Name Regrets

npkat

I asked this in another thread but got interest to start as a new one.

Do any of the STMs+ have any name regrets? As in, you named your child and later on you thought hmm I don't like it or that just wasn't quite right? We've had a boy and girl named picked out for quite awhile, and I've never second guessed them. Well now that it's actually happening, I sometimes think is this really a good name, will they like it, will it still fit well when they're older, it is too boring, etc.

Has anyone else felt this way?! Thanks! 

jessilee15

Kind of? I don't love my son's legal first name; it's my husband's family name. But I like his nickname...

[Deleted User]

Also feel free to tell stories of your friends/family who have experienced this!


I had a friend who's father's family came from Lebanon so she always assumed she was half Lebanese.  She named her son a very Lebanese sounding name.  Then 1 or 2 years ago she had their genes tested from 23 and me.  My friend is only 8% Lebanese, her son is like 3%.  He is basically a typical European kid with a super ethnic name that doesn't match his actual heritage.  

HappyMonkey817

Sort of. I love my daughter's name, but so many people mishear it and it drives me bonkers. Her name is Emlyn. It's Welsh, like my husband. So many people think her name is Emily. Emily is a fine name, but it's not HER name. People hear what they're used to, no matter how much I enunciate. When they finally hear it correctly, they usually love it.

brettanomyces

No regrets on my dd's name but the boy's name we had picked I'm now realizing I don't love it. We were going to use it because it was H's late father's name so I felt like we were obligated. H agreed it could be a middle name though if this one turns out to ba a boy. 

LaurenAnn0405

I wasn't sure about DS's name right up until I was in the delivery room (it was a name I had picked out as a teenager during my dreaming of my future family days) but I gave it to him and it's perfect.  I had always wanted Elizabeth as a girls name but my cousin's name is Elizabeth so DH vetoed that but I love DD's name too.  I think both of them fit the names perfectly!

ladybugsamom

I actually regret not giving DD the middle name we initially wanted.  We wanted to give her Elise as a middle name but we had some close friends at the time who just had a daughter and they named her Alyse (pronounced the same).  They really didn't like the idea of us using the name, so we didn't (out of respect).

Fast forward 10 years and those "friends" have moved away, we have seen or heard from them in years, and the kids don't even remember each other.  I do love the middle name we ended up with, but it wasn't my first choice.  If I could do it all over again, we would have just gone with the name we wanted and not cared about what they thought.

ShawnnaO

I love my daughters name. My husband waited until after she was born and we had named her to tell me he didn't like it. Like seriously? I was livid. Tell me BEFORE we have the baby so we can AGREE on a name instead of playing along for nine months and THEN telling me. 

I still love it, and honestly, the name suits her so well, which my husband agrees on. He loves her middle name, so there's that 

savedbygrace1213

Here's my dilemma... DH, DD and my name all start with J. (hence the screen name) I somewhat regret naming my daughter a J name because now I feel like we have to name this next baby a J name. I did not necessarily want us all to have our names start with J, but I feel like if we name our next child something other than, then he/she will feel like the odd one out... 

crossfitbabybump

I am a FTM but I know my name is KIERSTEN pronounced K-ear-Sten. But I get Kirsten - Ker-sten or Kristen all the time... like Kirsten I understand but Kristen? Take the time to read the name and see how it's spelled! So I am going to try to not do this to my babies. I know how annoying it is to have people mispronounce it all... the... time. -_-

mdfarmchick

So we had a girl name picked out easily with DS and then I knew it would be a boy because we couldn't agree on a boy name. Haha. And it was. We firmly decided on his name by 6 months pregnant but we didn't tell anyone and we had a back up name because I was worried that I'd see him and the name wouldn't fit... We didn't need the back up name after all. And his name fits him perfectly.

ladybugsamom

triplejplus1 said:

Here's my dilemma... DH, DD and my name all start with J. (hence the screen name) I somewhat regret naming my daughter a J name because now I feel like we have to name this next baby a J name. I did not necessarily want us all to have our names start with J, but I feel like if we name our next child something other than, then he/she will feel like the odd one out... 

@triplejplus1 I'm in the same boat.  I decided, for some reason, to give my two boys "A" names and now I feel obligated to give this baby an "A" name, too.  There are a couple "A" names that I really like, but the one I love, DH hates because he feels like it's a girl name (Adrian).  Ironically, the "A" name that he loves, actually is a popular girl name right now (Avery).  While I don't hate, Avery, I feel like I'm compromising and we could do much better if we hadn't stuck with the "A" theme the entire time.

savedbygrace1213

@ladybugsamom ugh.. as if baby naming isn't hard enough! I have several names on my list that aren't J names and I feel like I should just forget about them all so the kid doesn't feel left out. That or have several more babies that I can name with a different letter as well! 

ladybugsamom

@triplejplus1 I'm actually thinking of biting the bullet and giving this baby a different letter.  I'll have to get DH on board first, though.  I think if it's really important to you, you should also consider using a different letter.  I don't think your baby will feel like the odd one out - especially if you take time to give him/her a name with significance and meaning.  

[Deleted User]

ladybugsamom said:

triplejplus1 said:

Here's my dilemma... DH, DD and my name all start with J. (hence the screen name) I somewhat regret naming my daughter a J name because now I feel like we have to name this next baby a J name. I did not necessarily want us all to have our names start with J, but I feel like if we name our next child something other than, then he/she will feel like the odd one out... 

@triplejplus1 I'm in the same boat.  I decided, for some reason, to give my two boys "A" names and now I feel obligated to give this baby an "A" name, too.  There are a couple "A" names that I really like, but the one I love, DH hates because he feels like it's a girl name (Adrian).  Ironically, the "A" name that he loves, actually is a popular girl name right now (Avery).  While I don't hate, Avery, I feel like I'm compromising and we could do much better if we hadn't stuck with the "A" theme the entire time.

Is it because he saw Rocky?

I feel like every girl I've met spells it Adrienne.  Adrian is the male version.

ladybugsamom

@antoto Yes - that's part of it.  Plus his female cousin's name is Adrienne.  He's only known females named Adrienne whereas I've only known males named Adrian.  

ETA: Since it's pronounced the same way and he doesn't know any males named Adrian, he only associates it with females.

savedbygrace1213

ladybugsamom said:

@antoto Yes - that's part of it.  Plus his female cousin's name is Adrienne.  He's only known females named Adrienne whereas I've only known males named Adrian.  

ETA: Since it's pronounced the same way and he doesn't know any males named Adrian, he only associates it with females.

yes, I've thought about just naming this child with whatever name I think will fit the most.. weather its a different letter or the same. 

Also, DH is the same about the name Reece or Rhys. I've known a few guys named Reece and like it for a boy. And he has never met a Reece and only associates with females because the only Reece he's heard of is Witherspoon 

vflux33

@ladybugsamom That's so weird--I've only met male Adrians, never met a female Adrienne. As for you and @triplejplus1 I feel like breaking the letter mold may make the kid feel cool and unique instead of "left out". Or he/she may not even notice or think of it that way. My niece, my sister, and my former BIL (father of her children) all have A names and my nephew has an E name and he seems totally fine with it. He's 6. I don't think it ever occurred to him to feel left out and I doubt it will matter to him when he's older. 

pettycrocker

We randomly decided on Natalia for DD1, we were so sure she was going to be a boy, we hadn't even considered girl names.. When she was born I cried because I thought she looking nothing like a Natalia- really now I couldn't imagine her by any other name. DD1 named her sister Naviana (A combination of her friend's Giavanna and Nevaeh's names) and everyone calls her Pie. I would never be able to say I regret a name that my then 4 year old was so smitten with. 

ShawnnaO

@pettycrocker that's such a beautiful name! And your friends daughters name is beautiful! And the nickname omg it's just all so cute. 

My brothers initials spell ASS. My mom never realized until his teacher called her one day because she had instructed the class to write their initials on the paper and she had thought my brother was swearing. 

ladybugsamom

@vflux33  I like thinking of it that way.  I've gotta figure out a way to get DH on board now. lol

ksmwalters

I'm a FTM, but I *love* names and am fascinated by them. My short list has a lot of "out there" names that my husband is iffy on. (He's a 3rd, and I think having a very traditional name makes him nervous about less common names.) If anyone wants inspiration/to nerd out w/r/t names, check out the Name Nerd column on LaineyGossip. (https://www.laineygossip.com/Name-Nerd/Lifestyle/Category/1284) People write in and ask her advice on naming their babies. (And occasionally pets!) The author actually also has a book called The Name Therapist that I read recently. 

DDRRT1982

I kind of hope my parents regret my name.  It's been a pain the ass.  

JamieK1882

I sometimes still wonder if I picked the right name for my second daughter. Her name is Viviana, and we call her Vivi. I love her nickname, but am not always sure about the full name.

becausescience

Love DD's name, but currently second guessing our other girl name as it is really popular...

amylonghorn

@ShawnnaO your brother's initials story cracked me up!! My initials are ALF, but I married into that. With DD, I wanted to pass down my middle name, which would be its 4th generation in use, so DD's initials are ELF. I did try to keep the initials in mind when picking names, like an M name would have made her initials MLF and that's way too close to MILF. I always tried to think of any and every way names or initials could get made fun of and tried to avoid ones that came to mind. No regrets here so far!!

megpeg

I regret DS's name it fits him but when you look at his first and middle name it looks like a girl name- Gabriel Lee everyone sees and Gabrielle. I didn't realize it until he was a month old.

itsmemario

@ShawnnaO My cousin's initials are ASS and his parents did it on purpose!!! They are... different.

fatstagnation

I used to work for an MD named Peter Pang. He's a great doctor and a great boss! But I've always secretly thought "man, you're parents didn't know much English when they named you, huh?"
Initials are PP, Dr. Pang sound the same as Dr. Pain (not parents' decision but still amusing), and it's one letter off from Peter Pan...

DH's last name starts with P, and that's the one "rule" I have  so far. No PP for initials. 

dudeseriously

I love the names we have chosen for all the kids. BUT if this 4th kiddo is a girl IDK what we will do. Both our girls have flowers in their names, Bethany Rose and Lily Marie. Then we have family names for our son, Robert Clay and we call him Clay.
We can't/ could never agree on other flower names that work with the middle name we want for another girl. I love Violet, but my husband pronounces it weird and it sounds like he is saying violent.. so that is out.
Boy names are tricky because we are running out of family names to use, and DH has vetoed just about all the names I have liked along the way. 
I don't want a jr.. because DH's middle name is my birth father's name and that is no bueno to me.
We will see, DH swears this one is a girl, I have no twinges either way. 

ksmwalters

@JamieK1882 Ohh I love Viviana! Might be because Vivian/Vivienne with the nickname Vivi is high on my girl name list but I think it's beautiful! 

savedbygrace1213

@dudeseriously If I have another girl I really want her middle name to be Iris after my grandmother. But I am having a hard time finding names that sound good with it. The only names I've found so far that sound good are names that start with a vowel.. Ellie Iris, Emma Iris..  We also live in her old house and there she had irises planted everywhere!

[Deleted User]

fatstagnation said:

I used to work for an MD named Peter Pang. He's a great doctor and a great boss! But I've always secretly thought "man, you're parents didn't know much English when they named you, huh?"
Initials are PP, Dr. Pang sound the same as Dr. Pain (not parents' decision but still amusing), and it's one letter off from Peter Pan...

DH's last name starts with P, and that's the one "rule" I have  so far. No PP for initials. 

Hmmmm not sure I like the idea of this thread turning into making fun of non European last names.  And it's entirely possible that guy's parents weren't familiar with western culture (not necessarily the English language, I don't think that's a fair assumption) and I kind of think that's a weird thing to make fun of.  

Maybe unless we know parents regretted their decision we shouldn't just start making fun of names...

babybluu

DDs name is Gianna. I dont regret her name but sometimes wonder if she looks like a "Gianna". The boy and girl names we have picked out are our name "leftovers" from dd. I'm afraid we will just settling if we choose those names 

day38

No name regrets with our son, it was literally the ONLY boy name we agreed on. For girls, we had top 3 options.

But, I'm seriously compromising with #2. My husband's grandmother passed away 2 years ago, and based on tradition we pretty much have to use a name that starts with the first letter of her name, so we're stuck with G. The name also has to work in English and another language (neither of us were born in the US, both immigrated as young kids but speak our other language fluently and at home so our kids will be bilingual). All these considerations really limit our options, and I don't really like any choices. 

LaurenAnn0405

@triplejplus1 I love the name Emma!  I hadn't thought of that before, I might bring that up to DH tonight.  I also think it's nice to incorporate your grandmother's name in there, DD has my grandmother's middle name (which is also my mom's middle name) as her middle name and DS has my grandfather's first name as his middle name, I think it's a nice way to remember and honor family

fatstagnation

antoto said:

fatstagnation said:

I used to work for an MD named Peter Pang. He's a great doctor and a great boss! But I've always secretly thought "man, you're parents didn't know much English when they named you, huh?"
Initials are PP, Dr. Pang sound the same as Dr. Pain (not parents' decision but still amusing), and it's one letter off from Peter Pan...

DH's last name starts with P, and that's the one "rule" I have  so far. No PP for initials. 

Hmmmm not sure I like the idea of this thread turning into making fun of non European last names.  And it's entirely possible that guy's parents weren't familiar with western culture (not necessarily the English language, I don't think that's a fair assumption) and I kind of think that's a weird thing to make fun of.  

Maybe unless we know parents regretted their decision we shouldn't just start making fun of names...

Um, didn't mean to "make fun of non European last names." Many of us, including myself, have posted about our concerns that our kids names work in multiple cultures. And yes, language is only a part of a culture. 

I see now that my story didn't come across right, and I apologize if I offended anyone. 

riansmommie

I don't really have any name regrets for our kiddos. Our DD, her name is part of my name, and she has the 16th generation of our middle name (Rian Justine, pronounced justvlike Ryan). Our 1st son was easy for us to name. Hubby wanted a junior and I vetoed that super quick, but said initials and middle name were fine, so we ended up with Jameson Mitchell. Our 2nd son just took us going through names for a few nights. We fell in love with His middle name first and his first name was decided pretty quickly after that. So Brantley Wyatt, it fits him to a tee, though we call him by his nickname more than we do his name. 

Only name regrets I have is my own lol. Having the initials BJ through out school and then marrying into BJS has made me hate writing my initials out.

vflux33

@ShawnnaO All our kids are gonna have SS as middle and last initials so we ruled "A" names out fast! I don't mind initials that have meaning though. I'm "VS" and I always kinda liked how my initials meant something. We're naming one of our kids with a "P" so he or she will be PSS. 

stardustskies

triplejplus1 said:

yes, I've thought about just naming this child with whatever name I think will fit the most.. weather its a different letter or the same. 

Also, DH is the same about the name Reece or Rhys. I've known a few guys named Reece and like it for a boy. And he has never met a Reece and only associates with females because the only Reece he's heard of is Witherspoon 

Rhys was one of the first boy named I brought up to my husband and he shot it down immediately saying that it's a girl's name.

HappyMonkey817

sarahhedger7 said:

triplejplus1 said:

yes, I've thought about just naming this child with whatever name I think will fit the most.. weather its a different letter or the same. 

Also, DH is the same about the name Reece or Rhys. I've known a few guys named Reece and like it for a boy. And he has never met a Reece and only associates with females because the only Reece he's heard of is Witherspoon 

Rhys was one of the first boy named I brought up to my husband and he shot it down immediately saying that it's a girl's name.

My nephew is Rhys.