Stupid Question Sunday! 10/1

dkizz82

@jlemons-2 yes! Pickle juice for the win but Zantacis better. 

dkizz82

elcd458 said:

I sneeze-peed at my baby shower. Good times. 

I know what you mean though, @clovelyone.  I wasn't having to go all that much, but now bet I have peed 100 times in the last 2 or 3 days.  TBH, I can't actually tell when I have to pee. Or I guess I can, but it's not the typical sensation, so to speak? I just get a little bit more discomfort/pressure than normal and it's relieved by peeing.  Hopefully that doesn't mean I have some kind of raging infection or bladder dysfunction...

You “snissed”. Welcome to 3rd trimester. I hold my breath every time I cough or sneeze. Hahaha. Never know what might slip out. 

dkizz82

@ktcakes87 I installed my base before every appointment starting st 36 weeks. Then I would take it out after the appt. they have to be replaced in case of a car accident so I didn’t risk it. Glad I didn that though because I went to my 38 weeks appt and never made it home. 
My hospital didn’t even look at her car seat, base, anything. Hospitals are different. 

breezybee

I peed last night, brushed my teeth, and immediately had to pee again. Story of my life these days. 

MJDsquared

How do you check if a car seat is expired? Someone from DH’s work gave us one (that I don’t actually want to use regardless of DH saying this coworker wouldn’t give us a faulty one) so I’m just curious about how to check. She included the registration card which has the item number and serial and all that. But I’m confused because the card lists the manufacture date as 6/16 but he says this coworker’s daughter is 4? Then there’s a tag that says “20140528” on the seat itself. It’s a Diono. If nothing else I’m just going to reach out to their customer service and ask them.

dkizz82

MJDsquared said:

How do you check if a car seat is expired? Someone from DH’s work gave us one (that I don’t actually want to use regardless of DH saying this coworker wouldn’t give us a faulty one) so I’m just curious about how to check. She included the registration card which has the item number and serial and all that. But I’m confused because the card lists the manufacture date as 6/16 but he says this coworker’s daughter is 4? Then there’s a tag that says “20140528” on the seat itself. It’s a Diono. If nothing else I’m just going to reach out to their customer service and ask them.

Different models have different expirations. Some last 6 years some last 10.... however I would not use it. You never know if it’s been In a wreck, the straps were washed, etc. they say don’t use a used car seat unless you trust your baby’s life to them. I am super serious about car seats. You DH means well, but it just isn’t safe. 

MJDsquared

@dkizz82 Yeah I don’t plan on using it, I’m just curious.

ashtynmo

What side of the car should I put the car seat? Behind the driver or behind the passenger? Or middleb

balletnerd

@ashtynmo I’ve heard the middle seat is safest... but any seat should be fine

dkizz82

@ashtynmo middle safer but if you install correctly
they are all fairly equal. Dd was in the middle until I switched her to a convertible. It was
tio hard getting in and out to get her in and out. We’re 26 months and still
reae facing. There’s several Facebook groups that are very helpful for car seat questions.  

jlemons-2

I put DD in the middle but this one will be behind me. 

Marley629

DS1 is currently behind passenger but i may switch him to behind me and put baby behind passenger.  I'd prefer one of them to be in the middle but I'm not sure the seats will fit next to each other in my backseat like that. Will have to check. 

cait5413

Middle is the safest seat (https://thecarseatlady.com/center-or-side/ ). We installed DD's convertible behind the driver's seat and will put the infant seat in the middle because they will both still be rear-facing. The middle seat should be used for the least-protected passenger, so if you have front-facing kids and the rear-facing baby, it's better to have the front-facing kids in the middle because they are less protected. Most of what you read says behind the driver or behind the passenger are the same, but I did read one statistic about side-impact crashes when taking a left turn that makes behind the driver slightly safer (because you're more likely to get t-boned on the other side). We also put her behind the driver because to access our 3rd row, you need to move forward the seat behind the passenger seat. The only pain about it being on the driver's side is that if you parallel park, you have to stand in the street to get the kid out, so the passenger side might be a little better if you'll be parallel parking a lot. Also, if the main driver of the car is very tall, some carseats may not allow the driver's seat to be pushed back far enough. We actually bought a different convertible carseat because the one we had wouldn't let us put DD and the baby next to each other (base was too wide) and then you couldn't access the 3rd row if needed. (We still have the other one for use in DH's car.) There are good sites out there that will let you know which seats will fit best 2 or 3 across in your particular car, so if you are planning for more kids (or already have more than one), that's some good research to do before you purchase seats!

ETA: Of course, if you can't get it installed securely, than the middle seat is no good!

whiska

This feels like a stupid question so I'll go for it! So what do you do with a baby that just won't stop crying (and it's fed and changed)?  Keep holding it?  Go for a walk?  Shush it soothingly?

This is the question that keeps me awake in the middle of the night sometimes.  Doesn't help we share a double and I'm worried about baby annoying the neighbors.

failuretofly

@whiska you do ALL.THE.THINGS. haha. Or whatever it takes. For DS it was strapping him into the carrier because he loved it. Sometimes it's the swing, sometimes it's the stroller, sometimes it's staying latched to your Boob forever, sometimes it's that special way only dad rocks them... Sometimes they just cry. 

txmomma16

@wiska I'm a FTM but I spent about a decade of my life as a nanny or babysitter, and most of what I learned is there is no rhyme or reason, and every baby is different. It's a lot of testing and trying new things. First things first is address the big concerns, are they hungry? hot? cold? wet? dirty diaper? etc. After that, it's just trying everything. Walking, rocking, shushing, singing, dancing, sashaying, swaying side to side, pacifiers, toys, blankets, etc. One kiddo I spent a year with required my awful interpretation of square dancing. If I tried to sway side to side without occasional turns, they woke up and yelled, but add the occasional turn to the swaying and they were soothed. It really is just a process of elimination until you find what works for you. 

dkizz82

@whiska you do whatever works. Nothing works twice and you sometimes lose your shit. We were colicky plus a milk allergy. Seemed like she cried nonstop. Sometimes I would put her somewhere safe and walk out of the house for 2 mins just to breathe. I don’t know. Sometimes we would sit and cry together. There’s just so much you can do when you’ve done everything else. 

skc040512

@whiska I agree with PP. Every baby is different, but once you rule out the major things, you should eventually learn what works for your LO. The Happiest Baby on the Block has some food resources (you can probably just look up the method online rather than buying the book). But some babies just cry and you learn to deal with it, even though it's no fun

babybison

@whiska As a FTM I have no experience, but I cried for 4 months straight as a baby and only stopped when my parents drove me around in the car. At least then they could get their sanity back. 

elcd458

@whiska my niece essentially cried any time she was awake.  we called her colicky but I don't know that a true cause was ever pursued.  that's been almost a decade ago-- nowadays it seems like pediatricians, lactation consultants, etc. will try to explore dietary causes when the traditional soothing methods aren't effective.  GI stuff really seems to be the culprit quite often, i.e. milk protein allergy, not burping enough, constipated, underfeeding, etc.

dilbert890

I saw a pelvic floor physio and she was amazing. She haven me more tips than just do kegels.. just do kegels wouldn't have been worth her fee. 
Some of her tips for the pelvic floor helped with physio exercises I've been struggling with for years. Can't recommend them enough. 

failuretofly

@dilbert890 YAAAASSS! Preach it sister! 
PF physio is amazing!

whiska

I was just using the Hospital bag thread to make my packing list, and something occurred to me: should I not bring any scented or strongly-scented bath products with me to the hospital because it might make baby less able to pick up on my natural scent?  Like, I use a coconut body wash and an almond cocoa/shea butter bar in the shower, but I don't want to throw off baby   Should I just keep those products away from my nips? lol

dkizz82

@whiska really smart question. I would personally say no because of your reasons and because of mine.... my spinal made me itch sooooooo bad that I was bleeding. I had to send my mom to the store to get aveeno soothing oatmeal stuff to help calm me down. It wasn’t fun. 

babybison

@whiska I'm probably not going to because I always associate smells to events, and whether L&D is a happy time or a sad time, it's still going to be pretty stressful/new experience for me. I wouldn't want my brain to think I should be stressed just because I smell coconut months down the road.

skc040512

@whiska I would agree with @dkizz82 - your skin will get so dry from staying at the hospital you will really want something like Dove or Aveeno's moisturizing line (which tends to be lightly scented, if it has any scent at all).

Edited for tag

whiska

@babybison That's a good point.  I never wear perfume but bought some for our wedding day; it makes me really happy to put it on again on our anniversaries   

@dkizz82 @Skcobb Thanks! I'll be looking into getting some products that are 1) super moisturizing and 2) lightly- or un-scented.  If hospital soap is anything like hotel soap, I would definitely want to bring my own anyway.  Hotel soap dries me out like nothing else...

failuretofly

@whiska so weird thing related to scents. When my mom came after DS was born she had this VERY heavily scented body lotion, that would rub off on DS when she held him. Whenever I got him back from her I had this VERY visceral, instinctual negative reaction to it. It was like my animal brain was like "this is not your baby, get rid of it now". Like it made me almost ragey! I had to tell her to stop using it because it was making me hate my baby. Just goes to show how strong those scents/pheromones are without us even realizing. To this day I cannot stand the smell of that body lotion. 
So to that end, yes, I would recommend against any heavily scented products. Plus they are usually banned in hospital settings anyway. 

skc040512

@failuretofly same thing happened to me with DD and my sister. I told my sister that she made DD smell like a baby prostitute  I blame the hormones...

elcd458

@failuretofly @whiska
We had our first birthing class this week and the doula leading it actually STRONGLY encouraged a no-smell environment for labor and postpartum.  She said that since your hormones are haywire during birth, it heightens your senses can make normally good smells offensive just like during morning sickness days.  So, no soothing lavender eye mask, no giant philly cheesesteaks being eaten in the room by dad, etc. 

kyrwyn

I'm already super sensitive to smell and touch.  You guys are making me tempted to have DH sniff-test everyone who might enter our hospital room, just so I'm not trapped in the room with their lingering scents after any visits.  Plus because it would be super awkward for visitors, and that sort of thing would probably make DH happy.  (80% sure I would not actually do this... but 20% strongly considering it.)

cait5413

@whiska I honestly don't even remember if I brought my own soap when I had DD--but if I did, it wasn't unscented. Most of the stuff I read about breastfeeding seemed to recommend not using soap at all on your nipples since they are so sensitive at first, though, so I may have avoided soap on my boobs altogether. 

dkizz82

What is the best/most comfortable sex position right now? Seriously? I’m feeling like a beached whale and I promised DH anniversary sex
tonight. Side of bed maybe? There’s no way I’m getting in top. Haha

katiegeminimoon

@dkizz82 I would say doggy style kneeling on the edge of the bed or laying with your butt on the edge of the bed. Him standing for both of course  . That's what works for us right now!

MJDsquared

@dkizz82 For me it's spooning, but then again doggy style has always been painful for me with full penetration and when we did it a month or so ago I had horrible pain at one point and bled. So I've taken that option off the table.

ETA: But I don't actually want it in any position. Lol.

txmomma16

@dkizz82 Happy Anniversary! Today is our five year anniverary too! 

I have no advice for positions because I haven't had any sex since the early first tri. After all the complications and various levels of constant pain, sex has not even been mentioned in my house. 

dkizz82

@txmomma16 it’s our 4th. Happy anniversary. We haven’t either. After bleeding, cramping, etc I’m terrified. I don’t want to do it but I know the edge of the bed worked best last pregnancy. I’m so terrified I will bleed and then be mad at him. Haha. Maybe it’ll be ok. 

failuretofly

@dkizz82 this may be TMI, but edge of the bed worked for DH and I at the end of my first pregnancy because I could keep my legs close together and he'd still get that feeling of being 'deep' without bumping up on my cervix (usually what causes bleeding and discomfort). Plus, I think having your legs up around his neck adds a hotness factor haha I'd just prop a pillow up under one hip to keep from being flat on my back.

dkizz82

@failuretofly I agree. Haha. That’s what we’ll end up doing. Poor guy, I feel bad for him. Ha! It won’t last too long. 

dkizz82

Thanks for your help ladies. Side of the bed it was.