- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
April 2018 Moms
ngolimento
member
Breastfeeding Survival Guide
ngolimento
member
I personally would have majorly benefited from a thread like this with my daughter, so I'm going to start an advice thread so we can all pitch in on tips and tricks on how to make it work.
Ok, to open, let's all be completely honest: breastfeeding is hard. It is deeply worth it, but just like pregnancy, it is hard. I despise smoke-blowing posts where people hide how hard it is behind rainbows and unicorns for fear of scaring women off of it. That's condescending to women who just did 9 months of something even harder. Let's be real, and let's be helpful.
So let's hear it ladies! Sanity saving tips and tricks!
Ok, to open, let's all be completely honest: breastfeeding is hard. It is deeply worth it, but just like pregnancy, it is hard. I despise smoke-blowing posts where people hide how hard it is behind rainbows and unicorns for fear of scaring women off of it. That's condescending to women who just did 9 months of something even harder. Let's be real, and let's be helpful.
So let's hear it ladies! Sanity saving tips and tricks!
Re: Breastfeeding Survival Guide
1). The first two weeks are the hardest. If you can stick through the first two weeks, it usually levels out and turns into smooth sailing. If it does not, never ever hesitate to see a lactation consultant.
2) See a lactation consultant. Most insurance plans cover it. Even if you don't go through a rough period, your post delivery brain will panic that your baby isn't getting enough milk. Seeing a consultant will ease your mind immeasurably.
3) Of your nipples get irritated in the first two weeks, don't man it out, get the Medela Nipple Shells. You wear them between feedings, and they keep your nipples from drying out, and/or sticking and cracking. They saved my breastfeeding relationship with my DD.
4) Feed your baby/pump as often as you possibly can during the first few days. Think of these days as the order window at the drive through. Your body will decide how much milk you need to produce based on the demand in this time. This can be hard to do, especially if you are getting chafing, but hang in there.
5). Stuff as much of your boob as you can into your baby's mouth. Ideally, your baby does not have its lips on your nipple, but on the skin next to it. This will cut down on chafing and cracking.
If you do want to nurse, know that pediatricians are horribly uneducated on the subject and should not be your first choice for advice! The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and "So That's What They Are For" Are two books I recommend for every mom wanting to nurse.
1.) Don't believe the first 1,2, ... + people who tell you there is no tongue/lip tie. Nursing SHOULD NOT leave you bleeding and cracked!! If it hurts beyond mild irritation, there likely is a tie, and you likely have people who don't recognize them!! It took me 3 doctors, a lactation consultant and 2 nurses who missed my son's lip tie, before i finally found a pediatric dentist who was worth her weight in gold after she diagnosed and lasered the tie in office the same day!! Reach out, there are tongue tie support groups. I was fortunate that I knew what a "normal" nurser felt like from my daughter. Had he been my first experience I likely would have given up. But I persisted in getting the ties revised and we have been nursing pain-free since he was 5 weeks old!
2.) They will want to eat all.the.time. when they are brand new. And that is good and normal!! It actually forces you to sit down and let your body heal!! Once they are a little bigger you will be able to master nursing on the go, but in the early days, Just sit back, drink lots of water and enjoy the cuddles. Soon you'll get the drive by nursing sessions and be begging for cuddles!
3.) Pumping and dumping for alcohol is not necessary! If you're sober enough to drive you're sober enough to nurse. Pumping doesn't make the alcohol leave any faster. If you wake up the next day sober, go ahead and nurse. I usually stuck to the one drink per hour rule, which usually never made me drunk (2 drinks a night was plenty!) And would continue to nurse while sipping a beer on occasion.
4.) You don't have to love it. It doesn't have to be all sunshine and rainbows. Changing diapers blows, washing clothes, sucks, there are plenty of things about motherhood that are just chores. To me nursing was just another chore, (still is).
5.) Does not mean your SO won't bond with baby. Both of my kids are totally bonded with their daddy and he maybe gave them 5 bottles their whole lives.
Get with an IBCLC or La Leche League group. And never quit on a bad day. Sleep on it, and decide with a fresh perspective what is best for you on your family. I never started with a goal in mind with my first. I personally HATE dishes and the thought of spending my grocery budget on something I could produce for free was my motivation to push through the hard times. There WILL be hard times. My goal this time is to reach out for help sooner if there is a latch issue, and to let baby decide when they are done.
2) If your baby ends up in the NICU, start pumping ASAP. Pump as often as your baby should be nursing. And invest in a good hands free pumping bra - they make a world of difference.
3) Pumping (at least for me) hurt like hell until my nipples got used to it.
4) Just because you are nursing doesn't mean you have to do all MOTN work alone! DH would get up with us and change DD's diaper while I went to the bathroom or got a snack. YH can be as involved as you want or need him to be.
5) It may take longer than 2 weeks for a breastfed baby to get back to birth weight, especially if a) it took longer for your milk to come in (think 5 days j stead of 2 or 3), or b) you were on a lot of fluids at delivery and you think the birth weight may be inflated. Trust your gut, keep putting the baby back on the boob, and seek help. One or two feeds supplemented with formula while you regain your sanity is not bad! At the end of the day, FED is best.
6) It may take longer for milk to come in and you may have to encourage your body a bit if you had a c-section. Not true for all, but it took longer for many people I know (myself included) who had c-sections vs people who had vaginal births. Mother's Milk tea, Oatmeal (real oatmeal, no Quaker Oats), dark beer, fenugreek, blessed thistle, and goat's rue can all help encourage milk production.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
I totally agree with the PP who suggested the Medela nipple shields. (PS, you only need one because it's only worn while nursing, so you can just take it off and stick it on the other side when you change sides.)
It saved my life when it literally felt like my nipples were being torn off and I had blisters after just 24 hours of nursing, my daughter was jaundiced and needed to nurse to clear it, and I really didn't want to nurse.
All the props to my wonderful midwife. I only knew about shields that were worn while you were wearing bras to help with inverted and flat nipples. My mom, too, had only heard of that type. I had never heard of nipple shields that could be worn while nursing.
Bravado nursing bras are amazing. I still wear mine and DD weaned last November.
Don't let anyone pressure you into weaning. It is solely your decision whenever it happens at 2 days or 4 years.
If you're trying to build a stash, the best time to pump is an hour after the first feeding in the morning. I always got the most.
Some galactagogue type foods that people swear by are gatorade, oatmeal, lactation cookies (I didn't make them but I'm sure someone has a good recipe), fenugreek, etc.
Also, please seek help if things seem to be going fine and then take a turn for the worse. DD had nursing down until 6 weeks and an undiagnosed tongue and lip tie made her transfer less milk and it was an awful two weeks of her losing weight. See a lactation consultant in the beginning to rule it out.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
Baby #1: Aug. 2016
Baby #2: April 1st, 2018
Don't let anyone bully or intimidate you about formula supplimenting. It WILL NOT ruin your feeding relationship. It will not cause "Nipple Confusion" or whatever bugaboo closet monster pro-BFers like to scare people with.
My baby was born too big to do well on colostrum. Her blood sugar wasn't doing well, and I had to supplement. It was such a dark moment for me because I was torn down over it by several people( including a lactation consultant). They told me I had doomed my chances at breastfeeding, that she would reject me, and that I was sabotaging us. It was bullshit. THEY were bullshit. I supplimented my baby, and she went on to be a boob gourmet. It ruined nothing and kept her healthy.
If someone tears you down about formula, don't listen. It has its place and you should have zero shame over it.
*TW* Worse still, there are no useful resources on letting your milk dry up using only a pump - except for sites for mothers who have lost their babies. It's horrible to have to seek out those resources, but honestly it was the only relevant guide I could find. If anyone is reading this a year from now and needs help drying up suddenly, feel free to DM me.
I too was a low supplier. I had a csection and it took over a week for my milk to come in. My DS lost 12% of his weight by the time we left the hospital and I was exclusively nursing (with a great latch). It was gut wrenching to have to supplement but it made all the difference! No one at the hospital told me "hey maybe try pumping to get that milk in." I wish someone did!! Maybe the outcome would have been different.
Once I left the hospital, the lactation consultant at the pediatricians office wanted me to exclusively pump for two days every hour to try to get my milk in and to see how much I was producing. I think even she could sense I was at my wits end and scared my son wasn't getting enough to eat. I became an exclusive pumper after that. It was a huge weight off my shoulders to know exactly what my son was getting and supplementing the rest. My nips were also happy with the pumping. It was such sweet relief.
I agree with PP about the nipple shields. After DS was born, I immediately nursed with a nipple shield as I found I had flat nipples. That thing was a blessing as it helped my son get a great latch from the start. When the nips started cracking and hurting (yes even with the shield) the doctor prescribed dr. Jack newmans nipple cream. It's a prescription and was heaven. I never used anything else.
My biggest regret was letting everyone and their mother come visit me at the hospital. I should have been focused on nursing or pumping. This go around it will only be immediate family. I plan on a ton of skin to skin, pumping/nursing so the boobs will be out in full force.
I'm still deciding on if I want to go down the nursing road or just exclusively pump. I'll be honest, I didn't love nursing. It kind of creeped me out a bit!! After nine months, I wanted my body back and not someone latching to it and causing more pain. My husband would prefer me to exclusively pump this time so we know how much the baby is getting and so he can help out (love him). Even that's daunting - especially with a toddler. But ya know what, I may do both. Heck, I may top off with formula! I now know that it's ok! Do whatever works best for you!!
Also, nipple confusion is total BS. My son nursed for the first week with a great latch. He took a binkie from day one. Then he took a bottle. At around 8 weeks I got curious to see if I can put him back to breast and sure enough, he latched without any problems. But I continued to pump for 4 months until he was getting more formula than breast milk.
When you are in the throes of postpartum, nothing makes sense. Emotions are so high that you think the act of supplementing equates to failure. It does not. You do what you have to do. Don't let anyone make you feel shame in your choices.
And I have heard that pumps aren't as efficient in most women. I actually had the issue of it making me overproduce.
If you do plan on pumping please buy a deep freeze, this helped me stop before a year but continue to feed her until 16 months.
@Puddlewonderful I chose to stop ep and it took 2 months for me to stop producing and lots of pain. I had to ask other moms what they did to stop.
Be your own advocate. Don't assume your obgyn knows what they're talking about when it comes to breastfeeding-- they often don't. See a lactation consultant! If you live in the US your visit will also certainly be covered by your insurance thanks to Obamacare!
Be careful with the nipple shields-- I actually think it played a role in my mastitis and it can really reduce supply. It's fine to use in the very beginning if baby is having trouble latching but it shouldn't be used all the time or long term.
Get a good pump and if you need to build a stash, pump right after baby's first morning feeding.
Dairy can be an issue for babies tummies and if you're advised to try eliminating it-- make sure you are completely dairy free for 2 weeks and write down the start date because if you have frozen milk from before that date, you may need to wait a bit to use it. DS had a dairy sensitivity until he was about 8 months but after that it was fine.
Bookmark InfantRisk for info on medications and their safety while breastfeeding.
Demand a private, clean space other than a bathroom to pump at work. Again, in the US it's a law for most employees. You have a right to a private space (not a bathroom) and adequate break time to pump.
Breastfeed on demand. You're not spoiling your baby-- you're listening and responding to baby's needs.
That said, getting touched out can happen so having some pumped milk stashed can help you get a break when you need it.
I like this thread because what works best for each individual mom/baby BFing relationship will be different. I think there will be lots of different advice here that will hopefully help some of the FTMs narrow down options that are in line with what will be the best fit for them. Here's what worked for me-
I liked The Complete Book of Breastfeeding. It has a lot of great information in it and lots of charts. I didn't find it too opinion filled or adgenda-y. It's easy to navigate to find the info that you want and skim past stuff you don't need/want to read. I never read TWOABF, but a lot of ladies on my last BMB did and liked it.
Utilize the hospital LCs if you are having a hospital birth. I asked to see one multiple times just to get all the feedback and tips. Ask all the questions and don't be afraid to speak up if something doesn't feel right. I'd also suggest making an appointment with a LC a few days after you go home, just for a check in and to do a weighted feed. It helps for reassurance and to be able to ask anything that you forgot to ask in the hospital.
I was mega stressed about it being able to see the ounces. A friend suggested that I get a home baby scale that measured lbs and ounces, so that I could do my own weighted feeds. I got the Salter Baby Toddler Scale on Amazon. It's $48 and was totally worth it for me to be able to see the ounces LO was getting at every feed.
I dont have experience with nipple shields, but some products that I found helpful in the early days were-
1. lansinoh lanolin
2. lansinoh disposable nursing pads (waaaayyy softer than the medela ones)
3. Ameda hydrogel pads (These were ahhhmaaazeee on my cracked nipples, especially keeping them in the fridge. I used them during the day and the disposable pads with lanolin during the night)
Also. Kellymom.com is an amazing resource. There is an answer to basically any question or problem that you might run into while BFing- appropriate diaper output, nursing strikes, clogged ducts, mastitis, etc.
The first night after my third baby was born, I asked them to take him to the nursery for a few hours so I could sleep and they were very reluctant to do it, because rooming in promotes breastfeeding (you know what? So does sleep. They still brought him back at least every three hours and I just gave birth). They pushed me to give him his first bath when I still had my IV in and did not feel stable enough to stand holding the baby, let alone bathe him, again because it was somehow supposed to promote breastfeeding.
There were some of positives to it, too - the lactation consultant checked on me, like, hourly and they had tons of helpful literature on breastfeeding. And look, I have breastfed all three of my babies for at least 15 months each and I am certainly a proponent of it. But if you find yourself in a hospital where you feel breastfeeding is being pushed beyond what your instinct tells you you need to do for your own health and well being, do not be bullied by it. I have supplemented, used pacis, bottles, etc and still had very successful breastfeeding relationships.
Me (33). DH (37). DD (2.2012). MCs x4. After 4 years & 7 months, due 4.2018!
This thread is mostly due advice for people who run into struggles. It is entirely possible that you won't, and it will be a breeze for you. But when I was trying it for the first time people where so busy trying to hide how hard it could be so as not to "discourage" me, that I didn't go in nearly as equipped to handle rough patches as I could have been. Luckily I am obscenely stubborn, and had the good fortune to have high production so it all evened out.
(1) I have had horrible engorgement with both kiddos. Try freezing some cabbage and stuff the cabbage leaves in your bra in between nursing sessions. It helps reduce some engorgement without jacking with supply. You can't do it forever or it will, but it does help those first 2-3 days after the milk comes in.
(2) It's okay to use nipple shields if you need them!
(3) You really can have milk only in one breast. It sounds weird, but around 2 months my left breast dried up COMPLETELY with DD2, and I had to exclusively nurse on my right side for 13 more months.
(4) The first 2 weeks SUCK as your milk supplies regulates and your nipples get used to it. Then it gets better, but it's still a little challenging until about 6 weeks, and then it's sooo much easier. All of that is so true. But then there's a 3 month sleep regression that happens and the baby will want to nurse around the clock. I didn't feel prepared for that the first time, but it went much better the second time when I knew it was coming.
(5) Invest in some comfortable and quality nursing bras!!! For real!! And get a comfy nursing nightgown too, because that helps so much at night, especially in the beginning.
(6) Unless you're drinking a ton (think 2 or more drinks in an hour all evening), don't pump and dump. There's really no need!!!
DD2 was an MSPI baby, super sensitive. I have been advised to start an MSPI diet a few weeks before this baby’s due date since it is likely it’ll have the same issues.
Pumping was fantastic (time consuming, but worth it). I pumped a lot when on maternity leave. After I would finish a feeding I would pump for a few minutes each time. By end of my leave my freezer packed with milk.
When I had my son, I was going to BF him until two, no questions asked. I was naive about the issues that we would have because I think people can be so dismissive of them. DS had a lip tie and a shallow latch. The first 8 weeks were absolute agony. We got through that, and then when I went back to work at 12 weeks, I developed supply issues and never could pump enough at work. I was lucky enough my SIL was an over-producer, so we got to supplement with donor milk. DS ended up self weaning right around one, and I continued to pump until 14 months. The whole time was a struggle, I tried everything, and I absolutely felt like a failure.
This time around I wont be setting any goals. I am expecting the same issues, though holding some hope because I know every baby is different. I'm not going to stress myself out about it this go round, and will happily supplement to get by.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
I also found My Brest Friend a great nursing pillow in the first few months to help with positioning. However once I discovered side laying it was a freaking revelation.
If if you get a clogged duct or engorgement that's resolving breastfeeding normally, try different nursing positions. It sounds nuts but I literally had to nurse on all fours with baby underneath me at one point to clear a duct.
For some reason nobody I know IRL, books, Internet articles, The Bump ladies, talked about how hard BF really is. It completely threw me when DS took a few days to learn to latch properly, then when I thought he had the hang of it my milk came in. My boobs blew up the size of freaking watermelons and he couldn't get his little lips around those monsters. So we had a set back. We worked through it, but it was frustrating and many tears were shed (mostly mine). It took about 6 weeks to really feel like I had a good grasp of it.
I think if I had been aware that babies don't always just latch the moment they're out and it's some butterflies and rainbows experience, I would have handled it better. I'm glad I stuck with it and took things one day at a time setting mini goals for us.
Definitely nursing bras and tanks! I lived in them during maternity leave and then on the weekends once I went back to work. Also a pumping bra is a lifesaver.
Mama to Rowan Sebastian and baby boy coming in April!
milk around a year, she had my milk until she was 13 months old.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
Thanks for starting this @ngolimento
For myself, I had a ravenous baby who needed both boobs every feeding. So I never had to worry about balancing. However if you have a baby that only eats on one side, you may have to pump the other side. Newborns eat A LOT (mine ate every 15 mins to a half hour), so do not stress over a freezer stash during the newborn stage. Once your kid evens out, you can start pumping after feedings, or while you are away from your baby.
If you are a working mom, I hear your normally can get your body to adjust to less pumping during the day. I am an overproducer, so I HAD to pump every two hours. It's kind of embarrassing to admit to, but I ended up donating several gallons to the NICU and 2 other mothers over the course of the year that I breastfed.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
There is so much great advice here. I love it. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside... literally.... Its the pregnancy hormones right?! lol
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
I definitely second many opinion above.
1. Definitely try and shove alot more boob than nipple in your babies mouth. I didn't have help my first few sessions and I had serious crack/irritation that took weeks/maybe longer to heal (my nipple is permanently strange looking from it) And help your baby "un-suction" from your nipple when you are finished or changing sides, don't just pull them off, it'll help avoid irritation too.
2. I pumped for like 5 minutes before our first morning feeding the first couple weeks. My boobs would be so engorged it would be hard to feed and get a good latch if I didn't get a little out. My stash was built easily off this.
3. Leaks happen (way too often!) Find pads you like (disposable/reusable) and keep extras in your diaper bag, work bag etc!
I'll think of others but I found so many of your advice helpful especially since its been 4 years and every baby is different.
2-3oz bottles every 2-3 hrs is what they need during the day. This ensures they get enough but still are hungry enough to create more demand from you. It took a couple months but my pump output bounced back once we dropped bottle sizes. I also am totally cool with a paci while mom is gone, but when I am with baby we nursed a lot which was the best for my pump output!