STM+ Check-in (Week of 8/21)

cards10

This thread is a weekly check in for those expecting their second -- or more! -- child. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any time if you have a question or need to vent about the challenges of having children at home while pregnant. 

How far along are you? 

How old are your other kids? 

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:

cards10

How far along are you? 4+5

How old are your other kids? 1.5 yo

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  nah

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : went to my company picnic this weekend and there were a TON of little kids there. DS loved playing (read: walking up to and looking at) the other kids. All the feels. I'm excited for him to have a little friend at home too

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions: rave - I just got a call from my Dr office. They're letting me do betas!!! I'm hoping this will help ease some PGAL brain. I'll go today and Wednesday after work. 

BarefootContessa

How far along are you? 4w2d

How old are your other kids? 5 and 2

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  I have already shared that I'm nervous about announcing this pregnancy. Otherwise, I guess I'm nervous that I won't be able to spread my attention well enough once "finale" is here.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : I know that by having this baby that I'm giving my kids the foundation that I've always wanted to give them. They'll have each other for life. My current children love each other dearly, and I look forward to that continuing with the third.

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:  I am sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy and terrified of the morning sickness. I wish I could just fast forward to week 13!

sparklingdiamond

How far along are you? 4 weeks, 1 day

How old are your other kids? 3 year old son

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?    Today was his first day of Pre-K and he was not in a very good mood.  He didn't sleep well of course, so I am really hoping he improves and has a good day.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM :  I love that he will get to be a big brother because he really loves babies and will have someone to play with.

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:  I had to go in for my second beta today.  Last time I went (on Thurs) they didn't call me!  I had to call them the next morning.  So I really hope they don't do that again.

Dumbgurl04

How far along are you? 
8 weeks today

How old are your other kids? 
DD is 2

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
just making time for DD even though I have no energy.  Also potty training, I want to be hardcore and make her but at the same time I don't want to traumatize her.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
I'm excited for DD to have a sibling 

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
Carriers! I plan to a new one, the one I have was like $10 and hurt my back so I barely used it for DD.  I want to get a good one to hopefully make it easier with chasing a toddler around.  I have Infantino one on my wish list on Amazon.  I know when we were at target I was showing my husband some of the carriers they had and he thought it was crazy that some of them were $100-$150.  Frankly I feel like it's worth since we really don't have to buy anything else.  Just want to get thoughts on what everyone else has used.

lindsye

How far along are you? 
4+1

How old are your other kids? 
5, 3, and 15 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
I'm a neurotic POASer. I've had a chemical pregnancy in the past and knew about it right away thanks to these pee sticks. However, I am now at the stage of pregnancy where the pee sticks threaten to steal my sanity (are they darkening rapidly enough, etc), and I'm working hard to be present for my kids and a good mother to them when my brain just wants to be obsessive and crazy. Lol.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
In reference to my above comment, whenever I am feeling at the height of my POAS crazy, I look at the three babies I already have and feel calmer. I feel very fortunate to be their mom.

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
Rant: 15 month old son still sucks at sleep. I'm sure it's 99.9% my fault because I still nurse him, including at night when he wants to, but I did the same with his older sisters and they outgrew it on their own. Really hoping he does too... and soon.

ekendall09

@Dumbgurl04 i highly recommend the Tula.  I have two toddler size ones that we've more than got our money worth out of at this point.  I still carry her (40lb and 4.5 years old).  I'll be investing in the Tula free to grow carrier because it has a great range for it (7-45 lbs) and I also bought a ring sling this time around.  I had a moby last time and ergo and liked both but much prefer the tula because it truly is comfortable.

mispanda

@cards10 hopefully the betas will help put your mind at ease.

@Dumbgurl04 they are costly but I recommend you do your research and get a good carrier.  Hip health in babies is really important and you want a carrier that will support your baby correctly.
I had an Ergo Performance and liked it but I'm looking at getting a Tula this time along with maybe a ring sling or a wrap for the infant stages.


How far along are you? 8 weeks.

How old are your other kids? 2.5

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  Anyone have advice on good carpet cleaner for potty training?   I'm not hardcore on it but I have my DD wear underwear in the afternoon and we've had some accidents.  I just want to make sure my carpet doesn't keep a urine smell.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : I'm a little nervous how I'll handle a second child but extremely happy that we are expanding our family.  I never wanted an only child and I'm happy that DD will get a sibling.

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:  DD will be 3.5 by next summer so I'm trying to figure out if I should get a sit and stand stroller or just get a normal double stroller.  

ekendall09

How far along are you? 

7+2

How old are your other kids? 

Almost 4.5 yo daughter

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  

no super questions or concerns.  

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 

Really excited to have such a huge age gap, we have such a good routine here and I feel mentally ready to take on the newborn stage again.  I only have DD 80% of the time so i'm sure we'll have some bumps along the road transitioning but overall i'm excited!

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:

I started to stress about what I would do with going into labor if she was at her dads or with me etc.  Totally way too far out to worry about and its out of my control.

mispanda

@ekendall09 I've been looking at the toddler tulas.  DD hasn't been interested in being in a carrier for awhile now but when I'm wearing the new baby I wonder if she will want her turn...

Dumbgurl04

I have heard of the tula @mispanda and @ekendall09 they are crazy expensive but it seems everyone who suggests them says it total worth the money.  So that is one for sure I'll be doing my research on. 

thisgirlagain

How far along are you? 
5 weeks

How old are your other kids? 
4 and 1.5

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
No. We are waiting until we are ready to tell family before telling our 4 year old. You never know if it will slip out. I told my 1.5 yr old though. She seemed excited.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
We finally found a system that both kids help clean the living room at night without complaining. Yay!

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
This is our last baby so it's a bit surreal and kind of interesting going through my last pregnancy. 

ekendall09

@Dumbgurl04 I think the free to grow one is reasonable given the range you can carry.  We started using the todder around 18 months and I so wish I had had the standard one before that.  

thisgirlagain

Can't delete 

kindbytealikat

@Dumbgurl04 maybe look any see if there are any local baby wearing groups. They generally have options for you to try. TBH and I'll get flamed for this but I did not love the Tula. I didn't feel the back support was great. Loved my moby though. Looking into lily baby and a ring slung this time around 

ladythrice

I third a quality baby carrier! We've had Ergos and Tulas and we LOVE our Tulas. We use a Moby for the freshly born stage, RS, and Tula SSC with an infant insert as soon as the babies are big enough!

How far along are you? 

6 weeks today!

How old are your other kids? 

2.5 and 13 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  

DS starts preschool tomorrow. He's in daycare and moving up early because a young crop of 2 year olds are moving into his room and we're worried about him reverting and shockingly, we think he's ready. I'm still not prepared for it. I thought we had five months to a year before he started in the preschool room.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 

DD took her first steps this weekend! She's still more comfortable doing her little monkey booty scoot but we're getting closer to walking!

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:

I'm going to gain so much weight this pregnancy because I'm not telling myself no to anything... Even when I reasonably should. /Sigh. I should just write my check to Weight watchers now lol. I did it after DD and LOVED it.

dirtyboots

How far along are you? 
8w1d

How old are your other kids? 
12.5m

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
#1 finally figured out walking this past week. He's been taking half a dozen steps or so when coaxed for a couple months, but still preferred to crawl everywhere. This week it just clicked and he is walking everywhere! Yay! 

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
With my first it took 2-3 months after birth before my vagina didn't feel like it was going to "fall out". Just the past day or so I'm getting that heavy sensation where I need to hold it in again (kegel) when I'm going in my walks. Anyone else experience this? Does it go away after the uterus pops up? 

fishsticks-n-custard

@lindsye If it makes you feel better, my 19 month old boob monster was still waking up at night to nurse at 15 months and now only very rarely does it. 

How far along are you? 4w3d

How old are your other kids? 19 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  Does anyone have any recommendations for iron rich crackers? DD had some iron deficiency anemia but is becoming a beast about any medication/supplement. She's a super picky eater. 

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : I'm taking my time to really appreciate the time DD and I have left as just the two of us. I took her to all kinds of fun activities this weekend and spent lots of quality time with her. 

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions: I need to find a baby wearing group around here. I have an ergo original with a newborn insert but used it maybe twice with DD while on maternity leave. I feel like it was just a pain in the ass to get her in and out of it. I would love to make it work though. 

cards10

@Dumbgurl04 re: carriers. I have k'tan and it was great while DS was a newborn bc he could sort of curl up in the sling in a very natural position. But after a couple weeks he got kind of smooshed in there and we switched to the ErgoBaby. I have nothing else to compare it to be we LOVED that. And DS was comfy in it. He would sleep in it. And when he was old enough to face out, he'd just hang out there for a long time. 

@ladythrice yay for DD walking!!! And I'm right there with ya with the lack of willpower lol. I may or may not have had a cookie at 9am bc it was just sitting in our break room looking all lonely and delicious

dirtyboots

@Dumbgurl04 I have and ergo (photo below)  that I got at a second hand shop (for $15!), and it's worked well. I think I'll probably be investing in a newer model or possibly a Tula or Lillibaby because it does bother my back a bit. Like @kindbytealikat said, see if there's a Baby wearing international group near by and you can try on the different styles to see what fits you best. 

courtyowl427

@sparklingdiamond Today was 2 year old DS first day back to the sitter after a week home with me. It was terrible. I've checked in with her a bunch of times to make sure he is having a better day. Hope yours is having a good day too!

@Dumbgurl04 DS is 2 and I am dragging my feet with potty training. I've read the books, have the potty, but zero desire. I really think potty training him will make my life harder when we are out of the house, which we always are. A friend of my has a potty in the back of her SUV and has her LO go potty before going in the store. Who has time for that???


How far along are you? 6w and some change

How old are your other kids? 2

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  DS is ina  serious "Mommy?" phase right now. We were home together all last week and it made it worse. I love that he wants to be with me, but the constant clingiing and 1st tri exhaustion are getting to me. I think he needs more one on one time with DH....

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : I'm so ready for a second baby and glad it happened earlier than we though it might. I loved being pregnant the first time and can't wait for the second tri.

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions: Telling my family about the baby this weekend. Last time I was super strict about waiting until first u/s, but this time around I'm much more lax.

cards10

@dirtyboots aww yay for DS walking!! My DS took a while too. He was taking only a few steps at a time foreeeever, from like 10 mo. I finally started saying he was a "walker" at 14 mo. Dude just loved to be fast and crawling was faster than walking. It was truly just one day, like you said, he just decided to walk everywhere. 
And seriously Ergo for $15?!?! Wow!

kmalls

@Dumbgurl04 if you want a cheaper option for the newborn/baby stage, I highly recommend the Infantino Mei Tai -- you can get it at Babies R Us for $30 or less. It's soft, SUPER easy to put on by yourself, and it won't break the bank. I bought it after discovering I hated using the Ergo with an infant insert and I didn't want to spend $100+ on yet another carrier. It's lasted through 2 babies and I'll for sure use it for baby 3! 

lindsye

@fishsticks-n-custard thank you - it does make me feel better! I have been assuming he'll outgrow night feedings but was starting to get a bit nervous at the 15 month mark.

Dumbgurl04

Thanks for the suggestions on carriers.  I have never heard of that one @kmalls but it looks like a really good one.  Will be checking that one out for sure. 

I couldn't think of putting a potty in the back of my car @courtyowl427.  I have trying to show her big girl underwear with characters that she likes.  She says she wants them but I tell her we can't get them until she can potty like a big girl cause only big girls can wear them.  One of my cousins told me to just buy them and then if she potty's in them throw them out right in front of her.  She said her son was so upset his spider man underwear was thrown away the potty training just clicked with him after that and he had no more accidents. 

dirtyboots

cards10 said:

@dirtyboots aww yay for DS walking!! My DS took a while too. He was taking only a few steps at a time foreeeever, from like 10 mo. I finally started saying he was a "walker" at 14 mo. Dude just loved to be fast and crawling was faster than walking. It was truly just one day, like you said, he just decided to walk everywhere. 
And seriously Ergo for $15?!?! Wow!

Silly babies. lol And yes! My mom was the one who found it. She texted me and was like "do you want this? Idk if it's any good... " Then she proceeded to say it looked like new condition and said it had the infant insert included. I promptly told her to guard it with her life. lol

fishsticks-n-custard

@kmalls That carrier looks interesting and definitely easier to use than my ergo. Does it have enough head support for the newborn stage?

kmalls

@fishsticks-n-custard yes it has plenty of support for the newborn stage! It's by far my preferred carrier in those early days. I think I used it with both kids until they were about 4 or 5 months. After that I found the Ergo to be more supportive. 

dinonugget

How far along are you? 3w6d (just found out last night)

How old are your other kids? DS1 is 5 and DS2 is 16 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  Just really nervous about adding a third to our crazy hectic life and how close this baby will be to DS2 (24.5 months apart)

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : I'm sure I'll get excited but just nervous for now.

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions: Trying to figure how I'm going to not out myself on Wednesday when I'm supposed to go out with several friends to celebrate birthdays (mine included)

lauranicole91

How far along are you? 5w1d


How old are your other kids? 5 and 2

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  I had the same age gap between my 1st and 2nd kids as this one will be with my 2nd. I looooved the 3 year age gap, she potty trained a month before she turned 3, she was independent, played well alone, I could bargain with her, communicate, etc. Problem is my 2nd is no where near as independent. He also doesn't talk (we've been in speech therapy 5 months and counting). I hope he has a speech explosion between know and April so I can better communicate with him once baby is here and I don't have as much time and energy to figure out and meet his needs while simultaneously caring for a newborn. 

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : we've always wanted 3, so the idea of completing our family is pretty darn joyful. 

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions: not aside from what I stated above. 

maureenmce

@kmalls Oh, I am intrigued by that carrier!  My DD did not like the ergo, but I'm not sure if that was an issue with the carrier, or just her personal preference, but this would be a great, cheap option to try out if this LO doesn't like the ergo either!

How far along are you? 
5 weeks and 2 days!

How old are your other kids? 
DD is 1.5

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
My daughter is growing out of everything that confines her: she's figured out how to take off the straps to her stroller and get out, she's refusing the high chair and wants to sit in normal chairs, and she can climb out of the crib (though luckily, she doesn't at night, just tries during the day.)  We're going to transition her to a toddler bed soon, but the stroller thing is something I'm having a hard time with - I can't imagine wearing or strolling a newborn and having DD walking when we go out.  She's just too crazy and wants to run off toward the street, etc. I guess I could look into those toddler carriers (Tula?) and push this LO in the stroller?  Just trying to wrap my mind around wrangling my tornado toddler and a newborn when walking the dog, running errands, etc. and I feel like she's escaping everything that would make that easy.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
I just love my DD so much and she's been so snuggly lately.  Despite my fatigue and whatever morning sickness is to come, I really want to make this last few months while she's still the only child super special.  

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
I just can't wait for my first ultrasound, which is two weeks from tomorrow.  Since this pregnancy was a big surprise, it still doesn't feel real to me, especially because my symptoms have been mild so far.  Can't wait to see this little one and hear that heartbeat!

alsbaldwin

How far along are you? 
4 weeks and 4 days

How old are your other kids? 
DS1 is 2, DS2 is 14 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
Double strollers since all my kiddos will be so close. Right know I push DS1 in the stroller while babywearing DS2 in a ring sling, but I need a double soon with a third on the way. And we're starting house shopping. We live in a two bedroom right now, with the 14 month old in a crib in our room, but that obviously won't work when #3 comes along...

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
My first was only 18 months when our second was born, and he'll be a little over 3 when this one comes along. I'm excited for him to understand more and be excited. He's obsessed with babies in bellies right now, so I think he'll be excited.

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
Blah. Nothing crazy right now.


And on the topic of babycarriers above, I love the Solly wrap for when kiddos are tiny (I used it daily until about 5 or 6 months with my first two kiddos), and then I love ring slings when the baby gets bigger. I still wear my 22 pound 14 month old about every other day in a ring sling with no problems (even my 30 pound 2 year old gets up still).

irenejean

How far along are you? 
4 weeks and 6 days

How old are your other kids? 
DS will be 2 in a couple weeks.

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
Mostly just hoping DS can be potty trained by the time April rolls around, we might try around Christmas if he seems ready. Slightly worried about them sharing rooms at some point, but baby #2 will be sleeping in our room for the first few months.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
We're only planning on having two kids, and I can't wait to get rid of all the baby stuff as baby #2 outgrows them! Storage is in short supply at our house.

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
Curious to see if this pregnancy is anything like my first.

fancybelmont

How far along are you? 6 weeks

How old are your other kids? DD is 6.  DS is 8.

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  I'm not too stressed.  I know it's going to be crazy, but the older two will be so excited when we tell them.  I know DD is going to lose her mind.  She's going to be such a good helper.  I just hope I'm not too tired to let them stay involved in lots of activities.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : Right now, I'm just feeling excited.  All I want is a healthy baby, and if I can have that the rest is easy.  I feel like I'm going to be much less stressed about everything because I feel like an experienced parent at this point.  

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:  I'm so out of the loop with new baby products.  We had an audio only monitor for my last two.  LOL.  Now I feel like that's unheard of.  I've got research to do!

ladythrice

@alsbaldwin regarding double strollers, we have the Baby Jogger City Select with an extra seat and it's love. I recommend it whenever someone is looking for a double.

Puddlewonderful

lindsye said:

How far along are you? 
4+1

How old are your other kids? 
5, 3, and 15 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
I'm a neurotic POASer. I've had a chemical pregnancy in the past and knew about it right away thanks to these pee sticks. However, I am now at the stage of pregnancy where the pee sticks threaten to steal my sanity (are they darkening rapidly enough, etc), and I'm working hard to be present for my kids and a good mother to them when my brain just wants to be obsessive and crazy. Lol.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
In reference to my above comment, whenever I am feeling at the height of my POAS crazy, I look at the three babies I already have and feel calmer. I feel very fortunate to be their mom.

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
Rant: 15 month old son still sucks at sleep. I'm sure it's 99.9% my fault because I still nurse him, including at night when he wants to, but I did the same with his older sisters and they outgrew it on their own. Really hoping he does too... and soon.

@lindsye I feel you! Hang in there! I was overzealous and starting POAS at only like 7 dpo and got a squinter BFP at 9 dpo. Then proceeded to take like 3 a day for the next week haha. I almost wish I hadn't found out so early, it only adds to my anxiety!! 

lindsye

Thanks, @Puddlewonderful! I am at 15 dpo today and they're looking strong enough that I will stop peeing on things soon. Probably. Maybe. Lol.

dinonugget

@irenejean my 5 year old and 16 month old share a room and love it. We recently moved and gave DS1 the option of his own room but he wanted baby brother in his room still.

@alsbaldwin I'm in the same boat as far as strollers. We got a sit and stand with DS2 because DS1 was almost 4 but that won't work this time around.

Puddlewonderful

How far along are you? 4w 3d

How old are your other kids? DS is 21 mos

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
I'm just anxious to get out of the first trimester and then find out the sex so the real planning and excitement can begin. I'm the type of person who has things completely planned out with multiple contingencies so the time when it's still uncertain and a secret is tough! 

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
Kind of frivolous but I'm really excited to have a spring baby. All the birthdays in my family are in the fall, even the dog! I'm happy to have something to celebrate every April now. 

Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
More of a confession. Yesterday while DS was napping I was complaining about needing to clean the bathrooms, and DH decided he didn't want me around the chemicals and so he did it for me. I knew the chemicals would be fine but I still let him do it and took a nap! Now I feel guilty. 

Puddlewonderful

@lauranicole91 we were doing speech therapy for my son too. Have you found it helpful? I felt like the therapist was just telling me strategies to help him that I could have googled myself. Finally cancelled because I decided it wasn't worth the copay. DS is 21 mos only says a few words plus animal noises. I think the ped is being overcautious in continuing to recommend therapy. 

dinonugget

@Puddlewonderful DS1 only said 3 words at 18 months and right before 2 started talking out of nowhere. Our ped told us not to worry until he was 2. He is in speech therapy now at 5 because he can be hard to understand and has trouble with some sounds.