@pumpkinpancake I hear you on the BSC front. I'm at 9dpo and couldn't resist the urge to POAS this morning, which I know was dumb. BFN, but in all honestly I'm not really showing any signs that it would be otherwise so I'm not sure why my brain keeps going to the "you never know" scenario. No, I DO know. My husband is full of defective sperm and I have a 2% chance with what he has available. STOP POAS!
katie121209 OMG, test again! I have used literally dozens of tests over the last two years knowing full well I'd have a negative each time. Not one time, on any brand did I get an evap line. I used everything from FRER to $store and nothing. I'm so hoping you're on your way out of here! FX
I'm at 8dpo today and feeling like this is probably not the month. AF should come this weekend. I did get more ubiquinol in the mail yesterday. I was out for a few days and I found the best deal was on the costco website.
@eleighmay seriously! What is wrong with me? I’m only 8dpo today (that is, if I even believe FF, since my temps are still being wonky) and I POAS this morning. Obviously it was BFN! At least we can keep each other company on the crazy train...
vlagrl29 It's a bummer when you get that feeling that it's just not happening this month. It's a flashback for me to the other 19 BFN's I've gotten so far, and a let down every time. FX that maybe it's still your month.
pumpkinpancake I even sat and rationalized with myself this morning on how extremely stupid it was to even consider wasting a test knowing a BFN was in the works. What the ever loving hell? I just can't keep myself in check. I think because the FRER boxes say "Up to 6 days before AF" it automatically means that on that sixth day it'll show my BFP. At least I'm now out of tests and have no need to run to the store for anything else until AF so I'm now forced to just wait it out.
@vlagrl29 sorry you’re feeling out already. I’m kind of feeling the same myself now. I really should have stopped temping once FF gave me CH, because now I’m really doubting if I even o’d.
@ELeighMay unfortunately I have like 20 cheap HPT left because I bought in bulk after my mc so that I could know when the hcg was out of my system, so there’s no hope for me resisting the urge to POAS. *hangs head in shame...*
@katie121209 FX that you have some great news coming your way!!!
@vlagrl29 A lot of REs are moving away from Clomid and are switching to Femara which does not thin the uterine lining. I would ask your doctor about doing Femara instead of Clomid. I don't know about where you live, but Femara was cheaper than Clomid for me - the lowest dose was only $13 and that included the pharmacy dispensing fee. I also had crappy side effects on Clomid but barely anything on Femara.
@Racso12 Sorry about the BFN I hear you re: pregnancy announcements. They are COMING OUT OF THE WOODWORK lately. Like, did everyone of childbearing age get pregnant in the last 3-5 months except for us???
@pumpkinpancake@ELeighMay You ladies crack me up. See, I've just decided to embrace the crazy since I know that I have no self control when it comes to POAS. I buy all the cheapies and pee to my heart's desire until AF shows. But I guess if you're someone that is really crushed/triggered by seeing the BFN then it's better to wait it out. I know I'm going to stress about it whether I pee or don't pee, so I gave up.
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@tosh24 - my OB does only clomid and said if I wanted Femara I'd need to see an RE he works with. I'm just going to lay low the next 3 months with it all. I just really hope I don't regret my natural plan. I know in the end 3 months isn't going to be a huge amount of time. Also if we saw an RE then I'd need to consult with one to find out how much all this will cost us since we don't have coverage for fertility. It makes me nervous to literally spend hundreds of dollars not knowing if it will be a for sure thing or not. I'm just really relying on my faith and gut feeling right now.
Also am I wrong in my thinking that the reason you only take clomid 6 months is because it can really damage the lining of your uterus? My OB told me it's rare but 1 side effect is that it can hurt your ovary in such a way you have to get surgery on it. He told me that is a rare side effect but why did he tell me that? Puts on my paranoia even more.
Just went to the clinic for a non-OB related issue. Had to have a blood draw and they ran for HCG as well. BFN. It's like a double affirmation after my morning POAS adventure. I GET IT UNIVERSE! Geez.
@ELeighMay I'm sorry! BFN again for me today, too. Spotting tonight so AF should arrive tomorrow. Crossing my fingers so hard for both of us next month!!
Well BFN for me this am. Have an appt with my RE today to discuss options. My ins will cover nothing so I just want to start looking into possibilities. Is it Friday yet?
BFN for me this morning too, though I’m not surprised. I don’t even know why I’m POAS anymore. My temps have been so rocky this month I’m surprised FF didn’t take away my CH. Chart in spoiler if anyone wants to stalk it, but I’m seriously doubting now if I even o’d
On top of today’s BFN, I’m just feeling sad this morning bc DH left this morning for a conference and won’t be back until late Saturday. Usually i like some alone time, but I’m just not feeling it right now.
Racso12 I'm sorry for your BFN sprkls8506 Not having insurance to cover anything really makes it hard. That's the only reason my DH and I have been making ourselves miserable TTC naturally. But it's also the reason we set a deadline for the misery should we not get a BFP. leahcimmichael I'm sorry for your BFN. Don't you love scheduling BD? I already have my DH on "hold" for next months good dates just so he's on the same page. He'll have been on Clomid for a full month by then so I'm crossing everything possible that it's kick-started his production enough to rein in a solid BFP. SOOOO not realistic, but if I don't hang on to the tiny glimmer of hope I'd likely quit the process.
You'd think after the let-down yesterday that I'd allow myself to be out this month, but I spent a solid amount of time yesterday telling myself it was still early and "you never know". I have no idea why I'm doing this to myself. I'm 10dpo today and have exactly zero symptoms that I can't explain away. BSC laides, BSC.
@pumpkinpancake Sorry for the BFN. Hopefully you did ovulate somewhere in there, but that is one hard to interpret chart! I completely get what you mean about alone time! I used to love when DH went away for a couple days so I could do my introvert thing. Now alone time means time to think, and my thoughts aren’t generally a happy place to hang out these days... hope you find something to keep you occupied til your hubby gets home!
a little spotting today at 9dpo AF should come in the next day or 2 - this is why I don't test lol. Is that long enough LP? AF will either come on day 10 or 11. I might call my OB and ask him about that. I can't believe I'm saying this but I think I'll pull out my BBT next cycle to confirm exact day of O along with OPK.
@leahcimmichael - lol about scheduling. If I truly am O'ing later than I thought I don't think we will BD until CD12 - that would be 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, and 22. I hear ya about romantic.
vlagrl29 Sorry about the impending AF. I can't relate to the short LP. Mine have always been almost 14 days on the button, but don't they say anything shorter than 10 could indicate a progesterone issue? If you're 10 or 11 days maybe it's fine, I'm curious what your OB would say. FX for your next cycle.
yeah they say that @ELeighMay but I've had it tested twice now in normal range. Also back when I used OPKs on a more regular basis I'd get the positive on day 15 or 16 so it being on 17 was new to me. That's only when it catches the LH surge so O doesn't happen for another day or 2.
@LeighMae I had another evap line today. I had them two months ago too. Unless it's very early CP two months ago as well. I guess I will test again tomorrow. AF would be due today although I don't know if it comes at a regular time after a MC
I go here now. I think I O'd yesterday but not tracking anything but OPK. I still have some fertile cm so we will probably keep BDing EOD this weekend. My nurse was supposed to get back with me about taking steroids to help with immune response and TTC but I haven't heard back from her. I just want to have a plan hashed out for next cycle.
katie121209 That's crazy! I'm sure evap lines are totally possible (and many women report having that happen) I just can't believe for the amount of times I've POAS and had a BFN that I've never had that happen. Clearly you're the one holding the test result, but are you sure it's an evap and not an early BFP? I hope it's not a cp, but keep us updated on how it's going. FX the line is darker for you tomorrow!
Blue tests are natorious for evap lines that why I get pink tests.
@sprkls8506 - I'm only going to temp next month to confirm O. Decided to get prog test again in October.
Im officially crazy lol. I don't think I actually started spotting I was tired hadn't drank coffee and thought it was spotting but I had on my old backup stained underwear lol. So guess I'm still in it ha! Assuming AF will come this weekend though.
@sprkls8506 Yep! I know spotting can be an issue with vaginal progesterone, but I’m on oral supplements. I was having issues with pre-AF spotting since my MC last year, so I may be a unique case. Everything I do, I do weird.
yes the suppositories can make you spot. at least they did that to me for a good week before AF came. so weird. I couldn't take oral prog because I had nausea, indigestion and vomiting with it.
The last 2 days were kind of rainy here and I was finding myself a little bummed about the loss and not being pregnant again yet and always feel left wondering if it will ever happen or if I should just accept not being able to again. Talked to DH about it last night and I honestly haven't gotten upset about it since July and feeling really rather strong but I guess I'm still allowed to have weak moments. I did get a little emotional to DH and he hates seeing me like that. I was telling him my thought process - I have weak moments where I doubt the natural TTC plan we are doing and wonder if it's just a waste of time then I think but I'm scared to take medicine because what if something bad happens? Then I go to the fact I don't have much time left. He asks me "are you planning on going somewhere" lol He did tell me last night he is disappointed we haven't had a 2nd kid because he thought we'd always have 2. Then I ask him "but what if it's not ever meant to be? then he asks me "but what if it is?"
I'm sure all of this is pre AF hormones getting wacky.
Then I remind myself to keep it together and remain strong. I go thru all the things in life I'm grateful for and how I need to enjoy that.
vlagrl29 Everyone is entitled to weak moments, especially regarding such a hard topic, no matter how strong you are. It sounds like your DH is a great support. From all the posts I've read the one thing I've definitely learned about this whole process is there's no one way for any of it. If the natural plan is the route that fits you best then that's awesome. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to have zero reasons for why you're struggling and in my mind you're next to Superwoman. I would be a hot mess. I have a medical reason I can put my finger on and a title that goes with my TTC struggle and I'm still a hot mess at times. Hang in there. *hugs*
Thanks @ELeighMay it's not easy for anyone. Sounds weird but I'm actually glad I don't have a label to put on me. I'd rather us have normal tests than not. It can be frustrating. I find it's less frustrating when I don't track my cycles. Basically when I get in that sad mood I just need some yoga to snap me out of it.
its also hard but I know that if we did clomid I'd want monitoring which my OB doesn't do so I'd have to find an RE and its out of pocket for us. Told dh it would also stress me out financially. He said not to worry about that till next year when we said we would. I'm basically asking God for a huge favor! I can't talk to my mom cause she thinks I'm too old to be doing this and menopause is right around the corner so why do it.
vlagrl29 I hear you about the mother, mine is the same way. "Aren't you a little old to be starting with kids?". Seriously, like it's impacting her world in some way. I don't have anyone other than my DH for a support system either, so I'm very grateful for all you ladies.
The nurse talked to my doctor so they will go ahead and schedule a cd21 test which I thought was odd cause last time with old Doctor she did a 7 dpo test. I know my cd 21 isn't 7 days past ovulation. I don't want to question him because I question a lot and they probably think I'm nuts.
@vlagrl29 Do not hesitate to question, ESPECIALLY if you're OOP for the expense. When I was doing my IVF prep I was supposed to go in 7DPO to confirm ovulation so they scheduled me around CD21 but I knew I had O'd on CD 10 that cycle so I had to fight with the nurse to change my test date. She wouldn't so I had to email the doctor and fill her in and then the next day I magically got a call back from the nurse changing my test date to CD17. If you're tracking/temping and you know your cycle, push back. I've learned that in the fertility world, you REALLY need to be an advocate for yourself. Do not worry about being a PITA. It's your body and they're working for you.
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
so I took your advice and took a real test- and its positive. I'm sitting here shocked. DH is at work all night so I have to wait to tell him and we are leaving on a 7 day cruise Saturday with friends and I'm completely excited and terrified at the same time that I'm going to MC again.
Re: September TWW
katie121209 OMG, test again! I have used literally dozens of tests over the last two years knowing full well I'd have a negative each time. Not one time, on any brand did I get an evap line. I used everything from FRER to $store and nothing. I'm so hoping you're on your way out of here! FX
edited for spelling
pumpkinpancake I even sat and rationalized with myself this morning on how extremely stupid it was to even consider wasting a test knowing a BFN was in the works. What the ever loving hell? I just can't keep myself in check. I think because the FRER boxes say "Up to 6 days before AF" it automatically means that on that sixth day it'll show my BFP. At least I'm now out of tests and have no need to run to the store for anything else until AF so I'm now forced to just wait it out.
@ELeighMay unfortunately I have like 20 cheap HPT left because I bought in bulk after my mc so that I could know when the hcg was out of my system, so there’s no hope for me resisting the urge to POAS. *hangs head in shame...*
@katie121209 FX that you have some great news coming your way!!!
@vlagrl29 A lot of REs are moving away from Clomid and are switching to Femara which does not thin the uterine lining. I would ask your doctor about doing Femara instead of Clomid. I don't know about where you live, but Femara was cheaper than Clomid for me - the lowest dose was only $13 and that included the pharmacy dispensing fee. I also had crappy side effects on Clomid but barely anything on Femara.
@Racso12 Sorry about the BFN
@pumpkinpancake @ELeighMay You ladies crack me up. See, I've just decided to embrace the crazy since I know that I have no self control when it comes to POAS. I buy all the cheapies and pee to my heart's desire until AF shows. But I guess if you're someone that is really crushed/triggered by seeing the BFN then it's better to wait it out. I know I'm going to stress about it whether I pee or don't pee, so I gave up.
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Also am I wrong in my thinking that the reason you only take clomid 6 months is because it can really damage the lining of your uterus? My OB told me it's rare but 1 side effect is that it can hurt your ovary in such a way you have to get surgery on it. He told me that is a rare side effect but why did he tell me that? Puts on my paranoia even more.
Hoping that one of you ladies still “in” manages to get a BFP!
BFN for me this morning too, though I’m not surprised. I don’t even know why I’m POAS anymore. My temps have been so rocky this month I’m surprised FF didn’t take away my CH. Chart in spoiler if anyone wants to stalk it, but I’m seriously doubting now if I even o’d
On top of today’s BFN, I’m just feeling sad this morning bc DH left this morning for a conference and won’t be back until late Saturday. Usually i like some alone time, but I’m just not feeling it right now.
Racso12 I'm sorry for your BFN
sprkls8506 Not having insurance to cover anything really makes it hard. That's the only reason my DH and I have been making ourselves miserable TTC naturally. But it's also the reason we set a deadline for the misery should we not get a BFP.
leahcimmichael I'm sorry for your BFN. Don't you love scheduling BD? I already have my DH on "hold" for next months good dates just so he's on the same page. He'll have been on Clomid for a full month by then so I'm crossing everything possible that it's kick-started his production enough to rein in a solid BFP. SOOOO not realistic, but if I don't hang on to the tiny glimmer of hope I'd likely quit the process.
You'd think after the let-down yesterday that I'd allow myself to be out this month, but I spent a solid amount of time yesterday telling myself it was still early and "you never know". I have no idea why I'm doing this to myself. I'm 10dpo today and have exactly zero symptoms that I can't explain away. BSC laides, BSC.
I completely get what you mean about alone time! I used to love when DH went away for a couple days so I could do my introvert thing. Now alone time means time to think, and my thoughts aren’t generally a happy place to hang out these days... hope you find something to keep you occupied til your hubby gets home!
@leahcimmichael you even spot on the progesterone? This is my first month taking it after O.
@ELeighMay I wouldn’t even be thinking about it til after the new year.
@vlagrl29 I’m thinking I need to grab a BBT. I don’t want to but maybe I will.
@sprkls8506 - I'm only going to temp next month to confirm O. Decided to get prog test again in October.
Im officially crazy lol. I don't think I actually started spotting I was tired hadn't drank coffee and thought it was spotting but I had on my old backup stained underwear lol. So guess I'm still in it ha! Assuming AF will come this weekend though.
Everything I do, I do weird.
The last 2 days were kind of rainy here and I was finding myself a little bummed about the loss and not being pregnant again yet and always feel left wondering if it will ever happen or if I should just accept not being able to again. Talked to DH about it last night and I honestly haven't gotten upset about it since July and feeling really rather strong but I guess I'm still allowed to have weak moments. I did get a little emotional to DH and he hates seeing me like that. I was telling him my thought process - I have weak moments where I doubt the natural TTC plan we are doing and wonder if it's just a waste of time then I think but I'm scared to take medicine because what if something bad happens? Then I go to the fact I don't have much time left. He asks me "are you planning on going somewhere" lol He did tell me last night he is disappointed we haven't had a 2nd kid because he thought we'd always have 2. Then I ask him "but what if it's not ever meant to be? then he asks me "but what if it is?"
I'm sure all of this is pre AF hormones getting wacky.
Then I remind myself to keep it together and remain strong. I go thru all the things in life I'm grateful for and how I need to enjoy that.
its also hard but I know that if we did clomid I'd want monitoring which my OB doesn't do so I'd have to find an RE and its out of pocket for us. Told dh it would also stress me out financially. He said not to worry about that till next year when we said we would. I'm basically asking God for a huge favor! I can't talk to my mom cause she thinks I'm too old to be doing this and menopause is right around the corner so why do it.
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
so I took your advice and took a real test- and its positive. I'm sitting here shocked. DH is at work all night so I have to wait to tell him and we are leaving on a 7 day cruise Saturday with friends and I'm completely excited and terrified at the same time that I'm going to MC again.