@cmmiller531 I think it must be the nesting stage or something because all I want to do is go shopping and buy stuff. I'm normally not like that at all, but right now it's HARD to fight the urge to shop.
Together: January 2002 Married: May 2008 Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
@Mango517 What a TWAT! I have a bunch of stretch marks on my lower belly (totally expected them), but I would never want anyone to ask me about them! EWWW
@cmmiller531 All I want to do is online shop. I am working from home, now until the baby, and I have spent more than 50% of my time looking at stuff online and trying to decide to buy it or not.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
+1 for the online shopping problem! Amazon has literally been the death of me. I just found out there is an Amazon credit card, so I'm seriously contemplating signing up for one. If I'm gonna be shopping, I might as well earn the rewards for it!
@Mango517 I wish I could blame nesting. Just a really bad habit I need to learn to break lol
i have been opening all the little things like nail clippers and organizing her dresser. I stocked the little diaper caddy on the pack n play, sanitized bottles, washed clothes, Packed our bags. All set there.
The client that just signed our contract today after 3+ months of talks is a twat...part of our pay is commission and this would be my biggest one. Except I won't be here to run most of it so the woman we added to my team 2 weeks ago, who is taking over my accounts (and who I like and recommended for the position) will run most of it and get most of the commission. I know I won't be here to run it but that doesn't mean I am not cranky about it.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
1) Hell yes to online shopping. I've been a minimalist with this baby since he's #4, and we had a bunch of stuff left from DD, and from the older boys. But I just discovered my parents gave away DD's infant car seat, so I had to replace it & also purchase a double-stroller. Now I'm focusing on all the little things (booties, newborn caps). It's definitely "nesting" in a sense!
2) I'm also feeling guilty for not being as active with the kids as I usually am. I think it's the combination of me being over a decade older than my 1st pregnancy & it being baby #4. I just have no energy. DD & I read books and watch baby TV or Netflix all morning before her nap (about 2-2.5hrs a day). We have a privacy fence, so the boys can play outside with minimal supervision. At least there's that!
I wanted to start setting up my maternity leave documents a month ago but the company who handles it for us doesn't do anything until 30 days before your expected due date. California is the only state that directly pays you some of your salary so a form has to be submitted to the state. My OB's office gave me the form and I was all ready to send it in and they told me a month ago that they will submit it for me and now my paperwork I got yesterday says I'm responsible for it. Their customer service line puts you on hold for 3 minutes then forces you to leave a voicemail. I called 9 times while I was working (redial, press 3, hang up, redial, press 3...so not too much energy on my part) but I seriously think they just don't have anyone answering the phones. Horrible customer service.
@kvh22 I can relate. My DH should get the TW award this week since he JUST requested the FLMA paperwork from his employer. I still have to get filed out by my OB's office & faxed in. I'm upset he waited until a month before my EDD to even contact HR. *massive eyeroll*
@kvh22 and @PinkPrincessPiper My employer is the twat today. I just got the email saying my paperwork is ready to go for my leave (im 38 weeks today!). I have to print it out to have some filled out, but I dont have a working printer at home . . . I requested this a month ago, so I could print at work, and get it all taken care of. They are super lucky I did go early! So super annoyed at them!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@littlebug2010 I would be in the same boat! Luckily DH printed it for me and can scan it in - although he biked to/from work yesterday so the paperwork may have gotten a little sweaty . Waiting until you're 38 weeks is so dumb on their part. I thought the 30 days before rule for sending paperwork (DH's is the same way for his paternity leave) was cutting it close. Let me be proactive if I want to be proactive!
@kvh22 I know! I emailed HR when I hit 20 weeks, to ask about it, and she was like "do nothing until the 17th of July!". I still sent out for the paper work and leave at the beginning of july, but apparently getting the paperwork to me was no rush at all. DH has had his paternity leave set for months!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
+1 for online shopping being the most entertaining thing to do these days (when not with my kids, obviously). @kristenk727 DH and I never get out to stores (so I'm telling myself I save money by not ever entering a target), but we receive almost daily deliveries from Amazon. The Amazon credit card is our most rewarding card for sure - the $points rack up fast!
When I try to step away from Etsy/Amazon etc I find myself on petfinder.com, which is soooo much more dangerous (my last dog died last month). I keep telling myself that 3 kids and 2 full-time working parents is no time/place to get a dog (or any animal - I had ferrets before dogs), but DD1 has been so upset and even DH thinks it feels so weird to not have one. They are tempting me, but I must remain strong!!
+1 for online shopping being the most entertaining thing to do these days (when not with my kids, obviously). @kristenk727 DH and I never get out to stores (so I'm telling myself I save money by not ever entering a target), but we receive almost daily deliveries from Amazon. The Amazon credit card is our most rewarding card for sure - the $points rack up fast!
When I try to step away from Etsy/Amazon etc I find myself on petfinder.com, which is soooo much more dangerous (my last dog died last month). I keep telling myself that 3 kids and 2 full-time working parents is no time/place to get a dog (or any animal - I had ferrets before dogs), but DD1 has been so upset and even DH thinks it feels so weird to not have one. They are tempting me, but I must remain strong!!
Our only dog had to be put to rest in February. Part of me is ready for another and part of me still gets misty eyed when I see an old black lab or I think about him. So I browse the local Humane Society Website like 2-3 times a week looking at dogs and cats. I don't even like cats lol.
@littlebug2010 I sent my FMLA paperwork to HR in March. Today I got an email saying it's approved and instructions with what I need to do when I officially go out. No idea why it took them 4 months!!!
@cmmiller531 My Amazon credit card is the only one I have. I usually average about $20-30 of rewards each month that I can spend on Amazon and feel less guilty about ordering so much stuff
@kvh22 The reality is, time gets so...warped?...while you're in the hospital. I am dreading the exhaustion that comes after labor more than anything else. That is why having someone (DH, mom, best friend...) around is nice.
I'm all for giving hubby a break to shower and clean up a bit, but you really will want someone there with you.
My SIL had her baby, and the next morning her husband went home to shower and take a nap. He left the hospital around 9am...didn't come back until 9pm. She called me and asked me to come sit with the baby so she could sleep a little. I was texting my BIL asking him what time he would be back...turns out he showered, slept, went to the store, ran some errands, and then decided to go out to dinner without his parents (at a sit-down restaurant).
I could have choked him. So inconsiderate. A short break is fine. 12 hours isn't.
@AdvoCyndi30 Wow! That's nuts. I was thinking more for an hour or two since my mom and sister will (hopefully) be here to stay with me in the hospital. DH would never do anything like that and I would assume he was in a ditch on the side of the road if he did. He definitely errs on the side of overcommunicating but we're also across the country from any family so it's really just us which I think contributes to that.
I went to get something out of a kitchen cabinet and all of the empty nespresso pods poured out of it and onto the floor b/c DH didn't put it in the cabinet in a good spot nor did he seal the bag for recycling. I can't have any coffee so haven't even been contributing to it. It will be on the floor for him to clean up when he gets home from work since I can't bend over to pick it all up.
@cmmiller531 we definitely save a lot of money from having that card (I feel like we do at least 75% of non-perishable shopping on there). As long as you are the type to pay it off in full every month I would highly recommend it!
@bvoisey it is the old dogs that get me too! I feel like I am pretty good at handling their passing and could totally rescue senior dogs on the regular if I didn't have to work! Hopefully some day
Ok, let me preface this by saying I'm really hurt about this more than anything else. My sil is 21 and lives with us (I've mentioned her before). We took her in and fired the nanny we had (and loved) because she was homeless and got kicked out of her parents house. For the last 6 months the plan has been that regardless when I go into labor she will be watching the twins. Two weeks ago she applied for an "extra job". We pay her several thousand dollars a month, do not charge her rent and pay for all her food. I'm not sure why she needs an extra job. Now she started work today and they put her on the schedule for Saturday which is the morning I'm being induced. We have no other family in the area. So this now means my mom can't be in the delivery room, she has to watch the twins. Also, while my mom is in perfectly good health, she's 70. It's hard to run around, clean up and cook for two 20 month olds at any age. I feel terrible for my mom, upset at sil and really confused why she chose this time to start a new job. I'm even paying her through my whole maternity leave because I didn't want her to have to find a job in the interim.
Eta- now my Husband will have to leave the hospital to check in on my mom and the kids several times. I can't even ask a friend to help for the day because it's one of my best friends baby showers and everyone is going!
@JDBtwinmama um, no. Not okay. I'd say you'll have to put your foot down. Have you talked to her about this? Sternly? I'm a super direct person so I know that's not for everyone, but I'd "fire" her. No way am I paying someone thousands of dollars a month and dealing with that.
@JDBtwinmama agree with @mrsmatt1212 - if she needs to get another job and can't be there for you when she knew you needed her to watch your children, don't pay her while you're on maternity leave unless she babysits (in which case she can earn $20 an hour or whatever ridiculous rate I've heard it's up to nowadays).
@mrsmatt1212 and @kvh22 I've already had the conversation! I'm the same way! It will save us a TON of money so that's a bright spot. I'm more upset that I took her in and gave her a realllllly good job when no one else would. I've done so much for her, my husband would never have let her live with us if it weren't for me. I thought I could rely on her and now I don't think I can. She says she'll nanny when I go back to work but Now I'm concerned she won't be.
@JDBtwinmama I agree with PPs. Flat out tell her if that's what she wants to do then she can find another place to live. Why in the world does she need another job? Honestly, you don't need the stress so have your husband talk to her. I'm not sure what she did to get kicked out of where she was living before, but it sounds like she takes advantage of people and uses them up.
@SouthernMama15 honestly their parents are nuts. It was not her fault she got kicked out. HOWEVER, I told her if she wasn't watching my kids she needs to pay rent and all that. She is usually so sweet, and I know she's trying to save for a car and she wants to have her own place by December (nearby to us so she can watch the kids). When I told my mom about it, she really thinks that sil is just young and didn't really think this through. To be fair, when we had the conversation that's what it seemed like to me too, but it's so hard to tell.
eta they kicked DH out when he was in high school. For no good reason, and all of his sisters and brothers tell me the story of how crazy it was, and his mom says he decided to move out on his own...at 16.
@JDBtwinmama maybe she's just being naive and doesn't realize the bind she's putting y'all in. I still think it calls for an open and honest conversation. If she doesn't have to pay rent or buy food and is making several thousand a month she should very realistically be able to save for a car with that. If it was me I'd be more focused on a car and making sure I can afford the payment, gas, and insurance for a while before getting into a situation where I had to pay rent.
@SouthernMama15 that is exactly the advice I gave her about the car! Do one at a time! I told her how hurt I was and we have had these conversations. I'm just disappointed.
@SouthernMama15 thank you so much! None of my friends understand because none of them have kids, and we are going to have 3 under 2. So they have no idea the struggle with childcare!
@kvh22 I don't have a problem with DH going home at night because he's really uncomfortable on the hospital cot and one of us should be rested. With DS1, he stayed overnight for the induction, but then went home for a couple of nights and had to take care of things during the day at both work and home. We moved into our house less than a week before I was induced and he had to be home for a few appointments. With DS2, he didn't stay overnight at all because he was taking care of DS1. I don't expect him to stay overnight this time either so he can take care of the kids and get them off to camp on time in the morning. My parents will be around for at least a few days to help out, but they're not great with making sure the kids go to bed at a reasonable hour and I'm sure they'd have trouble getting the kids out of the house on time several days in a row. It's just easier for all of us having him at home at night.
@JDBtwinmama I would not let that fly. You had her 'booked' for saturday if she can't make it, just like a regular job it would be a no show and result in termination of employment. She wants to be paid and have food etc covered than Saturday is a non negotiable and she can work it out with her new employer not you.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
ugh DHs best friends girlfriend just texted me and asked if her bf was here. i showed the text to DH and said what should i say he told me not to lie for him even though it's his bestfriend. i told her he wasn't here and she says "oh well he's supposed to be thanks hon" which she never says. she's a little bit possessive when it comes to him so i kinda feel bad and probably got him in trouble.
Ok so serious BF/Twat- the city! They have been doing water main work/ replacement in sections near our neighborhood. This morning the signs went up that they are starting my street in one week. We are talking 3mos of construction crews on my street at 7am M-F. Days where our water will be shutoff and no parking on our street (thus issues for visitors) 7a-4p M-F. So...essentially my entire maternity leave.
Seriously?! With a newborn and a dog at home water is sort of needed, not to mention hours of jackhammering and no visitor parking?! I almost started to cry. Guess DD better be a good sleeper when it comes to noise. I am sure my dog is going to hate it. No water all day will require DH taking me, baby and dog to grandparents house, not like I would rather be home with my pump and fridge and bed and everything!!!! Argh/ tears!
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@smallbutmighty77 I have a client like that! My backup is completely useless and refuses to talk to my clients and field counterparts. I doubt he'll win the deal!
@smallbutmighty77 Girl.... that blows. They tore up my street months ago and then stopped working suddenly, so the one side is very poorly patched. There's a pothole outside our building that some people hit really hard and it's annoying. I don't know when they're going to start working on it again though. Overheard some of the condo board guys talking and apparently there was some drama with the contractor the city hired, hence the work stoppage? For what it's worth, in the countless months our street's been torn up, the only day they shut off the water was last Friday. Honestly, if there are more water shut-offs during my Leave I'll probably plan to just go to my parents' or something.
Re: TW/BF 7/24
Together: January 2002
Married: May 2008
Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
@cmmiller531 All I want to do is online shop. I am working from home, now until the baby, and I have spent more than 50% of my time looking at stuff online and trying to decide to buy it or not.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
i have been opening all the little things like nail clippers and organizing her dresser. I stocked the little diaper caddy on the pack n play, sanitized bottles, washed clothes, Packed our bags. All set there.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
1) Hell yes to online shopping. I've been a minimalist with this baby since he's #4, and we had a bunch of stuff left from DD, and from the older boys. But I just discovered my parents gave away DD's infant car seat, so I had to replace it & also purchase a double-stroller. Now I'm focusing on all the little things (booties, newborn caps). It's definitely "nesting" in a sense!
2) I'm also feeling guilty for not being as active with the kids as I usually am. I think it's the combination of me being over a decade older than my 1st pregnancy & it being baby #4. I just have no energy. DD & I read books and watch baby TV or Netflix all morning before her nap (about 2-2.5hrs a day). We have a privacy fence, so the boys can play outside with minimal supervision. At least there's that!
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
When I try to step away from Etsy/Amazon etc I find myself on petfinder.com, which is soooo much more dangerous (my last dog died last month). I keep telling myself that 3 kids and 2 full-time working parents is no time/place to get a dog (or any animal - I had ferrets before dogs), but DD1 has been so upset and even DH thinks it feels so weird to not have one. They are tempting me, but I must remain strong!!
DD#1: 5/29/12
DD#2: 1/14/15
Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17
I'm all for giving hubby a break to shower and clean up a bit, but you really will want someone there with you.
My SIL had her baby, and the next morning her husband went home to shower and take a nap. He left the hospital around 9am...didn't come back until 9pm. She called me and asked me to come sit with the baby so she could sleep a little. I was texting my BIL asking him what time he would be back...turns out he showered, slept, went to the store, ran some errands, and then decided to go out to dinner without his parents (at a sit-down restaurant).
I could have choked him. So inconsiderate. A short break is fine. 12 hours isn't.
That guy... aw hell no. I would be so upset with DH if he did that!
I went to get something out of a kitchen cabinet and all of the empty nespresso pods poured out of it and onto the floor b/c DH didn't put it in the cabinet in a good spot nor did he seal the bag for recycling. I can't have any coffee so haven't even been contributing to it. It will be on the floor for him to clean up when he gets home from work since I can't bend over to pick it all up.
@bvoisey it is the old dogs that get me too! I feel like I am pretty good at handling their passing and could totally rescue senior dogs on the regular if I didn't have to work! Hopefully some day
DD#1: 5/29/12
DD#2: 1/14/15
Baby #3 on the way due 8/19/17
Eta- now my Husband will have to leave the hospital to check in on my mom and the kids several times. I can't even ask a friend to help for the day because it's one of my best friends baby showers and everyone is going!
eta they kicked DH out when he was in high school. For no good reason, and all of his sisters and brothers tell me the story of how crazy it was, and his mom says he decided to move out on his own...at 16.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
Seriously?! With a newborn and a dog at home water is sort of needed, not to mention hours of jackhammering and no visitor parking?! I almost started to cry. Guess DD better be a good sleeper when it comes to noise. I am sure my dog is going to hate it. No water all day will require DH taking me, baby and dog to grandparents house, not like I would rather be home with my pump and fridge and bed and everything!!!! Argh/ tears!
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
Girl.... that blows. They tore up my street months ago and then stopped working suddenly, so the one side is very poorly patched. There's a pothole outside our building that some people hit really hard and it's annoying. I don't know when they're going to start working on it again though.
Overheard some of the condo board guys talking and apparently there was some drama with the contractor the city hired, hence the work stoppage? For what it's worth, in the countless months our street's been torn up, the only day they shut off the water was last Friday.
Honestly, if there are more water shut-offs during my Leave I'll probably plan to just go to my parents' or something.