahua recently and are offering $3500 reward for finding him. It is a 14 year old deaf dog with a whole list of ailments, and they've plastered the area with fliers. (I told DH we should go rescue a deaf male Chihuahua and pass it off because I'm terrible). Let's be real, the dog has either been killed by a coyote, hawk or car, or wandered off to go die in peace. Either way, it's dead.

I guess the confession part is that I think it's ridiculous to spend massive amounts of money on pets for "life saving measures", like this reward, or DH's aunt who spent $15,000 on chemo for her dog who lived (in pain) for an extra year, lost an eye from treatment, and then died of the same cancer they "treated". Think of your pet first and let them die in peace.

babytimeagain

@ameliabedelia-2 Congrats on almost being done with work! I'm seriously jealous right now. I hope wherever you land next is a much better experience. In the meantime, enjoy your time at home- you earned it! 

babytimeagain

@elcd458 She rubs the vernix on the mom's face?! Eeek! I would seriously lose my sh*t if my midwife did that to me after delivery! I'm sure she thinks she has her reasons, but still.

elvenchick92686

@Skcobb i am with you on this. My baby boy Oreo developed a tumor and we had a biopsy done to see if it was treatable and it could have been but at a hospital a state away and would cost over $10,000+ so we just kept him home and made sure he was loved. We buried him at a friends house to go visit. I understand that pets are like family but thats just to much money to spend and still know they feel miserable until the end for an even longer time. To me it just seems selfish to do that to an animal. 

My confession is that i HATE being pregnant. I feel like i should be extremely happy with it this time around since we lost our first two years ago, being almost 31 weeks this week which is when we lost our son hasn't helped, but i just hate it. Everyday gets more and more painful and im tired of sitting in the bath multiple times a day just to feel normal. Just over it Even though i know its better if she stays put till thanksgiving,I am selfish i just want her out and here so I can go back to normal. 

 SO and i got into a "statement battle" the other day cause i said i didnt mind struggling financially and i hated being pregnant and he said the exact opposite and went back and forth awhile. So, that being said, my extra confession is I will kill my SO if he says he enjoys me being pregnant one more time

failuretofly

@elcd458 the vernix absorbs into the babies skin like lotion within an hour or so! So don't worry haha

blueskies17

@Skcobb I am with you on not prolonging a pet's suffering if there is little chance of recovery. Though I wouldn't blink an eye over offering a substantial award to find a lost pet.

My FFFC is that I made sure that my pet rabbit is included in the will that we're currently drafting (who her caretaker would be + setting aside money for the caretaker so they have ample funds to take care of her). I love her to the moon and cannot stand the thought of her ending up in a shelter if something happened to us. 

balletnerd

My confession- I don’t love being preggo either. But it’s not because I’m uncomfortable or sick. I’ve been super healthy and fortunate. But I don’t love the kicks (still surprise me and annoy me when I try to sleep lol). And of course it limits many things I can do with my career as a dancer- like missing this whole season and probably the next while I get into shape etc.  (Which I chose going into this and is a sacrifice I’m willing to make) I never complain to anyone about being preggo because I know I’ve had it very easy and I can’t wait to meet LO, but yeah... it’s not my favorite. Haha