I took a test the morning of our pigroast just to make sure I could drink convinced it would be negative (we "tried" one time the day I wouldn't stop talking about having a third). I literally almost passed out when i saw it was positive. I called him from outside and told him he better come talk to me and showed him lol. Not a cute way but when it's the third surprise baby that's what you get!
With our first, I only tested because I was going to a weekend long bachelorette drink fest. My husband was basically in shock for two days. Crazy how things work out sometimes!
I told my partner last night and he's not okay with it. We talked about it and he says that he's not ready at all and he wants me to get a termination. I'm just so upset. I understand where he's coming from but I'd just like him to say whatever you want I'll support you, but nope. We agreed that we'd take some time and just think and get used to the idea, I'm hoping that it's the initial shock and he'll come around but I really don't know
@CraftyG I'm sorry you're going through that. It's a lot of stress to be dealing with right now. Make the decision that's right for you, either way that makes sense to you.
This was a surprise for us too. I woke up at about 5am and just had this thought I was pregnant. Took 2 tests, both faint positives? Then was too excited to sleep. Managed not to wake DH, but told him as soon as he woke up. He was all sort of bleary eyed and half asleep and just said: oh. He's excited now though! Lol
I got up for work before my husband rbag dag and peed on the stick. It came up positive so after he got out of the shower i peeked my head in rhe bathroom and told him i had a suprise for him. He closef his eyes and when he opened them i said im pregnant! He to just said oh. We were trying so it shouldn't have been a shock to him. Hes a litgle more excited now and is going to my first apt with me on friday!
Oh @CraftyG, I'm sorry he feels that way. No matter what, do what's right for you. If that means he signs his rights over and you rock as a single mom then you do you. It's your body. You get to make the choice. I'm so sorry he's put you in the position to make that choice though.
@CraftyG I'm so sorry about his reaction. I hope you two are able to have some constructive discussions and reach a decision that you're both comfortable with. I second what everyone else said, though, you have to do what you feel is right, it's your body. I feel like it's very common for men to have a lot of fears and disconnect from the baby since they're not feeling symptoms and since you don't look pregnant yet. Hopefully this resolves. You will be in my thoughts.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
@CraftyG I'm sorry. That sounds like a really tough thing to have to deal with. I echo everything the ladies just said above. Do what feels right in your heart.
Thank you everyone for your comments, it really means a lot! I'm just stuck, I love him and all I want is for him to be happy and the last thing I want is to push him into something as big as fatherhood. But then again I don't think I would ever be able to forgive myself and sacrifice my happiness if I ended this pregnancy and surely he should understand that. I am just praying that once the shock wears off and he thinks about this from my point of view he'll come around.
I told him that I was bummed I was meeting my friends out for drinks because I couldn't drink. I then said I felt bad because work was just slowing down for him and now things might be a bit stressful again... At this point he was so confused. I showed him the pregnancy test and he started crying
We weren't trying because we didn't think it could happen. Testing is just routine for us now because with irregular periods, we've always got our fingers crossed. He was there when I bought the tests, and kept telling me not to get my hopes up. Every day, as the line got darker, he acted skeptical, until one day he grabbed my boob and I winced in pain. He said, "What? Are you pregnant or something?" With a big grin on his face.
I bought a shirt from target awhile ago that said, "Promoted to Big Brother." This was like back in June before I even got my IUD removed. I took a test on Labor Day, and there was like the faintest line you've ever seen. I decided to wait until the afternoon and test again. Second line was way more obvious. My husband and son were eating a snack. I handed him the shirt and said, "I think he can wear this now!" He was happy but kind of surprised because I told him I didn't think it was going to happen this month.
I just found out today and it hasn't really hit me yet. We weren't trying and even though he loves kids I'm scared he will be upset. We haven't been in the best place lately and right about the time I conceived, I moved out and got my own place. *TW* I haven't told him yet and given my track record I might not have to.
I had bought a "big sister" shirt as soon as we decided to start trying, so the day I got my BFP I put it on her after I got home from work so he would see it when he got home. It actually took him about 30 minutes until He realized what it said
Aw some of these are soooo cute!! I took a test while DH was still at work, it took all of my will power to not send him a 911 text to call me immediately. Haha... but I ran to target and got a "promoted to big brother" shirt for our son, and came home and showed him my purchase!
I was not up for a big cute reveal cause I did that in June and had a m/c... so I was not into it. This time I just said: "I'm pregnant again! Good work Buddy!" and slapped him on the back.
I told him the night before I was probably going to POAS the next morning. Then he followed up as we were getting ready for work haha.
With our second I just told him in the morning after I POAS.
With our first we were at a wedding in New Orleans and I wanted to know if I could drink (wedding was the next day). I think my period was like four days late and we had gotten pregnant on our first month of trying so I was majorly in denial. I told him I felt tired and asked him to run to the CVS for a test. He did and I took both and then denied the lines and we both went back and I got the kind that says "pregnant" and a ginger ale. Did I mention the denial?
Called him while he was on the shuttle to the airport to come home from a work trip. I said, "Do you want something to think about on the plane on the way home?" because I figured it was better than hitting him up with it after 11 pm.
I learned not to be dramatic after the first time around when I asked him (when we were about ot go to sleep) to guess how many people were in the room, and when I said "Three!" he freaked out because he thought someone was hiding under the bed.
I am in public and cannot stop laughing out loud at this. Pretty sure everyone around me thinks I'm nuts.
I had cried all day long over the school bus schedule 2 days before and couldn't sleep for a few days, so I was pretty sure. I POAS on between organizing a closet and Jim costing a fantasy football team (he's not into it, my bil begged him). I asked when he would have a break, showed him the line.
We got the only child expiring shirt last time. My bil thought it meant expiring like dying. I'm not comfortable knowing he thinks I would put that on a shirt.
He was waiting to use the bathroom in the morning so I just called him in and handed him the still-warm pee stick. So romantic. This is #4 so there is no way I coukd keep it a secret. He knows me too well.
I had intended on having DD help draw him cards that said Big Sis and PREGO, but I forgot to hide the test, so he knew before I got to show him the pictures. He was happy, but kept saying to "not get too excited". Way to be a party pooper! TW We lost our first baby very early, so he's always been cautious emotionally.
I haven't told SO yet either. I am leaning towards a shirt or something along those lines so DS can be involved. It's no secret to SO that we could conceive since I had my IUD removed at the end of July, we both said we were ready to start trying for baby #2, this is probably a little sooner than he imagined it would happen though.
This was so special for us as we had a FET from IVF and are meant to wait until the blood test, not test at home. After the shock and sadness of the last BFN after embryo transder I wanted time to process in advance. I decided this after an emotional church service that morning and going out to lunch with a girlfriend who I *know* is pregnant.
So it didn't even have my morning pee. We got home, I retched at hubby's bad breath (should have been a clue lol as he's a clean guy) and took 2 wondfo's that we both looked at and decided negative. 10 mins later I thought let's use the expensive Clearblue weeks secretly. DH was chilling out in bed and I didn't expect to see "pregnant 1-2" I silently and slowly walked over and held the test up to him. Crying and hugging ensued. I was 3 weeks 3 days! Our blood test was 3 days later.
We got to surprise our families who were nervously waiting for the blood test. We got them on a video call and then would send a picture of us holding the stick and some knitted booties. It was the best thing ever to have that surprise factor and POAS at home experience.
I had bought a shirt that said "did we just become best friends" and a onesie that said "yep" the month we started trying. So I put DD in the shirt (which was too small, freaking Gerber brand but we made it work) for when he got home from work. He totally didn't get it and kept asking if he had a matching shirt, until I put the onesie over my stomach. I got it all on video too
I said "I'm going to go take a shit" and then while shitting said shit, dug in the garbage can for the test I'd taken a few hours prior and tossed bc it didn't turn in 30 seconds. Ran downstairs and shoved it in his face while talking like the Micro Machines man (anyone over 35 in here?)
TheSouffleGirl - I love your DH's reaction the first time around. Makes me think of the movie Idle Hands with people under the bed.
There are a lot of great stories! It warms my heart to hear about how excited the dads are. My DH was very low key when I told him, he was in the shower and I said I had something to show him. I showed him the pregnancy test and he smiled. He is pretty apprehensive after our loss.
We both watched the early pregnancy test develop together because I had a suspicion I might be pregnant this month. The faint line appeared. I became ecstatic. He insisted that it was not a line. I spent most of the rest of the night trying to explain that it was a BFP. We'd been trying for over a year, so I'd seen a lot of BFNs and knew what they looked like, but I hadn't bothered to show those negative sticks to him. I showed pictures online of pregnancy tests day by day where the line progressively got darker, and he suggested they had confirmation bias, because people like posting pictures of successful pregnancy tests.
I went to sleep, and in the morning had enough hormones to make a digital test read 'Pregnant'. I handed it to him -- he made an ecstatic face and gave me a hug. If we ever get pregnant again I think I'll just make him a cake. It's hard to argue with a cake.
We have four kids. I woke him up from a deep sleep in tears. All good now, but holy cow was not quite ready for that. I was about to sell all of our baby gear at a consignment sale (my youngest is 2). I was crying mostly because I had just spent HOURS tagging all of that s***. If you've ever tagged for a sale, you totally know what I mean.
Married DH : 7/7/12; 3 fur babies (2 dogs and 1 cat) DS born 9/3/13; DD born 7/22/15; LO due 5/28/18 FS (age 5) and FD (age 2) to become AS/AD very soon!
Same here. I was like "I think I see something. Do you see it? Omg. I see it, I swear I do!"
He didn't believe it. HE made me pee on all the things for the next couple of days. I guess that's what IF does to you.....
2/12: 100 mg Clomid + Bravelle last minute+ back to back IUI. BFN 3/12 150mg Clomid + B2B IUI =BFP!! TWINS! Vanishing twin at week 6 Tater-tot born January 3rd 2013
2 IUI's in 2016- BFN 3 IUI's in 2017- BFN 8/17 IUI BFP!!!!!!!!
Being the planner that I am, as soon as we decided to "see what happens" I had some custom fortune cookies made. Inside I had them write "Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm pregnant" on the fortune slip. I called DH on his way home from work and said I was in the mood for Chinese and asked how he felt about doing takeout after the girls went to bed. Then I switched out the fortunes that came with our takeout for the ones I had made.
I was pretty proud of myself for managing to keep it in all day while he was at work, an additional 4 hours waiting for the girls bedtime, and THEN sitting through the entire meal without blabbing the news first.
Oh my gosh, I wanted to do a reveal this time since I totally blew my chance with DD, and The Man did NOT get it! I've had a shirt that says "This is what an AWESOME SISTER looks like" for four months, and when I found out my daughter and I went a bought a cake just in case the shirt was too subtle. The cake read: I'm Totally Pregnant! I told DD we had to let daddy figure it out and follow the clues, and she held out for longer than I expected given that she's 3 and over the moon about finally being a sister. He came home, didn't notice the shirt (much to DDs dismay), so we sat down for dinner. After we'd been eating for about 15 mins she was like "hey dad, read my shirt!" But he only saw -er so he was like "awesome daughter? Yes, you are!" And she was like, "no...SISTER." And he was like, "oh. You ARE going to be an awesome sister...one day." And she was like "no, I'm a sister NOW." And he was like "oh, okay." And it still took a minute to clue in. Long work day apparently.
But then there was lots of hugging and tears and joy. With DD climbing us like a bean pole to be in the middle of it all.
I bought a shirt for DS that says "I'm the big brother". On Sunday morning I put it on my little man and started making breakfast. I kept sending DS into our bedroom to ask daddy things hoping DH would notice the shirt. He didn't. When breakfast was ready, DH helped DS into his chair and STILL he didn't notice. Finally I got impatient and told DS to show his daddy his shirt. DH was excited. In his defense, he had just gotten off his 24hr shift so I'll give him a pass.
My husband was trying to get our daughter to nap on the rocking chair while I was in the bathroom taking the test. She was fighting the nap hard.. crying, screaming, pushing away from him.. and I just barged in and shoved the positive result in his face. We both laughed until we cried and then it was the 3 of us crying on one chair! Quite the scene!
Since we had been trying for this baby, he was already on point about when AF was supposed to arrive. When she didn’t show by her date, he already knew what was happening. I waited until 3 days went by to make sure she wasn’t just running late and ran to the store to grab a test (he came with.) I came home, fixed dinner for the kids and then poas. He was waiting by the door. Lol. Got our big “pregnant” on that stick and the rest is history. Lol. This is our first planned baby so it’s really weird to see him so interested. Not saying he wasn’t interested with our other kids, it’s just that they were surprises that happened at not the best of times so he wasn’t as thrilled about the baby news. Lol. This go round, we’d been trying for a few months and had said that if we didn’t get that bfp during that cycle, we stop trying for a while. Low and behold, we got our bfp. This baby was meant to be
I bought some new clothes for DD1, and made him go through them one by one (to make sure he was actually paying attention) The last shirt said "Big Sister" and I had taped the positive test to it. And get this.. he didn't "get it"!!!! Lol He was like, "oh this is cool, where'd you get it?".... I'm like I had told him earlier that day that I had started my cycle (to throw off suspicion) so in his mind, I couldn't be pregnant. He thought I got it for whenever I DO become pregnant, lol. He was elated once it dawned on him. ;P He's been wanting me to get KU pretty much since I popped out DD1.
With our 1st we had just returned from Amsterdam and I realized I needed to test, so I did and then took it out to him and we both cried. My tears had some guilt in them because... Amsterdam. But she turned out a-OK!
With DD2 it was around Christmas so I stuck the pee stick in his stocking and he loved that.
This time I was so nervous because this is a bit of a surprise- I hadn't really decided if I wanted a 3rd- so I POAS and had him tell me. When he told me I started bawling, not exactly with pure joy. I just feel overwhelmed with two already and that last one was such a hard baby I feel like I haven't fully recovered... but I'm getting there and I really am excited for this LO!
With DD I decided to POAS two days before my period because my mom thought the cold and had caught (just after a plane trip in late December, mind you) was surely a sign I was pregnant. I thought she was full of crap, but I POAS anyway. I had to call DH to come back home because he'd just left for work, and it was the big ol' positive plus sign. I just handed him the test. He was very excited!
This time DH told me I was "acting pregnant" and asked me to take a test. I agreed I would the next day (which, funnily enough, was 2 days before AF was due again). So I POAS, and got that positive 2 parallel lines. I brought it back to DH in bed, he looked at it, said "ok," and fell back asleep. He thought it was a BFN because it wasn't a plus sign! He was happy once the mix-up was realized.
I can't keep a secret from him long enough to ever do anything cute
So AF sort of came but was really light and not normal for me. So DH and I were at the drug store and I said I wanted to buy some tests just to see (we've been trying for a few months). He said not to, he didn't want me to be disappointed again. I bought them anyway
Re: How did you tell the father?
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
I told him the night before I was probably going to POAS the next morning. Then he followed up as we were getting ready for work haha.
With our second I just told him in the morning after I POAS.
With our first we were at a wedding in New Orleans and I wanted to know if I could drink (wedding was the next day). I think my period was like four days late and we had gotten pregnant on our first month of trying so I was majorly in denial. I told him I felt tired and asked him to run to the CVS for a test. He did and I took both and then denied the lines and we both went back and I got the kind that says "pregnant" and a ginger ale. Did I mention the denial?
We got the only child expiring shirt last time. My bil thought it meant expiring like dying. I'm not comfortable knowing he thinks I would put that on a shirt.
BFP 2/25/14 EDD 11/5/14 BD 11/4/14
BFP 8/26/17 EDD 5/5/18
After the shock and sadness of the last BFN after embryo transder I wanted time to process in advance. I decided this after an emotional church service that morning and going out to lunch with a girlfriend who I *know* is pregnant.
So it didn't even have my morning pee. We got home, I retched at hubby's bad breath (should have been a clue lol as he's a clean guy) and took 2 wondfo's that we both looked at and decided negative. 10 mins later I thought let's use the expensive Clearblue weeks secretly. DH was chilling out in bed and I didn't expect to see "pregnant 1-2" I silently and slowly walked over and held the test up to him. Crying and hugging ensued.
I was 3 weeks 3 days! Our blood test was 3 days later.
We got to surprise our families who were nervously waiting for the blood test. We got them on a video call and then would send a picture of us holding the stick and some knitted booties. It was the best thing ever to have that surprise factor and POAS at home experience.
TheSouffleGirl - I love your DH's reaction the first time around. Makes me think of the movie Idle Hands with people under the bed.
There are a lot of great stories! It warms my heart to hear about how excited the dads are. My DH was very low key when I told him, he was in the shower and I said I had something to show him. I showed him the pregnancy test and he smiled. He is pretty apprehensive after our loss.
I went to sleep, and in the morning had enough hormones to make a digital test read 'Pregnant'. I handed it to him -- he made an ecstatic face and gave me a hug. If we ever get pregnant again I think I'll just make him a cake. It's hard to argue with a cake.
DS born 9/3/13; DD born 7/22/15; LO due 5/28/18
FS (age 5) and FD (age 2) to become AS/AD very soon!
He didn't believe it. HE made me pee on all the things for the next couple of days. I guess that's what IF does to you.....
3/12 150mg Clomid + B2B IUI =BFP!! TWINS!
Vanishing twin at week 6
Tater-tot born January 3rd 2013
2 IUI's in 2016- BFN
3 IUI's in 2017- BFN
8/17 IUI BFP!!!!!!!!
I was pretty proud of myself for managing to keep it in all day while he was at work, an additional 4 hours waiting for the girls bedtime, and THEN sitting through the entire meal without blabbing the news first.
But he only saw -er so he was like "awesome daughter? Yes, you are!" And she was like, "no...SISTER." And he was like, "oh. You ARE going to be an awesome sister...one day." And she was like "no, I'm a sister NOW." And he was like "oh, okay." And it still took a minute to clue in. Long work day apparently.
But then there was lots of hugging and tears and joy. With DD climbing us like a bean pole to be in the middle of it all.
With our 1st we had just returned from Amsterdam and I realized I needed to test, so I did and then took it out to him and we both cried. My tears had some guilt in them because... Amsterdam. But she turned out a-OK!
With DD2 it was around Christmas so I stuck the pee stick in his stocking and he loved that.
This time I was so nervous because this is a bit of a surprise- I hadn't really decided if I wanted a 3rd- so I POAS and had him tell me. When he told me I started bawling, not exactly with pure joy. I just feel overwhelmed with two already and that last one was such a hard baby I feel like I haven't fully recovered... but I'm getting there and I really am excited for this LO!
This time DH told me I was "acting pregnant" and asked me to take a test. I agreed I would the next day (which, funnily enough, was 2 days before AF was due again). So I POAS, and got that positive 2 parallel lines. I brought it back to DH in bed, he looked at it, said "ok," and fell back asleep. He thought it was a BFN because it wasn't a plus sign! He was happy once the mix-up was realized.
I can't keep a secret from him long enough to ever do anything cute