October FET

cadavies

@sarcasticowl I am so sorry to hear about your news and how the nurse handled it on her voicemail. It is always helpful to reassess, so I think your choice to have a meeting with them is smart. Take all the time you need, we will be here to help you through.

@prudence9-2 I am also so sorry to hear about your BFN. This process takes a lot out of a person, so take time for yourself and we'll be here to support you in your next steps!

cadavies

@kristylang Congratulations on your beta!! Sending you good vibes for the future

cadavies

@MamaK225 How have you been feeling? I'm sorry to hear about Waffle House incident. I would have done the same thing you did-get the check and run! haha It really is tough to see others get pregnant easily. When my husband and I first started trying I was able to brush off the announcements much easier, but then over time, countless BFNs and callous remarks by friends, I was becoming jealous and depressed with each announcement. What I find helps me when I have a "Waffle House" encounter is thinking about the few aspects of infertility treatments that are really special...that no one that conceives naturally would be able to experience. The ones that stick out to me are being able to see pictures & videos of our blastocysts (how may "fertiles" can say that?? ), going through the emotional transfer experience, meeting women going through the same struggles and developing some great relationships, feeling a whole new closeness to my husband, and knowing that had if it not been for infertility I would probably still be eating like a 20 year old college student and not thinking about my health . This infertility thing isn't easy no matter how you slice it, but through the journey we will gain positive things, if not but to just make us really really strong people.

Will be thinking of you as you get through the days waiting for your beta! I have no symptoms over here and my beta isn't until next week...brutal I tell ya.

prudence9-2

Thanks everyone. They finally called with the beta results. So now it’s officially a BFN. 

Im turning 42 in 2 days and I’ve had 3 failures in the last year all with PGS normal embryos. I have one more left. But I’m really not sure. This time it didn’t even implant. And the conditions this time were the best out of the three times. 

I’m devastated. 

Holls214

@prudence9-2 I’m so incredibly sorry to hear that... thinking of you. I had a couple of ladies in my Resolve group have that happened and they ended up trying the natural FET and it worked. So sorry. 

prudence9-2

Thanks @Holls214 they will call me tomorrow to schedule the WTF appt. We'll see what the dr says. I have 1 more PGS normal embryo left.... 

***TW***
not sure I have much hope. Each FET was worse that the previous one... First pregnancy lasted 6w 1d... Second was a chemical and this didn't even implant. All with PGS normal embryos.

tinjp78

@prudence9-2 I'm so sorry. I want to give you a very tight hug. I'm here and thinking of you.

sarcasticowl

@prudence9-2 I’m so sorry things didn’t work out on your most promising cycle. I’m sure your impending birthday is scaring you to death but keep your head up. You still have another chance and I’m willing to bet the doctor has some tricks up his sleeve. Have you done an ERA? That’s #1 on my list to ask for because like you said, the embryo is not the issue. I hope you are able to enjoy your birthday despite this sadness. Let us know how things go and what your plan ends up being, ok?

prudence9-2

Thanks @sarcasticowl since 2/3 times the embryo implanted I don’t think they will go for ERA. I’ll def ask about it though. 

mjbarretto

@prudence9-2 I’m so sorry my friend. Sending you lots of love. 

prudence9-2

Thanks @mjbarretto I hope you will get better news this week!!

MamaK225

@prudence9-2 - I'm so sorry I hope that you can celebrate your birthday with the knowledge that there *is* hope for your last emby. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that the next time is the charm!

@mjbarretto - I've also been fighting a cold/allergies since the transfer, too. It seems my body knows how to just stress me out at the right moments. Ugh. I hope you feel better soon!

AFM, I'm even more nervous now. Was calling to get a PIO refill and then found out from my nurse that I may not have been getting all the way to the muscle on the shots, so now I'm stressed that even though I've been taking the shots ... they may not be doing anything. So I couldn't sleep and was up at 4a, looking at videos on YouTube and adjusted my strategy. I feel better about it right now, but ... now I'm worrying it may be too little, too late. I guess the only positive is that the shots are really only about 50mg of progesterone when the "pills" I take at night at 200mg. So I was still getting a minimum of 200/250 prescribed. Hopefully, it's enough. I'll find out more from my RE today if there are alternates to the shot since I'm having a bit of a reaction with them. Sigh.

Hope the rest of you are having better luck/feelings out there!

tnh0413

@prudence9-2 oh, I’m so so sorry. Even though it seems bleak at the moment, keep hope for the last frozen! Definitely have a meeting with your RE. I hope that will alleviate some of your worries. please keep us updated. Hugs to you!!

cadavies

@prudence9-2 I am so sorry. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

prudence9-2

Thanks @MamaK225 @tnh0413 @cdavies05 @MamaK225 I also had an issue once that I thought I wasn’t injecting into the muscle. And was told that PIO is still getting into the body. So it’s not all lost.

MamaK225

Well, my nurse said I could switch to 3xPrometrium a day (we all LOVE that don't we?!) if it's easier/giving me fewer side effects. I will begin it tomorrow since - while up, despairing at 4a - I watched some YouTube videos about how to give yourself the one in the backside (you ladies who do it are straight up fierce!) ... so I got my 22G, 1.5" needle in there today. It's amazing what some stress and early morning delirium will encourage you to do!

@prudence9-2 - Thanks ... and I'm crossing fingers and toes for you and your next attempt. If you can, enjoy your birthday and look forward to hearing any updates in 2018

MamaK225

If I remember correctly, I believe there are some FETs going on this week. I wish all of you who have or are about to transfer the best of luck and sticky dust!!

rainbows2018

@sarcasticowl @tnh0413 @prudence9-2 I’m so sorry to hear about your outcome. It’s just so hard to pick ourselves up after these failures. I remember when *TW after my 4th MC the RE said your best bet would be to just keep trying. They really have no idea what it feels like. End TW

@kristylang congratulations!! Always nice to hear success stories - gives me hope.

AFM: had my FET today - everything went perfect! I only had 1 PGS normal embryo from my freeze all IVF cycle so I was nervous. But so far so good. The embryo was already hatching which according to the RE is a good sign. His exact words - the embryo is looking for something to stick to! Keeping my fingers crossed. I know I have a lot of hurdles to cross but I’m going to keep faith in my little embryo and hope for the best. 

rainbows2018

@MamaK225have they checked your progesterone levels yet? I was nervous too bc sometime a little bit of oil oozes out so I was wondering if I was getting the right dose but my level was at 33.5 so the nurse said it’s all good. 

prudence9-2

Thanks @rainbows2018 and congrats on being PUPO!!

AFM... the WTF appt is scheduled for tomorrow. Just need to think about what questions to ask. 

sarcasticowl

@prudence9-2 Ours is the end of November. I’d love to know what you find out and what you ask. We have a running list but I just know I’ll forget something.

tinjp78

@rainbows2018 Congrats on being PUPO!!!

prudence9-2

@sarcasticowl working on my list right now. I was just reading about DQ alpha match. And apparently if there is a match between man and a woman then it is in NK Cell party and chances for successful pregnancy are low. Since I’m using a donor I can’t test for a match. 

My RE keeps saying there is no point for me to do another IVF. But maybe I should do another IVF with a different donor. So then if there is a match with this one, the odds for it to not happen again with a new donor might be worth it?

Even though I don’t think implantation is my problem, will ask about the following tests: EFT & ERA. 

sarcasticowl

@prudence9-2 I had never heard of the DQ alpha match - thank you! I found an article that Dr. Sher wrote about it (this guy is like a crazy IF oracle. I wish I could talk to him!). We did intralipids this time to try to ward off any NK cells as a sort of 'just in case' scenario, but now I'm wondering if we should be tested and/or try IVIG or a higher dose of prednisone. Definitely don't want to go through all that if that's not our issue, though. I really hope your RE allows you to do another IVF round. I don't like the idea of anyone saying there's no point in at least trying, especially when you are willing and have the financial ability to do it. YOU should decide when you're out, and you are not out yet!

prudence9-2

@sarcasticowl I think that to test the DQ alpha is a simple blood test. You and your husband should def ask about it. 

My RE is trying to help me do whatever will give me highest chances of success. So it’s not like she disallowed me. And what she said at the last WTF meeting made sense. But thinking about the DQ alpha I wonder if she’d think differently this time 

prudence9-2

@sarcasticowl was the intralipids an infusion? Did you do any tests to see if nk cells are a problem?

this last cycle I did neupogen. Which was suppose to fight a possible nk cell problem but in the opposite way than steroids. 

sarcasticowl

@prudence9-2 Intralipids are an infusion, yeah. It's an IV bag that looks like milk. It's gross. They did not test me for NK cells, no. Like I said in an earlier post, they are a huge outfit and the personalized plans are not really a thing unless you advocate for yourself. I had asked why our first FET didn't work and was told by the nurse "you know, sometimes an embryo can look perfect but can be chromosomally abnormal..." and I said "but this was a PGS tested embryo." Nurse: "Oh." So I said, "ALRIGHT LET'S DISCUSS WHAT WE CAN DO TO MAKE THE NEXT ONE WORK, SHALL WE?" So we did the intralipids and embryo glue (of which there is no scientific consensus about whether it works but I figured what's an extra $100 out of pocket?). I don't know if I should have had to ask the nurse to re-evaluate our protocol, but it seems like they're far too big to take the time to tailor protocols. She didn't even put me on Estrace before transfer which was a hideously bad mistake considering my level was 58 at transfer and only 88 at my pre-beta blood work. WTFFFFFF. I am more than aggravated by this place but it's the only IF center in our area (it's an hour away) and it's by far the most affordable anywhere.

prudence9-2

@sarcasticowl did you have to get the infusion once before the transfer and then if you got pregnant would you have had to get it again?

its the same with me and neupogen. They didn’t test me but said maybe that’s the issue. Neupogen is suppose to elevate the white blood count so if the body wants to attack the embryo it doesn’t because it thinks someone else is already fighting it. 

I understand your frustration. I also used PGS normal embryos only. I had 4. And now I have 1 left!!! My RE keeps saying that it is very possible that the problem is still a genetic defect with the embryo because PGS doesn’t check all genes. But what are the odds that all of them will be bad? I have one more left and I’m terrified to try it. I know the next step would probably be donor egg. I’m 42 y/o (today!)... time is running out for me. 

As for insurance, I’m all OOP at this point... 

have you heard about EFT? I’m def going to ask about that test... I think that’s another $600 but at this point, who’s counting? 

sarcasticowl

Hey @prudence9-2. Not surprisingly, I was never told if I'd need the intralipids again after a positive beta. I had them done two days before and never heard another thing about it.

I've heard much more about neupogen washes than the HCG wash that we also did this cycle. We tried to throw the kitchen sink at it and in retrospect I should have approached them about that as well.

I'm with you in that I find it VERY hard to believe that there is something else genetically wrong with your embryos and that at least one of those 4 should have succeeded. Happy birthday? I totally understand your fear of losing your last one. Even though we have 4 left, I am still horribly anxious about losing all of them and keep wondering if we shouldn't just bank some more tested ones instead of moving into another FET in January or February. I'll be 38 in December.

I've not heard of the EFT but I looked it up and it definitely sounds like something we should do. No one has ever pinpointed uterine issues as our problem but I think it's plain as day that it's what my issue is considering the surgeries I've had and the subsequent scarring. That's a hell of a price tag, but ultimately worth it I think.

Bababatty

@rainbows2018 Congratulations on being PUPO!!

@kristylang Congratulations!

@prudence9-2 How did your WTF appointment go? Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you're doing something nice for yourself today.

@sarcasticowl Your clinic experience sounds exasperating and unnecessarily stressful.  I'm sorry this one is your best option.  I hardly ever see my RE, but I always see AN RE at every appointment (they do all of the monitoring) and I know that my RE reviews the day's results and sets the protocol.  So at your place the nurses are setting the protocol?  

sarcasticowl

@Bababatty At our IF clinic, I have seen an RE only for procedures or surgeries, never for ultrasounds or protocol dictation. As far as I know, once the nurse leaves after the u/s and blood work, she goes into a computer, works out the protocol, and comes back with a printout of medications. I have only once overheard a nurse discussing something with a doctor because the doctors are almost always in surgery or doing transfers or retrievals. It really is aggravating and disheartening to know that I only have a certain amount of LIFETIME insurance coverage for IF and that I am paying as much for nurses (one of whom is so consistently atrocious at ultrasound measurements that I flat-out refuse to have her treat me any longer) as I would be for an RE to see me and I'm not getting the care I believe I should be. It's difficult to know who to complain to, however, and I certainly don't want to alienate the people who have custody of my embryos and are making the pertinent decisions.

Bababatty

@sarcasticowl Wow, that sounds like a really poor system they have going on.  And really frustrating to feel like you can't say or do anything about it because you don't want it to impact your care or your embryos.  I'm so, so sorry you have to deal with that.  Could you bring it up at your WTF appointment?  Say you're concerned that your RE (or any RE) is not paying enough attention to your protocol and that it doesn't seem to be responding to your situation at hand?  It may also be a good time to get a feeling for exactly how they're setting their protocols and what hand, if any, your RE is playing.  Even though I see my RE more often, I had to point out to him that my progesterone had apparently tanked during my fresh transfer cycle, and that I'd started my period before I even got to beta, to prompt him to take more care with my progesterone this time around.  I'm glad we all have the internet to keep us better informed because it does seem like you really have to advocate for yourself regardless of practice culture.  

MamaK225

@rainbows2018 - No, they didn't. My nurse said that I should definitely be getting enough - they just wanted to make sure it was more evenly put into the system and didn't like that I was getting reactions (hence the shift of injection site). So ... prometrium 3xdaily it is. At least insurance covers *this* part. Also - CONGRATS on being PUPO!! When do you go in for your beta?

sarcasticowl

@Bababatty I am planning on trying to delicately bring the issues up to our RE at our WTF. He owns the practice and the three other satellite offices all over the state so he's a busy guy, and I'm not sure how much he is involved with what the nurses do, but I am hoping to at least bring my concerns forward. Just have to figure out a diplomatic way of doing it. He's a very nice, very encouraging and genuinely caring person so I know he will at least listen, but my husband is diplomatic to a fault, including letting people walk all over him most of the time, and I'm afraid he won't be too keen on me telling our RE that there are issues with the way the place is run.

prudence9-2

@sarcasticowl  I didn't do the neupogen wash. I injected neupogen once a day since transfer. Was suppose to go to 9 weeks... (so yeah, daily injection in the belly and the butt... fun times!)

Okay, back from the RE...

My doctor haven't heard about the DQ Alpha matching. But when I told her what it meant, she said, ok, we should def use a different donor next time. But she still thinks I should do one last transfer before we proceed with other options. She knows I turned 42 today and said few more months here or there, wouldn't make a difference with another IVF results. 

She's not convinced EFT will help much. But thinks it is worth while to do ERA... so yippee... that means two more cycles of the dreaded Lupron.  When I mentioned how bad I feel with Lupron she said, I can take pain meds… as long as I stop everything once the embryo is in.

Since my prep cycles are pretty long, we are looking at ERA biopsy mid December and a transfer for the end of January beginning of February... Which means, I will not have a baby before my next bday

She also agreed to a more extensive blood clot panel… so I will do that probably in the next week or so. 

Then, for my cycle, she thinks we should do everything the same including the neupogen. She doesn’t think the neupogen prevented the implantation this time. It is only suppose to help the embryo once it implants.

We will also try a different type of PIO since I think I might be allergic to this one…

sarcasticowl

@prudence9-2 Wow, it really sounds like your RE took the time to go through everything line by line and come up with a comprehensive plan. I'm happy that she has given you so many options! I was only on Lupron during stims so I don't know what it's like to be on it long term. I'm so sorry you have such a hard time with it. I can understand using your last embryo in another transfer before moving on with a new donor - she'll want to know that all boxes are ticked off so when it does finally work, she'll know why it did. Fingers crossed that all your tests go well!

rainbows2018

Thanks @prudence9-2@bababatty @MamaK225 and @tinjp78. Beta on 11/2. I think it’s early bc that will only be 9dp5dt. I’m determined to not POAS but might need support from you ladies  
@prudence9-2 glad you have a plan. It always helps to have a path laid out to look forward to. GL and Fx for you for a positive outcome! 

mjbarretto

@prudence9-2 Happy Birthday!! 

mjbarretto

@rainbows2018 congrats on being PUPO

@sarcasticowl I’m sorry about your clinic. The nurses should understand what we go through since she deals with it everyday. Maybe suggest to have their staff go through compassion classes. Sorry just irks me when medical staff are insensitive! 

@prudence9-2 your dr sounds very thorough. I’m glad you were able to get some answers. Hope you had a nice birthday. 

AFM, I have an appt tomorrow. I took another test and also negative. At least tomorrow I know what to expect. Not that it makes it any easier. Infertility sucks!! 

prudence9-2

@sarcasticowl before a transfer I'm usually about 4 weeks on Lupron. Which means, I'll have to be on it another 8 weeks... 4 for the ERA and 4 for transfer. Yippee! 

If you end up asking your RE on the EFT, please report back what he said. My RE didn't want to do it for me... She didn't think it will help us much. Maybe because 2 our of the 3 times, the embryo did implant? I'm not sure...

Since you're taking break for the holidays, we might be FET buddies next year. Hope it will work better for both of us!

@rainbows2018 not testing works for me.  Continuing with PIO after a BFN is a torture... this time I tested on day 11, a day before the beta so I only had one PIO after a BFN... last FET I started testing early and saw a CP happening and then had another 4 days of PIO until my beta on day 14... and my first FET I tested on day 11, 3 days before beta and was happy to see my first BFP ever! 
My motto is: ignorance is a bliss  I would still test the morning of... just to be prepared.

@mjbarretto thanks! Going to dinner in 2 hours... and planning to have a nice drink....