@Mudge85 OMGGGG meeeee tooooo! My FI makes fun of me for it, but honestly I LOVE the ISH out of her! And honestly I thought it was tomorrow, so I am pretty sure you just made my day hahaha! I needed that after today so far lol.
@Cricket99@bainidhedub Same -- and if I can't find a source link, I don't even bother to read the listicle, because they're usually non-functional on my phone anyway.
Gender reveal parties are not my thing. I think it's weird to throw a whole party/make a production out of a baby's biology.
But I hate people who are shitty about people having them. Like, moreso than I dislike the reveals themselves. It's unrealistic to say, "My baby has vulva but I won't assign them a gender until they decide it." Especially when one can raise a kid without gendered constraints, teach them the important things about the difference between biological sex and gender -- and fuckin' also buy a tutu sometimes because it floats their boat.
The assumption that a parent cannot recognize that children are often very gender-fluid, and that a parent is capable of recognizing and respecting a child's eventual choices regarding gender presentation, if said parent also want to throw a pink or blue party is reductive bullshit and I'm not here for it. Fuckin' let people enjoy things, especially things that are changing their life on a big way.
@Cricket99@bainidhedub Same -- and if I can't find a source link, I don't even bother to read the listicle, because they're usually non-functional on my phone anyway.
This is what I should do but I never really got into/figured out Reddit. The aggregator sites are the worst, buggiest, ad-ridden things out there right now.
Because we just got back from the Children's Museum.. I don't get the child leashes. I understand they probably help with kids who tend to run, but personally I don't think I'd ever use one.
@schaze I totally agree, but then I heard about child predators in retail places (Target, Walmart, etc.). Yes, you watch your kids, but I have heard (once from firsthand account, otherwise hearsay) that kids who run under clothing racks or around an aisle and hide from parents can be the first to be targeted. Still not saying I would get one and probably wouldn't, but hearing these stories changed my perspective entirely.
@schaze I was really against them, too. That said, we caved. It's a little backpack with removable leash (it sounds so bad I know lol). I worry about being judged when I use it, which truly isn't that often. But my reason for having it: my son, who isn't quite 2 yet, is very independent. He can walk, and wants to walk, but he doesn't listen. He's not shy to strangers and he's fearless and loves to explore. He doesn't care if we are nearby or not, he's going to take off! He's also a big boy at 35 pounds. So it basically keeps me from having to carry him everywhere, because he WILL run off, and gives him a little freedom. However, I would never use it in a children's museum....kid's freedom to play and explore is kinda the point in there.
My UO: I love our semi old-fashioned way of living and don't think there's anything wrong with depending on a man. DH works hard outside of the home and I work hard within it and it works for us!!
ETA: Also excited about Taylor Swift's new music! Couldn't hate it if I tried to lol it's always sooo goood!!
@schaze I've never really been against them if the idea is to allow for more independence. My mom ran a daycare when I was in elementary school and she had elastic leashes for the toddlers that clipped to a little belt with a pocket. The kids loved them bc they'd wear them to walk to the park and then fill up the pockets with mulch & stuff. We used one (a different style that clipped around the chest & shoulders) with DS when he was 1.5-2yo, he wanted to walk without holding hands but could not listen to directions. It kept him from getting too far away or into the street or something, and was especially nice at big outdoor events.
@schaze my friend whose son is autistic used one, because he would vanish so abruptly and quietly. Never on purpose, he just didn't understand why he should stay with the group. He vanished from Kindergarten once and was found wandering around a neighborhood blocks away!
They don't need it now that he is older. But I do think they are good safety tools for non-neurotypical kids or kids with disabilities.
I had a backpack with a leash when I was a kid. I know because I've seen pictures of myself as a little kid at Disneyland. *shrug* I turned out okay (for the most part haha). I didn't blame my mom for doing it, I was probably being a little jerk
My UO: I don't believe in the whole parenting strategy "We don't say no to our kids" thing. My Aunt did that with my cousin, and I straight up yelled at him when he threw a pool (billiards) ball at my head because it wasn't cool and she wasn't going to do anything about it. I got the bitchiest look from her, but oh well, your kid was being an asshole and if you weren't going to tell him then I will.
I used to be so against child leashes until recently lol! It's so hard to carry DD, but she's only 19 months, so she still has a super short attention span and jets off too fast for me to catch. So I've been looking into a backpack with a leash now.
My UO haha I CANNOT STAND TAYLOR SWIFT. I can't stand Katy Perry either. Like just SHUT UP ABOUT THEM ALEADY! I can't even pump gas without one of them popping up on the little TVs at the pumps
My UO: I also can't stand Taylor Swift. It's not that I necessarily hate her music or anything (I can admit that some of her songs are catchy). I just think she may be one of the most annoying creatures on the planet. Sorry, ladies
I saw Taylor Swift perform at her first ACMA when she was 15 with "Shoulda Said No" and fell in love then. She was adorable.
My U/Os since we're kinda low! 1) John Mayer gives me the heebie jeebies. 2) I cannot understand why anyone wouldn't get butter on movie theater popcorn. If you're going for popcorn, GO FOR IT.
I can definitely see when the leash backpacks might be useful like the examples you ladies gave for sure. I don't side eye those at all- to each their own!
Also on the not liking Taylor Swift train. I've been reminded recently too how much I hate football.
@gilsam1 having worked in daycare and schools I completely agree with the suckage of the "don't say no" parenting style. I'm sorry, you are not your child's friend. You are their parent and their teacher and you should act like it. Kids love boundaries and thrive with them. They need to learn how to be productive members of society, not little shits (pardon my French) or speshul snoflaykes. I can't stand when people say "we don't tell him no, we let him decide." Well that's great, but if you don't tell him no, I will. And guess what? It won't be the end of the world.
My UO is that I hate baby/kids clothing that allude to sex/drinking/other adult stuff. They're not funny, man. Just let the kids be kids. They have the rest of their lives to worry about adult stuff.
For example: And my second, but similar UO is I don't like it when friends post pictures on Facebook of their babies fully naked or topless if they're a girl. Or pictures of breastfeeding when you can see the whole boob. I feel like they could be posted here since we are all women united because of being pregnant or the pictures could be taken and saved for family albums, but on Facebook for all to see until the end of time? Just no.
On the breastfeeding thing - I support women being able to breastfeed in public, etc. but posting boob pictures on Facebook is what I think isn't okay.
Overall, I just know that people have all kinds of sexual desires/impulses/etc. and I don't want my babies or boobs in their fantasies.
I'm really big on offering choices within reason, and I think telling a kid no is important -- but also believe in explaining why.
I feel like the trend of never saying no is an extreme swing in response to "because I said so" authoritarian parenting. Neither treats kids like the real humans they're going to be, because one removes them off all agency and the other fails to teach them to process disappointment and to see others as equally important individuals.
@missblaze I totally believe that. I was just in a fierce debate with people yesterday over how "he'd changed" and I was like, do you know him personally? He just seems to give me the shivers.
@scatteringashes I was just about to say the same thing before reading your post. Giving a child choices (subject to the parent's discretion) is a good compromise. Parent is in control, child feels like they have some control.
John Mayer is super creepy. Never paid much attention to him until he referred to Jessica Simpson as sexual napalm and now all I can think of is slime when I think of him.
On the matter of leashes, pre-kids I would see them and cringe. Now that my huge toddler is in the terrific twos, I see why it isn't such a bad idea. Outings with him used to be wonderful and now it just depends on if he has had a nap and if I want to constantly police his every move. He is so independent, so fast, a climber and does the opposite of authority in most days. I haven't actually looked into getting one though.
@scatteringashes yes to the offering a choice or explanation. When I tell my toddler no I always explain why it's no even if he doesn't quite understand yet. And if he wants something, like a snack I always offer 2 and let him choose. It has majorly cut down on the number of tantrums that he has. Some days I feel like if I have to say "no, we don't throw food on the floor, it makes a mess" one more time I may pull out my hair, but one day he will understand!
@Cricket99 I maaayyy have taught my son that 'messes make Mommy sad', and that is why we don't drop food and have to clean up toys. It's not a lie though, I get kind of anxious and claustrophobic when the house is too messy, which is unfortunate because I'm also terrible about keeping things clean.
Haha, you sound like me, @Cricket99. DD and I have daily conversations (plural) that go something like this: Me: No. We don't scream. What does screaming do? DD: Hurts people's ears. Sorry, people. Then, five minutes later, she's screaming again. So, we get to have our little conversation again. She's only 19 months, so I know she doesn't quite get it, but I swear one day she will!
@caeilievalor All the YES! But I'm also not into the ridiculous gender items either or...cartoons or characters. I like when children look put together if that makes sense? I mean eventually how they dress and present does impact their world. Why not begin young?!
GraceUponGrace09
member
Re: UO - 8/24
I really like Taylor Swift and I'm SUPER excited about her new single being released today / her new album.
@jaclyn405 I heard it was pretty late tonight but I am TOTALLY downloading that the second its available
@gusgus14 I also DO NOT care that people hate her / think she's annoying.. I eat it up!!!!!!
Jan 18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
But I hate people who are shitty about people having them. Like, moreso than I dislike the reveals themselves. It's unrealistic to say, "My baby has vulva but I won't assign them a gender until they decide it." Especially when one can raise a kid without gendered constraints, teach them the important things about the difference between biological sex and gender -- and fuckin' also buy a tutu sometimes because it floats their boat.
The assumption that a parent cannot recognize that children are often very gender-fluid, and that a parent is capable of recognizing and respecting a child's eventual choices regarding gender presentation, if said parent also want to throw a pink or blue party is reductive bullshit and I'm not here for it. Fuckin' let people enjoy things, especially things that are changing their life on a big way.
Jan 18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
My UO: I love our semi old-fashioned way of living and don't think there's anything wrong with depending on a man. DH works hard outside of the home and I work hard within it and it works for us!!
ETA: Also excited about Taylor Swift's new music! Couldn't hate it if I tried to lol it's always sooo goood!!
Jan 18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
They don't need it now that he is older. But I do think they are good safety tools for non-neurotypical kids or kids with disabilities.
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
My UO haha I CANNOT STAND TAYLOR SWIFT. I can't stand Katy Perry either. Like just SHUT UP ABOUT THEM ALEADY! I can't even pump gas without one of them popping up on the little TVs at the pumps
Sorry, ladies
My U/Os since we're kinda low!
1) John Mayer gives me the heebie jeebies.
2) I cannot understand why anyone wouldn't get butter on movie theater popcorn. If you're going for popcorn, GO FOR IT.
Also on the not liking Taylor Swift train. I've been reminded recently too how much I hate football.
For example:
And my second, but similar UO is I don't like it when friends post pictures on Facebook of their babies fully naked or topless if they're a girl. Or pictures of breastfeeding when you can see the whole boob. I feel like they could be posted here since we are all women united because of being pregnant or the pictures could be taken and saved for family albums, but on Facebook for all to see until the end of time? Just no.
On the breastfeeding thing - I support women being able to breastfeed in public, etc. but posting boob pictures on Facebook is what I think isn't okay.
Overall, I just know that people have all kinds of sexual desires/impulses/etc. and I don't want my babies or boobs in their fantasies.
I feel like the trend of never saying no is an extreme swing in response to "because I said so" authoritarian parenting. Neither treats kids like the real humans they're going to be, because one removes them off all agency and the other fails to teach them to process disappointment and to see others as equally important individuals.
I use Hypnobabies! http://www.hypnobabies-store.com/link.cgi?affiliateID=472
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies!
EDD: 1/6/2018
Eva Jane: 7/23/2014
John Mayer is super creepy. Never paid much attention to him until he referred to Jessica Simpson as sexual napalm and now all I can think of is slime when I think of him.
On the matter of leashes, pre-kids I would see them and cringe. Now that my huge toddler is in the terrific twos, I see why it isn't such a bad idea. Outings with him used to be wonderful and now it just depends on if he has had a nap and if I want to constantly police his every move. He is so independent, so fast, a climber and does the opposite of authority in most days. I haven't actually looked into getting one though.
Jan 18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
Me: No. We don't scream. What does screaming do?
DD: Hurts people's ears. Sorry, people.
Then, five minutes later, she's screaming again. So, we get to have our little conversation again. She's only
19 months, so I know she doesn't quite get it, but I swear one day she will!