My UO is when you speak about gender disappointment like you just received a devastating medical diagnosis for your baby you sound genuinely detached from reality. I get being mildly bummed out, but come the eff on.
This isn't an UO but I'm on mo ile and can't find the WTF thread.
If one more person asks me "Can you safely have a VBAC at home?" I'm going to scream. I get and appreciate the concern, but what the question says is "Do you even care about the safety of your baby? Have you just come up with this idea based on nothing and idiocy?"
So my answer is...yes, go look it up. Home VBACs are safe and actually desirable in some circumstances, according to real medicine.
So maybe my UO is people need to do better with their "concern." Sorry, hormonal and sensitive and defensive.
@heatherdubrow I don't know you to be an invalidating person. I've seen you as supportive so my question is genuine: Are you saying people shouldn't feel or process gender disappointment?
I doubt that's what you're saying but genuinely asking. And if that's what you're saying, that's ok, too.
@barrelocarol no. As I said in my post I understand feeling bummed or disappointed. I don’t understand speaking as though it were a devastating loss. I simply can’t understand being devastated by a healthy baby. But maybe it’s truly an unpopular opinion.
@barrelocarol I don't think that is what @heatherdubrow is saying at all. I can't speak for her obviously but I feel like she was saying she didn't like it when people act like it's the end of the world when people find out they are not having their preferred gender, not they should not feel/process gender disappointment.
I am sorry to hear people are acting like tools and questioning your birth plan. They should mind their own business.
Me: 36 DH: 37 Married: 5.27.16 Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
My UO is that I truly believe natural consequences work far better in some situations. Such as, a child trying to climb something that they shouldn't. Doing it won't hurt them, but if they fall it may startle them. Instead of stopping them 3837 times...sometimes it's just best for them to learn the mistake.
My unpopular opinion today is that I wish people would focus more on the responses to bad things and the people there helping than the cause of the bad things. There are things that we will never understand the Why of, and that’s okay. But the bad and the negative sell more than the good. And that makes me sad.
I seem to always get sucked into this discussion - so I'll put my UO regarding it here. I'm fully prepared to get flamed :-)
While I agree that the cost of higher education is absolutely astronomical/unreasonable, I don't think it's a parent's responsibility to pay for their child's tuition. Especially if it comes at the detriment of retirement savings. I think kids are significantly better served having student loans and elderly parents who are on good footing financially (who can potentially leave them some sort of inheritance/property/whatever), than less/no student loans and having to support parents financially who raided their 401k (or whatever) to pay for college.
I'm not saying that if parents can reasonably afford it they shouldn't help, just that it shouldn't be their primary responsibility. I fully intend to help with college costs, but if they keep going at this rate, it's not going to cover it. FWIW my parents did something similar (to the best of their financial means- ie nowhere near the full cost of tuition).
I think the whole college system is completely screwed up but my views on that are a completely different UO.
@day38 My parents helped for as long as they had the extra money. Then I took out loans. It is what it is. My education was important so the loans had to happen. I don't know the difference in education costs between the USA and Canada, but in Canada it cost $4000 per semester for my professional degree, and I completely understand why my parent's couldn't pay for it all.
My UO is that I don’t believe right now is an appropriate time to be blowing Facebook up about the Vegas crisis being a conspiracy. There are so, so many family and friends hurting so terribly right now, I just cannot imagine how their hearts are breaking and then having to read SO much “it was this, it was that, what if, what if, what if?” Right now it’s just too soon to know anything. Let investigators do their jobs and allow family and friends to mourn. Families are asking why??? enough on their own. Let’s not add to it. I’ve yet to say anything on social media aside from sharing a post telling kids “it’s not supposed to be like this.”
@day38 i agree with you! My parents had me when they were older and by the time I was ready for college they had retirement not too far away. They helped out a little but I did take out loans as quite frankly they didn't have the money. I think being invested financially helped me personally value my education more. I can handle the loans and my parents have a comfortable retirement.
@day38 That would especially work if college was reasonably priced like it used to be so that taking out loans didn't mean students had 20+ years of debt to contend with when starting their careers. (Probably not a UO!)
I was a single mom going through my education, so my student loans are out of control. I worked full time/part time until I couldn't any longer and had to basically live off of them to finish my degree (in healthcare). Bc of this I don't want them to walk out of college with a boatload of student loans and I will bust my ass to prevent that. It's not that I don't agree that students should be responsible for some of the expense, it's really that I don't want them to struggle with student loan debt like I have. It does impact your debt/income ratio and made it harder for me to buy a house. Not to mention, the amount I will pay back over the length of the loan. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to complete my education with loans, but I don't want my kids to have this same burden.
@vflux33 That starts getting into my UO about how screwed up the entire system is.
I think college has become a "bubble" similar to how we had the tech bubble in the 90s and the housing bubble 10ish years ago. There is absolutely no reason for many jobs to require a 4 year degree as a starting point (you're not learning anything in college that actually helps with those jobs). Before a high school degree was a starting point to finding a job. Now, it's a 4 year degree. So, to do something more specialized and/or advanced you also need a graduate degree. A lot of these jobs, the annual salary is less than a year of tuition, which is mind boggling. Also, you finish all this education, you start your first job, and you know nothing about the actual work. I'm in a (somewhat) specialized field and my undergrad was at a business school. Yet, those 4 years which were more focused than an average undergrad degree didn't actually prepare me (or anyone I graduated with) for the work I was doing.
Also, I don't think college is for everyone and a lot of people/kids get pushed into it because it's what you "have" to do to be "successful." For example, there are plenty of people who like and are good at doing work with their hands - mechanics, electricians, plumbers, etc etc. They don't need a college degree and can be quite successful without one. I don't think there should be a stigma about not going to college.
Basically, while it'll never happen, I think college should get scaled back. There should be more apprenticeship type programs where you get actual experience in the work you're going to do. Jobs like executive assistants that don't actually require extra training shouldn't require a college degree as a starting point. I can keep ranting away, but at the end of the day if you stop funneling everyone into a 4 year degree the costs have to go down (more competition), and you have a good chance at making a decent living without 20+ years of student loans looming over you since you spend less time in the system.
@day38 As someone who used to teach in a 4 year university and very briefly in a 2 year community college, I 100% agree with you. I had a few students who got talked into going and their hearts were not in it, and many of them had such intense work and family obligations outside of school that they were completely unable to get their work done, which sucked because according to my guidelines I had to penalize them for that... put a low grade on their permanent record essentially for having real lives. I hated doing it. It was a big part of why I switched career paths. ... leading me to a second graduate degree program, which may not have been the best path for me. And don't even get me started on how many people I know who were basically forced into grad school because of the recession and are now "overqualified" for all the jobs of any interest to them.
@day38 I got accepted to a really nice culinary arts school that I ended up not going to because I got engaged and knew I would be moving. At the time, I just told people I would take a year off of college and start once I had settled down wherever we ended up living, all while in the back of my head, I just kept thinking "I don't even want to go to college." I love cooking. But I don't need a $50,000 degree to do that. I love event planning, but I don't need a degree to do that. I love interior design, but I don't need a degree to do that. But I felt SO MUCH PRESSURE to go that I was willing to put myself thousands of dollars in debt just so I didn't disappoint people. And honestly, my dream was always just to be a stay at home mom and maybe later down the road to own my own coffee shop. I love when I see people like you who agree that there's too much pressure on going to college because it makes me feel more validated in my decision.
My childrens college tuition will be paid for, so thankfully they'll never have to worry about that. But I do agree that parents should not feel like they HAVE to pay for all their child's tuition.
I think my UO today is that when two people get married, the money they make at their separate jobs (or the money from one job if someone is a stay at home spouse) is both of their money. I don't think a wife should feel like her husband is buying her something every time she goes grocery shopping just because he's the one making the money and not her. And I'm always a little confused when I see two people who are married but have seperate bank accounts.
It's too early for Christmas decorations and Christmas stuff. Drives me nuts. Let the other holidays have a CHANCE! Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, it's a great holiday for my family! But we need to not be putting Christmas stuff out towards the end of September.. for goodness sake.
@day38@ShawnnaO yes! College definitely is not for everyone. There are so many great opportunities that do not require a college degree and a lot of debt. I know when I graduated high school everyone felt like they needed to go to college as it was what you "should" do. Some of them did not go and are doing wonderfully without the debt that goes into the college degree.
In response to your other point @ShawnnaO I have a girl that I'm friends with on Facebook who will rave when her husband buys her anything. She is a stay-at-home mom with 4 kids while he works outside the home. She will reference "his hard-earned money" and how he spends it on her. It drives me crazy!
@day38 I agree that college has gotten out of control. I went for a year because I had scholarships to pay for everything but had no idea what I wanted to do and thought it would magically come to me. I ended up in beauty school and love what I was doing and glad I didn't push myself into something else. I think it's important for a student to have to pay for some part of their education so they have a vested intrest. I watched a lot of the students that my DH went to chiropractic school with not care because they weren't paying for any of it(which is crazy to me that parents had that much money saved.) a couple of them aren't even using their degree now. I am a new SAHM and hate it when mother moms say DH bought them stuff. My DH knows I work hard everyday to take care of kids, keep the house clean, and make sure dinner is made and everyone is happy. On the weekends he is tired by Sunday night and says he doesn't know how I do it and keep everything straight. I super hate separate bank accounts- my SIL keeps her money separate to spend on herself and my BILs money is to pay bills.
I'm a new SAHM and it's a process getting used to not having my own money honestly. My SO always says...please don't ask to buy groceries, it's your money too. But it's a hard adjustment. I do respect his money, and not frivolously spend though.
I’m also a new SAHM and the adjustment to “not having my own money” is a slow and rough one. My husband tells me not to worry about it and just spend and do what I need to do, but deep down I still feel like it is his.
My UO- I think that it is good for couples to have separate bank accounts. I’m all for one account for bills, but I like the separate accounts for frivolous spending. For me, I feel that it is freedom for however I want to spend my money without judgement and vice versa.
There are good arguments for and against paying for your kids' education. I paid my own way, and it totally sucked (Time out for a momentary celebration over the fact that I paid off my student loans last month after 15 years -- HOORAY). I'd like to help my kids so they don't have to struggle like I did, but I'm not sure how much we will be able to help them. I know for sure I am going to teach them better money management skills than I ever learned, so at least they can make better choices and make things a little less tumultuous along the way.
The real issue to me is the cost. It's just outrageous. And PP are right, it's nuts that people are going into decades of debt over degrees they won't need or will never use. And the answer isn't necessarily trade school either. I went to school for a specific trade/no degree, and holy hell was it also expensive. It paid off in the end and I have done very well for myself, but it certainly wasn't as cheap as "trade school" is made out to be.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
If you believe in conspiracy theories I automatically assume you are a bit of an idiot or a bit of an asshole. I had an old college friend that posted some 9/11 conspiracy theories and immediately defriended them.
Oh and I think there is nothing wrong with unfollowing people on FB who have views that I find unintelligent. I've heard a lot of people say you shouldn't do that because you put yourself in a bubble - but I don't live on FB. I use it to check up on peoples lives and share some funny/interesting articles. I'm aware people have different and even horrible opinions that I don't share. I don't need it plastered on my FB feed to know that.
On parents paying for college: I totally agree that it it not the parents' responsibility to foot the bill (especially for any school the kid gets into and wants to attend). I certainly appreciated the help the gave me, which wasn't much, and I think that the numbers the FAFSA barfs out as what parents "should" be contributing are insane. "If you were to just give up the luxury of food and heat and the dream of ever retiring, you should be able to contribute $45,000 a year towards your adult child's education. Enjoy!" My parents had a small fund for me that could have covered three years at the local state school if I lived at home, my grandma left each of the grandkids who existed when she passed a college fund (so my parents focused on making a matching fund for my younger sister), that I used to pay for a study abroad semester, and the rest was on me. It would have been a heck of a lot cheaper had I stayed at a state school but it was my choice and my expense to go to a private school. Each of us kids got close to the same amount and we could choose if we wanted to live at home and go to the local school and make it stretch or whatever.
H has a cousin who has a Masters who is now making probably a good $180,000/year on her own, plus her spouse's income. And yet she still hasn't taken over payments for all of the loans that her parents took on to put her through school and they both joke in that "I laugh to cover up that I want to cry" way about how they'll never retire. Uh, what?? I also had a coworker who married a woman from another country who had three children, none of whom were citizens. About a year or two after marrying her, oldest wants to go to college. Over the course of HS, she never did anything to ensure that she would be eligible for Federal aid. Nothing. Then the bill comes and coworker is madly raiding his 401k to cover her tuition. Sorry. I would have been lighting a fire under her tush through high school to get her ducks lined up and if it came down to 'just raid your 401k so I can go to school and no I don't want to even work 10-hours a week' I would have told her she'd have to miss that semester to get her paperwork in order and work. Not long after that he left his 401k statement on the printer and I saw it when I went to get my stuff. I was about 27 at the time. He was pushing 50. We had close to the same amount in our 401ks. It's nuts.
Plus, I think it's important for kids to have some skin in the game. I have every intention of, even if we can afford it, giving our kids the impression that they have a lot of responsibility here. Get the grades that will get and maintain a merit scholarship. Work. Go to class. At my second school, you could tell who was paying for it themselves and who wasn't. The ones who weren't were the ones always inviting the other kids to skip class and the other ones were saying, "Are you kidding? This place costs $X/day! I'm going to class."
@kalawa That has to be a weird transition. Just after getting married, I went through a couple months where I felt smothered and like my money suddenly wasn't mine and I couldn't spend anything without asking. And that was just me. Nothing H said. I hope it starts falling into a more comfortable groove soon.
My UO: I think it's super obnoxious and kind of inappropriate to listen to talk radio with a political leaning at work. I do not want to hear it. I don't want to be bombarded by it every time I go to the kitchen, thankyouverymuch. And, even if I couldn't hear it, I don't have any idea how you could concentrate on your job while listening. It's not like this is an assembly type job where muscle memory can take over.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I guess my UO is I really see no problem being in a social media bubble. I don't want to read a bunch of ignorant crap that will upset me, and if you're posting a bunch of ignorant crap that I find upsetting, then you're definitely someone I dont want having regular access to me or my family. Life as we know it is strange right now. We can have differing opinions on many things, but sometimes the topic is such that your opinions actually legitimately make you a crappy person that I dont want anything to do with.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
This isn't an UO but I'm on mo ile and can't find the WTF thread.
If one more person asks me "Can you safely have a VBAC at home?" I'm going to scream. I get and appreciate the concern, but what the question says is "Do you even care about the safety of your baby? Have you just come up with this idea based on nothing and idiocy?"
So my answer is...yes, go look it up. Home VBACs are safe and actually desirable in some circumstances, according to real medicine.
So maybe my UO is people need to do better with their "concern." Sorry, hormonal and sensitive and defensive.
I actually legitimately did not know a VBAC home birth was a thing until I saw you asking about it. I keep meaning to ask you if you found a provider and if this is still your plan. And I know you care about the safety of your baby
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
@kiki75 Yeah the FAFSA parent contribution thing is total BS. MH got screwed on that one (one of many, I know).
I have so much rage over this. With mine they wanted my parents' tax returns, despite the fact that my parents were contributing nothing. So I qualified for zero dollars based on the help from my parents that I wasn't getting.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
@bettyvonsomethingstein@antoto Anymore, I don't see any shame in saving yourself from the agitation and, at minimum, hiding posts from people who post things that always jack you up. There are only so many times I can gently PM a second cousin to implore him to pay attention to sources (hint: if the vast majority of those commenting can't even come close to writing intelligible sentences, it might be a poor source) before sharing things and researching some of the people he likes and shares. (Including, "That guy is a known, proud white supremacist. Do you really want to associate yourself with him? 'Cause that guy could say that the sky was blue and I'd tell him where to stuff it.) And I only tried with him because I care about my aunt, uncle, and cousins. The other ones? You see what they post and the tenor of their comments and you just know that they have information to the contrary available but they're never going to even soften their stance so what good does it to for me to have that shoved in my face in a place that I generally go for entertainment? None.
Which leads me to FFTC, I've straight up skipped as much of the news this week as possible and have pretty much avoided Facebook and Twitter. I'm emotionally exhausted. I can't handle it and torturing myself won't do a bit of good. I followed the ritual all of the last times and it didn't do a dang thing. So after having a good cry about it in the shower Monday morning when H told me, I decided to skip it. I think it's okay to step away sometimes.
@kiki75 Yeah the FAFSA parent contribution thing is total BS. MH got screwed on that one (one of many, I know).
I have so much rage over this. With mine they wanted my parents' tax returns, despite the fact that my parents were contributing nothing. So I qualified for zero dollars based on the help from my parents that I wasn't getting.
Yeah for MH they calculated it based on parents tax returns, but didn't factor in their severe credit card debt and previous bankruptcy. So of course they didn't contribute but he got less aid because of it. Good times.
@kiki75 Yeah the FAFSA parent contribution thing is total BS. MH got screwed on that one (one of many, I know).
I have so much rage over this. With mine they wanted my parents' tax returns, despite the fact that my parents were contributing nothing. So I qualified for zero dollars based on the help from my parents that I wasn't getting.
This is so frustrating. Did you ask your parents to stop claiming you or did were they still providing insurance/other expenses? My parents had to stop claiming me when I got pregnant with my son and my insurance wouldn't cover me. I fortunately got a good job, but geez, I would have never made it through school if they claimed me.
@DDRRT1982 I know you weren't asking me this but in MH's case neither of his parents were claiming him, nor providing any expenses-- he had been living totally on his own since he was 17.
@DDRRT1982 I know you weren't asking me this but in MH's case neither of his parents were claiming him, nor providing any expenses-- he had been living totally on his own since he was 17.
Yes, this. They don't (or didn't) care. If you were under 23 I think, it was an automatic assumption that the parents contribute.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
@DDRRT1982 I know you weren't asking me either - but at least back to when I went to college and I doubt it's changed, for FAFSA just not being claimed as a dependent isn't enough for FAFSA (ie Federal Dept of Education) to determine that you're independent in the sense that your parents won't contribute. You have to have some extenuating circumstances on top of it - like being married, I assume having a child will get you there, probably having a court legally emancipating you as well (but over 18 that wouldn't happen so probably not good enough). It's an uphill battle. The entire point is to minimize the amount of financial aid needed, so everything that can be done to show money coming in regardless of the veracity of it is considered. I had friends with divorced/MIA parents who got really screwed with it.
I actually legitimately did not know a VBAC home birth was a thing until I saw you asking about it. I keep meaning to ask you if you found a provider and if this is still your plan. And I know you care about the safety of your baby
Ah, no! I should have clarified it's people in real life. Not that you guys aren't real life...
There's something very different about being asked, especially by someone currently pregnant in your support group (this group) vs someone who makes a face like you're about to touch live electric wire with your foot in a bucket of water.
Re: UO 10/5
If one more person asks me "Can you safely have a VBAC at home?" I'm going to scream. I get and appreciate the concern, but what the question says is "Do you even care about the safety of your baby? Have you just come up with this idea based on nothing and idiocy?"
So my answer is...yes, go look it up. Home VBACs are safe and actually desirable in some circumstances, according to real medicine.
So maybe my UO is people need to do better with their "concern." Sorry, hormonal and sensitive and defensive.
I doubt that's what you're saying but genuinely asking. And if that's what you're saying, that's ok, too.
I am sorry to hear people are acting like tools and questioning your birth plan. They should mind their own business.
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
While I agree that the cost of higher education is absolutely astronomical/unreasonable, I don't think it's a parent's responsibility to pay for their child's tuition. Especially if it comes at the detriment of retirement savings. I think kids are significantly better served having student loans and elderly parents who are on good footing financially (who can potentially leave them some sort of inheritance/property/whatever), than less/no student loans and having to support parents financially who raided their 401k (or whatever) to pay for college.
I'm not saying that if parents can reasonably afford it they shouldn't help, just that it shouldn't be their primary responsibility. I fully intend to help with college costs, but if they keep going at this rate, it's not going to cover it. FWIW my parents did something similar (to the best of their financial means- ie nowhere near the full cost of tuition).
I think the whole college system is completely screwed up but my views on that are a completely different UO.
Pregnant with #2:
I think college has become a "bubble" similar to how we had the tech bubble in the 90s and the housing bubble 10ish years ago. There is absolutely no reason for many jobs to require a 4 year degree as a starting point (you're not learning anything in college that actually helps with those jobs). Before a high school degree was a starting point to finding a job. Now, it's a 4 year degree. So, to do something more specialized and/or advanced you also need a graduate degree. A lot of these jobs, the annual salary is less than a year of tuition, which is mind boggling. Also, you finish all this education, you start your first job, and you know nothing about the actual work. I'm in a (somewhat) specialized field and my undergrad was at a business school. Yet, those 4 years which were more focused than an average undergrad degree didn't actually prepare me (or anyone I graduated with) for the work I was doing.
Also, I don't think college is for everyone and a lot of people/kids get pushed into it because it's what you "have" to do to be "successful." For example, there are plenty of people who like and are good at doing work with their hands - mechanics, electricians, plumbers, etc etc. They don't need a college degree and can be quite successful without one. I don't think there should be a stigma about not going to college.
Basically, while it'll never happen, I think college should get scaled back. There should be more apprenticeship type programs where you get actual experience in the work you're going to do. Jobs like executive assistants that don't actually require extra training shouldn't require a college degree as a starting point. I can keep ranting away, but at the end of the day if you stop funneling everyone into a 4 year degree the costs have to go down (more competition), and you have a good chance at making a decent living without 20+ years of student loans looming over you since you spend less time in the system.
Edited for typos/clarity
Pregnant with #2:
My childrens college tuition will be paid for, so thankfully they'll never have to worry about that. But I do agree that parents should not feel like they HAVE to pay for all their child's tuition.
I think my UO today is that when two people get married, the money they make at their separate jobs (or the money from one job if someone is a stay at home spouse) is both of their money. I don't think a wife should feel like her husband is buying her something every time she goes grocery shopping just because he's the one making the money and not her. And I'm always a little confused when I see two people who are married but have seperate bank accounts.
In response to your other point @ShawnnaO I have a girl that I'm friends with on Facebook who will rave when her husband buys her anything. She is a stay-at-home mom with 4 kids while he works outside the home. She will reference "his hard-earned money" and how he spends it on her. It drives me crazy!
I think it's important for a student to have to pay for some part of their education so they have a vested intrest. I watched a lot of the students that my DH went to chiropractic school with not care because they weren't paying for any of it(which is crazy to me that parents had that much money saved.) a couple of them aren't even using their degree now.
I am a new SAHM and hate it when mother moms say DH bought them stuff. My DH knows I work hard everyday to take care of kids, keep the house clean, and make sure dinner is made and everyone is happy. On the weekends he is tired by Sunday night and says he doesn't know how I do it and keep everything straight.
I super hate separate bank accounts- my SIL keeps her money separate to spend on herself and my BILs money is to pay bills.
My UO- I think that it is good for couples to have separate bank accounts. I’m all for one account for bills, but I like the separate accounts for frivolous spending. For me, I feel that it is freedom for however I want to spend my money without judgement and vice versa.
The real issue to me is the cost. It's just outrageous. And PP are right, it's nuts that people are going into decades of debt over degrees they won't need or will never use. And the answer isn't necessarily trade school either. I went to school for a specific trade/no degree, and holy hell was it also expensive. It paid off in the end and I have done very well for myself, but it certainly wasn't as cheap as "trade school" is made out to be.
Oh and I think there is nothing wrong with unfollowing people on FB who have views that I find unintelligent. I've heard a lot of people say you shouldn't do that because you put yourself in a bubble - but I don't live on FB. I use it to check up on peoples lives and share some funny/interesting articles. I'm aware people have different and even horrible opinions that I don't share. I don't need it plastered on my FB feed to know that.
H has a cousin who has a Masters who is now making probably a good $180,000/year on her own, plus her spouse's income. And yet she still hasn't taken over payments for all of the loans that her parents took on to put her through school and they both joke in that "I laugh to cover up that I want to cry" way about how they'll never retire. Uh, what?? I also had a coworker who married a woman from another country who had three children, none of whom were citizens. About a year or two after marrying her, oldest wants to go to college. Over the course of HS, she never did anything to ensure that she would be eligible for Federal aid. Nothing. Then the bill comes and coworker is madly raiding his 401k to cover her tuition. Sorry. I would have been lighting a fire under her tush through high school to get her ducks lined up and if it came down to 'just raid your 401k so I can go to school and no I don't want to even work 10-hours a week' I would have told her she'd have to miss that semester to get her paperwork in order and work. Not long after that he left his 401k statement on the printer and I saw it when I went to get my stuff. I was about 27 at the time. He was pushing 50. We had close to the same amount in our 401ks. It's nuts.
Plus, I think it's important for kids to have some skin in the game. I have every intention of, even if we can afford it, giving our kids the impression that they have a lot of responsibility here. Get the grades that will get and maintain a merit scholarship. Work. Go to class. At my second school, you could tell who was paying for it themselves and who wasn't. The ones who weren't were the ones always inviting the other kids to skip class and the other ones were saying, "Are you kidding? This place costs $X/day! I'm going to class."
@kalawa That has to be a weird transition. Just after getting married, I went through a couple months where I felt smothered and like my money suddenly wasn't mine and I couldn't spend anything without asking. And that was just me. Nothing H said. I hope it starts falling into a more comfortable groove soon.
My UO: I think it's super obnoxious and kind of inappropriate to listen to talk radio with a political leaning at work. I do not want to hear it. I don't want to be bombarded by it every time I go to the kitchen, thankyouverymuch. And, even if I couldn't hear it, I don't have any idea how you could concentrate on your job while listening. It's not like this is an assembly type job where muscle memory can take over.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
Which leads me to FFTC, I've straight up skipped as much of the news this week as possible and have pretty much avoided Facebook and Twitter. I'm emotionally exhausted. I can't handle it and torturing myself won't do a bit of good. I followed the ritual all of the last times and it didn't do a dang thing. So after having a good cry about it in the shower Monday morning when H told me, I decided to skip it. I think it's okay to step away sometimes.
And on the topic of college isn't for everyone, I'm a huge fan of this video.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
Pregnant with #2:
There's something very different about being asked, especially by someone currently pregnant in your support group (this group) vs someone who makes a face like you're about to touch live electric wire with your foot in a bucket of water.
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18