FTM Questions For STM+

Puddlewonderful

kmalls said:

I have a question about episiotomies: are they really that common anymore? My OB has a general birth plan they follow (it's printed and given to patients about a month prior to due date) and it explicitly states they do NOT do episiotomies unless absolutely medically necessary. I like thought that was the norm, but maybe not? I actually have no idea! 

I'll actually jump in and say I had an episiotomy and I'm glad I did. The recovery was fine. Just slight pinching feeling when sitting for about a week. I've heard horror stories about natural tearing, and I know every experience is unique but thought I'd at least put it out there that I'm one person who had a good episiotomy experience. 

Also, it was not an old school OB who gave me one. It was a 30-something who when asked before labor said she could count on one hand how many times she'd had to do one (trying to reassure me it wouldn't come to it). Then, of course she's the one on call to deliver and gets to add me to her short list. 

My son was induced right on his due date because they were estimating he was very big and judged from my pelvis size that a vaginal delivery would be very tough with each passing day. We made the difficult decision to induce at 40 weeks to avoid a C section. DS was 9lbs 3oz. 

Oh, and @kbamomma33 the Depends were def not as good as hospital pads but a better option for me once the bleeding tapered off slightly, like 3-4 days PP. 

maureenmce

looeeze said:

STMs: What do you wish you would've asked your OB about earlier or gotten more clarity on?

Maybe this is a later on thing, but I would ask a bunch about the induction process and how they approach it, how the hospital you're delivering at will approach it, and how it might impact your birth plan.  When I found out the hospital where I was delivering wouldn't even allow me to get up and use the bathroom after breaking my water, and that I would be hooked up to approximately 1 million tubes and machines, I decided to get an epidural.  It wasn't a big deal to me, but if I had been planning for an unmedicated birth, it would have been tough with an induction and I would have wanted to discuss strategies to achieve that with my OB.

Also, it's important to know, just for your own planning and frame of reference, when your OB will induce (mine is strict about it being around 41.1 or 41.2) and how patient he or she is with the induction process.  Inductions can be LONG and if you're looking to have a vaginal birth, make sure you don't get an OB who is quick to jump to a c section unless there is a medical need.  All of the nurses at my hospital told me that with any other OB I would have ended up with a c section because mine took 27 hours, 25 of which I barely progressed.  It just all happened at the end, very quickly (due to using the peanut pillow, of all simple things!)  Luckily, my OB is very patient, extremely experienced with inductions, and let things just happen as they were happening, as long as my daughter and I were in no danger.

ladythrice

maureenmce said:

looeeze said:

STMs: What do you wish you would've asked your OB about earlier or gotten more clarity on?

Maybe this is a later on thing, but I would ask a bunch about the induction process and how they approach it, how the hospital you're delivering at will approach it, and how it might impact your birth plan.  When I found out the hospital where I was delivering wouldn't even allow me to get up and use the bathroom after breaking my water, and that I would be hooked up to approximately 1 million tubes and machines, I decided to get an epidural.  It wasn't a big deal to me, but if I had been planning for an unmedicated birth, it would have been tough with an induction and I would have wanted to discuss strategies to achieve that with my OB.

Also, it's important to know, just for your own planning and frame of reference, when your OB will induce (mine is strict about it being around 41.1 or 41.2) and how patient he or she is with the induction process.  Inductions can be LONG and if you're looking to have a vaginal birth, make sure you don't get an OB who is quick to jump to a c section unless there is a medical need.  All of the nurses at my hospital told me that with any other OB I would have ended up with a c section because mine took 27 hours, 25 of which I barely progressed.  It just all happened at the end, very quickly (due to using the peanut pillow, of all simple things!)  Luckily, my OB is very patient, extremely experienced with inductions, and let things just happen as they were happening, as long as my daughter and I were in no danger.

This is an excellent point! My sister had TWO inductions for ONE delivery. They attempted (because of pre-e concerns) on a Monday. She went through Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday before they SENT HER HOME Wednesday afternoon with a failed induction (she was stable as was the babe so they saw no reason to push). They began round two of induction the following Monday using additional techniques (folly bulb among other). Her induction began Monday evening and my niece was born Wednesday. My sister is a beast man and her medical team was wonderful and gave her plenty of time to progress. I know my hospital, neither of the ones I delivered at, would have been as patient.

[Edited for clarity]

mountainsmama

@looeeze I switched from an OB to a midwives group after my first trimester for a number of reasons. I found that once I left the OB, they didn't really care to do much to help me out. Like I had to request that they fax my records to the new group several times. Make sure your records and blood tests and all that jazz get transferred so you can avoid double-testing (and billing). Other than that, I found that starting with a new practitioner after 12 weeks was totally fine and I'm SO glad I made the switch. (I'm still on a list serv for the old OB who now sends out ads for in-office botox, so, um, I'm glad I found a care provider with a slightly different mindset).

dirtyboots

lolablue3 said:

orangecup said:

I guess I'm one of the few who didn't get a RNP.

I've never used a RNP either. 

I heard so many horror stories of babies not sleeping unless in the rnp so I never got one. I always laid baby flat to sleep and never had any issues with having to transition out of it. 

dirtyboots

kbamomma33 said:

looeeze said:

STMs: What do you wish you would've asked your OB about earlier or gotten more clarity on?

I would find out what their c-section and episiotomy rates are. Ask them if there is anything that they do (and what) to prevent tearing at birth.
If there is something that you want (e.g. delayed cord clamping, med free birth, immediate skin to skin, etc), word the question as, "How do you feel about xyz?" instead of, "Can I have xyz at birth?" You will get the answer to the "can I have" question and find out more about your doctor's personal philosophies that way.
I would also find out how they feel about how necessary cervix checks toward the end of the pregnancy are, and if you can refuse them. The cervix checks, IMO, are painful and unnecessary. How dilated/effaced you are at the end really has no bearing on when you will go into labor. I don't know why they even do them. There are ladies who walk around at 2 cm for weeks and nothing. There are also ladies who are closed up tight at a check and go into labor the next night. I feel like the checks cause anxiety and just make you pissed at your cervix. I won't be doing them until active labor ever again. Some ladies like to know all the things though, so I guess that one is just your preference. 

No cervix checks here either. Just opportunity for bacteria to get up there and it can cause irritation/cramping/bleeding. Didn't have any checks with my 1st and will be declining for this one as well. 

ngolimento

looeeze said:

Thanks ladies! 

I have my first prenatal OB appointment today. I like her, but after a few really bad experiences with the hospital she's at I've decided I do not want to deliver there, so I'll be switching practices as soon as I can (MH is out of the state right now and I want to wait til he gets back before we decide where to go). Has anyone switched hospitals while PG before? Anything I need to know? 

I have switched OBs and hospitals in the middle of pregnancy.  100% go for it if you are not comfortable with the original one.  You are going to rely on strangers during the very hardest thing you have ever done.  You NEED people and a facility that you trust.  I was so glad to switch for my daughter.  I went from a place that devistated me unnecessarily and tried to force things on me that I expressly said I didn't want, to a place that made her birth extremely positive despite having to throw my plan out the window.

sparklingdiamond

I am not a FTM but had a question for all of you that are on your third or more pregnancy.  When did you start showing with your second?

kmalls

@sparklingdiamond good question! This made me go back through my pictures to look at the progression. It seems like right around 14-15 weeks I was visibly pregnant. My pregnancies were pretty close together, though -- I have no idea if that had something to do with it. 

nond135

@sparklingdiamond With my second I gave up and switched to larger pants starting around 6 weeks, but no one knew until I said something at around 13 weeks even though I had gained 10-15 lbs already (I started at about 100). This time I am 7w5d and haven't gained a pound and am still in normal pants. I think with my second it became real obvious around 16 weeks. I had the same gap between 1 and 2 as between 2 and 3 (within a couple weeks)

lindsye

sparklingdiamond said:

I am not a FTM but had a question for all of you that are on your third or more pregnancy.  When did you start showing with your second?

I showed late with both my first and second. By #3, though, I showed MUCH earlier. #4 is a joke - I swear I started looking pregnant, like, the day after implantation.

8bithearts

Rock n play!

sjn00

Just a heads up on the Rock N Play. Its amazing at first. But transition from Rock N Play to Crib after is a pain in the a**

orangecup

I second or third or whatever advocating for yourself. I think a lot of times we think we have to do something because the doctor suggests it. If you don't feel comfortable or want something done then say so. Ask for the reasoning behind it. Don't be afraid to speak up.

growingournest

kmalls said:

hedgepig said:

What is your SINGLE most favorite (most useful, best value, etc.) item that you have puchased for your baby/babies? 

@hedgepig for me, hands down, our Rock N Play. It's small and portable (I can bring it into any room I'm in) and was a LIFESAVER for both my kids with reflux. The incline is perfection for babies that can't sleep lying flat. It's wonderful. 

Ditto! DS would only sleep in his rock n play for such a long time!

ladythrice

sparklingdiamond said:

I am not a FTM but had a question for all of you that are on your third or more pregnancy.  When did you start showing with your second?

With my first I started showing at about 20 weeks. I was more like 24 weeks before strangers realized i was pregnant. (I gain most of my weight at the end of my pregnancy... except for this pregnancy. I might front load it all with the way I'm eating lately lol.)

With my second I started showing closer to 16 weeks, but it still wasn't super obvious until 20+.

I'm 6 weeks right now and the bloat I had last week already had me retire one pair of work capris lololol.

I've heard that the more pregnancies your body experiences, the faster it gets its act together to pop out that belly and make room for the baby. My mom, like @lindsye had four pregnancies and she jokes that with the fourth she started wearing maternity pants the day she knew she was pregnant.

lindsye

@ladythrice I swear I felt round ligament pain within a day or two of implantation this time, which does not bode well. My uterus is clearly preparing to expand enough to accommodate a baby elephant. 

jenotontx

lindsye said:

@ladythrice I swear I felt round ligament pain within a day or two of implantation this time, which does not bode well. My uterus is clearly preparing to expand enough to accommodate a baby elephant. 

Can you describe what round ligament pain feels like? I have had a few cramps that seem pretty intense, like bad menstrual cramps and it covers my entire uterus. It's not just located to one side. Do you think that may be what I am experiencing?   

ngolimento

JJMNO1616 said:

lindsye said:

@ladythrice I swear I felt round ligament pain within a day or two of implantation this time, which does not bode well. My uterus is clearly preparing to expand enough to accommodate a baby elephant. 

Can you describe what round ligament pain feels like? I have had a few cramps that seem pretty intense, like bad menstrual cramps and it covers my entire uterus. It's not just located to one side. Do you think that may be what I am experiencing?   

Nope, you will know it when you feel it.  It's like ligament pain in other joints. It can be sharp and stabby, only povoked by a certain movement, or a constant deep ache.

jenotontx

ngolimento said:

JJMNO1616 said:

lindsye said:

@ladythrice I swear I felt round ligament pain within a day or two of implantation this time, which does not bode well. My uterus is clearly preparing to expand enough to accommodate a baby elephant. 

Can you describe what round ligament pain feels like? I have had a few cramps that seem pretty intense, like bad menstrual cramps and it covers my entire uterus. It's not just located to one side. Do you think that may be what I am experiencing?   

Nope, you will know it when you feel it.  It's like ligament pain in other joints. It can be sharp and stabby, only povoked by a certain movement, or a constant deep ache.

Well that sounds pleasant  

lindsye

ngolimento said:

JJMNO1616 said:

lindsye said:

@ladythrice I swear I felt round ligament pain within a day or two of implantation this time, which does not bode well. My uterus is clearly preparing to expand enough to accommodate a baby elephant. 

Can you describe what round ligament pain feels like? I have had a few cramps that seem pretty intense, like bad menstrual cramps and it covers my entire uterus. It's not just located to one side. Do you think that may be what I am experiencing?   

Nope, you will know it when you feel it.  It's like ligament pain in other joints. It can be sharp and stabby, only povoked by a certain movement, or a constant deep ache.

@JJMNO1616 yep this. It's like a tugging/sharpish pain, often at the corner of your uterus and often brought on by sudden movement (in my experience anyway). I felt it recently when I was holding my son and stood up from sitting on the couch. Past pregnancies I would often feel it when I changed positions sleeping/lying in bed or sit up quickly in bed.

Puddlewonderful

lindsye said:

@ladythrice I swear I felt round ligament pain within a day or two of implantation this time, which does not bode well. My uterus is clearly preparing to expand enough to accommodate a baby elephant. 

Me too!! I had it super early with my first too. Hard to hide pregnancy when you yell out OH CRAP every time you stand up too fast at work

psuxray07

Puddlewonderful said:

lindsye said:

@ladythrice I swear I felt round ligament pain within a day or two of implantation this time, which does not bode well. My uterus is clearly preparing to expand enough to accommodate a baby elephant. 

Me too!! I had it super early with my first too. Hard to hide pregnancy when you yell out OH CRAP every time you stand up too fast at work

 I feel it too! If I cough or something, I have to bend my knees up, or certain movements do it.  H kept acting like I was just faking because I'm sure he thinks you can't feel anything yet.